Boyhood experience you wished you NEVER had

[Toni_Lynn]

I just have to do this because I'm in a bit of crappy feel sorry for myself introspective mood -- so I have to play off the girlhood experience you wished you had thread.

For me, the boyhood experience(s) I wished I NEVER had include:

Being forced to get a crewcut when I was 8 -- Damn I hated that. It was so humiliating and I looked like a clown when it was all done. Thank God it only ever happened once!

Being made to play with the boys -- because I wasn't good at it, or had any reason inside to be good at it, I hated being made to play baseball with cousins or any of the boys in the neighbourhood. Funny, though, as I said in the girlhood thread, had I been a girl, I would have been a tomboy, and would have every reason in the world to show up the boys!

Being called fatty fag in Jr High -- that hurt so much, cause I knew wasn't what they said I was.

That's a start for me

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Anna the Dub]

Well, to be honest, all of it. Hated my childhood (and teen years and my 20's and my 30's).

[Samantha43]

I think I had the best childhood anyone could ever have. I had loving parents, great family and friends.

I did have to suffer through the crew cut thing. I didn't like it, but it didn't scar me for life.

[Patricia1]

The part I didn't like about being a boy? ... let's see ... oh, yes ... it was the part about being a boy. Hindsight is 20/20.

[sissystephanie]

Can't think of one experience that would be an answer! Although I lost my mother ar age 7 and my dad at age 14, I was raised by very loving relatives and did not lack for affection. In fact I wore my aunts panties frequently! LOL

[Christina Horton]

I loved crew cuts. Used to ask no beg for them. I liked my boy hood , I just wanted to play with and act like a girl to. Was I wanting to much. He'll no. I liked playing in the mud rough housing etc. Being girly I would have loved but I would have (if born a girl) a tomboy and would also be a girly girl too.

[Kate Simmons]

Nothing really. I was a "secret" tomboy anyway.:)

[promgown]

I enjoyed every minute growing up as a boy. Just Would loved to have Some experience that my sisters had.

[Miranda-E]

Living with my bigoted parents until I was 16.

[Sharon B.]

Being made to have my hair cut when I wanted it long, trying live up to the image of being a boy when I really wanted was to be a girl and enjoy all of the things my two sisters got to do.

[KarenCDFL]

Getting picked on and beat up all the time cause I really did not act like a boy. Was never into sports or other boy things.

My only hope is that all those people who did that to me got some nasty disease and/or died a horrible painful death. Or better yet, died while getting the crap beat out of them.

And yes I am serious.

[Mary Morgan]

I guess the haircut thing strikes a cord with me, but I think the real issue was that I was never quite good enough, at least I felt that I wasn't, or was made to believe I wasn't, and underneath it all, I just wanted to be left alone. I was the oldest, the first to be told what I was expected to do and be. Even in my early youth, I found comfort and escape in my girlhood.

[Phyliss]

Getting picked on and beat up all the time cause I really did not act like a boy. Was never into sports or other boy things.

My only hope is that all those people who did that to me got some nasty disease and/or died a horrible painful death. Or better yet, died while getting the crap beat out of them.

And yes I am serious.

Me too, I also, now and then wish all evil upon them. Bad as that was, the worst "experience" I had was, at nine yrs old, I had to attend my Mother's funeral. I can still, to this day, hear my father speaking to me as we left the house. "You're a man, no crying, be a soldier" My younger sister was able to cry, "She's a girl and it's OK"
It was many many years later after hours of "couch time" that I was able to comfront the reality of the situation and TRULY cry for her passing.

[Kathi Lake]

Those dreams. Ewwwww!

Also, being the skinniest, last-picked, clumsy doofus that ever cried into the recess lady's apron. :)

But hey, I grew out of it into the man (and woman) I am today. I love myself as I am now, and therefore can only look back on my childhood with pleasure since what I am now came from who I was then.

Kathi

[LisaM]

I can remember two boyhood experiences that I wish I never had:
1) Kneeling down every night and praying that I would wake up as a girl the next day and it never happening,
2) going to my first coed party in 8th grade and being coaxed into 'making out' with a girl when all I really wanted was to be a girl.

[Missy]

a intimet friendship with next door boy that played together for years that lead to a missed up mind

[trisha59]

Well there was one time in middle school, I was called up to the blackboard and because of a :o It was some what awkward

[Nicole Erin]

Well there was one time in middle school, I was called up to the blackboard and because of a :o It was some what awkward

Yeah the constant hard-ons for no reason did make things akward. I could have lived without that.

Yeah basically I could have lived without having to do all that boy crap in middle school. Picked last puny kid who ran and threw like a girl... :brolleyes:

Yes I was a sissy but gyod did everyone have to treat me as such?

[lisalove]

The only thing I can think of is the time I got caught stealing panties from a store. It was humiliating being in front of my Dad and haveing to explain, why I was stealing panties.
Then going home and standing there while my parents went through my room and found my stash. Then taking the stash out to the backyard and lighting it on fire. i didn't get grounded or anything, but the humiliation was enough. although it didn't stop me from going out and buying my own and starting all over again.

[DianneRoberts]

being so skinny
being forced to play basketball
having popular sisters
not having TV

[Aubrey Green]

Where do I start!! My brother and I being used as punching bags by my older brother. Running down a bank and tripping over some cleverly concealed barbwire and falling head first into a creek and ending up with 12 stitches in my head. Spending until age 14 with very short hair (my dad was a barber in the Navy) or Being a freshman in high school and being 4'8" and 75 lbs. I grew a little after that and was 5'7" and 125 when I graduated. :daydreaming:

[celeste26]

My worst was the moving from city to city every three or four years. My father was a preacher and he was re-assigned regularly to new churches. The friends I lost and the favorite playgrounds I lost left me without any 'Home town' and disconnected me from myself. That and the requirements of living in front of people with high expectations.

[pickles]

I don't remember my childhood being to bad, but at the same time I wish it had been totally different. Oh well. So yeah, all of it and none of it at the same time.

[dawnmarrie1961]

"Boy hood experience I wish I never had."
I have have to think about this one.

I'm not stereo typical. I loved playing sports.(Baseball,Football, Hockey and Basketball. ) I'm not saying I was all that good at them but I gave it my best shot.

I always had a girl "friend" growing up. Usually the farmer's daughter from down the road. At least until I got old enough to realize that their was something "different" about me.

My oldest brother picked up on the "Fagot" word in the late 60's. He used it on me when ever his friends were around. It hurt to hear him call me that but after a while I didn't care anymore. It was just his way of acknowledging my existence in the room, before he raided my stash of comic books.

Puberty was an awkward time, I guess it's supposed to be. But it was double awkward because my body was changing one way while my mind was going in the opposite direction. I felt so isolated and alone. Even in a family of seven children I didn't have anyone I felt comfortable talking to. Everybody seemed to have problems of their own to deal with.

I spent a lot of time in the woods. Talking to the pine trees. My only real friends. Trouble is pine trees don't talk back. Lucky for me that they didn't otherwise I would have had an even bigger problem than being gender challenged!

OK, I think I've got it!!! The one childhood experience I wish I never had. (Please don't judge me on this one.)

I was about 15 yrs old at the time. We had this dog. A male. Used to hump everything he could get his paws on. Drove my father crazy.
My Dad had me stay home from school one day, I didn't think much of it, sometimes he needed help chopping wood or building something. He had told me we had to get rid of the dog. He'd had enough of him. I figured we would just go for a ride in the truck, find some far off spot and let the dog go, I had been through that before. I hated it, but at least it was humane.
Not this time. Dad had me lead the dog into the barn. He grabbed a rope. Tossed one end over the rafters. Tied a noose around the other end and slipped it over the dog's head. Then he handed me the other end and said "Do it." I looked at him for a moment with a look of total disbelief on my face. With tears welling up in my eyes I put both hands on the rope & pulled. The dog struggled to catch its breath. After a minute it went limp. I thought it was over. Then the rope broke. The poor creature fell to the ground. With the noose untightened it was still breathing. Still alive!
Dad handed me a shovel and said "Finish it." He made me beat the poor thing to death. I didn't say a word. I just did what my father told me to do. Later we buried the dog in an unmarked grave at the edge of the woods. I went back and said a silent prayer when no one was around. Dad told me not to tell anybody about what we did. I never looked at my father the same after that day.

Yeah. That is the boyhood experience I wished I never had.
nuff said.

[shayleetv]

I think you could say my best friend was my mother. One year the fishing was great at the lake cabin of my parents friend. I took my mother out on the lake to fish. She always thought I was the best fisher man because I seemed to catch the most fish and regularly caught the biggest fish. This trip proved the point. Right off the start I caught a 33" german brown and a few minutes latter caught a 35" german brown. Mom asked me to stop fishing so she would have a chance. I did but she didn't catch anything. While she was fishing I decided to change the lure she was using to the same one I had been using. I tied the lure on and on her first cast she caught a monster. As she was bring in the fish and we were just about to net the fish my knot came untied and the fish swam away. Mom looked at the line where the knot came untied and then looked at me with the most hurt on her face and said, "Lets go back to the cabin." I never got over her hurt nor did I ever go fishing with her again. I wish I had the chance to tie that knot again. That stupid knot changed all the good memories I shared with my mom because all I ever remember is the hurt on her face. I think she also felt guilty about the way that all ended.

[Toni_Lynn]

Hey everyone

I'm sorry if this thread brought up some bad/ sad memories.

I was feeling in a bit of a blue funk when I started it. The mood hasn't gotten any better.

Sorry if I brought a downer into your Friday night!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[trannie T]

Thank you for your contribution to human misery.

As for mine I hated being the fat, totally unathletic kid in PE class.

[LilSissyStevie]

It's easier to remember the good things that happened. Let's see, there was the day my grandmother moved out. That was a wonderful day because it meant that I would only get beatings whenever my dad was out of jail. The rest of the time is wasn't so good. :sad:

[Hope]

Easy - anything that involved a jock-strap. Ugh.

[Krystyna_Marie]

I had some regrettable sexual exploration with my older brother, and an uncle took me skinnydipping down at the creek when I was about 13 and took nude photos of me which I have never seen, and on a later occasion when I was about 15, got me very drunk, enticed me with a young girl (an actress playing a role, it turned out) and molested me. The whole incest thing kinda gave me a dim view of family in general . . .

Other than that, hard to believe but true, it was mostly the American Dream.

that dog story is heartbreaking.

Kisses - KM

[linnea]

I have mostly good memories of my youth and teenage years. There things that I would rather not have had, but those are not things that were "boy" things.
I do wish that I could have had the freedom to express my femininity freely and encouragement to dress and experiment with girly things. I didn't get beaten up but I did get a little teasing because I had fleshy boobs for a boy (not gynocomastia but enough to prompt one kid who saw me when I was getting ready to go swimming at a public beach to say, "You need a bra." I was in the seventh grade at the time, and the comment embarassed me. It also intrigued me because I had been crossdressing for several years by that time, and I thought that maybe I DID need a bra (and what would happen if I wore one all the time?).

[dawnmarrie1961]

Don't feel bad. Every question is personal therapy. Just getting stuff out helps. Thanks for the opportunity to share.

[BillieJoe]

I was very good at being a boy and that was probably the worst thing to ever happen to me because I so desparately wanted to be a girl... If I knew then what I know now...(sigh)

[jessiejess112]

I hated being tested by other boys on whether or not I knew how to fight.
I got into several fights in school because other boys thought I was an easy target ( which I was btw). But I guess it helped me after all, because I did allright in the last couple of fights :D

I'm soooo glad those days are over.

[MissConstrued]

Mah momma was great. Mah daddy was great. Ah'm just a shithead.



That dog story was just f***ed up. Old man too cheap to use a bullet?

[kellycan27]

being................naw I am not gonna say it....:heehee:

[Sammy777]

being................naw I am not gonna say it....:heehee:

What? Cut from the football team? :battingeyelashes:

Being cut as the Pitcher and replacing my friend as the Catcher

[kellycan27]

What? Cut from the football team? :battingeyelashes:

well...kind of, it did have to do with the football team.

[Diane Smith]

My childhood was mostly pretty good. No really serious complaints. My dad was not much of a presence in my life, but I had a very loving and attentive grandfather who mostly made up for it.

I was overweight in grade school, and physically weak, slow and awkward. The type who was always picked last for the sports teams, didn't have any skills, and often didn't know the rules very well. I wish I had been a little more physically in shape at that time. But it didn't ruin my life. I was generally admired for being one of the smart kids, and that compensated to a large degree.

- Diane

[Carole Cross]

The worst part of my childhood was being bullied at school and having to go to an all boys' schjool.

[Joanne f]

I can`t say that there are any as i would have no doubt done the same if i had been a genetic girl (ok apart from the obvious just the other way around if you get what i mean):doh:.
And my hair would only grow out and not down so i kept it fairly short by chose maybe that is why i find females with very short hair very sexy (if i am aloud to use that word ):heehee:

[angelis13]

The boyhood experience i wished i never had were the beatings.
didn't make the football team...beating
didn't make the cricket team....beating
daring to be myself.... major beating
yeah i'd have to say the beatings

Angel

[tricia_uktv]

The only thing that comes to mind is being made to play soldiers at school (I was in the CCF). Other than that I really enjoyed growing up as a boy. I enjoyed and played sports well so was very popular and was in a very loving family. The other thin though, I suppose, was the continual doubt in my mind that I wasn't being my true self. I can't turn the clock back though so am making up for that now, and being a girl is much more fun!

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

was the ritual of gym class showers in High School. Having to take showers in front of other boys. Being a girl inside and having to parade around naked in front of boys.

Didn't like crew cuts either. :battingeyelashes:

[windycissy]

Basic training in the US Army...man, did that suck! I'd curl up in my sleeping bag and curse my fate, wishing I were a cute girl cuddled up with her stuffed animals back home:sad:

[kristinacd55]

Football camp in high school. Made me quit the next year & just play rock n roll in my band. :) Other than that, I had a great childhood that didn't involve enough dress up!

[kymmieLorain]

well where do I start: My child hood was alright until we moved closer to the city. From then on everything changed. I was picked on from 4 grade until high school. I was never popular always one of the last ones picked for the team. I was scared of getting beat up I went home for lunch all through 5th grade.
I never had a girl friend until after I went into the service. I was a nobody from the auto shop, other kids knew me for my car not for me. I had a hard life. even know I have few friends. My best friend is my wife. I never get a call from a friend to go out for coffee or??? It is hard on me but I am coping the best I can. Having been diagnosed with major depression, doesn't help. Hey but life goes on.

Looking back I should have realized my feminine side and maybe started sooned.

Kymmie

[Carly D.]

For me there is so many things that I wished never happened. but I rather think that all the good and bad and happy and sad things contributed to who I am today for better or worse.. so I guess the answer would be... being treated like.. well not very well a few times but.. that's the breaks.. thems the breaks.. that's how the cookie crumbles... the deck is stacked.. the goose is cooked.. yup...

[Bethany38]

Yeah the constant hard-ons for no reason did make things akward. I could have lived without that.

Yeah basically I could have lived without having to do all that boy crap in middle school. Picked last puny kid who ran and threw like a girl... :brolleyes:

Yeah the constant hard-ons for no reason did make things akward. I could have lived without that.

Yeah basically I could have lived without having to do all that boy crap in middle school. Picked last stumpy fat kid who ran and threw like a girl... :brolleyes:
Sorry Nicole I was lazy so I just modified your statement:heehee:


Bethany

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/statusicon/user_online.gif http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/buttons/report.gif (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/report.php?p=1755501)

[dawnmarrie1961]

Just to clarify things a bit.
We didn't own a rifle. So a bullet to the head wasn't an option.
Things were quite a bit different back in those days. When your father asked you to do something...you did it..no questions asked. My dad looked like one of those wrestlers that you see on Monday night "RAW".Nobody said "NO." to him.

Yeah, I didn't have the greatest childhood. So what? I'm not going to blame my father or my mother for where I am today.
I guess that is what makes our generation different today's.

Anyway a question was asked.
I answered it.
nuff said about it.

[Charla McBee]

The only problem I've had with expectations of manhood was probably my time as the worst player on a championship little league baseball team. My parents were not the sort to force you to play a sport and I finally quit after getting into a fist fight on the first day of practice one year. I wasn't a terrible hitter, in fact I loved that part, but when you put me in the outfield because I can't catch and the ball isn't likely to ever come my way, I'm prone to watch nearby anthills instead of the game. So, when the ball did come my way... :D

Then again, I was good at football and that team treated me much the same for whatever reason. Although with football, I also got to be hero for a day twice, when the only real coach I ever had (ie the kind who doesnt make his son the top player and actually evaluates talent) let me debut as a running back late in a game (we ran the same play over and over and I just kept getting first downs until time ran out) and when he set me up to score in what had to be the first and only bowl game that team ever got invited to for actually having a winning record. He moved for his job after one year and it was back to the old coach, so I retired a year later.

Long story short, before I even thought of crossdressing, I played football and baseball and was in the Boy Scouts and every one of those groups wanted to haze and harass me for no good reason. I could never figure out what I did to provoke it, I was as normal as any other boy. That was probably why I loved playing football so much since that was the one place I would be praised rather than punished for beating the crap out of my enemies. They used to try to do the "waterboy" thing to me before that movie even came out and I loved that as much as I hated them.

I think maybe I was too honest as a young kid, never thinking for example, that it was a problem that I did gymnastics from like 3-7 because I had coordination issues. Don't mention that on the sidelines when you are 8. Young boys are always looking for a reason to try and beat you up and make you an outcast.

[freeindress]

School s\/cked: bullying, boys sports.

[loardata]

when i was about 8 i was raped by a female babysitter and then a year late by a 20 year old male-- sure colored the rest of MY life :sad:

[DinaMature]

Other than one's own search for validation (I'm miserable cuz my childhood sucked) I have decided these musings bring little positive.

My family life was a mess, I was always a standout among peers and subjected to much bullying. For me, my good life didn't start until I was 18-20 and even then I was left on life's highway with no map or instruction manual.

Childhood was formative and undeniable. Why dwell on it, enpower it or recycle it? To say I wish this day or that hadn't occurred discounts the entirety of my experience.

[Krystyna_Marie]

For me there is so many things that I wished never happened. but I rather think that all the good and bad and happy and sad things contributed to who I am today for better or worse..

Carly D, I couldn't agree with you more.

[Paige Winslow]

I grew up in wealthy family. Played doctor with French cook's daughter. Got shamed by attractive governess (my role model) for having Playboy mag at nine-years-old. (Hey, I didn't bring in the house, besides, I was very curious about female things.) She woke me up while wearing only underwear once. I was in love! Went to all-boy's boarding school. Got to wear colorful Lilly Pulitzer clothes. Tried on mother's girdles. Attended Beatles concert in 1965. Woodstock too. First kiss at 17. I don't know, I'm pretty contented with the way things went.

[Pattie O]

I tried to do all the boy things and succeeded mostly but I often wanted to do more girly things like wear pretty dresses and have my hair platted and wear bows which was just a dream.

[Lilith Moon]

The bullying from other kids.

The bullying from teachers.

The bullying from parents.

But it wasn't all bad :heehee:

[Christina89]

the worst part for me was being bullied. one time i even hard my life threaten by this on kid i got in fight with. at times i had thoughts of suicide.

[Desiree2bababe]

Getting caught dressed!!

[sometimes_miss]

My childhood was such a disaster-fest that you really could pick anything in my bio as something I could really have done without. But I would have to say the most embarrassing moment, was when I was away at camp, not having reached puberty yet, and having to come out of the ice cold lake water with my genitals shriveled up receding so far back into my body so much that I was mistaken as a girl by the other boys around me, then being brought to the camp nurse to see if I was really a boy or not, and having her examine my 'tiny genitals'. I never wanted to die more than the moment when I had to drop my pants in front of this pretty young woman, then listen to her tell the scoutmaster that although they were quite small, I definitely was a boy.

Or maybe it was when my doctor and my mother were discussing my 'small undeveloped genitals' and I could hear them. I remember thinking that if he had brought her in to show me to her, I would have to jump out the window.

Or being molested. It's really a toss up.

[cindym5_04]

I would say my first concussion when I was playing football with some friends in a churchyard. One went to shove me out of bounds and I went head-first into a wall.


(btw- over my life, I've had about 5 concussions... and can name how I got all of them)