Mom knows......and It just....damn I didn't want to do that

[kynw08]

I came out to mom. She had been needling me about things from my past and just....I finally told her.

Wish I had that one back. She did not need to know and I just.....grrrrrr. She didn't react BADLY mind you, just feeling bad about her knowing.

[TSchapes]

Your mom will always love you. That's what my mom said when I told her. And just before she passed away I had shone her pictures of Tracy. She looked at them and without skipping a beat she said, "nice legs"!

So, I bet it will be OK with your mom too. Give her time, and answer any questions she may have.

Love, Tracy :love:

[battybattybats]

Why do you feel bad about her knowing?

[kynw08]

It's hard to explain? A little self guilt? The fact I've hidden for so long and I worry this will put a wedge between us?

Mom is all I have left.....dad is long dead and most of my family.....well.

[Annamarie B]

Moms love unconditionally.

[kellycan27]

My mom hated it... we fought for 10 years.. she's finally coming around.My b/f and I attended Memorial Day thing that she threw.(I always get an invite,although I am never really expected to show up,and usually don't) She was quite surprised to see me there. She actually introduced me as her daughter, and even addressed me by Kelly (which she swore she'd never do)
Before we left she came over to me and said.. You're really happy aren't you? I can see it in your eyes... you sparkle. Yeah mom, I am happy. She kissed me on the cheek and thanked us for coming. My point being.. give her time,she may come to accept you.

[kynw08]

She acepts me just fine.....not interested in KNOWING about it, or seeing me, but accepts just fine. I'm actually fine with her stance on it....

Just insecure about her knowing...

[Nessa88]

I came out to mom. She had been needling me about things from my past and just....I finally told her.

Wish I had that one back. She did not need to know and I just.....grrrrrr. She didn't react BADLY mind you, just feeling bad about her knowing.

Don't feel bad about it kid, I used to raid my dad's closet which had a whole dresser full of my dead Grandma's sleep wear. Ah yeah! Now that same dresser is in my closet at my apartment.

[Lisa Golightly]

We often feel just a little diminished in their eyes... Not being able to be the boy they thought we were but saying that at least she'll understand you more and in many ways your relationship will benefit because of it... I certainly became less moody...

Lisa x

[Laci6]

just give it time, we all need time to process things of which we do not understand....don't bombard her with anymore just let her come to you now... GOOD LUCK!!!!:)

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Well, fwiw, my mom died when I was seventeen, long, long before I came to terms with my transgenderism. There have been many times that I wish I could have told her about her other daughter.

Hugs...Joni Marie

[Carly D.]

I know what you mean.. this is why I don't tell mom either.. I would doubt that she would ever want to see me dressed this way and I wouldn't feel good dressing this way in front of her and so with that in mind is the reason I won't tell my mom or anyone else for that matter.. I figure that it really doesn't concern them.. I could tell them but in my confession I would tell them as well that they won't have to worry about seeing me dressed up, that the only reason I'm telling them is so that anyone who thinks they might have something on me won't.. but I wonder if anyone would try to tell any family member what the reaction would be anyway.. I doubt that they would believe or maybe they already know.. I don't know.. anyway.. I know how you feel, and telling has to really be thought out because once the genie is out of the bottle.. if you know what I mean...

[JackieInPA]

I told my mom a coupla months ago. Biggest part of the reason is that she is at my home a lot, both personjally and professionaly (she cleans houses for a living). and she has almost caught me a few times, and i felt bad about NOT telling her. I went through a bad time a few years back and part of the reason was the potential impact of being outed in a court of law (nothing I did, friends custody case) cause a bit of a breakdown...which she never understood the reason that this case caused me so much stress.

She took it really well..very understanding. Asked me why i never told her...she has been religious person for a long time and i was afraid she'd reject me. She told me that was silly she was my mother and would always love me.

She has since walked in on me unexpectedly 2 times so i don't know if it was prophesy or if i just let my guard down.

But all in all i wish i told her years and years ago.

[Miranda09]

I have thought about telling my mom, but in reality, what would be the point? It' a part of my sexuality that is mine alone and not necassry to share, unless I have an SO with whom I can share it with. With that said, if I were to tell her, there might be a surpised look, but then again she is a very supportive and lineral minded mom and knows how much I have sacrificed for the family and what I've gone thru in my life. So she would be supportive and descrete if I asked her to be.

[Karen564]

Before we left she came over to me and said.. You're really happy aren't you? I can see it in your eyes... you sparkle. Yeah mom, I am happy. She kissed me on the cheek and thanked us for coming.

Awwwwwwwwww, That really touched my heart.... And made me shed some tears of joy for you..,,,, So sweet...:hugs:

[kellycan27]

Awwwwwwwwww, That really touched my heart.... And made me shed some tears of joy for you..,,,, So sweet...:hugs:

thank you.. I was shocked..lol

[Karen564]

thank you.. I was shocked..lol

From what you had told me about her before, I'm sure you were VERY shocked...:eek:. but bet you felt So Great after that..:)

Better late than never....
:hugs:

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

She acepts me just fine.....not interested in KNOWING about it, or seeing me, but accepts just fine. I'm actually fine with her stance on it....

Just insecure about her knowing...

I understand the feeling, but you really should not be insecure about letting your mom really know you.

She did not react badly or give you a hard time - why should you feel bad about it? I know not everyone will feel this way, but being a crossdresser is the part myself that I love the most. I don't necessarily tell everyone about it, but I certainly do not feel ashamed about who I am to anyone who finds out. Even if I get laughed at (which does happen), I feel no shame in who I am.

It's just the social stigma you're reacting to, or so I would imagine. Forget about that garbage and take some pride in who you are. :) Sure, I know - easier said than done, but I don't think anyone will ever tell you that taking pride in yourself is a bad thing. In fact, it is a very healthy thing to aim for. :)

Take it easy and try not to over-think things. :hugs:

[LisaM]

Give her time. I told my mother and she did what she always did---she cntinued to love me. Give her time and try to help educate her with some books on the subject.

[BillieJoe]

Once my mother found out she never mentioned it again. She did tell my father and sister and my father confronted me about it and I promised to never do it again. Thats one of the very few times I ever lied to my father. Forty five years later I still regret having to resort to lying.
Three months after they found out I got into police trouble concerning my CDing. They never mentioned the CDing to me but they did mention court dates and psychiatric eveluation dates to me. I think they were deep in denial.

[Charla McBee]

I considered that when I ran into the 90th oppurtunity today to answer the question "are you hiding something?". My habitual no came out even though I'm almost certain she saw my original stash when I was around 14.

In truth, I'm really not right now becuase anything hidden in this room right now is news to me as well! I just want to find it first.

It's sad really that I think she has had an idea for years and even so I will never willingly admit it.

[kynw08]

See I fessed up to mine after getting caught at that age. I wouldn't have said it but she brought that incident up(she swear quite inocently), and I felt incredibly guilty about lying.

Aside from a joke today, she hasn't said a word about it, and I think the matter is dropped. She flat told me to have things shipped to the house(I was lying about why packages might turn up), she just really didn't want to know. This was not even an "it's nasty I don't want to know", it was just....well I don't care what you do in private, it's your thing. I'll be honest with you I've wondered for a while now, especially after a question she asked me the other night, if Mom doesn't have something hidden in her own closet...

I'm fine with that, I really DON'T want her to know anything about it beyond "hey, I do it, it's my thing, that's good enough". Like I said in another thread, I'm happy in my closet, just trying to make it a little roomier and invite a few friends over for a beer :D

[Jennifer Marie P.]

My mom found out years ago when she found dresses and skirts hanging in my closet and found out that I took some of her bras and makeup and understood that I love to dress as a woman and gave me all her support.

[DianneRoberts]

When it comes to my Mom, all I care is that she is happy.

I love her.

So I have to ask myself, " Would her knowing make HER HAPPIER."

The answer is probably not.
Therefore, she doesn't know.

:2c:

[cindym5_04]

Moms love unconditionally.

Not all of them... I speak from experience.

[Charla McBee]

I am certain mine would accept it and maybe even help me out but I still just don't want to involve anyone. I honestly can't beleive I am even here right now as I said in my intro.

I've always been odd by most standards and try to tell myself that everyone has a crazy secret. I just don't want to share mine.

[Katheryn]

When it comes to my Mom, all I care is that she is happy.

I love her.

So I have to ask myself, " Would her knowing make HER HAPPIER."

The answer is probably not.
Therefore, she doesn't know.

:2c:

This is the reason I haven't told my Mom. I told my sister because I knew she could handle it, and in fact was thrilled. But Mom, well, she's in her 80's, her veins aren't what they used to be, and it doesn't matter.

I feel I'm not quite living a lie to her, because I am a good son, so she tells me, and she has no need to know I'm probably a good daughter too.

So many times we tell people things that they don't need to know, and probably don't want to know, because it makes US feel better getting it off our chests. Spouses need to know, because we share our lives with them, all of our lives, all parts of us. I tried hiding this part of me from my wife, and it didn't work out. The coming out was painful, but we got past it. Went swimming at my sister's house Memorial Day weekend in a one piece.

Kate

[Carly D.]

I considered that when I ran into the 90th oppurtunity today to answer the question "are you hiding something?". My habitual no came out even though I'm almost certain she saw my original stash when I was around 14.

In truth, I'm really not right now becuase anything hidden in this room right now is news to me as well! I just want to find it first.

It's sad really that I think she has had an idea for years and even so I will never willingly admit it.



Me as well.. I was eating supper a week or so ago and my mom asked what that lump was on my shoulder and went to see what it was and as it turned out it was a bra strap buckle thing (adjuster) and she didn't say "why are you wearing a bra?" or "are you wearing a bra?" she just walked away without confrontation on the subject.. I'm not sure what I would have said.. I would hope I could be brave enough to answer honestly with a question like that..

[dutch-anita]

I told my mom 1 year ago (she is 70) she does not understand why I crossdress, but she wants to make a nice dress for my and want to now all about it (to much in my idea) and she thinks I have the love for silk, satin etc from her (so I blame her lol)
dad (73) does not want to speak about it so that's fine with me

[tricia_uktv]

After telling my Mother,she phoned up the Samaritans she was so worried. But we aren't harming anybody are we?


For my last birthday she sent me a card with these words:

Today loving wishes
and thoughts come to mind
For a son who was born to be
one of a kind,
Making his way
with a mind of his own,
Making a difference
and making it known
That he has his own hopes
and dreams to pursue -
Which is why, Son,
these wishes are special,
like you.


She now gives me her clothes that don't fit

So give it time, and don't worry! You did right

[Carole Cross]

I have just been speaking to my mum on the phone because, although she has given me her support, she has still found it difficult to adjust. I came out to her and my family in March so it will take time for it to sink in but, if your mother loves you, she will accept it and come to terms with it in time.

Personally, I feel much happier, I talk much more than I used to and I have a positive outlook for the future. I don't feel constantly depressed or ashmed any more. I can finally be myself and not put up barriers to protect me.

I believe, in time, it will make the bonds in my family stronger because we are all supporting each other as I go through my transition. :)

[paulaN]

I told my Mum after the first of the year. I felt I had too because we were having so many personal conversations about me and my recent divorce. She thinks that it is something that I do in private and only at home. She does not know that I go out dressed up. I have not bothered to correct her. She does not understand it(nether do I). She is OK with it and it is nice to be able to talk with out that feeling of (hiding something). My Ma is the best.

[Karen C]

I have told my mom . It usualy gets us in a argument when I talk to her about it. Im leting my hair grow and she hates it . I had told my brother years befor he passed . he was cool with it .We always called him a throwback from the 60's he was the best I miss him alot . My father I will never tell . he would not understand .my mom told me it would kill him .My mom has said when are you gowing to straighten out . but im not gay I .im just a crossdresser .

[Bethany38]

I have'nt told my mother yet, for now she has enough b-s on her plate. I feel I know she would understand, but to explain the irticacities?, of HER life would not be only wrong at this time, but I feel it would not be approved of from her if she ever found out. Suffice it to say she is a true goddess w/far too many issues going on in her life; so for the time being I will not trouble her with my problem. She has always said "she always wanted a gurl"? I wonder how much she wanted one?:heehee: