Planning on telling my girlfriends friend. Help!

[vicky00x]

My girlfriend and i have a mutual friend who is the only person we know who we can guarantee she will not judge or gossip. I feel my girlfriend needs to be able to talk to someone else other than me as i think she finds that a little hard to talk about cd subject. Do you think its a good move involving a third party. Im at a loss really as i think she is nearly with me. Im trying to do everything i can for her to make this as painless as i can. As you know it can be difficult talking about it without it sounding a bit weird! If you know what i mean. Im rambling again arent i! Help x

[tracigirl_tv]

Vicky, it's tough to answer this without knowing the three parties involved.

Ok, now that the official disclaimer is out of the way.....

I think it's a good idea to tell the girlfriend's friend. You both seem to trust her to be supportive, and it IS important for your gf to have someone other than you to bounce things off of/blow off steam/etc.

Good luck to you both....please keep us posted, ok?

xoxoxo

Traci

[MissConstrued]

Well... hard to say. But if your girlfriend's girlfriend is anything like my girlfriend's girlfriend, they'll take you shopping, and spend hours dreaming up naughty things to do to you. :D I say it's worth a try.

[Sheila]

hun only you two can judge with any realism if this is a good idea, but you could tell your GF about the GG section here ...... it is friendly and we have fun :D

[DonnaT]

It could depend on how comfortable you are with yourself for being Vicky.

I told my wife she could talk to whomever she wished.

If your OK with it, then tell yer to go ahead and talk to her GF.

[Renee Demarea]

Doesnt Sound like a good idea to me, what if she becomes jealous why ruin a good thing..........:2c:

[vicky00x]

just to clarify. The only reason of telling her would be to give my girlfriend a 3rd party outlet to help her. I dont really want anyone else to know but am prepared to sacrifice my feelings to help her. Not that i deserve any sympathy for the bombshell i have dropped on her !x

[kellycan27]

sounds like a good idea to me...

[Christina Horton]

let your Gf set the pace. Let her go at her own speed, if she want to .... And your ok with then do it.

She's the boss of this and let her know that all you want to do is make her feel better about it. If that make You umcofortbal well so be it.

It will be good for her to have a friend to talk to about this.

[shaunamac]

I've found that if you tell one girl something like that you may as well tell every girl!!!

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

My girlfriend and i have a mutual friend who is the only person we know who we can guarantee she will not judge or gossip. I feel my girlfriend needs to be able to talk to someone else other than me as i think she finds that a little hard to talk about cd subject. Do you think its a good move involving a third party. Im at a loss really as i think she is nearly with me. Im trying to do everything i can for her to make this as painless as i can. As you know it can be difficult talking about it without it sounding a bit weird! If you know what i mean. Im rambling again arent i! Help x

It will only sound weird if you squirm and display discomfort, shame, and/or embarrassment in discussing it.

Sharing or not is up to you. You need to ask yourself if you're ready for a 3rd party knowing. Once someone else knows, the cat is out of the bag. Trust her with your life or not, she may tell someone else - either another friend of hers that she trusts with her life, or perhaps accidentally in conversation to someone else... She may tell, is the point. If you're ok with that, then what do you have to loose?

Are you comfortable with who you are? Is your girlfriend comfortable with who you are? Is your crossdressing an issue in your relationship, or just one of many realities (like having a favorite color is a reality)?

If you and your girlfriend are having some troubles with your femme-side, I'd suggest you work them out before bringing a 3rd party into this. If you expect that telling a 3rd party might make it easier for your girlfriend to accept you (that is IF she is having any trouble in that respect), then you might not like how things turn out if she reinforces your girlfriend's uneasiness about your crossdressing.

I don't have enough data to really offer better advice. I'm not really sure you're looking for advice though. I think you just need someone to tell you that things will be ok if you tell someone else. In that respect, things WILL be ok if you're confident in your life and comfortable with who you are. If you've got some issues yet to work out... well, anything can happen. Be prepared.

If it helps at all, envision your crossdressing sisters right there with you. We all understand you and love you. Draw strength from us. We're not weird or crazy, right? I believe in you, Vicky. You need only to believe in yourself. :hugs:

[MissConstrued]

She's the boss of this and let her know that all you want to do is make her feel better about it.


And that, mah friend, is the advantage to her knowing up front... you get to stay the boss.



I've found that if you tell one girl something like that you may as well tell every girl!!!


Very true! I found out that girls talked about me, and it made me a bit uncomfortable at first. Then I'd catch hell -- "How come you never wear that/do that when you're with me (pouty face)?" & such.

But I quickly found it worked to my advantage! Now, if I want them all to know something, I tell one. :) (Details would be TMI for this board... wink, wink, nudge, nudge....)

[dilane]

If she's anything like my wife, it's a real a hardship not being able to talk freely about this with a good friend.

Don't worry, she's probably already talked about a lot of things that would embarass you if you knew.

My wife has told several friends over the years (and maybe more, who knows?) She mentions it to me when she tells someone.

[trannie T]

Realize that she may not have the same high regard for your privacy that your girlfriend has. You may be outed to more people than you have intended.

[paulaN]

If your girlfriend needs a girlfriend bring her in. Then maybe you can all be girlfriends. Whoo Hooo.. I think it will help.

[DaphneGrey]

It has always been my belief, that if you tell one you have to let them judge who if anyone they need to talk to. It is not cool IMO to ask others to keep our secrets.

Asking for discretion is another matter. When I have told family members and friends, I would always say " don't feel like you must keep my secret, I just ask that you use good judgement when talking about this to people"

Lets face it it's great to be out even to one person, we escape the closet and ask them to go in. It is very stressful on SOs.

My advice would be let your girlfriend talk to whomever she needs. Most assuredly more people will find out, yes. But it won't be a big deal.

[PretzelGirl]

My wife feels the same way in that she wants someone to be able to talk to about this. I am trying to steer her towards this board. If she wants to tell a friend because it is a burden, now she has a friend carrying that burden and she will want to tell someone.

It reminds me of an old shampoo commercial from the 70's. They show a lady who will tell two friends about the shampoo, and they will tell their friends, and they will tell their friends,. . . all while doubling the amount of pictures on the screen of the original lady. As everyone else says, once the cat is out of the bag, there is no putting it back. And these things keep doubling so it isn't just "one more".

[vicky00x]

Well tonight the night i spill the pink beans to my girlfriends friend. Im confident it will be ok but have the natural nagging nerves about it. Think of me wont you! Vicky x