A What if ..... CDing son

[Toni_Lynn]

As my wife and I were driving along today, we were discussing situations could present themselves to a crossdressing father that has a CDing son. We both agree that it is best not to make a big deal of his crossdressing. I acknowledged that it would be difficult for me as a crossdresser to not want to encourage him by buying him things, but I knew that it had to be that way.

So, we then we turned to what would I say if my CDing son, with me knowing that he is a CDer and him knowing that I'm one, came to me in say Wal*Mart with some item of girls clothes and asked if he could have it. How should I respond:

a) Agree to buy the item for him.

b) Say it was okay for him to buy it for himself.

I came to the conclusion that saying that it was okay for him to buy it for himself was the best answer. But I wondered if my answer would be different depending on teh item. For example, he would buy his own bras and panties, I'd never buy that for him, but if it was a skirt, I wonder if I would buy it for him.

Its all hypothetical, but I wonder how any of you would react to this

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[erica12b]

if my son asked, i would bye what ever he wanted (with in reason) but the question is would he ask , if he asked he had to think about it (i hope) for some time and as a cd i would try and show him tolerance,(let him tryit ) i may not out my self to him , tell im shure this if not him just experimentin, (did i just say that) lol i would not try and influance him just give him the fredom to experiment openly

[Kassina]

I would give him the choice. Tell him I could buy it for him now but I may not be around the next time something catches his eye. Maybe he'll ask me for 'moral' support as he purchases the item himself.

[christinek]

Agreed, make it child's choice. The shear fact that he has support from parents is stellar.

So does this lead to CD as being genetic and passable from father to son.

[TSchapes]

Oh honey, him and I would have a father and son outing at the stores that he would never forget.

I would be very supportive.

-Tracy

[Sarah Doepner]

I would only support him to the point where we bought things I could borrow. :D

I like the suggestion that he could buy what he wanted for himself and I would add to that he had to have enough to wear in boy mode first. Until the whole thing is worked out we would have to keep it in the proper priority. That doesn't mean I wouldn't want to buy things for him when I saw something that would be nice.

It would also be very important to link the purchases to some discussion about the nature and risks associated with our shared interest. Unconditional love doesn't necessarily mean unconditional support.

[Kathi Lake]

Phew!

This one required quite a bit of thought. I have two sons - 17 and 14. I don't believe they know that dear old dad has cuter, trendier clothes (and, sadly, looks better in them) than mom. I love my life, and I love what I am able to do through crossdressing. I honestly don't feel that what I do is wrong. However, would I spare him the anguish, the confusion and the soul-searching that I have gone through to get to this point of acceptance? Yes. I would certainly counsel him that if he can avoid it, he certainly should. Of course, he is my son. If it was as central to his being as it is to mine, I would do what any parent would - love him and help him however I could. Of course, his mother would probably kill me repeatedly, once she got wind of it. :)

Kathi

[Joanne f]

I would have no problem in buying it for him , but depending on what it was i may suggest that he should be a little careful on where he wears it .

[trannie T]

At what age would it be appropriate to buy your son his first training bra?

This is a great subject, I do not have any children so for me it is all academic but I can see there would be some awkward conversations.

[kynw08]

I would encourage him, but caution him about being...well reserved. Make 100% sure this is not the same phase as alot of people who grow up not to be CD's go through, or sexual frustration of early -adolescense.

Let's face it, school is a cruel world. I would not STOP him, but I would encourage him to procede safely until he was positive(and old enough the raging torrent of hormones started to abet just a bit) he wanted to be that way in WHATEVER capacity he wanted to be that way.

[Teri Jean]

I would have to give him the advise of going slow but if he needed support with choices and when, what, and where to dress would be paramount. Just as with any other topic one would want to protect and advise.

Keli

[Sara Jessica]

Phew!

This one required quite a bit of thought. I have two sons - 17 and 14. I don't believe they know that dear old dad has cuter, trendier clothes (and, sadly, looks better in them) than mom. I love my life, and I love what I am able to do through crossdressing. I honestly don't feel that what I do is wrong. However, would I spare him the anguish, the confusion and the soul-searching that I have gone through to get to this point of acceptance? Yes. I would certainly counsel him that if he can avoid it, he certainly should. Of course, he is my son. If it was as central to his being as it is to mine, I would do what any parent would - love him and help him however I could. Of course, his mother would probably kill me repeatedly, once she got wind of it. :)

Kathi

Thank you Kathi for thinking this through for me ;) ...your response is a lot like what I'd say to my pre-teen son who incidentally has said and done a thing or two to give his mother and I a moment of pause. At the end of the day I think these very few little demonstrations have been nothing more than what many other young boys go through rather than strong indicators of gender dysphoria.

He doesn't know about the other side of me but if we found out he was leaning tg (whether being a CD'er or having TS leanings), I would offer advice as needed but I'd hope my wife could have the strength to hop on board and be supportive as well (and I believe she would). Thinking back to my youth, it'd have killed me to talk to either of my parents about this whole thing, not to mention getting caught in the act, but if it came down to it, I'd have been so much more comfortable talking to my mom about it.

[Lora Olivia]

This is a good topic, but even hypothetically it would really need some clarification. The biggest question I would have is the age of the boy. You say you would both be aware of the others cd'ing, but is this a 7 or 8 year old that is saying I'm a girl. A thirteen year old with raging hormones that wants some lace panties, or maybe 17-19 year old that wants a skirt and top. There are just so many variables here, but i would try to be supportive in any case.

[Sara Jessica]

This is a good topic, but even hypothetically it would really need some clarification. The biggest question I would have is the age of the boy. You say you would both be aware of the others cd'ing, but is this a 7 or 8 year old that is saying I'm a girl. A thirteen year old with raging hormones that wants some lace panties, or maybe 17-19 year old that wants a skirt and top. There are just so many variables here, but i would try to be supportive in any case.

Good points which reminds me of something I left out...those fascinating cases where the parents have mercifully shut off the "T" before adolescence to avoid the ravages of hormonal changes before a "decision" is made as to how the child is going to live his or her life.

[karynspanties]

I believe my youngest has tried crossdressing. I know all three of my kids know that I am acrossdresser. My wife and I have our own walk-in closets. Mine is about half full of full slips and chemises hanging on hangers, plus I have some drawers with my camis and half slips. My dresser? 4 out of six drawers are panties. Kids go through their parents closets and drawers when they are not home. They ALL do it. Don't be fooled. But he is the only one left living here and I threw some stuff in the garbage can and there was a bag in there I did not recognize. I opened it up and there was alot of female clothes and lingerie in there. I guess he purged. All I said to him was if he ever needed to talk to me, he could. Anything at all. I would not judge him. He did not need to be embarassed to talk. He said ok and that was the end of it. Later that day the bag was gone. I guess he knew I found it and took it someplace else to dump it. I would just let them know that it is a rough road being a cd. It took me many years to realize and come to terms with the fact that I am actually transgendered. I would support him in his decision, but any purchases would have to be made by him.

[Chiana]

Hypothetically, if you had a CD'ing son and he came to you and said that they were having a sale a Victoria's Secret on panties and he wanted to get some. Should you buy them for him? What if he came to you and said the were having a sale on Jockey shorts at Sears? What then? Your response should be the same, IMO. I think you would want your son to be open and honest with you. It is just a part of who he is. Of course the larger question is should you encourage or discourage his CD'ing or let it take it's own course. As a CD'er yourself, you have the unique opportunity to teach him. And you should talk to him about it. Just like the traditional "birds and the bees" talk. Except slightly different. If he is a CD'er, he is going to do it anyway, you should share your experiences and help him avoid many of the potential pitfalls that are out there. At my age, one of the greatest regrets that I have is that I didn't/couldn't do more when I was young.

[Leslie Mary S]

Hypothetically, if you had a CD'ing son and he came to you and said that they were having a sale a Victoria's Secret on panties and he wanted to get some. Should you buy them for him? What if he came to you and said the were having a sale on Jockey shorts at Sears? What then? Your response should be the same,


OK what if you have a CDing Daughter? Do the rules change?

[Toni_Lynn]

First off -- I want to thank everyone for a great and well thought out series of answers. I wanted this to be more than just the stereotypical CDing son thread. I was looking to get beneath that and say -- okay, its here. he's one of us, now what -- and present a specific situation. YOu have all come through in a great way


At my age, one of the greatest regrets that I have is that I didn't/couldn't do more when I was young.

:sigh: *sigh* :sigh: I wish that had had someone in my family that I could have gone to back in those days of high school. It was a very lonely, bt at the same time, period in my life. My only regret is that I had not stood up to the bullies (my mum!), and done more!


OK what if you have a CDing Daughter? Do the rules change?

Ah ha! -- to that point -- I will post another separate thread, seeing as I don't want it to get lost in this thread!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Daintre]

As the father of a CDing son, I do have a bit of knowledge about this subject. My son learned at an early age his dad was not like other dads, his (meaning me) wanted to be female. My son had to endure his parents divorce and he was taken by me to see a physiologist several times to help him. The question he asked during one of the sessions we both attended was...Will I be like my dad and want to become a girl?

Skip by a few years and I could tell my closet and drawers had been gone through several times. I gently asked him why he went through my things and he said he was curious, fair enough. I did tell him that I was always open to anything he wanted to share with me. A short time later he did share that he did like to cross dress. We had a very good talk and I offered to do what I could to make his life easier...he hadn't come out to his mom. I also gave him a one shot deal that he could go through Jenni's things and take what he wanted.....didn't know he had such good taste...lost a few nice outfits that day.

You cannot push at any stage if you know about your sons dressing, just be open. loving and supportive

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

If I had a cd son, I'd probably learn as much as I could about him first - allow him to tell me what he's comfortable with, etc.

Depending on what he'd be comfortable with, I'd be very encouraging of his cding. I think in many ways, I'd try to give him the childhood I never got to have. I was made to feel very bad about who I am (when I got busted at age 12). I'd make sure my son grew up loving himself... something I had no concept of in my own childhood.

I can't say I'd be buying him things left and right - I'm not one who would want to spoil a child. But I'd want to help him explore his feminine side and make sure he understood to never feel bad about who he is.

Not sure if I'm answering the question posed... was it a shopping question?

I'd probably help him build up his female wardrobe if that is what he wanted to do (which I imagine he would). Again, it might be me trying to make up for my own crappy childhood by making sure his is very rich in all that I was denied.

[Jessica Who]

Really not sure how I would assist in buying clothes, but I hope to be very supportive if I had a son who was a crossdresser

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

Why treat him any differently than a daughter?

[countrygirl]

If my son was a CD yes I would be very supportive in any way he wants me to.

[allisonrn06]

I would support my son as a crossdresser, but given that he's now out of school, would probably have him buy his own clothes, fem or otherwise.

[kathrynjanos]

I think this is ENTIRELY a personal question, and that nobody can give the "right" answer.

For me, if my son and I have a good and open relationship (I'll try my hardest to make sure it's that way), I'll do my best to make sure he's happy. If he wishes to crossdress, then I'm not only OK with it, I'll assist where possible. Loaning clothes was out of the question for me - a post that was discussed some time ago here, but buying him his own, I'm OK with that.

Obviously, I wouldn't outright say "Hey, this is cute, you should get it," well, unless he asked me for some opinions in a store, but I mean, if he brought something to me, and it was reasonably priced and not trashy, I'd be happy to buy it for him.

Well, ok, there is one exception: intimates of any kind. Not panties and a bra, mind you, that's ok, but I mean anything falling under the category of lingerie. I'd let him buy it if he was old enough to know what it was, but I wouldn't buy that for him. Somehow this presents itself as a line not to be crossed.

[Hope]

I imagine that if I had a son, I would probably buy all of his clothes for him... If what he wanted to wear were "girl" clothes, including the "foundation garments" to make them look appropriate - why would that be any different?

I'm guessing the question comes from more of a place of sexuality than of transgender identity.

Even if it were about sex, it would still be a non-issue for me - I would make sure my kids had condoms galore too, regardless of the clothes they were to wear.

[Sallee]

this is all hypothetical correct? I have heard of that happening and have discussed whether CDing may be genetic. I don't think there are any studies whether it is or not.
The answer to the question would depend on the individual, father and son. Most importantly be supportive

[Ayame]

I would tell him even if he wants to look like a woman he still has to be a man and buy it himself :devil:

[KimberlyJo]

this is a great thread and something I have given more than a small amount of thought to. I have 2 boys ages 6 and 2. I don't dress fully around them, but my toenails are always painted and I occasionally wear women's pants or t-shirts around.

My oldest son looks up to me a great deal and often imitates and internalizes my interests as his own. This is pretty normal and I am sure he genuinely likes some of the things I like BUT has absolutely NO interest in painting his toenails like dear old dad. My youngest son who is only 2 insisted we paint his toenails one time and he usually gets his way if you know what I mean.

Whenever we are in the shoe department, the 2 year old will inevitably find a pair of girls shoes that he absolutely must try on...always girls shoes. It's like they are magnetically attracted to his feet. We don't buy them for him, but we almost always let him try them on. He LOVES them. Here I am totally torn between complete understanding and having NO CLUE how I should react.

He's only 2 years old and obviously has not developed an understanding of what's appropriate attire for his gender. Something I believe is strictly societal and not at all really genetic in nature. He just likes them and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it. I can't in good conscience contradict that obviously, I wouldn't. But I don't necessarily think I should actively encourage it either. Guess I'll stay on the fence with him about it and let him sort it out himself as he gets older. If it persists as he gets older then I'll do my best to support him in whatever way I can.

I'm probably overreacting and it's nothing...but like I said...it makes you think about these things.

[battybattybats]

this is all hypothetical correct? I have heard of that happening and have discussed whether CDing may be genetic. I don't think there are any studies whether it is or not.

The gene studies thus far are on TS:
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24556699-12377,00.html

The brain studies have been on gays, lesbians TSs and one non-op no-hormones full timer.

CDs aren't getting studied properly.

However note this quote from the comments of this blogpost here: http://aebrain.blogspot.com/2009/05/it-all-depends-where-you-are.html


riki said...
I am doing a PhD on the political and social implications of the brain sex theory of trans. My assessment is that there is certainly more evidence for that theory than for any other, but that it is far from "proven", and that many biological hypotheses have been falsified on the past (EG the HY antigen in the 70s and 80s). The psychological theories have very little evidence to support them.

I interviewed Dick Swaab, whose lab produced the BSTc research that is the strongest evidence for a neurological correlate for trans. It should be noted that one of the six MTF transsexual people in the original 1995 Zhou study had never transitioned, but insisted that they had a female gender identity. It sould also be noted that the 2002 Chung study found that the difference between males and females in the BSTc does not occur until after puberty, which poses some problems for a pre or early post natal hormonal causation theory.

Swaab thinks the BSTc is probably a part of a network in the brain involving the hypothalaumus and cortical areas.

"We only, by accident, hit on a little bit of it"

He also explicitly supported the idea that there is a biological causation for the whole range of gender identity variations:

"I think we talked about a scale like the Kinsey scale for sexual orientation – we should also have a gender identity scale. It is not either this or that; there is also something in between. The distribution will not be simple, but here will be people somewhere in the middle."

"So it is not the entire brain that is switching, it is some systems, and that may also be the explanation for the [gender identity] scale. Some systems do switch and others don’t and it depends on which systems have switched where you enter on the scale."

Other recent research (as reviewed by Zoe in earlier blogs) also supports the idea of certain sex differentiated brain areas being switched in ts or tg people while others are not.

So if that is the opinion of Swaab, perhaps the best qualified scientific researcher in the field, perhaps we can accept that tg is as likely to be biological as ts?

[Melora]

I am sure that I am mirroring some of the above responses..
But OH WELL...
Make Him BUY IT!! And with his allowence too.
He learns to buy the things with his Lust as well as his hard work.. Like the rest of us.
Please do not Baby him as a CD! He has to know the way of the world and that things cost and have to be bought!
Katie/Melora

[LisaMichaels]

First I don't think my son could tell me. I couldn't have ever told my father. Second if he was a CDer I would have to give hime all my love and understanding. I would have loved to been understood while I was growing up with this desire to crossdress. When I was growing up I thought I was gay becasue there wasn't anything but gay or straight and that kept me from coming to terms because I didn't want to be gay. But with todays new and more educated views of this lifestyle we can reailize that crossdressing doesn't mean gay. Knowing that gay people is gay and crossdressing people are crossdressers would help me to be able to help my son get the help that I never had. Shopping trips. Fishing trips. Don't matter my son is my son. I'll always be there for him in any endeavor.

[DaphneGrey]

Yes I would support him one hundred percent, I would buy what ever he asked for and make sure he had safe sane and healthy outlets for his expression. I would also make sure he spoke to a qualified Gender therapist.

But I rather doubt I would share myself with him.. The reason being Transgendered Children not only need the loving nurturing support of there mothers or other women. They also need to feel loved by there fathers.

I have a son 7 years old who is somewhat gender nonconformist. He likes to play dress up and plays with dolls from time to time, he is also very much a little boy. I believe it is better for him to see me as dad (tough guy) his anchor and rock loves him and loves his feminine side as well as his male side. I happen to believe it is better for him not interacting with me en femme.

We all have each other a wonderful thing to say the very least. What we really want (in my case anyway) is to be ourselves in the presence of any one regardless of gender and be accepted regardless of what we wear.

As his father I would provide for him any thing he needs to be healthy and happy.. If that means dresses so be it.

[battybattybats]

Why do you feel it's better not to let him see or know about your femme side?
What impact do you fear it would have on him?

[xAnne_Mariex]

I would personally support him in every way I could, be that buying clothes for him or taking him shopping so he can buy his own, as a crossdresser who has the support of my mum and a close friend I feel it's important to offer the same support to anyone else in our position.

[Carin]

How should I respond:
a) Agree to buy the item for him.
b) Say it was okay for him to buy it for himself.

There are two separate issues here.
a) How to react to a child who shows an interest in Crossdressing
b) Who pays for clothes
The latter question is easier. I paid for my children's clothes up to the point where they had money of their own to buy clothes. If he has sufficient means to pay for clothes, then he can get whatever he wants. Before that it is a budgetary decision.

As for the bigger picture that you are asking about. I firmly believe that our role as parents is to help/teach our children how to think and make decisions for their selves. Therefore in your scenario I presume to have done the legwork of helping the son understand for himself, in his own terms what it is about for him. If acquiring clothes is a part of that process then so be it. It is irrelevant at that point who pays for them.

[DaphneGrey]

Why do you feel it's better not to let him see or know about your femme side?
What impact do you fear it would have on him?

Thanks for the question, I hope I am able to articulate my feelings on this, I have been thinking about it all day so here goes.

I guess you could say I already share quite a bit of my feminine self with my children. Physically and emotionally I am some what androgynous in my male existence and emotionally many of my feminine qualities show through. I will give you a perfect example, I was helping my older boy 13 with a costume for halloween I did his makeup and quite humorously he said to me "Dad don't worry I won't tell anyone your just a big girly girl" I said what do you mean he replied "you sew, wear makeup, collect dolls, wear jewelry and you know more about fashion than mom" When I asked if any of this bothered him he said "no why would it" I am not quoting this word for word as it was some time ago.

I guess I just think particularly for my youngest, That my two personas for lack of better word would confuse him more than need be, as for my oldest well he is going through puberty at the moment, the last thing he needs is seeing dad in a dress.

For all my feminine traits and emotions, desires etc. (none of which I modify or hide) I am still very much thier father and do my very best to fill that role.

My boys have a wonderful mother so I do not want to compete with her (as if I could) or want them vying for my (Daphne's) affections. It is difficult enough for my wife and I when they play mom against dad. I could only Imagine the negative situations if ever one of my children went to my wife and said "well Daphne said it was OK!" which would happen eventually.
I also have to protect my marriage and occasionally as many wives of TG people will tell you. It is not uncommon to feel like they are in competition with "the other woman" and in many ways they are.
I do not want those feelings to extend into our family dynamic, having my wife thinking that she is not only losing (me to her) but also losing her children to her as well.

All things change with time of course but at least for now there would be way to much doubt and confusion.

I hope this answers your question, I had a great time sorting this out so feel free to probe further if I can elaborate.

[battybattybats]

For all my feminine traits and emotions, desires etc. (none of which I modify or hide) I am still very much thier father and do my very best to fill that role.

How do you see the father role?

As I've noticed studies on same-sex parenting show the kids of gay parents come out about the same as straight ones but lesbian couples children actually end up doing slightly better. Which seems to me to challenge the assumptions of gender/sex roles and parenting we tend to grow up with. But of course every family has it's own dynamics.


My boys have a wonderful mother so I do not want to compete with her (as if I could) or want them vying for my (Daphne's) affections. It is difficult enough for my wife and I when they play mom against dad. I could only Imagine the negative situations if ever one of my children went to my wife and said "well Daphne said it was OK!" which would happen eventually.
I also have to protect my marriage and occasionally as many wives of TG people will tell you. It is not uncommon to feel like they are in competition with "the other woman" and in many ways they are.
I do not want those feelings to extend into our family dynamic, having my wife thinking that she is not only losing (me to her) but also losing her children to her as well.

Really good point, a stable relationship is likely to be very important for the kids, moreso than other factors I would imagine.


All things change with time of course but at least for now there would be way to much doubt and confusion.

As things may change and accidental outting is always possible I recently came across a couple of links that may be posibly helpful for you.

COLAGE is a GLBT family group with a subgroup for the children of Transgender parents http://www.colage.org/programs/trans/

No Dumb Questions is a documentary (that I haven't seen) on children coming to terms with an Uncles transition to Aunt http://www.nodumbquestions.com/

and TYFA Trans Youth Family Allies is an organistation to help TG kids and their families http://www.imatyfa.org/

So these resources could be helpful for you with your gender non-conforming child and perhaps with the subject of how to deal with the subject in the family.


I hope this answers your question, I had a great time sorting this out so feel free to probe further if I can elaborate.

Indeed. :hugs:

[sometimes_miss]

First, we got off topic: Batty wrote about genetic studies. These will be inconclusive until there are completely environmentally controlled studies done using the scientific method to control all variables. In other words, it's always going to be 'best guess', as we don't do experiments on human beings. The examples given are very, very limited test groups, where the chance of errors is tremendous. 112 TS and 250 non? Out of how many billions of people? Not even worth considering. Even if you genetically test all known TS and CD persons, unless you also test all who are not, you will not get accurate results. So we can pretty much throw all the studies done so far out the window. Sample size is far too limited.

About the son, well then:

Leslie wrote:
OK what if you have a CDing Daughter? Do the rules change?
Girls are pretty much allowed to wear whatever they want to; the potential for danger is far worse there.

Much more important is why the boy want's to wear girl's clothing. Depending on the age of the boy, perhaps he's just trying to emulate dad, his primary role model. This clearly becomesase where being completely 'out' can cause potential problems in that way. And while I don't personally think there's anything wrong or dangerous with crossdressing, I wouldn't wish having to live with this on anyone, much less my own son. It certainly doesn't make life any easier. So, I would discourage him, and offer alternative activities as much as possible. As others have mentioned, a boy's desire to crossdress could easily be TS behavior also. I've never been a proponent of the idea that we wear woman's clothing simply because the textures feel better; I believe it's more gender role caused, and the boy may have certain developmental problems going on. More information is needed before making a decision.

[DaphneGrey]

Thanks Batty for posting the links, I haven't had time to check them out, but I did see No Dumb Questions
That was a great documentary.

To answer your question as to how I see the father role?

I will be honest and say I never really gave much thought to a definition, but I will give it a go.

Mom is the primary nurturer in our home, (I have my moments mind you) but she is there to tuck them in at night, help them with homework and music etc. Much of that dynamic is due to my insane work schedule. So I am not often home to contribute.

I guess you could say my role is the more traditional Protector, Disciplinarian ,Provider.

As I have posted they do notice mind you that Dad is a little different. so perhaps they see me in a different light as well.

I guess at this point in our family life continuity is my main concern. For my youngest especially.

I hope this answers your question at least in part.

[Chiana]

My youngest son who is only 2 insisted we paint his toenails one time and he usually gets his way if you know what I mean.

Whenever we are in the shoe department, the 2 year old will inevitably find a pair of girls shoes that he absolutely must try on...always girls shoes. It's like they are magnetically attracted to his feet. We don't buy them for him, but we almost always let him try them on. He LOVES them. Here I am totally torn between complete understanding and having NO CLUE how I should react.

He's only 2 years old and obviously has not developed an understanding of what's appropriate attire for his gender.

Wow. Boy, this struck a nerve with me and took me back many years. When I started, I have often said that I didn't have any concept of boys clothes/girl clothes and gender but I know I was always attracted to girls clothes, jewelry, make-up and dolls. Little boy clothes always seemed so UGLY. The first time I had any concept of doing anything "wrong" was when my Mom reacted very negatively to something I said. All I said was that when I grow up, I wanted to be just like the girl across the street. That was when I was 4 or 5 years old. I don't know, maybe I was wearing girls clothing long before I was 4 or 5. Kimberly, I wonder if you have a 2 Y.O. CD'er.

[kym]

if i had a son and he came out to me as a crossdresser(or bi, orgay, you get the picture) i would be the best parent i could be to him and treat him like the gender he is presenting at that time. Yes i would buy clothes and accesories for him and encourage him to buy his own and to find his own style. when it comes to "sexy" lingerie, he would be on his own to buy it, i would give fatherly advice as if he was my daughter. But most important, after going through life as a transgender individual, i would be 100% supportive.

[MissConstrued]

For me, the answer would simply depend on the kid's age. If he's still young enough that I'm buying all his clothes anyway, then yeah. Once he's making his own money, Dad keeps his. :)