Cross Dressing: Friend or Foe?

[Jerigirl]

Hi Girls.

I've often wondered why I like wearing women's clothing so much. Even my mother commented once during Halloween that I really loved girly clothes at a young age. I went out dressed as a girl with a wig, skirt, blouse, and heels. I remember feeling excited and turned on. I remember feeling extremely attracted to my sister's panties as a young teenager (about 15 or so). She had the cutest, pink panties with white lace on the leg openings. After seeing them, I knew that I had to try them on! My first experience of sliding on a silky, nylon, pair of girl's underpanties was a thrill. My legs shook as I slid them up my legs and over my privates.

I always loved panties as a teen. I would steal them from clothes lines, take them home, and put them on. Soon, panties weren't enough. I need to try on other feminine things--skirts, blouses, dresses, nyons, pantyhose, and heels. My collection of lingerie continued to get bigger. Then purging, and more purging. I tried to deny my feminine side. Only to turn around and buy more panties and women's clothing. What am I to do? It's a habit (or compulsion) that's so hard to give up! But I love it so much! My wife left me because of it. The loss has been nearly devasting. I hope to find a woman who accepts my cross dressing, but it's very difficult to find one. I live in an extremely conservative state (Utah) where most people frown upon my behaviors. What's a girl to do? Anyone have any ideas. I only hope and wish for acceptance and love from others, but am feeling distraught today.

Kisses,
Jeri Girl

[Wendy me]

huge wendy feel better hugs.......

[eileen1969]

And I do hope that you hang in there girl! I say little prayer for you love!
When it comes to others thoughts, perceptions, opinions, even judgements...
I thought coming out was a step towards freedom....little did I know, at the time I thought life would even be better for mio!~ unfortunatley it was not that way. I was persecuted, judged and then condemed back into my own imprisonment of where I wanted to freed from. I put all my energy into others!~ society at large, my community, my family and so called freinds! I was deep into expectations! My mistake, HUGE one! One thing is do not ever think for a second that you can control others! impossible and painful! Its how you carry yourself and reach out to those whom are real- supportive and caring about you are the ones to keep close! I find that today, I can now walk down my road of life and for most peeeps~ I will never get to know or ever see again!
And my fam they are adjusting daily! and here I am gaining more real freinds that care of who I am not what I wear....God be with you honey Lots of Love your freind Eileen Julie Victoria Amber~Lynn xoxo ;) :love: :)

[Sally2]

Hi Girls.

I've often wondered why I like wearing women's clothing so much. Even my mother commented once during Halloween that I really loved girly clothes at a young age. I went out dressed as a girl with a wig, skirt, blouse, and heels. I remember feeling excited and turned on. I remember feeling extremely attracted to my sister's panties as a young teenager (about 15 or so). She had the cutest, pink panties with white lace on the leg openings. After seeing them, I knew that I had to try them on! My first experience of sliding on a silky, nylon, pair of girl's underpanties was a thrill. My legs shook as I slid them up my legs and over my privates.

I always loved panties as a teen. I would steal them from clothes lines, take them home, and put them on. Soon, panties weren't enough. I need to try on other feminine things--skirts, blouses, dresses, nyons, pantyhose, and heels. My collection of lingerie continued to get bigger. Then purging, and more purging. I tried to deny my feminine side. Only to turn around and buy more panties and women's clothing. What am I to do? It's a habit (or compulsion) that's so hard to give up! But I love it so much! My wife left me because of it. The loss has been nearly devasting. I hope to find a woman who accepts my cross dressing, but it's very difficult to find one. I live in an extremely conservative state (Utah) where most people frown upon my behaviors. What's a girl to do? Anyone have any ideas. I only hope and wish for acceptance and love from others, but am feeling distraught today.

Kisses,
Jeri Girl
Jeri Girl
I was listening to a radio program in which an individual was faced with a devastating and life threatening disease. His choices were to die from it or live with it. He chose to live with it. You can make a similiar choice and live with it. As crossdressers we know its innate with us. It will never go away but you have to harness those desires and be positive and realistic in your approach. First of all, you found a forum where many wonderful individuals will support you and help you through your down times. Yes, its unfortunate that the area you live in is not T-friendly. however, in my brief involvement with this forum I'm sure I've seen others from your state. Maybe they will see your plight and give you some insight to places in Utah where you can go crossdressed. Can you travel? San Francisco has much to offer CDs. Don't despair! Maintain a positive attitude. Perhaps you can start a thread asking about CDing in Utah. This forum has a lot to offer. Visit often and good luck. Sally2

[Stephenie]

Jeri,

You are not alone in how you feel there are millione of us in this world that feel the same way. Those of us here on this forum will alway accept you for who you are. You can come here to be with friends and have a few laughs. Even if you come in drab you will be weclome. This is the best gaggle of chicks I have ever had the pleasure to met.

[Jerigirl]

Thank you so much for the love and support from everyone! It's so good to know that there are other "girls" like me with the same feelings.


Kisses,
Jeri

[Nicole_Lasmedias]

I feel the same way... Desire to dress is so strong, that when I'm not dressed, it even hurts... And you are talking about Utah is conservative state... Ha! You haven't been in North Dakota...

[emmicd]

Cheer up Jeri girl! I feel exactly the same as you and when reading your essay I thought I was reading my own! I too can identify with you 100 %. I am sorry about your marriage. I wish I could say something to make you feel better.

I too am a cross dresser who started at the age of 5 and dressed in so many femme clothes I lost track. I too have purged many times only to repeat the cycle.

I have a beautiful wife and son who come before my cross dressing. I can't destroy how I feel about my cross dressing since it is an extension of who I am and my wife knows that. She understands my need to dress but will not encourage it. Therefore my coss dressing remains in the shadows and I am very closeted. The only time I'm not closeted is when I shop in the womens/juniors department with such enthusiasm. Even if I'm still dressed as a guy.

Hope your situation improves!

Best of Luck to you and your family!

Emmi

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

conservitive???UTAH???? wer they have poligamy?????


anyways welcome to the chats :) if u can pul it off move down here to Phoenix with me and a ton of other tgs,cds,,,,

my wife likes me to dress and everyone who knows me knows i dress :D

[Lauren_T]

Looky here, Jerigirl. Seems like you're trying to express yourself in a thoroughly harmless, but non-mainstream way but in an oppressive and toxic social setting.
There is one obvious solution, but you may not be free to act on it. You need to move. Rather than change yourself to fit in in a dysfunctional place, take you off to a place where; (a) there's a higher %age of open-minded, and even better, like-minded people, and so (b) you are infinitely more likely to meet someone accepting of, or maybe even seeking, a cd.

In a nourishing - rather than intimidating and punishing - atmosphere, what seems to be a compulsion (in a repressive community) becomes anything from a lovely hobby to an exquisite art form to a lifestyle. It's your choice -
But who am I to talk? I bore my friends to tears raving about the dreamy places - Vancouver, the Puget Sound/Olympic range, Devonshire, &c - I could be living in - but ain't. :( Instead, I live smack dab in the capitol of Machismoland, so don't do as I do, do as I say. :smug:

Life's way too short to stifle your soul in a place where you have to live a lie, so if you can, change your location instead of yourself.
Or not, as the case may be. Hate to sound so dogmatic.


___________________________________
Society wants geniuses but expects them to act like everyone else

[Amy]

Hey Jeri,
I'm also from Utah. I posted trying to find out how many of us are here and as far as I can tell there's at least 7 or 8. Sally2 said I should look this post up to give you some incouragement but I feel kind of silly doing that cause you seem to have been at this a lot longer then I have. I will say this I first came here, about a year ago, I had a lot of questions and this site really helped.
I would like to say that I do absolutely love Utah it is a great place to live but I do understand that it is a place were you will not be excepted as a crossdressers by the general public. It's difficult. But I believe we are defined by our choices and not by those around us.
little aside(I don't wish to be confretational but those were some cheep shots Veronica and Lauren. It's not fare to generalise an entire state. And Veronica there are poligamusts in AZ too.)
Amy

[CharleneCD]

Sorry to hijack this. Amy I dont think Veronica and Lauren were taking cheap shots. I live in mesa Az which has a strong LDS community. Just as a drab male I have felt the selfrightuous bigotry and outright discrimination and favoritism that this wonderful religion can dish out. I cant imagine living in an area where their influence is stronger. We are not taking cheap shots, we are sympathizing with you.

[Amy]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have got defencive and I appologise. What I should have said was I know how hard it is for crossdressers here but despite that there are loving understanding people here too is all
amy