A gender nonconforming son

[DaphneGrey]

Just this past weekend I took my 7 year old son to build a bear workshop. He picked out a Koala he really wanted a Panda but the Koala was being retired so he figured he should get one of those instead. As he was picking out outfits for Koko I noticed he would look at girl clothes and when I came near him he would quickly move on to boy things. My youngest is quite the shopper so this went on for some time.
He finally decided on a Viking outfit (they did not have anything from Australia) But he kept glancing back at the little girl things.
A little later that evening after talking with my wife and his older brother, I took him aside and said that I had noticed he liked the girls clothes but asked why he didn't buy them. He said because he is a boy. I knelt down to his level and looked him in the eye and said it is ok with me if you want girls clothes for Build a Bears, or if you see some other toy that is for girls if it is going to make you happy you can certainly have it. Nobody in this house is going to pick on you or laugh at you.
He got a big smile on his face and said he would like to have a Girl Bear for his collection so they could be a family. I said that was fine and next time we go you can pick whatever you want. He gave me a big hug and said "First though could we go to warhammer shop because I want to get a Blood Angels death squad with jump packs and chain swords" Not quite sure what that means. But I said Ok

Just a cute little story thought I would share.

[Lisa Golightly]

Awwwwwwwww :) I hope the Panda makes an appearance eventually... I love pandas :)

[DaphneGrey]

Awwwwwwwww :) I hope the Panda makes an appearance eventually... I love pandas :)

Rest assured Lisa "Pandina" wil be ariving shortly. Or so I have been informed. I wil post a picture for you.

[Lisa Golightly]

Cool :) x

[Lorileah]

Cool parent. :) You handled that so well. He may grow up to be football star or he may grow up to find a cure for cancer or he may grow up to be Yves St Laurent (that would be kinda gross because Yves won't be very good looking by then). But you gave him the options! He does not have to fit into a box. His mind was freed then. Think of the possibilities!

His male self told him "better get the koala while you can." his feminine side said "yeah but my koala like frills". Male side said, nope. Male side won today because that's what he thought everyone wanted. Now he knows he has choices.

Bravo

[cindym5_04]

That is really a cute story about your son...until it got to the Warhammer thing. I just don't get that game at all. I mean you stand around, roll the dice, use a measuring tape to move distance... to me that's boring. I went into one of those stores years ago and after they told me that, I left...lol

[VeronicaMoonlit]

He got a big smile on his face and said he would like to have a Girl Bear for his collection so they could be a family.

Awww.


"First though could we go to warhammer shop because I want to get a Blood Angels death squad with jump packs and chain swords" Not quite sure what that means.

Warhammer is a series of wargames that lots of people play, involving people buying lots and lots of $$$ little figures, and also an RPG that no one plays. If he's talking about jump packs (a little rocket pack used to jump short distances) and chain swords (chainsaw type sword thing), that means Warhammer 40000 aka Warhammer 40K, basically human space marine types, orks, and elves....in a science fiction style setting.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Jessica Who]

Daphne, that is an amazing story I shared it with my wife and we both think that it is super adorable, great job parenting.
You are setting a wonderful example :)

[DonnaT]

Very nice!

[Malori Cross]

You should be very proud of how well you & your wife handled this. I was very touched by your post.

Now if you can just keep him away from those god-awful war toys & games.

There's still hope for Humans. Keep it up, Girl!

[Samantha B L]

That was very understanding of you, Daphne. when I was very small,about 4 or 5 years old I had a brother and sister who were very near my age and we all 3 slept in the same room. We had about 20 stuffed toys and teddy bears between us and some of these toys and dolls were very girly. I would sleep with the girly stuff often and didn't give it a second thought.

[Deedee Dupree]

Wonderful parenting, Daphne! :rose:

[Gwendolyn]

Warhammer is a series of wargames that lots of people play, involving people buying lots and lots of $$$ little figures, and also an RPG that no one plays.

As impossible as it seems for me to say this....you are better off financially with a kid addicted to build-a-bear instead of Warhammer.

Tell him you will buy him a squad of assault marines, but only if he paints them pink instead of red. Or better yet offer to buy him some Sisters of Battle.

Gwen

[TSchapes]

My son grew up with "My Little Pony" and Barbie dolls, because that's what he wanted. We did not interfere. Even though he is 15 now, he has a whole bunch of stuffed animals.

I see we think alike. I'm glad you caught his actions and was able to take him aside and say, "It's OK".

Love, Tracy :love:

[Hope]

Awesome. Go you.

It is refreshing to hear about parenting that doesn't make me cringe every once in a while. Now if I could just stop hating children. Hmmmm... Going to have to stop going to the grocery store during the day time for that to happen.

[battybattybats]

"First though could we go to warhammer shop because I want to get a Blood Angels death squad with jump packs and chain swords" Not quite sure what that means. But I said Ok


Thats an expensive but fun hobby there :)
And for further explanation of this choice Space Marines are genetically-altered all-male monastic super-human soldiers in power arnour. The Blood Angels are ones that are all Vampires but yet loyal to humanity. They wear red armour but they also have a group called the Death Company (I expect what he was referring to) who wear black, so black and red armour is definately on the shopping list, and if these troops will be for the death company and he intends to play the game as well as paint the miniatures they'll need a lovely skull-helmeted jump-pack chaplain to lead them.

Space marines are ultra-macho, though most 40k armies are. So your kid may have mentioned it as a sign of still holding onto masculinity too. But the artistic side of the hobby is attracting more girls these days.

It could be a good hobby to get into with him. You could always get one of the more feminine armies like the Eldar and Dark Eldar who have a number of girl-troops amidst the male or the all-girl warrior-nun Sisters of Battle and play the game with him. It can be a good excuse for teaching maths, simple table reading, probability, strategic thinking and problem-solving. Not to mention sportsmanship as well as a fun way to spend a saturday.

I have a few small armies but my main big one are Tyranids, sort of space-ant/dinosaur/crabs.

And of course in the fantasy game I play Vampires :)

[TxKimberly]

ROFL - Sound like a well rounded boy! Right from girl bears to killer commandos!
That IS a sweet story - thanks for sharing. It's so nice to be reminded we are more than cross dressers. :-)

[DaphneGrey]

It could be a good hobby to get into with him. You could always get one of the more feminine armies like the Eldar and Dark Eldar who have a number of girl-troops amidst the male or the all-girl warrior-nun Sisters of Battle and play the game with him. It can be a good excuse for teaching maths, simple table reading, probability, strategic thinking and problem-solving. Not to mention sportsmanship as well as a fun way to spend a saturday.

Thanks for the Info, Granted I don't know too much about it, my older son plays and occasionally I help with the painting. And the little one pics up on it we just likes the figures for now.

I didn't know you could get girls! thats cool!

I have a few small armies but my main big one are Tyranids, sort of space-ant/dinosaur/crabs.

I think I have seen these one of my sons friend plays them.

And of course in the fantasy game I play Vampires :)[/QUOTE]

Imagine that I never would have guessed:D thats really cool.

All joking aside though I just responded to another one of your posts, you make me think Batty I really like that:)

[DaphneGrey]

ROFL - Sound like a well rounded boy! Right from girl bears to killer commandos!
That IS a sweet story - thanks for sharing. It's so nice to be reminded we are more than cross dressers. :-)

He certainly marches to the beat of a different drum:D I just want to make sure the world doesn't beat it out of him.:Angry3:

Thanks Kimbery

[kynw08]

I'd buy him the barbie, the girl bear, or lots of other things....

The only thing I would absolutley have to draw the line at is he watned eldar.......sorry no son or daughter will ever play the prancing freaks..... LOL.

I like it, he goes from the girlie bear to the super human macho men who go nuts and start beating the hell out of everything within sight(I played blood angels for years) after being consumed with blood rage......yeah I like this young man already!

Warhammer is a great game for multiple age levels. The "fluff(the back story) is probably over his head right now, but the basic game is extremely simple to play. If he doesn't already have an army, I highly recommend the new starter pack that's out, as the space marine army in it alone is worth the cost out of the box...

I'm partial to marines and orks......gotta love orks. There Philosiphy on life- If it's smaller than you, squish it, and painting EVERYTHING red makes it go faster

[Georgia Rose]

Great story and wonderful parenting. My Barbie doll is sitting on the shelf right next to me.

It's great to see parents with an open mind. I remember when my son was around 6 or 7 he liked to go and play with a girl the same age near us. When we asked him why he said he wanted to find out how girls played. We were cool with that but the girl's mother eventually put a stop to it as she thought it was wierd.

[Gisele]

That is soooooo cute!

I got a bear from there. He/she rode with us on our over the road trips hauling RV's to the dealerships. Yep he's a crossdresser also. :heehee:

One outfit is a camo shorts and a wifebeater shirt and the other is white silk panties and a Harley Davidson crop top.

We named him "Diesel".

My fiances bear is named "Brownie".

[catriona36]

even tho all he wanted was thebears to be a family, its great to hear people being GREAT parents for sure. I had a friend who taught me how to make bears but i have forgotten it all :(

Get him into a hobby with great people.. like rc planes and heli's :) yeah expensive but you can both play with great toys.
spesh when you put a cam in the cockpit :)
damn i need a job so i can do it all again lol

Keep up the great work. Your child will grow to be a good person and go far with people like you guiding his way :) :love:

[kynw08]

Cat- I'm involved in both RC and Warhammer, and have been for a long time. Same basic kinds of communities...."adult" men and women playing with really expensive toys.

Have to agree with the RC thing as a good hobby as well. Get him outside, active, and he'll fly the rest of his life.

[dawnmarrie1961]

I want you to adopt me! I would have loved to have a Dad like you. Soo caring & understanding.

[cindym5_04]

**still rolling eyes at Warhammer** sorry, but when I go past the store it just looks like a bunch of geeks who can't get dates in there. Sorry to offend anyone, but that's just my opinion.

The flipside to that is that since he's a kid- it's okay. We all played with different things growing up and hey, if he likes it and it keeps him out of trouble, more power to him.

I still say great parenting. I hope I can be that good of a parent when I eventually have kids.

[DaphneGrey]

**still rolling eyes at Warhammer** sorry, but when I go past the store it just looks like a bunch of geeks who can't get dates in there. Sorry to offend anyone, but that's just my opinion.

The flipside to that is that since he's a kid- it's okay. We all played with different things growing up and hey, if he likes it and it keeps him out of trouble, more power to him.

I still say great parenting. I hope I can be that good of a parent when I eventually have kids.
You will Cindy I am sure of it.

[kimmy p]

sorry, but when I go past the store it just looks like a bunch of geeks who can't get dates in there. Sorry to offend anyone, but that's just my opinion.


Hey I resemble that remark! Fortunately there are now GGG's.
Otherwise know as Genetic Girl Geeks.

Remember your bible "And the Geek shall inherit the Earth". :stirthepot:

[kynw08]

**still rolling eyes at Warhammer** sorry, but when I go past the store it just looks like a bunch of geeks who can't get dates in there. Sorry to offend anyone, but that's just my opinion.



There are some, there are also a lot of middle aged, happily married, men and women playing. Hell we had a guy who rode motocross on the semi-pro circuit and his GF playing with us......you talk about a big nerd, dude built boxes on his crotch rocket to carry his armies in. You never know who will play warhammer, but there is no way not to look nerdy doing it......

I mean let's be honest, it's some combination of chess and green army men.....


BTW limmy, when you catch one of those, send her my way :)

[Ayame]

goood parenting imo :2c:

[battybattybats]

**still rolling eyes at Warhammer** sorry, but when I go past the store it just looks like a bunch of geeks who can't get dates in there. Sorry to offend anyone, but that's just my opinion.


I know so many GGs who find geeks sexy! Seriously! Most G-girls I know like at least 1 of the following: comicbooks (especially x-men), roleplaying games (from dungeons and dragons to conspiracy x to call of cthulhu to vampire the masquerade to live-action gaming), warhammer and other wargames, videogaming, scifi/horror movies or tv shows from X-Files to Star-Trek... it's huge!

Why just this week i met the new girlfriend of one of my roleplaying and warhammer playing friends, she's quite cute, loves start trek and we were all there to play multi-player halo3 on x-box360.

I even know of one genetic girl who gets sexually aroused playing warhammer I kid you not at all! I know this for a fact :o warhammer with her can lead to sex, especially if she wins :o:o:o

[kynw08]

I suddenly forgot to shoot......or that I had power weapons....or to move....

;)

[Ze xx]

Most kids at that sort of age don't really have any gender bias towards toys, they like to play with dolls AND cars regardless of what sex they are.

Unfortunately they are sometimes brought up with being told that they can't have the play kitchen or the barbie because they are boys and those are not boys toys.

I do believe that it's the boys who get this discrimination more than the girls, purely because it is socially acceptable for a girl to be a tom boy. My dd has barbies (oh gods, so very VERY many barbies) and a train set, and cars. She plays with all equally and no one bats an eyelid.

Well done on letting him express himself :love:

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Very cool, and I love how you handled it by talking with him like you did. :) How I wish my parents could have been more accepting of my own obvious attraction to women's clothes (obvious as I got busted in my mom's once).

Whichever way your son turns out, I think it's great he's got an open minded parent like you to help guide and nurture him. I can't help but wonder if crossdressers make better parents because we're (generally) more open minded.

[darla_g]

I had a G.I. Joe growing up, he was always trying to fit in my sister's Barbie outfits. Sometimes he did! I think my sister quite enjoyed seeing that too.

[Dusk]

Fantastic parenting. I've never seen anything wrong a child playing with toys that are meant to be for the opposite gender.