Being transgendered – would you wish it on your son?

[Sapphire]

It is tempting to assert that being transgendered is a condition bringing with it a richer experience of life and that it is not appropriate to use terms such as “cure” or “treatment” in relation to cross-dressing.

Yet being transgendered presents a complex set of problems so deeply ingrained that they very often lead to serious difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships and complying with important societal norms.

While most of the contributors to this site (including myself) have learned to enjoy being transgendered there is a significant downside.

Leaving aside how well you have adapted to being transgendered, I am presenting this thought experiment:

Assume that you could somehow opt for an unborn son to develop as either transgendered or not transgendered.

Would you avail of option (a) or (b)

(a) Yes – I opt for him to be transgendered
(b) No – I opt for him not to be transgendered

And for the sake of the experiment let us assume that mental and physical health is otherwise assured and not dependant on gender.

As for my own response, it would be (b).

Over to you.

[Pattie O]

I would not choose for him to be transgendered but if he was I would still support him 100% so I suppose the easy answer would be (b) but does it really matter??
Pattie:daydreaming::battingeyelashes:

[trannie T]

I do not know why anyone would opt to be transgendered. But as it is not our choice we must make the best of it. If I had a child hopefully I would support them in whatever they did.

[ptp009]

If I knew what I knew now, I woould want my son to be brought up from the start as Transgendered because I think it is a better way of life for him and would want him to be girlist right from the start. I didn't start till late in life and I wish IU would have been brought up that way.

[TxKimberly]

I would not choose for him to be transgendered but if he was I would still support him 100% so I suppose the easy answer would be (b) but does it really matter??
Pattie:daydreaming::battingeyelashes:


Yeah, what she said!

[CharleneT]

Honestly, I could not wish this condition on my worst enemy.

[dawnmarrie1961]

It's a no brainer. "B". Of course! Knowing what "We" know and having lived through what "We" have. What kind of loving parent would wish that upon their own children??

The answer is "B"..."B"..."B"!!!!
"A" is not an option. Ever!!
And since both "A" and "B" are not matter of choice, in regards to the transgendered. They question is therefore "irrelevant".

[Deedee Dupree]

Without a doubt, B.

[christinek]

"B" I am what I am and have to hide what I am most of the time.

I do not wish this on my 15 year old son. He knows what I am and is SO-SO with it but I do not wish this burden on him.
:2c:

[Sammy777]

If I knew what I knew now, I woould want my son to be brought up from the start as Transgendered because I think it is a better way of life for him and would want him to be girlist right from the start. I didn't start till late in life and I wish IU would have been brought up that way.

:eek::eek: I'm sorry....... But are you FRACKIN NUTS?

Talk about reliving your unforfilled life through your son.

You would Want/Wish for him to be girlest from the start?
Why? so you can dress him up in pretty little dresses and enter him in pageants?

Did you misread the question?
Did you not see the other option?
Why the Frack would ANYONE want this for their kid.

Geezzz thanks a pant load for all the future BS I'm going to go through dad.

Oh and don't worry, that father of the year award is in the mail.
And that ticking is the free travel alarm clock, so just ignore it... K!

[DaphneGrey]

If I knew what I knew now, I woould want my son to be brought up from the start as Transgendered because I think it is a better way of life for him and would want him to be girlist right from the start. I didn't start till late in life and I wish IU would have been brought up that way.

I am a little confused, are you saying you would try and make your son Transgendered?

Or are you saying you would support him if he was?

I mean you are or your not, its kind of no brainer don't you think?


















/

[Ralph]

Not. On. Your. Life.

I have walked a thin line with him over the years, both celebrating his unique personality and warning him that standing out too much carries with it the risk of getting beaten down. I made it clear that anything he wants to do or be that sets him apart from the crowd (and in the process makes his life rough) I'm behind him all the way, but he has to decide for himself how much "uniqueness" is worth the inevitable torches and pitchforks carried by angry villagers who live in fear of anything different.

[tricia_uktv]

Actually although my answer would be no, it wouldn't worry me if he was. There is a great deal of enjoyment and fun in being transgendered.

[Dana]

Honestly, I could not wish this condition on my worst enemy.

Its not curse!

Read "Brain Sex"

[sally rebecca]

No, I would not wish it on him. Even though, I myself would not chose not to be.

There is a lot of fun and enjoyment to be had from being TG and I could argue it's made me a better person, but there also can be fear, hate, rejection, confusion and self doubt.

However I will continue to support and love him whatever he turns out or chooses to be (except a banker, in which case I will disown him).

Love Sally

[Deborah Jane]

Option B without a doubt!!

I wouldn't wish this path on anyone who didn't have to take it, but if one of my sons turns out to be transgendered at some point in their lives, obviously i'll support them 100%

[Empress Lainie]

I would choose B, I would not wish anyone to ever have to live with mismatched sex and gender ID.

I am a transexual woman (non-op for various reasons) and have never been happier in my entire life, even with the downside that went with it, like being unemployed for 2 years, and facing living on the street.

I wonder why you didn't also address a daughter being a transman, but the answer would be the same.

[lisa marseau]

I would not wish this on anyone. Altho it can be fun at times. Isn't life hard enough as it is already? Atleast for me this is not a choice. Being a CD is part of who I am and I have to live with it.

[Jenniferpl]

Although it has made me a better person I would not want this for anyone.

[DianneW]

I have 2 sons and I'm pretty sure they are not TG or CD but I would love them just the same no matter what.

[TGMarla]

No.

Despite the richness of the experiences, I wouldn't wish this on my dog. But then, I really like my dogs, too.

[Shikyo]

The answer would be of course B.

Being transgendered is not that easy, it makes your life a lot harder and takes out a lot out of your money. Why would I want my own child to go through the same things I'm going right now?

However, in the case my child would be transgendered, I would support her/him from the moment I would know about it to make it as easy as possible for them.

[ChristineRenee]

In a word...no. Though I'm not ashamed to be TG and feel that I have dealt with things throughout my life about as well as could be expected...I know how difficult it is in this society to be TG, and especially to be TS, and I couldn't in good conscious wish that on any of my children, if I had any. So obviously I'd pick option B. But that said, if I did have children, and if any of them were CD/TG/TS, I would fully support them and help them with it as much as I could.

[Georgia Rose]

It seems nearly everyone agrees No and so do I. Not that I would miss this for anything but generally having to hide it away from most people is a pain. However like most others if a son was he would get 100% support.

[xAnne_Mariex]

I wouldn't wish it on him, but i'd embrace it and support him every step of the way if he was.

I suppose if there was a choice i'd say maybe make it so he isn't as I know society isn't always accepting of us, but it's a bit of a tough question for me lol

[battybattybats]

Well I'd choose C) whatever the child will be.

That said I'd have no troubles if I have a child if they are TG.
And also I would prefer that if anyone were to have a TG kid that they'd be an accepting parent rather than an unaccepting one.

Being TG is only at all negative in the slightest because transphobia arose. So I'd rather reduce or end transphobia.

As even if I never have kids there will still be plenty of TG kids anyway. I have at least one cousin whose at least a little gender non-conforming, but there will be TG kids in every generation, every school. Someone has to make their lives better!

And as a Goth and a victim of school bullying standing out is fine. The people who attack the different are the wrong ones and giving in to them is like giving in to terrorists, it encourages them and makes their actions more widespread. Instead they should be defied. And bystandders who stand back and watch are also culpable for the climate of bullying that exists.

[LisaM]

I would vote 'B'. I would not wish this condition on anyone.

But like Anne Marie just wrote---If he was then I'd support him thoroughly.

[Suzy Harrison]

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

It's taken years for me to come to terms with this and finally start to fix it once and for all.

Basically it's been a lifetimes work just to begin to join the gender I was robbed of when I was born

[KarenSusan]

Honestly, I could not wish this condition on my worst enemy.

:yt: I agree (b).

[Rachel Morley]

If you mean "being transgendered" to mean being a transsexual then of course, B. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

However, if you mean transgendered to be a crossdresser .... while I wouldn't "wish it upon him" I do think that there are some good things about crossdressing (there are for me anyway) like feeling a little bit of empathy toward women, small things like knowing just how long it takes to get ready, how much shoes can hurt your feet at the end of the night, how certain clothes need certain underwear and how uncomfortable that tight underwear can be sometimes, and how there is a social pressure to always look beautiful. If he liked dressing in pretty things I'd definitely encourage it.

[nicky]

the decision is his but in my life it has made me a stronger more opened minded person and i would support him/her either wayand consider ing im expecting my first in november this is a strong topic for me

[occdresser]

It is what it is. but if he did crossdress I would have to kick his a&*(. :devil: no for real, I would support him and buy him a new wardrobe!

[Stephanie32]

This is where the rubber meets the road. You can moan and whine about society all you want. Politics aside. You put away all your narcissism because you want what's best for your kids. This isn't it. I'd rather catch my son with a girl (or 2) in his bedroom, than dressing like one. Afterward, I'd rather smile and have an "ataboy" feeling as a dad, than have "the talk." I'd rather spend time with the boy restoring a classic car, or going to a Dodger game, than going shopping.

These are much more pleasant thoughts, than asking a school principle or a football coach to make special considerations for my transgendered son. If denied, then I don't want to fight a school board or with other traditionalist parents, that are just as hell bent and stubborn in their cause as myself. I'd rather not have to worry constantly about my son getting beaten up or crying because he was picked on for being different. The stress is not worth it. So yeah. B

[AmandaM]

Hell no. If I could remove it from myself, I would. Male or female is better than in-between. I'd rather be one or the other.

[Miranda09]

Hmmm. Some interesting responses here so far. For me, based on my experiences, especially lately, I would put a condition on your choices. First, yes, I would opt for A, being transgendered. Why? Because this would allow him the opportunity to begin an understanding of women, and hopefully, would result in more succfessful future relationships. As far as I'm concerned, being transgendered is NOT a curse. We are still living under the silly Victorian ideals of sexuality and gender identification. In reality, it's not so simple. So yes, it would be an important education for him. With that said, I would put in a sci-fi condition, if you will, to allow him the option of retaining or giving up his transgendered identity if he so chooses at any time he chooses.

[Sophie Lynne]

I'll join the chorus of B.


We walk a hard road. Very hard. For whatever reason, we move outside of societal norms and dress like women when we are not. While this can bring great satisfaction, it can and does bring great pain. I would not wish the pain and confusion on my child.

Of course, if he were, I'd give him support.

[Karen564]

Honestly, I could not wish this condition on my worst enemy.

I totally agree with that too...

Only because being a TS my whole life, I know 1st hand the pain & anguish is overwhelming..