Help me PLEASE!

[JustWondering]

:( Well i have only really dressed once, on the day i did it i felt great, but shortly after that i felt HORRIBLE. I really hate my self now, I need to stop acting gay like this, wanting to put on womens clothes... So i am seriously beating my self up for this, every time i think about it, i would say punch my self, or some thing of that sort, i just keep thinking like this before to long i will be some sort of freak.. I plan to marry and have children, what would i tell them? What would happen if they found out? Sorry son or daughter, but your Dady is gay, queer man. Please help me quit, i am looking in the miror and hating my self, i want it all to end, i feel that a life where i am so gay is not worth living, if i cannot help my self i will have to do something drastic

[diane]

You keep calling yourself gay? Are you? Or do you just enjoy womens clothes? I find womens clothes to be EXTREMELY SEXY ... but the last thing I am is gay. The feel of silk and lace just enhance the sensual feeling of being in love with women. So don't call yourself gay unless you are. The association of womens clothes with sensuality doesn't make you gay.

And if you are or were gay there is nothing wrong with that. But you need to identify your real concern ... not just accept false beliefs.

[JustWondering]

I am not gay, i just keep thinking that... i feel horrible

[Wen4cd]

No one ever said you were gay. Don't feel bad.

Wen

[eleventhdr]

This is all wrong most of us who are crossdressers are not gay at all and anyway being gay is nothing so trerrible nowdays anyway if and when you were to dicovery you were gay so waht. But just wanting to wear female clothing does not make anyone this way at all. Most of us wear female clothing because it feels so good rather then male clothing which is not very nice at all We do enjoy wearing it and then being or trying to be feminine and relaxed while being so this is the great advantage of wearong female clothing. To beat yourself up like that because you want to dress in female clothing is all wrong as well. You must tgry to reason out just where you do stand on this and tehn decide how you do want to go it is not for everone. Hope you can reason it out and then decide if and when you do desire to continue being Crossdresser or not. Hope this does make sense. Later Suzy Ann!.

[Julie]

First of all you need to take a hard look at yourself and your stereotyping attitudes.

If you are sexually interested in men then you are gay. If not then you're straight regardless of what clothes you like to wear.

Now once you accept that fact you can move on to your stereotyping crossdressers as gay. It is a fact that the percentage of crossdressers who are gay is about half what the general public is. That means the odds of you being gay are about half what they would be if you weren't a crossdresser. You should find that comforting.

Moving on to your guilt... You guilt stems from a lack of self acceptance. You can't accept that you're a crossdresser even though you are. Your comment, "Well i have only really dressed once, on the day i did it i felt great" proves this. If you are able to move past the gay stereotyping maybe that will help you accept yourself for who you are.

If it's any consolation I have recently heard that our crossdressing may have been caused while in the womb. If the mother releases certain hormones during the development of the fetus' brain it can cause the brain to be wired more like a female brain. Now that doesn't make you gay. You may be a mental lesbian :rolleyes: but you're not physically a gay male :D

You need to ease up on yourself a bit. Everyone has something they don't want others to know so you're not alone. Once you learn to accept yourself your life will be much easier.

You can take some solace in the fact that attitudes are easing up regarding the transgendered. By the time you get married and have kids it should have improved, maybe enough that it won't be a big deal when you tell your kids. From everything I have read you tell them early or late but not when they're teens.

Maybe you can start by writing down all the good qualities you have. From there decide which of them are a direct result of being a crossdresser. Then you will see there's good that comes out of being "gifted".

[HillaryArtemis]

Hey, read some of the posts on this site. Most of us are married and with kids. I was were you were for many years, now what the hell! I am drop dead gorgeous when in dress and my wife even says I am cute. As for the kids,they are too young to be told. It is a long hard road to get to where you are comfortable - make sure your wife will be okay with it. It even spices up your sex life and conversation.

Jody Artemis

[HillaryArtemis]

Actually any extreme or bad thoughts mean that you do really need support of some kind - do not put yourself in a box. Go visit someone - I went to a priest before and told him when I was really in trouble - I knew he couldn't tell - but I felt better talking to him. I went to a few he and she shops and talked to the owners - they were cool. You know now I love it so very much. I few so sexy and sexual and powerful in dress that I would not trade it for anything. Read some books to on crossdressing and transvestitism. Get some knowledge - fast.


Jodi Artemis

[ChristineRenee]

Actually any extreme or bad thoughts mean that you do really need support of some kind - do not put yourself in a box. Go visit someone - I went to a priest before and told him when I was really in trouble - I knew he couldn't tell - but I felt better talking to him. I went to a few he and she shops and talked to the owners - they were cool. You know now I love it so very much. I few so sexy and sexual and powerful in dress that I would not trade it for anything. Read some books to on crossdressing and transvestitism. Get some knowledge - fast.


Jodi ArtemisI agree with Hillary. You need to get some books on crossdressing and transvestism and understand what it is you are feeling right now. Most crossdressers would tell you that they were consumed with guilt and repressed feelings of negative self-worth at one time or another. Dressing en-femme does not automatically make you gay...and being gay doesn't automatically make you a bad person either. You need to acquire information and do some honest soul searching and examine your feelings. I grew up in a family of males and my best friends that I hung around with did the same...no sisters. We all had a prototype male childhood. We played sports, played "war" with our army men and dressed like soldiers and played "war" in the neighborhood. Girls were alien beings to us when we were in elementary school. My parents were typical 1950's parents too...maybe not Ward and June Cleaver, the Anderson's, or Ozzie & Harriet, but simple, lower middle class working people. To my knowledge, nobody in either my dad's or mom's family ever crossdressed. So why me? Where did this come from, or out of, I used to think to myself? It started for me at the age of 12 with putting on my mom's clothes. I got a real sexual thrill from it too...then later would feel tremendous guilt, probably very similar to what you felt. Yet, I couldn't stop doing it either. My mom never actually caught me in the act, but knew eventually from how her things were disheveled, rearranged or poorly refolded in her drawers. I lived with guilt from that time on for most of my life. I couldn't tell ANYONE either. My grandfather, father and brother were all manly and into sports or the usual male hobbies like fishing, hunting, etc. They smoked, they drank, they were what was known as a "man's man" at the time. All male...all the time. This was the 1950's and this was the image you presented to the world whether it was true for you or not. People who either came of age then or who were adults then will tell you that it was a very, very, repressed time sexually in this country. Expressing anything resembling a feminine side would brand you as a queer or "homo", which was the word I heard used for it mostly back then. So you learned, or were conditioned, to repress any and all feelings that were considered feminine so as not to be called a homo or a sissy.

We hate or fear what we don't understand mainly...and American society with many of it's puritanical origins still intact after all these years has been slow to change this. It is changing, however. There is much more tolerance and acceptance, even if grudgingly, towards the gay community and the many positive contributions they have made to American society and it's culture. I believe CD's and the transgendered to be the final frontier, so to speak, to be accepted and allowed to live as we really are. It is slow progress...business as usual in this country...but I do see it changing for the better and not just for us but for society as well because when we all can get to the point where we can accept people for who they are as people, we will all be truly liberated from the bonds and shackles of the narrow minded and shallow mindsets and stereotypes of the past.


Peace...Love...& Harmony,

Christine

[HillaryArtemis]

You know, I love it. I love my body now, more than ever. Since I been going all the way nails and the who nine yards - almost every night for an hour or two - I feel so good, both as a man and as a woman. My mother and sister in law today just commented on how handsome and happy I looked these days. I can stare at my long shaved legs in heels for hours. Today my wife and I meet this openly gay guy who was a friend of a friend and I didn't feel any brothership or longing - actually I just felt a difference between himself and I. I used to be more scared of being gay then of anything else, but you know what crossdressing taught me that I am mostly straight and in love with my beloved wife.


JodiArtemis



P.S. Today, my wife even bought me a nice pair of white shoes. Oh, that's sexy.