What if you'd grown up with acceptance?

[battybattybats]

Inspired by just a small part of an article i mention in the media section http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1740022#post1740022 I thought this is a really thought provoking idea.

What would our lives be like if, from the day we were born, transgender was an accepted part of society?

Transgender newsreaders, celebrities, television show hosts and television and movie characters not just in little niches but part of our everyday lives.

TG kids books in the school library, crossdressing kids characters on kids shows not for deception but because its part of who they are, other CD kids openly out in school, not just highschool but primary school.

How would your life be different today?

[jennCD]

Wow,.. well it would be different in every way.... let's see, a fork in my life's road at about the age of 10 or so? Worst think I could think of is that this Forum wouldn't exist now so I'd not have gotten a chance to know you all and share this part of my life.

The best part would be,... well,....


:)
jenn

[Lisa Golightly]

I'd have transitioned decades ago.

[Starling]

...What would our lives be like if, from the day we were born, transgender was an accepted part of society?...How would your life be different today?

I might be yo momma, Batty! Toddle on over here an' gimme a hug, darlin'!

:heehee: Lallie

[Roberta Lynn]

Ok Batty, of course it would be wonderful if Transgendered people were readily accepted into the mainstream of society. What a positive change it would be for so many people.

Your Question, "How would your life be different today?" Did start me thinking.

Since behind ever silver lining there is a dark cloud I can imagine a scenario where I might be worse off.

It's late here but I'm not tired yet so here's my theory

I first started noticing my cross-dressing feelings when I was 11 or 12 years old . This was back in the late 50s. There was no internet or information available too a young kid back then so I was on my own. I didn't know what the heck I was. Just that I was way different from what I knew about the other kids. I think growing up on this information island, having all the self doubt and insecurities, had a big influence on my personality.

Still with me?

So now I'm this sorta shy withdrawn young man, not painfully so, but not a whole lot of self confidence. I didn't date, Oh I liked the girls, just lacked the courage to approach them. I did hang around with a neighbor girl and I think to get me out of her hair she set me up with a blind date.

That blind date is now my wife and has been for the last 42 years. There is no doubt that she is the best thing to happen to me.

So if cross-dressing was accepted in my young life, maybe I would have grown up more self assured, maybe I wouldn't have needed a blind date, maybe I would have never met my wife.

Maybe my life wouldn't be worse, but I don't know how it could be any better.

Ya, I know that's a highly individual situation and not relevant too most people.
But you did ask.:)

[vikki2020]

That would be nice, wouldn't it? I probably would have gone thru life as a girl 90% of the time.Transition a strong possibility.Maybe someday it will happen:daydreaming:

[Miranda09]

Hmmm, I really have no idea how to answer this one. Maybe the only difference, I would no longer be in the closet! That would be a good thing!!! :)

[sterling12]

I don't honestly know where I would have been, or whom I might have become.

But, I'll tell you one thing....I would have had many more choices. That would have been wonderful, just having the ability to choose!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Anna the Dub]

I'd have transitioned decades ago.

I probably would've transitioned as an adolescent, and wouldn't have had years of pain, wouldn't have self harmed and wouldn't have been miserable for most of my life.

[Lisa Golightly]

I probably would've transitioned as an adolescent, and wouldn't have had years of pain, wouldn't have self harmed and wouldn't have been miserable for most of my life.

Awwwwww... I self-harmed too :hugs: x

[GaleWarning]

Batty, we cannot change history. We are the people we are today, because of our past experiences.
People who grew up in the 50s and 60s were strongly influenced by both the feminine style of dress which was the norm back then, and by the strong sense of homophobia which then prevailed.
The Beatles came along and preached a message of love. Other pop groups and individuals such as Kiss and Boy George (and many others) raised the profile of CDing.
Feminism and gay rights activists played their part in our society being as it is today; on the verge of being more open and accepting of sexual diversity.
People born today are reaping the benefits of our struggles.
They will, hopefully, not need to struggle, as we did, with issues of guilt and acceptance. They will grow up to be very different from us.
But they will have their own crosses to bear.

So to answer your question, I would be a very different person, with a very different set of problems to contend with. My phobias would simply be different.

[battybattybats]

Batty, we cannot change history. We are the people we are today, because of our past experiences.

Of course we can't change the past, but it's worth imagining what it would be like if it were different because our children, nephews, neices, grandchildren etc will grow up in the world we make for them to inhabit.


People born today are reaping the benefits of our struggles.

Absolutely. And it's worth imagining what world our struggles could produce by imagining what a world with total TG acceptance would be like.


They will, hopefully, not need to struggle, as we did, with issues of guilt and acceptance. They will grow up to be very different from us.
But they will have their own crosses to bear.

Surely those would be lighter crosses if we make them lighter and heavier if we make them heavier?


So to answer your question, I would be a very different person, with a very different set of problems to contend with. My phobias would simply be different.

Not every difference is equal. Not every problem is relative. The problems of a child with a mild learning difficulty in Sweden for example cannot be compared as being as bad as the problems of a forced-child-soldier in Sudan.

Imagine for a moment...

Imagine if you got to choice barbie dolls, g.i. joe or both at christmas.
Imagine if it was ok to wear or to try on a skirt any time in your life.
Imagine if their were CD role-models around you in your entire life.
Imagine if your parents could have taken you to get your ears pierced.
Imagine if you could have worn a dress to the prom/formal.
Imagine if you could have dated in a dress. Even married in a wedding gown.
Imagine if their was no risk to your job, your friendships, your family relationships from coming out.
Imagine if there were no closet, no hiding, no hate shame guilt fear hostility of any sort.
Imagine if your country had a TG leader as President/Prime Minister etc.

I could have done without the bullying I faced for being effeminate. It would have been great to be able to have my ears pierced 20 years ago. To have the Barbie, Rainbow Brite and She-Ra toys to go alongside my Transformers and He-Man toys. To have been able to wear the girls uniform some days and boys others. I didnt go to any of the school dances, but if things were different I likely would have.

I never came out to any of my Grandparents or my Great Aunt or my Uncle who have all passed on, if I could have had that time with them as all of me it would have been wonderful. The young English Teacher who encouraged me at school and who died of breast cancer still in her 20's.. I would have liked to have had the opportunity to have my femininity not kept secret and hidden from those meaningful relationships.

To have been able to enjoy the most out of my youth...

Then I think of my young cousin whose somewhat effeminate, who has worn a dress at least once. When I think of all the CDs that must be going through school now and those yet to follow.

I know I'm making the world better for them, making their cross lighter. That gives meaning to my own suffering and my efforts. Makes it more worthwhile.

[GaleWarning]

[QUOTE=battybattybats;1740217]Imagine for a moment...

Imagine if you got to choice barbie dolls, g.i. joe or both at christmas.
Imagine if it was ok to wear or to try on a skirt any time in your life.
Imagine if their were CD role-models around you in your entire life.
Imagine if your parents could have taken you to get your ears pierced.
Imagine if you could have worn a dress to the prom/formal.
Imagine if you could have dated in a dress. Even married in a wedding gown.
Imagine if their was no risk to your job, your friendships, your family relationships from coming out.
Imagine if there were no closet, no hiding, no hate shame guilt fear hostility of any sort.
Imagine if your country had a TG leader as President/Prime Minister etc.QUOTE]


Ok, Batty ... if all of the above were to take place and have the wonderous outcome you wish to imagine ... the child would grow up having no issues which were related to transgenderism.

The child still grows up in a world where selfishness is considered more desirable a trait than a sense of community.
Still grows up believing that he/she has rights and no responsibilities.
Still grows up in a world where life is cheap, abortions are available on demand.
Still grows up in a world where sexuality is flaunted on TV, pornography is freely available.
Still grows up in a world where TV games create a false illusion that death is not final.
Still grows up in a world where single-parent families and marital strife is the norm.
Still grows up craving love and affection, with no guarantee that they will feel loved.
Still grows up in a world where the education system is geared to dumbing down the masses, and ... grows up with a false sense that failure is impossible.
Still grows up in a world where the rich grow richer and the poor grow poorer.
....

My point being, that the child will have other issues to deal with if transgenderism was no longer a major issue.

Let's see where we have come ...
Apartheid is dead, the US has a black president, women are breaking down the glass ceiling, TG people have already been elected to public office.

But ... rap music reminds us that the youth is still disaffected.
School shootings in the US tell us that young people struggle to deal with anger.
Youth suicide is a major problem because schools actively discourage students from confiding in their parents when they fall pregnant or have a fall-out with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Child abuse is rife, the internet has made the threat of paedophilia much greater.
Young children are more obese than we were, because they do not execise as much as we did.
Anorexia is a problem.
...

We have no way of knowing what issues will consume the young people of today, but we can be certain that they will occur. The world will never be idyllic, at least, not this side of eternity.

[battybattybats]

Ok, Batty ... if all of the above were to take place and have the wonderous outcome you wish to imagine ... the child would grow up having no issues which were related to transgenderism.

The child still grows up in a world where selfishness is considered more desirable a trait than a sense of community.

Depends on a lot. I know plenty of people with a sense of community.
Maybe I just know the accidents though who slipped through the cracks.. strange that they are mostly Goths if that's the case though. However this can be addressed.


Still grows up believing that he/she has rights and no responsibilities.

Again i know exceptions though admittedly they may be exceptional. And this too can be addressed. Simply respecting others rights is most of our responsibilites.


Still grows up in a world where life is cheap, abortions are available on demand.

I suggest you look at the harm done when ideology is placed ahead of facts and preventing comprehensive sex-education and the results on both abortion rates, teen pregnancy, std infection rates and the like. It's not like they haven't studied the subject to death and back.


Still grows up in a world where sexuality is flaunted on TV, pornography is freely available.

And rape goes down. Yes. More porn = less rape. What's better, a sex-positive society where there is less rape or a sex-negative one with more rape? Here's one of the studies http://www.law.stanford.edu/display/images/dynamic/events_media/Kendall%20cover%20+%20paper.pdf

Personally as a lot of close friends, men and women, have been raped, including men raped by women, I'd rather the less rape option. So bring on the freely available porn with its result of much less rape.


Still grows up in a world where TV games create a false illusion that death is not final.

Arguments about metaphysics, theology, scientific methodology for measuring 'near-death-experiences' and other nothions in the field of parapsychology etc aside I'm pretty sure that problem existed before tv, before comic books, before radio and cinema, before the penny-dreadful or the gothic novel or any of the other infamous corruptive influences. Got any evidence the poblem is actually increasing?

http://www.pbs.org/kcts/videogamerevolution/impact/myths.html

In fact I suggest you stare hard at the graphs in this article! http://www.gamerevolution.com/features/violence_and_videogames

Porn reduces sexual assault, violent video-games reduces violent crimes... youth violence down.. the real world is very different to how people like to think of it isn't it? So forgive me for wanting violent videogames to be more common but I like my likelihood of being murderd to be lower not higher thankyou.


Still grows up in a world where single-parent families and marital strife is the norm.

Now that I haven't looked into much but when i see a woman or man able to get their kids away from a domesticly violent parent i smile. And I'm not sure that pre-womens equality marriages were all as good as people pretended they were.


Still grows up craving love and affection, with no guarantee that they will feel loved.

Our increasingly excessive work hours thanks to our entropy-increasing anti-efficiency system (darwinian competition works from a solar economy, our resources are a closed system) are i expect the primary cause of that.


Still grows up in a world where the education system is geared to dumbing down the masses, and

Well they had Socrates executed for trying the alternative


... grows up with a false sense that failure is impossible.

They do? Even the ones that can't get through every level of every videogame?


Still grows up in a world where the rich grow richer and the poor grow poorer.
....

But that's the way the modern economic system was designed.


My point being, that the child will have other issues to deal with if transgenderism was no longer a major issue.

Are but they have those issues anyway + experiencing transphobia. One less issue, especially a major cause of suicide and depression issue is less to deal with.


But ... rap music reminds us that the youth is still disaffected.

Rap is comercialised formula. And before it there was punk, before it rock and roll, before it there was Jazz, before that there was Opera.... all great corruptors of the youth etc. The Waltz was the dirty-dancing of it's day.


School shootings in the US tell us that young people struggle to deal with anger.

Or do they tend to be the victims of bullying who aren't good with their fists fighting back... and those struggling with internalised issues.


Youth suicide is a major problem

Yes.


because schools actively discourage students from confiding in their parents when they fall pregnant or have a fall-out with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

You know what the TG youth suicide rate is? Attempted it's estimated at 50% http://www.unhcc.unh.edu/resources/glbt_suicide.html and GLB is 2-3 times the straight rate.


Child abuse is rife, the internet has made the threat of paedophilia much greater.

Really? Last I heard the actual risk had not increased, only public discussion of the crime and that the main perpetrator is still a family member, not a stranger grabbing a kid off the street or person online. Can you cite a good source for this?


Young children are more obese than we were, because they do not execise as much as we did.

Really? I heard childrens activity levels were actually rather comparative to previous generations. I'd look to dietary changes if I were you,http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090508/ts_alt_afp/healthscienceobesityusdiet
oh and the evidence of an infection that results in increased fat storage. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7851031.stm


Anorexia is a problem.

Yes, increasingly in boys as well as girls.


We have no way of knowing what issues will consume the young people of today, but we can be certain that they will occur. The world will never be idyllic, at least, not this side of eternity.

But it could be an aweful lot better, and it's within our power to make it so is it not?

[foxyjj111]

well as a male i love dressing in different fasions and styles simply based on my mood, and of course the occasion. i have never fit into a catagory such as goth, jock, prep or what have you, but can expertly dress, and be, the part of any group i wish. SO, i suppose i would have a much more extensive wardrobe as i would need to dress as jessica when the mood so strikes. :daydreaming:

[MJ]

I'd have transitioned decades ago.


I probably would've transitioned as an adolescent, and wouldn't have had years of pain, wouldn't have self harmed and wouldn't have been miserable for most of my life.


Awwwwww... I self-harmed too :hugs: x


like Lisa i would have transitioned buy age 21 for sure. life would be wayyyyy different than what i have now :straightface:

[TGMarla]

I think it far more likely that I'd have transitioned. However, if that had not happened, I would have crossdressed openly all my life, and would likely wear feminine clothing much, if not all of the time. But it is also possible that if the choice to wear whatever I want had been there from the beginning, wearing femme attire would not have the novelty to me that it does now, so it's really hard to say whether I'd have such a preference for it as I do with things the way they are. I mean, acceptance from the very start by the entire society at large would literally change everything. It wouldn't even be crossdressing any more. It would simply be a clothing option complete with prosthetics, assuming that the prosthetics were equally acceptable.

[battybattybats]

I mean, acceptance from the very start by the entire society at large would literally change everything. It wouldn't even be crossdressing any more. It would simply be a clothing option complete with prosthetics, assuming that the prosthetics were equally acceptable.

Would it?

If TGness is genetic then would we really dissolve into the general population?

Sure most women have at least one pair of pants, but a FtM still stands out, a butch still stands out. Noy that they have full acceptance either.

[TGMarla]

But we don't really know if it's genetic or whether it's a culmination of one's own experiences and preferences. Certainly, many of us have an inherent predisposition, but there are likely many triggering circumstances.

So in this simulation, TG is not something that is "normal", it's just accepted? It's not just clothing, but full female emulation that is accepted? Okay. But if TG is accepted, I'm betting that a helluva lot more males would drop the macho s**t attitudes, and display many more feminine characteristics on an everyday level. Wouldn't that be something!?

I'd be fully cross-gendered then, and still, would likely have transitioned years ago.

[Wendy me]

omg one wonders and who has not dreamed about this??? .. you know at 50 somethings years old now a lot might be different if acceptance for one's gender issues was the norm. ....

would i have transitioned ???? could have ... would it be such a struggle to be who you are if acceptance was the norm?????... the world is changing thats for sure look at what was not talked ab ought let alone accepted not so long ago .........

i think we as humans are not done evolving ... what dose that mean?? ... simple our body's are yet always changing as are our minds ... one day i believe nothing will shock or disturb people as a whole and acceptance will be the norm .....

for right now were i am in my life i have achieved the best acceptance that one could ever ask .... i accept me as me with all my little quirks .......

[PretzelGirl]

There are many ways to go with this.

I think that I would be a bit different than those that answered here already. I dabbled in trying things on throughout my life but never a lot at one time. I would believe that even with acceptance, I would have gotten to where I am now in roughly the same boat, just a few years into crossdressing regularly at an (ahem) advanced age.

So I don't think transitioning would have been a possibility for me in this alternate reality. What it may have meant for me is just an ease of living at this point. I could go out dressed and any of the definitions of passing would no longer apply because everyone is accepted. I wouldn't have concerns about the impact on my job, family, or friendships. I would just be another person in the midst of everyone.

It would be interesting on how it would affect some people mentally. Imagine the stress gone and the acceptance making life easier. I would also suppose that there are some that wouldn't dress at all as the "forbidden fruit" aspect would no longer be there.

[Nicki B]

Batty, we cannot change history.

Of course not. But we can determine the future, by our actions. Isn't that the real point of this thread?

[SirTrey]

Pondering this, the first few things that came to MY mind were....
1) I would have known what was different about Me (which translated as a child to "wrong with Me") and would not have spent a good deal of My childhood fighting desperately to hide My "dirty little secret".

2) One of My most vivid and painful memories was My seventh grade dance, where it really hit home for Me....I can still feel the ache in My chest when I think about it....I remember feeling incredibly awkward about My body and wondering why I couldn't stand to be looked at by boys in "that way"....Feeling like I wanted to be a boy dating girls....Not a lesbian....a boy dating girls....and there is a very big difference between the two....I had a friend who shoved her brother at Me and said, "You said you like her, ask her to dance"....He and I were equally uncomfortable and miserable at that point, but for different reasons....He was shy and I was trans....we danced and I remember feeling SO out of place and just WRONG....and I had no idea why....No information back then, just nothing....That would not have happened if we were accepted by society as just another minority.

3) I would probably not have been kicked out of My family for being trans if I had grown up with trans acceptance....As it stands now, I have not seen My mother, grandmother (whose favorite I used to be), brother, sister, aunts, cousins, NO ONE in My family, for over a year....and they don't want to see Me....They all feel that they "cannot stand to see Me like this" and that I cannot expect them to have to accept the social consequences of having someone like Me in their family (ie: they are embarrassed and ashamed).

4) I would have been able to transition much earlier and would not have to live with the profound sense of sadness that I carry around for all of the time that I wasted unable to just be Myself. So much time, just gone.

In summary, I would have been a much healthier, happier person because a lot of the things that torture Me now would not have had to happen. I would not have to be out there now trying to find a job with a beard and a female ID, which I cannot change until I have chest surgery....and even then, being born in Ohio, I can maybe change My driver's license, but not My birth certificate (Ohio is one of three states that does not allow you to change it for any reason, including gender)....The one bright spot is that T does help Me to numb a lot of this out....not all, certainly, but some....I wish Batty's world WAS the reality....Maybe I wouldn't have all of this pain TO numb out.

[DianneRoberts]

It would be no different for a man to wear a miniskirt, breastforms, and heels
than for a woman to wear pants, be braless, and wear comfortable shoes.

What went wrong ?

:brolleyes:

[Glenda]

I definitely would have been one who wore dresses and skirts as well as pants. I pretty much accepted the two traditional roles and was extremely happy growing up as a boy. But if it had been normal for a boy to wear girl clothes and wear his hair in locks.......that would so have been me!

[battybattybats]

I wish Batty's world WAS the reality....Maybe I wouldn't have all of this pain TO numb out.

Sucks to here about your family. That happened with an MtF friend of mine locally too. Maybe though we can all start to build that world. Help the next generation. The ultimate revenge perhaps might be if they become embarassed and shamed in the future for how they treated you now?


It would be no different for a man to wear a miniskirt, breastforms, and heels
than for a woman to wear pants, be braless, and wear comfortable shoes.

What went wrong ?

:brolleyes:

Good point. Many indiginous cultures were TG accepting, a handful still are. Transphobia got taught. TG people were driven into the closet with violence and laws. We were not always there. In some countrires it's been just a couple centuries.

[Shelly Preston]

What if you'd grown with acceptance ?

Well I guess if I had lived in Tonga I would have lived with acceptance


Since Tonga seems to be accepting I think that would be the obvious place to look for the answer

My guess is I would be happier choosing to wear anything I wished but I would most likely have other issues

[Carly D.]

HMMM talk about having the rug pulled out from under you.. well if this were acceptable behavior from day one, I'm thinking that there would have had to be a different distraction of some sort.. if I were able to dress this way and it were fine with everyone then what else is there?? but truth be told I think it would really be different.. I've never even dreamed of this type of "what if" before.. very good thread start there.. I might have to think this one over and repost my response..

[sometimes_miss]

I grew up believing that I was supposed to be a girl. I didn't get to puberty till very late, and didn't reach my adult height until I was almost 21. So, if it happened today, I probably would have wound up TS, because even at a young age, I could figure out what answers to give to people to get what I wanted, and I thought that what I wanted was to be a girl. Would that have been a mistake? We'll never know. Would I have been happier as a woman? Again, we'll never know. Seeing that I'm only attracted to men, and mtf TS women aren't what GG's are looking for, I'd probably be just as alone as I am now.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

...How would your life be different today?

I would have still had my troubles in life, although more of the general troubles that most people face in life.

Without any doubt, I would have been far more successful and at a much younger age. Without so many years wasted trying to figure out who and what I am and without all the deep depression and self-hatred that consumed most of my life, I would have been able to really explore my talents and move forward in life without worrying about people finding out about me. I would have gone for the big things rather than hide from the world and wallow in my own depression.

There would have been no suicide attempts or all those years of therapy. I would (more than likely) not have been so socially retarded in my younger years because I felt like such an outcast for being who I am. My dating life might have been a LOT healthier than what it was for years.

I'm sure I would have been far more outgoing, self-confident, and made something great of myself a long, long time ago.

However as reality goes... I'm just now starting to find my stride in life. I'm not exactly in my physical prime or even close there to. Too bad all that time had to be senselessly wasted. At least I found (and accepted) myself though... so many people like us never do.

[Sophie_C]

Inspired by just a small part of an article i mention in the media section http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1740022#post1740022 I thought this is a really thought provoking idea.

What would our lives be like if, from the day we were born, transgender was an accepted part of society?

Transgender newsreaders, celebrities, television show hosts and television and movie characters not just in little niches but part of our everyday lives.

TG kids books in the school library, crossdressing kids characters on kids shows not for deception but because its part of who they are, other CD kids openly out in school, not just highschool but primary school.

How would your life be different today?

I would have went on blockers / HRT at age 14 (right before HS), and likely had surgery at 16-18. I have been fully self-aware of this since I was 12 or so.

To say my life would have been different is an understatement.

I really don't like pondering this thread in detail since it is REALLY depressing.

[5150 Girl]

If society were accepting of such things, i would have come out in kindergarden!!!

[Satrana]

Without any doubt, I would have been far more successful and at a much younger age. Without so many years wasted trying to figure out who and what I am and without all the deep depression and self-hatred that consumed most of my life, I would have been able to really explore my talents and move forward in life without worrying about people finding out about me. I would have gone for the big things rather than hide from the world and wallow in my own depression.

I'm sure I would have been far more outgoing, self-confident, and made something great of myself a long, long time ago.


Pretty much what I was thinking. I could have got on with my life without having this guilt and shame hanging over my head, affecting all the decisions I have made and relationships I have developed.

I would have turned out to be quite a different person, more outgoing, more confident, more involved, more mainstream. Not all of this is beneficial of course. Being introspective has brought me advantages and understanding that I would have probably lacked in this alternative universe. Of course I lack the ability to know what skills and insight I would now have as a more social individual.

I personally feel the real curse of CDing is the wasted years. Being a teenager and 20-something is supposed to be the best years of your life but for me it was mostly horrible. My feelings left me isolated and unable to feel happy functioning in a socially acceptable manner. Every morning I woke up facing a day where I would be in disguise unable to communicate with anyone else my true feelings and thoughts. I was emotionally imprisoned and I actively avoided social gatherings - parties were a big no-no because my inadequacies would be fully exposed. I had zero confidence approaching girls and besides I did not think it far to impose my weirdness on another person. This was my burden to bear all the way to the grave.

I am damaged goods - as damaged as anyone else who had something traumatic happen to them. Internalized transphobia ruined my youth. But I have subsequently learned to overcome these feelings and embrace life to a greater extent than others appear capable of. I believe surviving the trials of life make you a better person and so I am happy now despite having to sacrifice so much of my youth.

In contrast many of my colleagues of similar age seem to be going in the opposite direction. Having enjoyed their youth, they now seem to be full of self doubt and unhappiness. As in everything in life there are ups and downs. I would have been a different person, living a different life with different friends and interests. Would I be a better person, well that is the question.....

[SpikeEnigmaSlash]

Man, I would have maybe legally changed my name.. :)

too bad, I still get called by my name mother and father gave me... sighs:..and by everyone that isnt in this group here, or my other online friends/family..

[Pattie O]

I agree with Marla.It would probably not be crossdressing anymore as it would be seen as "normal"(whatever that is).So I suppose I would just get on with my normal life and wear pretty clothes and underwear and play netball instead of football,wear pants to work(just like most women) and go out dressed to the nines and dance the night away!

:daydreaming::battingeyelashes:Pattie

[Carin]

As my ex and I brought children into our home and adopted them, we wished that the need did not exist. Some of the children that now call me Dad would not even know me. Those children are a blessing in my life, but of course I would rather that the circumstances that brought them to us were not so. Yes, there are some things that would make life different and better.

I lived in transgender ignorance in my early years. Had there been openness and transgender role models I would most certainly have recognized the correlation to myself. I believe that I limped through most of my years on two cylinders so to speak. Quiet, stoic, reserved, shy. I like the term two-spirit. Using that concept, I have lived most of my life with one of those spirits repressed so deep in the subconscious. What a waste! I believe that I would have identified as Transgender in my early teen years, and lived the last 30+ years as such. I would still have faces challenges, but quite possibly been better equipped by having a more full presence to deal with those. I would not have spent the last 15 years inventing the same wheel by myself that all of you were inventing at the same time, by yourselves. I would not be questioning today, after all this thinking, how much did I get right and how much is still unknown.

But I will not dwell on what might have been. When I go out and about now, sometimes I get that sense of uneasiness about being out. I remind myself that I need to forge ahead so that future generations will hot have to go through that. What we dream of now, some day will be taken for granted, as long as we make it so.

Just like adoption, discrimination is one of those things that we all would be just fine to live without.

And Karren Hutton would be an ice-hockey superstar.

[Charla McBee]

I probably would have joined the handful of guys that actually cross-dressed in school for Halloween every year in high school but that would be about it. Even in accepting cultures, I think you still end up being something "other" depending on the degree of your gender-bending.

[gender_blender]

Other than possessing considerably less self-hatred growing up, I probably would have requested to start hormones during my adolescence rather than my teens. An obvious trend would also be fewer closet cases and late-bloomers.

[cindym5_04]

I didn't read nearly all of the posts or articles, but with the original question posed of "what would it have been like if there had been more acceptance", I probably would have dressed a lot more and have been a completely different person than I am today. Chances are, I would not have met or have been around the same people that I encountered as my life has been. A very negative point is that I probably would not have met the woman that I've married. If there had been more acceptance, I probably would have felt a lot better about myself for a lot longer of a period of time.

[Shauna marie]

Wouldn't that be a lovely world.

[Emma England]

Social acceptance may mean this forum would cease to exist, as no one would need to search for advice.

Well, the forum could still be run as a fashion one though.

[Trip_rockcity]

I have a few, very close friends that have had such a privalage.. they are the most awsume people iv ever met....

[Nicki B]

And Karren Hutton would be an ice-hockey superstar.

Surely, she is...

[kathrynjanos]

I think the answer to that question is self-evident. But yes, I think that many of us would've benefited from acceptance from society and our circles. It directly impacts how we accept ourselves, and how many of us have had major issues doing just that?

[Carly D.]

HMMM talk about having the rug pulled out from under you.. well if this were acceptable behavior from day one, I'm thinking that there would have had to be a different distraction of some sort.. if I were able to dress this way and it were fine with everyone then what else is there?? but truth be told I think it would really be different.. I've never even dreamed of this type of "what if" before.. very good thread start there.. I might have to think this one over and repost my response..

WELL HERE IS MY RESPONSE:: NO... let me go deeper here.. I am kinda glad things are the way they are.. would I want to see what that alternate existence were like? sure, who hasn't said I wonder what it would be like to be a girl growing up.. but no, I think I rather like the closeted dressing I get to do.. and I know it was more a question of what if all clothes were worn by whoever wants to wear whatever.. I would like that feeling of trying to wear whatever I want to wear.. that would be great and have the acceptance of the world as a whole would be great, but.. you knew there had to be a but in there.. but I hated and still do hate to wear dress up clothes (male) and think that this would be true of the female clothing that everyone can wear now (alternate existence)...

[CutieJulie]

prolly would be full time/already transitioned.. have some real friends and possibly a girl friend.

[Starling]

Like many here, I probably would have transitioned as a kid. At least it would have given me time for a little rest. I don't think anyone yet has mentioned how just plain exhausting it is to lead a double life! How many of us have burned the candle at both ends our entire lives, just to be able to indulge in the things it takes to stay sane while playing the man game?

Speaking of double lives, what keeps Clark Kent from being Superman 24/7? Fear of losing his job at the Daily Planet? Obviously not, but...what if Clark Kent ducked into his phonebooth and came out as Superwoman? How would he conceal that super beard shadow? Would his X-ray vision make his eyeliner run? Would Lois reject him? Would he only be able to perform superhuman feats of strength in TG-friendly venues? Worst of all, would he fall for the old Kryptonite earrings trick?

I'd like to find out.

:heehee: Lallie

[mattie75]

I agree with most of you. I probably would have transitioned back in high school if I knew I would be accepted and there were no consequences. Boy what a different life I'd probably have at this time.

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

That would be nice, wouldn't it? I probably would have gone thru life as a girl 90% of the time.Transition a strong possibility.Maybe someday it will happen:daydreaming:

I hear that perspective a lot in these sort of posts, but wouldn't that negate the desire to transition in a huge percentage of people? I mean, in the absence of social stigma, sufficiently intense body dimorphic issues would be very unlikely to justify surgery. Also, in the absence of a socially assigned gender role, social transition would be moot.

[Satrana]

I agree Bridget, the statements about transitioning are based upon the feelings we inherit from living in the actual world. In this alternative universe the notion of transitioning would never enter our minds because we would have grown up with the absolute right to express our femininity so it would be taken for granted. Juts like women wear jeans without a moments thought. Transgenderness would only be discussed within the transsexual community.

[Sarah Doepner]

I probably would have been able to focus on all those other issues of inadequacy in my life. Acceptance of self decided gender identity, crossdressing or the breakdown of the fashion barriers between clothing styles wouldn't have changed a few basic things about our world. There would still be the same level of competition throughout society. There probably would be a wider variety of cliques to be excluded from during high school and more advertising to address the multiple options. There would have been a totally different fashion industry than we know today with all sorts of pretties for the GM as well as the GG. I would have still grown up in a lower middle class family with poor insurance and wouldn't have been able to afford to transition, even if I'd wanted to. I probably wouldn't have done it anyway, but I wonder who among my friends would have.

Basically, I would have been a teenager troubled in multiple gender environments rather than in just one. I'm sooooo glad I have my teen and young adult years behind me, far behind me.

All that being said, it would have been a much improved world, at least on that front.

[April Simmons]

I think I would have started living as a girl at age 11 or 12, perhaps earlier.

Darn, I missed the prom.

April