non joiner

[erica12b]

How do I change ‘ myself’ so I don’t feel so alone, I was thinking about one of the threads and fitting in with the girl talk , yet I always at some point know its time for me 'to not be ' in the girl talk and leave the room , go do the guy thing, or as I realized thinking about it, just leave the event, time to go (run) I can never let my fem side show, except when I dress and that is behind closed doors , alone. I’m afraid to meet other (cd’s),
I can except my fem side when im alone, here on the net,
I have never been a ( joiner )
I’m trying to find my demons , so I can understand them , you know?

[Kate Lynn]

you seem young,take it slow,you have a long life ahead of you.

[erica12b]

i wish i was half my age and knew what some of the kids here know now, im 43 now and just finding the world has shades of grey and very little black or white .

[Miranda09]

That's part of the fun and experience. The key is to let yourself experience it, and don't be shy around here. Drop in, say hi, contribute to discussions. It really doesn't have anything to do with "joining" as much as it does just socializing. Remember, age is just a number. :)

[erica12b]

and its a big number lol , here i try and join in the talk but in the real world , its another story

[Pamela Julie]

My number is almost 60 and it is just a number. You can join in as much or as little as you like. You do not need to interact with other cd's in person if that does not suit you. If you do wish to meet others like yourself, post in the Meeting Place forum to make contact with others.

Pamela:)

[TGMarla]

Really, dear, you have little to worry about. We all get tired of banging the forum after a while, and we go about doing other things. Who said you have to be feminine 100% of the time? Why not enjoy your guy stuff whenever you feel like it, and your femme stuff whenever you're in that mood? Best of both worlds, really. I'm the same way. Don't sweat it so much. The fact is you do not belong in either place...you belong in both. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Misty G]

I felt the same way for a long time then I made contact and joined a support group in Atlanta, Ga. One of the best things I ever done. Met lot of other cd's joined in a discussion group.

[Karren H]

I don't know because I've always been out going.. Lately it takes me 30 minutes to get from my truck to my office because I have to stop and chat with damn near everyone I meet.. Mostly females.. And I just got a call from a local CD friend.. Were going out to lunch in drab next week.. To catch up since were both so busy..

I'd start slow and pick a subjuct. (Person) that your semi comfortable approaching and stop by and start a conversation.. Be it so small at first then each day... Or every other day try to lengthen the sonversation.. Then add in other. People and expand at your pace..

Starter are the weather.. Local news.. National news.. The Stanley Cup playoffs!! :):):).

There's a group of 10 girls that take lunch outside my office every day and I make sure I swing by and say high or even set down and jump into the conversation..

The receptionest who is a hotty and I have been talking dieting and exersizing of late.. The girl in the cafe and I have been talking hockey... One of the secretarys just got a new car.. Our technitian is pregnant with her first and she always stops by to talk about having babys!! Hahaha

Its a blast once you get into it..

[sabrinaedwards]

Hi Erica, I know how you feel because we have so much to lose; our jobs, friends, spouses, other family members. We want to go out there, but it's a gamble. Even now after many years, it's scary to meet others who are really strangers. I wish you luck on your trek.
Love, Sabrina

[erica12b]

lose everthing , i did that in the divorce, but that could be it im afraid of losing so i dont play, that is a deep thought , thanks im going to think on this one , lol alot of deep thinking just hopeim not sinking , or just stinking lol

[TommiTN]

Erica, I know you said you're not a joiner. I'm kinda that way myself. But you sound like you've reached the same fork in the road I did about a year ago. My fem side could no longer be denied; she needed her time in the sun. So I swallowed my fears and did join a support group that gets Tommi out and about on a regular basis, albeit in a city some distance from my home. You might consider doing something similar. Look up Tri Ess, the largest national organization for CDers. There you'll find a listing of local chapters; I'm betting there's one in Denver. Investigate, correspond with them. I don't think you'll regret it.

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"

Yogi Bera

[Carly D.]

It doesn't matter how old you are or when you started to cross dress... the truth is I have been dressing for as long as I can remember and I have been in the closet and quite fearful of what would happen if my (dirty) little secret were to be discovered.. I can accept myself for what I am but fear what just one member of my family finding out and saying they don't like that part of me and everyone else fallowing suit.. it's not like when you turn 16 you get a drivers license and turn 21 you can drink (legally)... there is no age where you start to feel more at ease with cross dressing and can go out in public, though I wish there was.. I think it is up to the person who dares to try this lifestyle.. such as the case of sexuality, people probably know before they are into puberty that they feel differently.. I knew when I was pre junior highschooler that I was into womens clothing.. that did make school a different treat (see another thread).. but as far as being a "joiner" you're here, that's the toughest part is "joining" a forum.. if I were you I would read a good number of the entries here.. I did, and for a good year before registering here.. so relax, you're amongst fellow travelers on this highway known as cross dressing...

[erica12b]

there is a chapter in denver, but if yo look at a map its 250miles an two passes away there meetngs are on sat night i work sat cant get there in time as for joinig the forum its still just typing and kind of detached , i was talking with one of the dd's here in town and when the words came out of my mouth i would get the shakes and shuters ,lol

[Lisa Golightly]

Oh meeting other cd's is just plain weird at first... least I found it was... but then I felt quite detatched from people who wanted to meet 'Lisa Golightly' rather than just plain shy, boring, dull little Lisa. Still I persisted and did meet some lovely people, but Lisa being Lisa I ran away from them all when I struggled with my transsexuality. I've since contacted some again and most have welcomed me with hugs, but a few have totally ignored me... Shame.

Being painfully shy I never was one for the scene or groups so everyone I met was one on one really which my extreme shyness just about coped with... That 'Lisa Golightly' brand image was sometimes useful to hide behind... lol :)

Thinking about your girl talk comment... On friday I went to a barbeque and by the time it was late I found myself with the girls at a table chatting while all the boys were milling around an open fire laughing and I kind of felt sorry I wasn't there for a second... Funny... adopted by the girls as a girl and I longed to join the boys... Hmmmmm... Sorry just thinking aloud...

Best advice I can give is to forge some friendships with people on the forum and then go meet them as friends... The clothes simply will not matter then...

Lisa x