What was can loved ones protect their families by helping on TG issues?

[battybattybats]

Going from ReineD's post in another thread I thought it worthwhile bringing up the idea of what loved ones can do to help protect their families from the consequences of societies issues with TG and maybe themselves and their CD's acceptance of TG.

So to start with I'll start with ENDA, an act in the USA to protect people from being fired. In much of the USA if a CD is accidentally outted they can be fired, hurting the whole family badly especially these days.

There's a thread on it specifically http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=108486 and ReineD suggested:


The ENDA suggestion was good, but it was buried under so many lengthy posts, many links, and quotations, it was hard to isolate a very simple thing anyone can do to help. And I quote from: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=187035380507


***Here is what we are asking you to do***

Please contact your US Representative by calling the U.S. Capitol at 202-224-3121. Give the operator your zip code and ask for your Representative. Ask your Rep's office whether he or she has a position on an inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and explain that means both sexual orientation and gender identity. Ask whether the position is definitely yes, probably yes, undecided, probably no or definitely no. Then, post it on the Wall and it will be placed on the spreadsheets listed below in the links section.

Next, do the same for your Senators by calling the same telephone number.

Our next steps after this will be to contact those in the undecided columns and help to educate them about the importance of an inclusive ENDA (The Employment Non-Discrimination Act).


Well that's one.

What other ways can loved ones help to protect their families on TG issues?

[sandra-leigh]

I joined the Inclusive ENDA facebook group, and I received that message. I wrote back to them pointing out that it made the assumption that group members were all from places that have congressmen, and I pointed out that IMHO it will be very difficult to pass ENDA in isolation in the USA without being able to point to practices in other countries. I received a brief reply asking what I suggested, to which I responded. Unfortunately facebook is not good software with which to conduct structured discussions, so to implement my suggestion will require that they move beyond a single facebook group... and they also need to clarify that they have the resources to -do- something with (potentially) large amounts of material (the current facebook group is very much a faceless central organization telling people what to do, rather than an invitation for interaction.)

[battybattybats]

facebook is good for drawing in the numbers but yes, poor for much constructive work beyond that.

Considering the safety for the family that job-protection will create i guess ENDA and it's equivalents would be high priority for loved ones.

I wonder what else though?

Things like the Mathew Shepard Act to decrease the risks to family members of violence if they go out? Especially concerning for parents of young out TG kids perhaps? What else?

[Sheila]

What can loved ones do to protect their families by helping on TG issues?

Perhaps we can start by helping our TG partners to accept themselves fully ........... other than that what can we do that they will be comfortable with is a discussion for the partners themselves ........... as supportive as I am with Debs, it would make her extremely uncomfortable if I started a huge support rally in her surroundiong areas, on TG issues, she would have her friends and work colleagues questioning her on my interest in TG issues , and if they asked me, I would be unable to lie as to why my defence was so ........... !!!!!!!!!!!!! I support her in my way, my family know and support her and several of my friends do ................ when you have walked a mile in my shoes, worked and raised a family in them then maybe just then you can ask the Qustion
What other ways can loved ones help to protect their families on TG issues?.......... I have not just a TG partner I love and want to protect I have family and friends I want to do the same for and sometimes their interests conflict ...... it may not be fair but it is as it is

[battybattybats]

Perhaps we can start by helping our TG partners to accept themselves fully

Where loved ones can do that indeed that would be very good indeed.


other than that what can we do that they will be comfortable with is a discussion for the partners themselves ........... as supportive as I am with Debs, it would make her extremely uncomfortable if I started a huge support rally in her surroundiong areas, on TG issues, she would have her friends and work colleagues questioning her on my interest in TG issues , and if they asked me, I would be unable to lie as to why my defence was so ........... !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah well, that's open stuff. But there's lots of less open stuff that can be done, letters to senators and congressmen, anonymous or nom-de-plume comments on artciles news stories and blogs. Contributing small amounts of money to TG advocacy groups or TG charities... there's lots that can still e done without being out.


I have not just a TG partner I love and want to protect I have family and friends I want to do the same for and sometimes their interests conflict ...... it may not be fair but it is as it is

Ah but... is the discomfort of some of them actually in their own best interests? For eample for a racist to overcome being a racist they will have to be exposed to the discomfort of dealling with other races.

Sometimes the discomfort and suffering is needed, like putting antiseptic on a wound, or the pain of a vaccination.

But I understand that such are complex decisions involving many variables. But it's easy for us to put the comfort of the over-privileged before the needs of the under-priviliged just because we are used to an unjust status-quo and don't think about it in fair or objective terms, learning to do that takes time and is difficult.

[Sheila]

Sometimes the discomfort and suffering is needed, like putting antiseptic on a wound, or the pain of a vaccination.


I hope all the TG's are listening and taking note and when they are ready to put up with the discomfort and pain then and only then have they the right to ask those of us with Kids to expose them to what they themselves are doing until then they have no damn right to expect a 12 year old (insert your kids ages in here) to do what fully fledge adults will not :straightface:

[battybattybats]

I hope all the TG's are listening and taking note

Indeed. We too often accept short-term comfort for long-term pain, allowing Transphobia to reign when it should be challenged both in ourselves and in others.


and when they are ready to put up with the discomfort and pain

And here is where you miss the point. Daily life in the closet IS discomfort and pain! The thing is we assume that daily discomfort and pain is less than that of changing things.. we accept a long-term discomfort and pain that is in total extremely high to avoid a short-term one which is larger for a shorter period and smaller in the long-term... or is at least a gamble on less.


then and only then have they the right to ask those of us with Kids to expose them to what they themselves are doing

Uh... exposing a child to CDing? Are you suggesting having CDing occur around children is intrinsicly harmful? What's TYFA's position on this? You know, the group of children of Trans people.


until then they have no damn right to expect a 12 year old (insert your kids ages in here) to do what fully fledge adults will not :straightface:

Why?
Might it not be an old-dog new-tricks situation where a 12 year old can much more easilly adapt to something than a 30 year old?

Certainly that IS how their brains work. Neurologically the older someone gets the less neuroplasticity their brain has. A small child learns at a rate hundreds of times faster than an older child and an olfer child vastly more than an adult. Language aquisition is a perfect example where a 6 year old can pick up 3 languages faster than a 14 year old can pick up 1 and the 14 year old could pick up 3 in the time it takes a 40 year old to pick up 1. (My mum is a linguist and English as a second language teacher and did work with Aboriginal tribes where each person speaks different languages depending on the way they are realted! I also know other ESL teachers too as well as 6 other teachers from kindergarten through high-school to university level)