i feel like an alien

[CutieJulie]

on this side of the table i hear talks off sports and cars on that side of the table i hear talk of showers and dating and I sit in the middle unable to fully relate to any of it. i learned if you know just a little about everything you can join any conversation. well i can join in but it just feels empty to talk about things i could care less for. I feel like i don't belong anywhere.. my friends whom i have told have all left me. i'm afraid to tell the rest of my few remaining friends for fear of losing them too. my parents ignore the fact that i told them. i don't push them as i am currently forced to live with them due to economy. the only person who even will talk to me about it is my sister and only if i bring it up first. i am alone with no one to talk with or hang out with me. i go to work and come home. i am alone. never dating for fear of rejection is overpowering. I just sit there with a smile on my face and laughter in my mouth.. when deep down i am sad as hell and don't know what to do. i feel like an alien.

[Joanne f]

Now there is something that i can relate to "feeling like an alien" but then i am half alien :D.
It just takes a little practice to make it look as if you are interested in what the others are talking about and once you have mastered it they will not notice and when it is time to walk way just say to your self (what a load of crap) and that will bring a smile on your face :)

[Eriee]

Screw trying to fit in with other's you don't feel connected to, it's a huge waste of time. You'll find better friends... people that you actually love hanging out with. I went through the same thing, it'll get better, trust me. =)

[Dana Lane]

Weird, I kind of feel the same way. As long as I can remember I never totally related to guy things. Hate talking about sports and cars and building things, etc. guy talk. Never ever liked it and always hated being near it. However I did feel a bit more comfortable around women.

Most guys it seems thinks every other guy on earth loves sports as much as they do. I can't count the times I was approached and asked "You see that pass by so and so last night?" or something to that affect. I usually say "I hate sports" and that ends it right there once and for all. :)

[jennCD]

Oh heck, I've felt the same way for the last 30 years or so. Pretty much grew up with the TV being my best friend and kinda kept most things inside and lost myself in my art (which has drastically changed over the years from pen and paper to photography to music and back).

For me, what held it all together was investing my mental/emotional resources in find myself and where I don't fit in which in turn, helped me to create a place where I DO fit in. May not be easy all the time, but I will say that it is comforting.

:)
jenn

[marie354]

I've been through a stage where I didn't fit, (Or I didn't feel like I fit), in with others too.
But, it passed, and I'm making new friends now. I had my doubts for a while, even thought of going back to being Sam with Sandy back in he closet.
But, it'll be 2 years in August that I've been 'out' full time now, and I'm not turning back.
Things are getting better. It's just taken some time, is all, and well worth the wait.
I'm finally free!
~~Sandy~~

[SirTrey]

Weird, I kind of feel the same way. As long as I can remember I never totally related to guy things. Hate talking about sports and cars and building things, etc. guy talk. Never ever liked it and always hated being near it. However I did feel a bit more comfortable around women.

Most guys it seems thinks every other guy on earth loves sports as much as they do. I can't count the times I was approached and asked "You see that pass by so and so last night?" or something to that affect. I usually say "I hate sports" and that ends it right there once and for all. :)


It's the exact same thing (or was before I transitioned) being FtM....Living in the "girl world", I was expected to listen to things that drove Me absolutely INSANE...."She said this, and then I said that, and blah blah blah" :notlistening: On the other hand, talk sports, and I am all over it....I'm already suffering from major withdrawl now that basketball is over....:eek: So, yeah, I think that as trans people, we ALL feel like aliens, sometimes....At least at some point.

[corynn]

well maybe its time to start a fresh start in life
i just read your post and i know how you feel but maybe its time too move where its more acceptable like here in Texas it is really acceptable there are so many Sisters here that i have found
i am a CD from California and well its not as great as it sounds
expensive ,rude people ,crazy drivers

and well now i live here and i feel so good about my choice and i am very happy about it

as far as the parents go distance and setting boundaries for your parents is the way to do it

every mother will miss her children and she will have too come to the realization that she would "rather have you as you are just so she can be in your life"
other than not having you at all and yes it may take a while but things will work out. :doll: