Forced purge and slow recovery

[DinaMature]

Very recently, I moved across the country, coast to coast. Additionally, I went from living alone to cohabitating with an SO. With all the uncertainty that entailed, I felt I'd no choice but to dispense with my accumulated wardrobe.
Gone are my silky nightgowns, dresses, most of my jewelry and all my make up.
And perhaps, what I miss the most... my heels and flats. I'd been through three pairs of heels but only found one that fit. And my flats were just light, comfy color and style. /sigh gone to the garbage.

Today, in my new city of residence, driving and exploring, I spotted a Payless Shoes. 'Be still my heart!! The car almost drove itself into the mall's parking lot, my eyes fixed on the store front I'd barely noticed in midst of all that is new and fascinating for me.

As I write, I'm wearing a nice fitting pair of 4" heels (a new step up from my earlier 2-3" pair)... shapely with pointed toes and low at the back, a finish maroon leather leather.
My early favorites have been grandly replaced!!

The early pair were a size 12 I'd found at Wal Mart and they always felt too snug after a long time on my feet. These were marked 11 (I bought them trusting I could 'make' them work) but they are actually borderline large on my feet.
I know sizing is often inexact but looking at the stilleto style of these, first impression would be they'd be a real challenge to squeeze into. Not at all. In fact, I was wearing crew sox with sneakers... when I tried them on in the car, I was able to comfortably fit them with the bulk of the socks on my feet.
I'm now wearing a purloined pair of knee highs (SO has many many hither and yon, no inventory tracking is possible) and again, the fit is almost too loose.

It's a beginning, but for my sensibilities, no small step. I loved my first pair of heels and am rapidly finding a warm spot for my new found pair.

Thanks for listening... I'm gonna go run the vacumn around... maybe for an hour or two. :D

[Kitty Sue]

Hi I feel ya. Although my situation was a little different. When my SO broke up with me I purged all my clothes. that was a year ago. I kick myself now. Looking back I think I was blaming Kitty Sue. I was doing so well. Prior to last year it had been almost 10 years since I last purged. Now I moan and gripe each time I buy a new bra or panties etc. LOL. Silly me.

On the other hand it is nice to shop.

[Ralph]

So are ya gonna tell the new SO, or wait until she finds out on her own?

[DinaMature]

Telling SO? yes, that's a horse of another color, isn't it? actually, she knows I'm not the average guy... not by a long shot. I wont go into all the history and detail but she's a sense of things. I just don't think she realizes just how far my proclivaties go.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Purging my 20 year accumulation of complete feminine finery was the absolute worst thing I ever did in my journey to Sisterhood. This was done in 1995 as the demand of an outraged spouse. Oh, like a fool, I thought this would be the end of the journey. WRONG ! The things I threw away cannot ever be replaced - my Olga panties, bras & nightgowns, my collection of lavish lacey silky slips - gone. If I had only known then what I know now.

If this Forum had been available prior to that awful purge, things would have been different.

But as I now know (we all ought to know by now) the journey to feminity NEVER ends.

Please - resist the urge to purge - you will be sorry like I am - replacing and starting a new wardrobe has been both fun and $$$$ expensive. But you can never replace those beautiful clothes that gave you so much pleasure.

Been there - done that - sorry I did !

JoAnne Wheeler

[Christina Horton]

I have never purged once. I do get ride of stuff I don't want any more. But I have never thank god, have never done that. I allways feel so bad for you girls whom have to cuz a SO said so or for other reasons. My heart goes out to you , BUT it give you a reason to shop till you drop.

I would give you some advice , to tell her before it's to late. But that's me . Good luck and shop shop shop. That's an order Hun.

[darla_g]

in my 20+ years of dressing i have always felt comfortable to not have purged anything at anytime. The only problem with that is you collect a lot of junk over time. I have a GG who helped me one time and basically i got rid of a bunch of clothes that were really nondescript or just plain wrong for me. Likewise for makeup, i used to buy makeup indiscriminately, but now I know what i want and what works for me.

So you know what?? a purge (maybe a partial purge) might not be a bad thing!

:love:

[Carly D.]

I was going to do a purge today.. I have a little bag of really worn tights n pantyhose and I was thinking the other day that today (Thursday) is trash day, I better get that bag checked or just toss the whole of the contents, I won't miss it.. get to today and I forgot to check the hose so I figure wait till next week but I'll check it today.. I checked and while every pair has a "toss it" factor, they all could be worn under my pants no problem.. what was I thinking then?? I could have tossed a good twenty pair of still usable hose.. well that was close.. (I'm such an idiot sometimes)....

[Presh GG]

I so agree with darla g . Who wants to wear styles 5 - 10 years past ?

To refine her look as my dear Tea aged is what makes her special [ and pass - able.]
It's the silly lady who want's to look like a teenager in her 40s into her 50s.

Clean out your closet from time to time , but keep the classics .

springtime gg

[DinaMature]

This was no twenty year buildup I tossed... and i had no expectation that I was done CDing. But for the purpose of transition and not knowing exactly who'd be pawing through boxes n bags, it was just best to plan on starting a fresh collection.
The hardest to replace ... and for now the least likely to get to enjoy... will be the nightgowns. Not flimsy Fredericks trash, nice satiny well made robes n gowns. Sumptuous stuff I loved sleeping in. I have silk pjs SO bought for me (see, she's all ready being led down the right path) but they arent the same.

[Charla McBee]

Before my last major purge it was always whatever could and would fit me that I could "borrow" without concern that it would be missed. Everything was absolutely abandoned before I went to college and especially after my family left the house I grew up in.

Ive started to rebuild a collection that is truly my own and that feels better than anything before. I had the tiniest little stash for a few years but I recently lost that and I just can't take it anymore. Eventually you may have to just go out and buy new things yourself and it just might not be so bad. I'm still in the midst of my own purge and recovery but I have determined that this was the last just as I completed the first of buying shoes in person, twice!

[Sharon B.]

I know how it is to purge feminine clothes, I have probably purge three or four times in the last 17-years. Now if I have to hide my clothes because of family coming to visit about once a year or I decide to have a new years eve party I will pack the clothes, makeup, purses and shoes in suit cases and store them in a closet.
Even if I should chose to start dating again I will pack everything away in suit cases, the hardest part will be explaining why I don't have any body hair, may have to take up riding a bike.