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MonikaW
06-01-2009, 04:10 PM
Lately, I’ve decided to be more open about being a crossdresser. Meaning, that while I have been out and about as Monika for years quite comfortably, in the past I’ve kept Monika separate from my male-self in most situations. For example, as Monika I’ve avoided many of my neighborhood grocery stores and such because they know my male-self as a regular customer. Well several weeks ago, I decided so what. I now will go into the local shops knowing that they will know me. I really don’t like big-box supermarkets, so I have a tendency to avoid them when I can.

It’s been good. I’ve been letting my hair grow and haven’t worn a wig at all this year. A few weeks ago I went to one local shop which I often frequent. There is a young 20-something sales girl there that I often chat with when ringing up my purchases. Well, I walk in a few weeks ago as Monika and go up to her to pay. She had this stunned look on her face. I had to stand in line, and she saw me in line. She was quite surprised and kept looking my way. I can tell she even got a bit flustered. When it was my turn to pay, she was just asking if I found everything I needed, how was I doing, etc. She was obviously not going to mention what was really on her mind. So I just simply said, I guess I look different today. She laughed a little and said yes. She said I looked nice. The other clerk standing next to her said I looked gorgeous (bless her heart). Well she has since seen me many times as Monika. We chat as often as before. She loved my purse today and was talking about that.

Also today, I decided to go to a local grocery shop where I am well known as a guy. I walk in and pick up my things. The owner at first asks about my brother. I tell her that it is me. She says that I looked similar to my male-self but just didn’t realize that it was in fact me. She really loved my look. She told me that I was pretty (bless her heart too) and complimented me on my outfit, my manicure, etc. She liked the fact that some days I’m a guy and others a woman.

In the past few weeks, I’ve also been to the bank several times as Monika where it is obvious when I present my papers with my male name that I am crossdressed. Everyone is just nice and friendly.

I’ve really reached a place where I am really comfortable with myself. While there are some parts of my life that need to be kept separate, such as the workplace, for the most part I am unconcerned about people knowing all about me. I used to stress more about passing and being read. Though I know I pass well for the most part, I don’t really care if people see me as a crossdresser. Even when people know, I get treated well.

Sorry for the long post. I just thought I’d share with you all a new level of comfort that I am feeling about myself.

Lorileah
06-01-2009, 04:18 PM
Great for Monika! Little steps like this make the world better for us all. And as yo have noticed the world goes on. :)

AllieSF
06-01-2009, 04:22 PM
Monika,

Thanks for the nice post. I guess there are a lot of us that would like to do that too. Kind of a "mix and match" approach to dressing and presenting oursleves to others, including those that know us. I am a happy person in both modes and I guess my future goal would be to live and dress like I want when I want without the worries and anxieties of meeting up with someone who may know me.

The key word and motivator in your post is the "self-acceptance". If we are happy with ourselves, we have more personal confidence and can better deal with other issues. Thanks again for sharing your experiences.

Alice B
06-01-2009, 04:33 PM
That is really great and I admire you for your strength. Except for my wife and a couple of close personal female friends I'm still in the closet, but it's a big one. I have now come out to my son and daughter in law with total acceptance. Maybe more of the family soon as they are all close and talk to one another. Plus I think they are all very open minded. Then, if my wife can accept it I'll be able to go out openly. At present it is only when my wife is out of town and that is only once or twice a year.

Kathi Lake
06-01-2009, 06:51 PM
Monika, way to go! It's that comfort level we strive for.

I did the same thing a month or so ago. I went to the bank in girl mode, had no problems, and came back the next week in guy mode. As I gave her my ID the second time, I said "At least this time, my picture matches a little better." She looked flustered a bit and said, "That was you? Were you the girl in the skinny jeans? All we could talk about is how cute you looked. (they also said that one of the guys didn't hear me, but definitely saw me and thought I looked hot. Poor boy - to need bifocals at such a young age :) They still giggle at him for not knowing)" I've been back a few times and they all say I need to give up the guy clothes and go girl full time. No thanks. I, like you Monika, enjoy going out and feeling the acceptance that we're finally getting. I'm sure that like you, it is my attitude that makes the difference.

Kathi

VeronicaMoonlit
06-01-2009, 07:27 PM
Sorry for the long post. I just thought I’d share with you all a new level of comfort that I am feeling about myself.

And thank you very much for posting such an inspirational post.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.