I told my Mom

[Carrie R]

I called my parents today, they live about 3 hours away. Mom and I did the usual chit-chat, then I just kinda came out with it. Having a brother that also CDs, I didn't know if she'd really want to know about another. She did say that I guess we can forget about you ever getting married. I told her I like women very much, and there are women who are OK with it. I said she could see a picture if she wanted, probably shouldn't have said that. Of course she didn't want to. I'll take a couple next time I visit anyways in case she changes her mind. I didn't tell my Dad, not that he would be mad or anything, he just doesn't need to know I think. He is a wonderful Dad.
Maybe when it sinks in a bit Mom will be OK... I did tell her I loved her, I have trouble saying that, don't know why.
Also sent a pic to one of my best friends who moved a few states away several years ago, with the message, "Guess who this is". After guessing it was my brother, I said guess again, he said I don't know. I said, It's me! Surprise! So far all I got back was, this requires an explanation. So I gave him the short version.
So, not many people left to tell about me!

Carrie

[Miranda09]

Wow...good for you Carrie. That must've been a tremendous decision for you to make. Hope everything works out with your parents. Keep us informed. :):hugs:

[Shelly Preston]

Well done Carrie

It not easy to tell parents

[tricia_uktv]

Well done Carrie. It took my Mother around a year to get used to it. Initially she phoned the samaritans! Now I think she is secretly proud of me for my honesty and courage. One thing she has said though is that she never wants to see me dressed. I am her son and that is who I will always be to her. I respect her wishes.

[Carrie R]

I guess I'm kinda hoping she would be curious to see what a daughter would've looked like if she had one. Oh well, things will be fine as long as I don't hit her over the head with it. Maybe I'll get something nice for Christmas this year. :)

[Mollyanne]

Hi Carrie, Being that your brother CD's, does he know that you do also????? Have you told him that him knows about you also?

Mollyanne

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Glad you were able to tell your mother, even if her response was a bit on the cold side. Maybe in time, you'll be able to explain more to her in a way she'll understand. Good luck with it. :)

Not everyone will get it, as I'm sure you understand. You can put it out there, express who you are to the best of your ability, and you STILL might get "You need professional help. We'll get through this - I'll help you through your problem..." Some people will always believe that we have a problem, and don't understand that the real problem is in how society views us, and not in who we are.

I hope it goes a little better with the remaining people you choose to tell. :)

Btw - I think it's really cool that you have a cd brother! Would be cool if I did, then my brother could be my sister too. :heehee: More importantly, we'd finally have something in common.

[Georgia Rose]

Hi Carrie, I'm unaware of your age but as a somewhat older CDer I can guess some of the reasons your mother has reservations with 2 CDing sons. Also don't know if you have other siblings.

Mothers generally count on their children maintaining the tradition. That is meeting someone of the opposite sex, generally marrying and having children. Parents actually look forward to the day when they will have grandchildren. Your mother is probably concerned she may never have any fathered by you or your brother.

We (CDers on CDs.com) know this could be completely on the wrong track but your mother doesn't know what we know. Take it easy with her and give her some re-assurance that your just a normal guy who likes to be a women sometimes (at least that's the take I get from your post).

Hope it works out well for both you and your mother.

:drink:

[Teri Jean]

Carrie,
I have not told my mother but many of my friends (gg) have been told and just a couple days ago I told a co-worker who is my age. She knew I was getting more feminine with having my nails done, ears peirced and change in clothes. She said the pictures I sent her was my daughter but then after close inspection she realized it was me.
It seems there are some who deal with it better than others. Congradulations.

Keli

[LisaM]

Carrie,

That must be a big relief for you. Take your time with your mother. Give her a chance to think and learn about it. Hopefully, in time, she will want to see a picture of you as a girl.

[Rachel Morley]

Telling people that are important in your life can be "fraught with danger" ... in the sense that you so want to tell them because it's an important thing in your life that makes you happy, and of course, you want them to be as happy about it as you are. I'm also thinking that you perhaps think that you look cute (going on your avatar pic you certainly are) and so perhaps you're hoping that they'll be amazed at the transformation. Maybe your Mom might be pleasantly surprised how good you look if she got the chance to see, but I don't recommend you force this on her. As you say, once it settles in ... as you already have a brother that CDs curiosity might get the better of her (maybe?).

I wouldn't worry about the "I guess we can forget about you ever getting married" comment. A GG friend I once told when I was single said the same sort of thing to me. She said "I can't see any woman wanting a guy who likes wearing women's clothes". A few years later I met my wife on CDing forum. :)

[Carrie R]

Mollyanne- Yes, my brother and I know about each other, he was the first one I told about me.

Gabrielle Hermosa- Actually I am seeing a therapist now, so she couldn't tell me to get professional help! My therapist is fine with this.

Georgia Rose- I'm 39 and I have 2 older brothers, the middle one also being a CD. I guess at my age she was a bit worried already that I wouldn't get married, just haven't met the right one yet. I also haven't put myself in social situations much due to social anxiety. Getting better now.

Rachel Morley- Yeah, I won't force it on her, but hopefully how she won't pester me to get a haircut anymore!

Thanks for the support everyone! :hugs:

Carrie

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Gabrielle Hermosa- Actually I am seeing a therapist now, so she couldn't tell me to get professional help! My therapist is fine with this.

Yeah, me too. Mine is also fine with crossdressing. He explains it as one of many personal traits people are born with. As he puts it, we (cd's) all start out as very normal people until society fills our heads with the BS. That is why many of us end up in therapy - because of how we're treated by society, NOT because we're cd's.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Good for you! I'm glad you had the courage to tell your mother before you went to visit. That's always important.

I made the mistake of forgetting to.Yeah , That was stupid!
We hadn't seen each other in almost 10 yrs. When she came to pick me up at the bus station she walked right by me. Then I said "Mom." She recognized my voice and turned around. Her jaw practically hit the floor!

She scolded me during the whole car ride to her house. I deserved every bit of it.

It's always important to give some one the heads up before showing up for a visit.

[Carrie R]

It's a three hour drive to my parents... I won't be going dressed up! Certainly won't force it on them. Anymore, anyways.

[RobertaM]

Carrie , take it slow gurl, good that you recognize that, from what i can see you have been pushing the change in your life big time. Make sure you step back and think of the big picture.

[DonnaT]

I think showing your mother a photo might be a good idea. She may have a different image in her mind, and a real one could help.

It did with my mom. She saw my picture (head shot) accidentally, and asked me who it was. She didn't believe me at first, but was soon convinced. She's been great about it.

Good luck.

[Diane_2902]

my wife told my mom and my dad and they took it beter then i thought now my mom and dad know and ther frends and famaley and so far every one is ok with it some even sed that that explance some things

[Carola]

I have thought about told to other people that are really close to me but i realized that if my relationship with them is good, why do i need to tell them?
If there is no posibility of improve it (because it's already good enough) the only chances are that it stay the same or go down the hill. Then, i took the option about do not tell it to anybody, but it's only my personal decision and i'm not trying to criticize anyone.
Perhaps, you are happier now and that for itself is a reason that worth everything you have done, and if that's the situation, i share the happiness.

[Carrie R]

I've never been happier!
Next time I visit, I will take a photo, but I will first wait to see if she brings it up. I usually stay for 2 nights when I go, and we talk plenty, so I would hope she will mention it. I could tell her I am proud of my photos perhaps?

[Miranda09]

I've never been happier!
Next time I visit, I will take a photo, but I will first wait to see if she brings it up. I usually stay for 2 nights when I go, and we talk plenty, so I would hope she will mention it. I could tell her I am proud of my photos perhaps?

I think showing the photos would be a great idea, if she's interested in seeing them. I think she would be very pleasantly surprised at how great you look. :)

[o2bcindy]

congrats hun wish i was as brave as you are:hugs:

[cindym5_04]

Even though your mom didn't sound thrilled, it's a much better reaction than my mom gave me when she went hunting through my closet and found all of my stuff. Congrats on telling her- and I think you look amazing!

[Honeygirl]

Carrie I think you are very brave and I kno my Mother would be horrified and terribly upset if I told her about my CDing.

I admire you and I have enjoyed reading your comments, Do keep us all updated?

Hugs
Honey:)

[cindyscute]

Good for you Carrie. I never had a chance to tell my mom, she's been gone for 14 years. She used to say I was suppose to be the girl of the family. So I guess I am :heehee:

[Carrie R]

Thanks everyone! I'll talk to them next Sunday for Father's Day, so I will have an update then. Also, I won't be telling Dad. Especially not on his day! Really no reason to, but I've told pretty much everyone else!

[lesley jay]

Carrie if i looked like you on your photo i would not have a problem telling anybody as they would not believe i was a guy.i am glad you have told your mom,i would like to have told my mom hoping it would become like a mother daughter relationship between us but unfortunately my mother likes to drink lots of wine and has a loose tongue when she had a drink,so i guess its safer not to tell her,so sad she will never know that she did have the daughter that she always wanted.

[Carrie R]

Well, I talked to my parents today, and wished Dad a happy Father's Day of course!
While talking to my Mom, she never brought up my crossdressing. Didn't think she would. I was invited to stay with them sometime next month, so if anything should happen , it would be then. I'll try not to bring it up though.
I will next talk to Mom on her birthday early next month, not a day to talk about crossdressing!

[Pooht]

You should take me and my kids to see your mom. :devil:

Just kidding...your doing fine. You've done your part by deciding to tell her, the rest is up to her. :hugs: