Heather Anne
06-13-2009, 11:11 PM
My First Year Out Of The Closet
I am 55 yrs old. I started wearing my sister’s clothes as a teenager. I have no idea how many times my parents caught me wearing my sister’s clothes. After graduation from high school I went into the military. Being single in the military and living in the barracks there was no opportunity to dress up. While in the military I got married and had 2 girls. Again there was no opportunity to dress up. Although there were a few occasions I wore some of my wife’s clothes. She never caught me. A couple of times the 2 girls caught me but I tried to come up with some silly excuse. July 1988 I retired from the military. After 27 yrs of marriage my wife decided to move out during the summer of 2000. It was not over crossdressing because I was not crossdressing at the time nor did I have any feminine clothing. After she moved out I started buying things. First was lingerie, panties, bras, slips, stockings, pantyhose,etc. As time went by I started buying clothes. If memory serves, I purged twice (which I regret since I had a couple of favorite outfits).
My first time completely dressed and made-up as a woman happened on February 28, 2004. I had found out through the Internet that there was a woman that does makeovers for crossdressers. After several emails I finally scheduled makeover session with her. To say that I was nervous would be a major understatement. It was the first time I had ever dressed up completely in front of another person, let alone a stranger. After arriving and changing clothes and getting started I relaxed and had a good time. This was the very first time anyone had seen me wearing women’s clothes let alone wearing makeup and a wig. It was during this session that I had the opportunity to wear breastforms! Within a month of I had purchased my own pair of breastforms. It was through this lady that I found out about Sigma Epsilon Atlanta. I called the number for Sigma Epsilon and after a long conversation was invited to attend the next meeting which would be in March 2004.
Since I live alone I have the freedom to wear feminine clothes all the time when I am home. I do wear women’s underwear when I am away from home. However there are some exceptions, such as not wearing anything to work or to a doctor’s appointment.
Friday, March 11, 2005 will mark the first anniversary of attending my first Sigma Epsilon Atlanta Tri Ess meeting. March 2004 was the first time I met other crossdressers. It was a weekend like no other I had ever had in my entire life. It was a weekend of firsts. On Saturday, March 12, 2004 was the first time people saw me completely made-up and dressed as a woman. I arrived early Saturday morning, changed clothes and had makeup applied and a wig was provided. Saturday morning is also when Sigma Epsilon has a newcomers meeting, which I took part in. After the newcomers meeting was over we went to lunch. It was the first time I ventured out in public completely made-up and dressed as a woman. My first time out in public we walked to a nearby Ruby Tuesday for lunch. This was in the middle of Atlanta on a major street near a major Atlanta mall. Saturday evening we went out to dinner to a placed called The Red Chair. Afterwards we returned to the hotel suite. I decided to go home dressed en femme.
My second Sigma Epsilon meeting was in April. After lunch on Saturday I wanted to go to a store that carried formal evening gowns. Sigma Epsilon was having their annual Spring Cotillion in May (think Senior Prom) and I would need a formal evening gown. Three members of Sigma Epsilon agreed to accompany me. Cheryl H. volunteered to drive. She had just bought a new Jeep Cherokee. I was successful in finding an evening gown that I liked and it fit like a glove!
Last year I set up a feminine personality on Yahoo and joined numerous Yahoo groups dealing with crossdressing / being transgendered. I did this for the main reason to keep my male self apart from my feminine side. It has been through this avenue of the Internet that I have found a lot of information and met a lot of people over the Internet. During the months that followed my first makeover and attending Sigma Epsilon I would post a message about what I had done, what I felt, what I was going through. I received a lot of messages back encouraging me to keep going and to be myself and have fun. It was during these messages that I found out there is a fairly large TG community in the Atlanta area. (If anyone reading this is interested in the messages that I posted, join the Yahoo group, “atlantatransgendered”. There you will find the messages I posted under the name “heathermariethomas” or “heatherannethomas”. The messages would have been posted starting around March 2004. It has been quite some time since I posted any new messages though.
As far as shopping for clothes, lingerie, makeup, wigs, etc. I have bought some clothes locally and some over the Internet. I have yet to go to a store while in boy mode and ask to try on a dress. I don’t believe that I will ever do that. I have walked around some malls dressed en femme but that is about all. I am comfortable with going into a store and buying clothes, makeup, lingerie, etc. I have gone to a Lane Bryant store in a local mall and been measured and fitted for bras. I was in male mode at the time.
Since March 2004 I have been out in public to several Atlanta restaurants and shopping malls. I never ever thought that I would ever be walking around a major Atlanta shopping mall while dressed en femme. To date, I have done just that several times. The first time was when a member of Sigma Epsilon had a makeover at the MAC Cosmetics Store in Perimeter Mall. I remember that after walking into the mall I heard an individual give a “wolf whistle”! I did not react, I just kept walking! Another time was when I went to the same MAC store for a complete makeover. Actually, I did that twice. Another time I went on a shopping trip to a mall during the Southern Comfort Conference 2004. The last time was during a Sigma Epsilon weekend when a group went shopping in the same mall, North DeKalb Mall. During the past year I found out about a group called “Southern Belle Society”. The Southern Belle Society is a group that gets together and does things together. It is strictly a social group.
Last year I found out about an annual convention held in Atlanta called “Southern Comfort Conference”. The conference is for everyone of the TG community. I found out the conference has a scholarship program. I applied for and received a full scholarship to attend the entire conference. The registration fee was $300.00. All that I would have to pay for was hotel room, parking, and some meals. I found out that a CD friend of mine, Caley, would be attending the conference and was willing to share the hotel room and split the cost. I made arrangements to meet Caley in the hotel room we were to share. The conference started on Wednesday morning and went through Saturday evening. To end the conference there was a formal banquet. This would be the second time I had the opportunity to wear my formal evening gown. What a week that was! To be honest though, by Saturday evening, I was ready to head home and be my male self again. But I did have a lot of fun and met a lot of people. It was during one particular evening that I joined The Southern Belle Society. A friend from Sigma Epsilon was also there and also joined. As many times I have been out en femme during Sigma Epsilon functions or Southern Belle Society socials, I have yet to have any problems, confrontations, or hassles from anyone. And that includes using the ladies restroom!
While all of this was going on I found out that my daughter knew some things about my desire to wear women’s clothes but not everything. I found out she knew a few years before all of this started. When exactly I do not know. Once we knew what each other knew things changed. My relationship with my daughter did not changed however. Over a period of time she learned more and more and finally she knew everything. I told I had joined a support group in Atlanta. That I had been dressing all the way to include makeup, wig, breastforms, etc. That I had been going out in public dressed as a woman. At first she did not want to see anything. I had decided that I would not bring up the subject but if she asked me anything then I would answer her completely and honestly. One of the things that I told her from the very beginning was that I have no intentions of transitioning, living full time as a woman, no surgery of any kind and that I am not gay. That all I would be doing would be dressing up as a woman and meeting others such as myself. I left it up to her to ask questions. Over time she did and she learned about everything I had been doing. In fact, during one of the Sigma Epsilon weekend she accompanied me to a Saturday morning meeting and took part in the newcomers meeting. She has told me that she is okay with my crossdressing. That all she wants is for me to be happy and content with myself. We do not always agree on some of the things I have such as wigs, clothes, shoes. There are a few things she likes. Some things she things are “granny” clothes! In one of my daughter’s early emails she entered a side note that I think shows she has a sense of humor about this. She said, “By the way, you are not borrowing any of my clothes!” I had a good laugh when I read that.
Last year there was another milestone in my life concerning my crossdressing. During a particular telephone conversation with my sister I finally told her everything. My sister knew about my wearing female clothes because as a teenager I was always getting into her things. Anyway I told her I had been wearing women’s clothes again. I told her I had finally accepted this part of me. She said, “Well, it is about time!” She is okay with my crossdressing. I also told her I had joined a support group in Atlanta and she thought thatwas a great idea. I asked her if her husband knew and she said he does and it is okay with him.
Last year there were times I wanted to get rid of everything and quit crossdressing. Why I do not know. I decided not to “purge” at the time but to let things take their own course and see where they led me. A few years ago I had purged everything I had twice. I feel that I have come to terms with my need and desire to crossdress. The need /desire to crossdress will not go away. As often as I have been out dressed en femme, I still at times get apprehensive or nervous about being recognized. But now I don’t worry about being recognized as much as I used to in the beginning.
Last year I purchased some books on crossdressing. I have done a lot of reading about crossdressing. I believe I have gained some insight about my need and desire to crossdress. Some of the material is humorous, some pretty deep in content. I have listened to members of Sigma Epsilon, both the crossdresser and the wife. I have read a lot of messages posted to some of the Yahoo groups that deal with crossdressing. One thing I have decided is that if I ever meet someone special and it looks like I will get married, I will tell her about my crossdressing long before we get married. I will not keep it a secret going into a marriage.
I look back over the past year and wonder where I would be today if I had not had my first makeover. If I had not attended my first Sigma Epsilon meeting. At times I wonder if I made the right decision to attend that first meeting. I am content and happy with who I am. I have not missed a Sigma Epsilon weekend since attending that first meeting / weekend.
I am 55 yrs old. I started wearing my sister’s clothes as a teenager. I have no idea how many times my parents caught me wearing my sister’s clothes. After graduation from high school I went into the military. Being single in the military and living in the barracks there was no opportunity to dress up. While in the military I got married and had 2 girls. Again there was no opportunity to dress up. Although there were a few occasions I wore some of my wife’s clothes. She never caught me. A couple of times the 2 girls caught me but I tried to come up with some silly excuse. July 1988 I retired from the military. After 27 yrs of marriage my wife decided to move out during the summer of 2000. It was not over crossdressing because I was not crossdressing at the time nor did I have any feminine clothing. After she moved out I started buying things. First was lingerie, panties, bras, slips, stockings, pantyhose,etc. As time went by I started buying clothes. If memory serves, I purged twice (which I regret since I had a couple of favorite outfits).
My first time completely dressed and made-up as a woman happened on February 28, 2004. I had found out through the Internet that there was a woman that does makeovers for crossdressers. After several emails I finally scheduled makeover session with her. To say that I was nervous would be a major understatement. It was the first time I had ever dressed up completely in front of another person, let alone a stranger. After arriving and changing clothes and getting started I relaxed and had a good time. This was the very first time anyone had seen me wearing women’s clothes let alone wearing makeup and a wig. It was during this session that I had the opportunity to wear breastforms! Within a month of I had purchased my own pair of breastforms. It was through this lady that I found out about Sigma Epsilon Atlanta. I called the number for Sigma Epsilon and after a long conversation was invited to attend the next meeting which would be in March 2004.
Since I live alone I have the freedom to wear feminine clothes all the time when I am home. I do wear women’s underwear when I am away from home. However there are some exceptions, such as not wearing anything to work or to a doctor’s appointment.
Friday, March 11, 2005 will mark the first anniversary of attending my first Sigma Epsilon Atlanta Tri Ess meeting. March 2004 was the first time I met other crossdressers. It was a weekend like no other I had ever had in my entire life. It was a weekend of firsts. On Saturday, March 12, 2004 was the first time people saw me completely made-up and dressed as a woman. I arrived early Saturday morning, changed clothes and had makeup applied and a wig was provided. Saturday morning is also when Sigma Epsilon has a newcomers meeting, which I took part in. After the newcomers meeting was over we went to lunch. It was the first time I ventured out in public completely made-up and dressed as a woman. My first time out in public we walked to a nearby Ruby Tuesday for lunch. This was in the middle of Atlanta on a major street near a major Atlanta mall. Saturday evening we went out to dinner to a placed called The Red Chair. Afterwards we returned to the hotel suite. I decided to go home dressed en femme.
My second Sigma Epsilon meeting was in April. After lunch on Saturday I wanted to go to a store that carried formal evening gowns. Sigma Epsilon was having their annual Spring Cotillion in May (think Senior Prom) and I would need a formal evening gown. Three members of Sigma Epsilon agreed to accompany me. Cheryl H. volunteered to drive. She had just bought a new Jeep Cherokee. I was successful in finding an evening gown that I liked and it fit like a glove!
Last year I set up a feminine personality on Yahoo and joined numerous Yahoo groups dealing with crossdressing / being transgendered. I did this for the main reason to keep my male self apart from my feminine side. It has been through this avenue of the Internet that I have found a lot of information and met a lot of people over the Internet. During the months that followed my first makeover and attending Sigma Epsilon I would post a message about what I had done, what I felt, what I was going through. I received a lot of messages back encouraging me to keep going and to be myself and have fun. It was during these messages that I found out there is a fairly large TG community in the Atlanta area. (If anyone reading this is interested in the messages that I posted, join the Yahoo group, “atlantatransgendered”. There you will find the messages I posted under the name “heathermariethomas” or “heatherannethomas”. The messages would have been posted starting around March 2004. It has been quite some time since I posted any new messages though.
As far as shopping for clothes, lingerie, makeup, wigs, etc. I have bought some clothes locally and some over the Internet. I have yet to go to a store while in boy mode and ask to try on a dress. I don’t believe that I will ever do that. I have walked around some malls dressed en femme but that is about all. I am comfortable with going into a store and buying clothes, makeup, lingerie, etc. I have gone to a Lane Bryant store in a local mall and been measured and fitted for bras. I was in male mode at the time.
Since March 2004 I have been out in public to several Atlanta restaurants and shopping malls. I never ever thought that I would ever be walking around a major Atlanta shopping mall while dressed en femme. To date, I have done just that several times. The first time was when a member of Sigma Epsilon had a makeover at the MAC Cosmetics Store in Perimeter Mall. I remember that after walking into the mall I heard an individual give a “wolf whistle”! I did not react, I just kept walking! Another time was when I went to the same MAC store for a complete makeover. Actually, I did that twice. Another time I went on a shopping trip to a mall during the Southern Comfort Conference 2004. The last time was during a Sigma Epsilon weekend when a group went shopping in the same mall, North DeKalb Mall. During the past year I found out about a group called “Southern Belle Society”. The Southern Belle Society is a group that gets together and does things together. It is strictly a social group.
Last year I found out about an annual convention held in Atlanta called “Southern Comfort Conference”. The conference is for everyone of the TG community. I found out the conference has a scholarship program. I applied for and received a full scholarship to attend the entire conference. The registration fee was $300.00. All that I would have to pay for was hotel room, parking, and some meals. I found out that a CD friend of mine, Caley, would be attending the conference and was willing to share the hotel room and split the cost. I made arrangements to meet Caley in the hotel room we were to share. The conference started on Wednesday morning and went through Saturday evening. To end the conference there was a formal banquet. This would be the second time I had the opportunity to wear my formal evening gown. What a week that was! To be honest though, by Saturday evening, I was ready to head home and be my male self again. But I did have a lot of fun and met a lot of people. It was during one particular evening that I joined The Southern Belle Society. A friend from Sigma Epsilon was also there and also joined. As many times I have been out en femme during Sigma Epsilon functions or Southern Belle Society socials, I have yet to have any problems, confrontations, or hassles from anyone. And that includes using the ladies restroom!
While all of this was going on I found out that my daughter knew some things about my desire to wear women’s clothes but not everything. I found out she knew a few years before all of this started. When exactly I do not know. Once we knew what each other knew things changed. My relationship with my daughter did not changed however. Over a period of time she learned more and more and finally she knew everything. I told I had joined a support group in Atlanta. That I had been dressing all the way to include makeup, wig, breastforms, etc. That I had been going out in public dressed as a woman. At first she did not want to see anything. I had decided that I would not bring up the subject but if she asked me anything then I would answer her completely and honestly. One of the things that I told her from the very beginning was that I have no intentions of transitioning, living full time as a woman, no surgery of any kind and that I am not gay. That all I would be doing would be dressing up as a woman and meeting others such as myself. I left it up to her to ask questions. Over time she did and she learned about everything I had been doing. In fact, during one of the Sigma Epsilon weekend she accompanied me to a Saturday morning meeting and took part in the newcomers meeting. She has told me that she is okay with my crossdressing. That all she wants is for me to be happy and content with myself. We do not always agree on some of the things I have such as wigs, clothes, shoes. There are a few things she likes. Some things she things are “granny” clothes! In one of my daughter’s early emails she entered a side note that I think shows she has a sense of humor about this. She said, “By the way, you are not borrowing any of my clothes!” I had a good laugh when I read that.
Last year there was another milestone in my life concerning my crossdressing. During a particular telephone conversation with my sister I finally told her everything. My sister knew about my wearing female clothes because as a teenager I was always getting into her things. Anyway I told her I had been wearing women’s clothes again. I told her I had finally accepted this part of me. She said, “Well, it is about time!” She is okay with my crossdressing. I also told her I had joined a support group in Atlanta and she thought thatwas a great idea. I asked her if her husband knew and she said he does and it is okay with him.
Last year there were times I wanted to get rid of everything and quit crossdressing. Why I do not know. I decided not to “purge” at the time but to let things take their own course and see where they led me. A few years ago I had purged everything I had twice. I feel that I have come to terms with my need and desire to crossdress. The need /desire to crossdress will not go away. As often as I have been out dressed en femme, I still at times get apprehensive or nervous about being recognized. But now I don’t worry about being recognized as much as I used to in the beginning.
Last year I purchased some books on crossdressing. I have done a lot of reading about crossdressing. I believe I have gained some insight about my need and desire to crossdress. Some of the material is humorous, some pretty deep in content. I have listened to members of Sigma Epsilon, both the crossdresser and the wife. I have read a lot of messages posted to some of the Yahoo groups that deal with crossdressing. One thing I have decided is that if I ever meet someone special and it looks like I will get married, I will tell her about my crossdressing long before we get married. I will not keep it a secret going into a marriage.
I look back over the past year and wonder where I would be today if I had not had my first makeover. If I had not attended my first Sigma Epsilon meeting. At times I wonder if I made the right decision to attend that first meeting. I am content and happy with who I am. I have not missed a Sigma Epsilon weekend since attending that first meeting / weekend.