Carin
06-02-2009, 07:45 PM
There is an older retired couple living across the street. We don't hang out, but have had many pleasant interactions in the past. None however since I started dressing full time. I avoided them, just because i was not sure (read fear) of their reaction.
So today, I was watching them out the window. He was having a really hard time backing a trailer onto their driveway. I had to go pick up my son from school, and when I got back he was still struggling with it. Well, time to bite the bullet. I crossed the street looking like this and tell them I can help, (you can see the trailer back there):
90058
They were appreciative and grateful as I got into their car and backed the trailer into the driveway and unhitched it from the car. There was no mention of my attire, so I opened the discussion, telling them that I am transgendered. It was only fair. They were very non-judgemental. The wife disappeared for a moment to get something and when she returned asked "When did I begin to feel 'that way'. Was it when I was very young?". Her openness to conversation about it - and on point too - was a bit of a surprise. She went on to say that she had a cousin who was 'like that', though he was a performer and also that he was gay, a gentle way of acknowledging that she knew the difference and was not stereotyping. He had passed away (HIV came to mind but I did not pursue it). Then she asked me if I went to the Gay Marriage support rallies - I did last week actually. I suspect that her cousin's situation was a tragic story that had an impact on her.
The bottom line was that they were informed citizens appreciative of my help, and were able to empathise to some extent with the circumstances of being transgendered, even if it was hard for her to use the words (labels have value). They both wished me well.
While it is true that we fear some peoples reactions because some people do have negative reactions, there is no way to know the wonderful supportive people out there until we bite the bullet and put ourselves out there. And with one exception (a daughter's boyfriend who has respect issues, even towards her), I have incurred no direct or indirect negative reactions from anyone.
Marching on - transgendered and proud!
So today, I was watching them out the window. He was having a really hard time backing a trailer onto their driveway. I had to go pick up my son from school, and when I got back he was still struggling with it. Well, time to bite the bullet. I crossed the street looking like this and tell them I can help, (you can see the trailer back there):
90058
They were appreciative and grateful as I got into their car and backed the trailer into the driveway and unhitched it from the car. There was no mention of my attire, so I opened the discussion, telling them that I am transgendered. It was only fair. They were very non-judgemental. The wife disappeared for a moment to get something and when she returned asked "When did I begin to feel 'that way'. Was it when I was very young?". Her openness to conversation about it - and on point too - was a bit of a surprise. She went on to say that she had a cousin who was 'like that', though he was a performer and also that he was gay, a gentle way of acknowledging that she knew the difference and was not stereotyping. He had passed away (HIV came to mind but I did not pursue it). Then she asked me if I went to the Gay Marriage support rallies - I did last week actually. I suspect that her cousin's situation was a tragic story that had an impact on her.
The bottom line was that they were informed citizens appreciative of my help, and were able to empathise to some extent with the circumstances of being transgendered, even if it was hard for her to use the words (labels have value). They both wished me well.
While it is true that we fear some peoples reactions because some people do have negative reactions, there is no way to know the wonderful supportive people out there until we bite the bullet and put ourselves out there. And with one exception (a daughter's boyfriend who has respect issues, even towards her), I have incurred no direct or indirect negative reactions from anyone.
Marching on - transgendered and proud!