What if you lost the urge?

[Kate Simmons]

What would you do if all of a sudden you woke up one day and the urge to crossdress was gone? No matter what you tried to do to get re-interested nothing worked and getting dressed and made up was no more interesting to you than putting on a pair of socks. Would you do it anyway or would you find a new interest and new direction for your life? I know some will say that can never happen and the urge never goes away but don't be so sure. Do you have contingency plans if it does?

[Emma England]

There has never been a day where I have not wanted to wear something feminine.

Wearing clothes and makeup is part of an everyday routine.
It is neither interesting nor uninteresting.

[deja true]

Contingency plans?

Why force yourself to do something you have no desire to do?

Lord knows there's plenty of other stuff to do in life if the urge to dress isn't there...

It's a joyful activity for me, not a desperate obsession!

:)

[PretzelGirl]

I'm with Deja True. I don't see the "urge" going away as it is something I enjoy and not an "I gotta" type of thing. But if I didn't want to do it, lord knows there are plenty of other things to do. There certainly is no need to force the issue. Just move on to something else I enjoy.

If it was extended, I would just box it all up just in case (no purging). If there is one thing I learned from others here. . .

[StacyCD]

I sometimes think about winning the powerball although it's very unlikely. However, I don't think it's possible for me to think of losing the urge to dress. Perhaps because I get to dress only infrequently that it still has a 'taboo' appeal. If I were able to dress 24/7 it might lose some of the appeal especially since I only want to dress part-time. I guess if it ever happens I'll have to cross that bridge.

[DianneRoberts]

Ups and downs, I'd say.
Just that time of the month ????

Isn't there a saying about setting something free and if it is meant to be it will come back to you ?

Ba a good time not to shave, anything.
Wear guy clothes pulled out of the dirty laundry pile.

Watch TV in just your guy boxer shorts.

Enjoy

[tricia_uktv]

I can't see it just now and think I'm too far down the road. But a good point Arianna. I guess (know) that at some stage it willo come back with a vengance.

[Cheryl T]

This is not something I "do"...
It's who I am and that is not going to change.

In conversation one night a sister responded to someone talking about dressing in skirts by saying "isn't that why we do this?"...and I immediately responded NO without any thought.
It's not about the clothes for me, it's about being who I am...maybe I'm more transsexual than cd but that's just who I am.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Too much time, effort, and most of all money spent on this to ever stop. Even if the desire permanently goes away permanently which has not happened so far during my lifetime.

For the past several months getting dressed has almost felt like a regular asignment such as washing the car. However I always know the desire will return and dressing has become almost a "routine" or just a normal part of my life.

[TGMarla]

If the urge goes away, I guess I get to be a guy for the time being. I'll get more done around the house for a change, and I won't have to put up with the nagging longing to throw on a dress for a few hours. For my situation, I don't see any problem with it.

[Jenniferpl]

If the urge went away, so be it. More money and time to do other things. I doubt if it will ever go away.

[xAnne_Mariex]

I must say i'd be deeply upset if it ever did go away because I enjoy dressing so much.

Over the past few years it's gone from something I was a bit ashamed of to something I want to tell everyone about because i'm so proud of this part of me and I hope it never goes away, I really do.

[Cheryl T]

It's not an "urge", but if I lost it I'm sure a good private detective could find it again for me....:heehee:

[Raychel]

Well I guess if I totally lost the urge I would have to spend alot of time cleaning and figuring a way to sell off all of the stuff. So I guess that would keep me pretty busy for a while. After that I don't know what I would do. I guess spend more time camping:daydreaming:

[Angie G]

I Have been dressing for almost 50 years So I don't think that will happen. If the urge went away I probably wouldn't miss it. And I do think my wife would be happier.Ad what would I do with all this underwear.:hugs:
Angie

[Chrissie P]

For most of us it is a part of our being. Difficult to lose or suppress. Things happen in life that have more priority which can dampen the desire, but we will never lose it.

[Shiny]

I love your analogy about Cding possibly morphing into nothing more exciting than "...putting on a pair of socks." I think about that all the time! In seeing the beautiful woman, mostly from my youth with the nylons, the stiletto heels and the frilly dresses I often wonder what they think about when they "hit-the-silk."

Women can wear anything they want and these days they usually dress as casual as it gets and most women don't even own a pair of pantyhose! But in the old days I wonder if they experienced a mental or physical difference between putting on a pair of sweat socks and a pair of sheer nylon hosiery.
I grew up listening to women talking about dresses and such and only once heard the mention of how nice a pair of nylons were because "they were so sheer." But at weddings and such I could tell that many women seemed to enjoy their outfits by the way they fussed with them.

The other side of the coin of losing the urge to CD would be very liberating personally. I'd be able to get rid of all the baggage (pun intended), I'd have the time to do other things, wouldn't have to be so secretive etc... about living a double life. I'm hoping that the urges concerned with this hobby follow the lines of sexuality declining in ones later years, but as of now I don't see a correlation.

[Miranda09]

I don't know if my urges will ever go away (I certainly hope not), but, I'm not going to concern myself with that now. I'm enjoying the moment and that IS all that matters to me. :)

[Dr.Susan]

I think I would be happy if the urge would go away. Life would be much less complicated without it.

[Cary]

I don't think my urge to dress will ever go away. At this time in my life I wouldn't want it to. Dressing is NOT a hobby or a fad, it's part of me. However in the unlikely event that this urge went away, the sun would still raise and I'd go on with my life. I would box everything up(not purge) and keep going.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I think I would be happy if the urge would go away. Life would be much less complicated without it.

I think I would be happy if society would quit giving us a hard time for simply being ourselves. Life would be much less complicated without it. ;)

[Crissy Kay]

If that happens, then I would find something else to do. Go back to one of my former hobbies, or start a new one.

[Toni_Lynn]

I'll tell you what I think would happen if the urge to crossdress suddenly disappeared and wrote about it here. There would be a certain cadre of individuals who would diagnose me as suffering from internalised transphobia!:tongueout

Of course, it is natural for things to drift in and out of lives. It does happen and it means nothing.

But to the point of it morphing to something as exciting as putting on a pair of socks, in a sense it has. Oh the thril I get each morning when I run my hands over the collection in the drawer. The brilliant white of tube socks, the strict feeling of domination eluded by the over the calf socsk, the colourful playfulness of the argyles. Ooh -- I get shivers just thinking about it. :heehee: (I am of course being silly here!)

Seriously, though, I think the desire to push the envelope does diminish over the years, and at some point our CDing becomes getting dressed for the day.

But -- if the desire to wear anything of the opposite gender suddenly was gone, well, it would be sad. I'd feel a great loss. I have to liken it to become incapacitated, possibly wheelchair bound or unable to get out of bed, maybe paralysed. I guess I'd still have very warm memories.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Veronica Lacey]

If I woke up without "the urge" to crossdress...

For myself I imagine that this may occur many years down the road as for me dressing is a hobby. I do not wish to transition nor go public (although going out dressed would be great if society were tolerant (no more tolerant but tolerant, period.)

I would wait a few weeks to see if the decline in desire was permanent then perhaps box my wardrobe up and store it for another few months or perhaps forever. Could never throw it away, of course.

Having said this...should dressing ever prove to offer the sensation of nothing greater than putting on socks as you suggest then I probably may not consider changing the routine much. At this time in life I would welcome dressing to be as arguably mundane and normal as then it would occupy less thought time on a daily basis. Like some suggested perhaps I would achieve more with other hobbies and life outside the home if I did not wish to relax in my fineries any longer. Maybe at that point I might not think of it as much as a hobby but more of Hey, I am used to wearing such things and today is like any other day. What colour panties do I feel like wearing today?

Arianna, are you truly feeling these thoughts right now? Could you elaborate on those feelings? Would love to read about what you are thinking :thinking:

[Sharon]

The question does not apply to me, but the way I see it is if the urge to dress goes away, then don't dress. If the urge returns, then go ahead and dress again. Why force it?

It's like me and cooking. I love to cook and I love to try new recipes practically every day. But then there are those days when I just don't feel like cooking and I call out for pizza or Chinese. :)

[MarcellaMcNul]

It would probably be like losing an old friend.

On the other hand, finding other things to do is not the problem,it's finding enough time and energy to catch up with everything that is.

[TxKimberly]

I suppose in some ways I would miss it, and in some ways I would be relieved. Sometimes, the idea of being "normal" sounds kind of nice. :)

[Sarah...]

I'm wondering if I have an "urge" to wear mens clothes at work simply because I can't quite take that final step and ditch them altogether. :sad: Despite the fact that as easy primary indicators of gender they hinder my femininity as perceived by others. I don't feel urged to wear my day to day clothes - I just put them on. But I do find myself thinking long and hard about what I'm about to wear when I put on mens clothes for work. So, here's hoping the urge to dress in clothes designed for the opposite gender will go away.

Sarah...

[Pauline Lauren]

I really can't imagine that this will happen for me. I have tried to "purge this urge" from myself many times, always without success, always with it coming back again later, usually magnified in it's intensity. I am at the point where I think of myself as Pauline all the time, and my dressing allows me to express myself on the outside as my true self.

That said, if for some reason it just "left me", I guess I would just pack everything up and keep it. I have lost too many articles of clothing from purges in the past to fool myself into thinking such a thing would be permanent. I am sure in a short while I would be glad that I kept it, since in my experience such a thing would never last for long. I think before long I would be sad, and feeling that I was not expressing my inner self and I would want it all back and more.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, I used the term "urge" in my OP mostly because that is how many describe the need to CD. I had an earlier post but somehow I lost it in another section. I blame my current avatar for that one. Anyway, I thank the Mods for straightening that out.:)

The point is I have reached the point I speak about dressing being so routine. In fact I more or less forced myself to do it much of last year. For myself it became more about getting in touch with the feelings than anything else. This happened after many years though mind you. I just wanted to see what others would do if the desire or urge disappeared and it was no longer as exciting being en femme as it had been. Did that mean I had graduated to another "level" or just got more in touch with the feelings where the dressing made little or no difference? The point is that dressing has little or nothing to do with who I am as a person these days, it's just a choice of costume.

Shiny brought up a good point about GG's when they used to be involved with the stereotype stuff before women's liberation came to the fore. We may never know if some women really DID get excited by getting dressed up to the nines sometimes, that is, unless some honest gals really want to share that. To be perfectly honest some gals have told me they like getting dressed up sometimes, even though they don't feel like June Cleaver, it just makes them feel good.;):)

[Dr.Susan]

I think I would be happy if society would quit giving us a hard time for simply being ourselves. Life would be much less complicated without it. ;)


Society has nothing to do with my comment. It would just be much simpler dealing only with the gender I was born with.

[KarenSusan]

What would you do if all of a sudden you woke up one day and the urge to crossdress was gone? No matter what you tried to do to get re-interested nothing worked and getting dressed and made up was no more interesting to you than putting on a pair of socks. Would you do it anyway or would you find a new interest and new direction for your life?

That would be the happiest day of my life. I could get rid of my entire wardrobe and know that I would not buy it all back in 6 months. For the first time in my life, I would feel like a normal man. I certainly wouldn't dress if I weren't compelled to.

[Sam-antha]

Well now, so far it goes and always comes again, sometimes stays a while longer than usual.
Sadly, if it does go, permanently - and I somehow know that it is permanent -, then I have to face the fact that it will have gone. Since it will have done just that, you know, been and gone, is it likely that I will be able to miss it ?
If it ain't there, how can I miss it ?

[Rachel Morley]

What would you do if all of a sudden you woke up one day and the urge to crossdress was gone?
Lost the urge ??!! .... don't even joke about that :worried: I can't imagine how miserable I'd be :sad: ... or maybe I wouldn't be miserable, as presumably I wouldn't miss it. You know ... thinking about it, the whole concept seems so "foreign". I guess I just can't ever imagine it happening. If it did I'd probably take up fishing or something equally unlikely (for me) :D

[JaytoJillian]

If I lost the "urge," I venture to say that I'd finally be rich. No more spending money on clothes!

[Mary Ann]

I've been dressing up for 56 years. If I lost the urge, I'd have to wonder "What's wrong with me?"
I hope I NEVER lose the urge! I love being feminine, and I'm pretty confident that I always will.

[Alice Torn]

Arianna, Good thread. Lately, due to multiple crises, with family trama, deaths, personal great stress, I have had no desire to dress. partly, just too emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted, and don't have the energy. Life, these days, in this maddening society, is too much!!! I sense i may be going downhill , and return to the dust, soon, and am thinking about life, and death more than ever, before. My mom, 200 miles away, with Alzheimer's, is day to day. There are a number of serious crises with people in my life, that are weighing me down, too, and the desire, and energy just are not there, for dressing, yet, though, i do think about it.

[Mary Ann]

I've tried (in the past) to lose the urge but it ALWAYS runs faster than I ever could and catches up with me. So I quit running from it and now I embrace and cherish my femininity. :love:
It better not leave me! I'd cry!!!

[DAVIDA]

I would have a very big size 12 shoe sale!

[pattyv]

I think I would be happy if society would quit giving us a hard time for simply being ourselves. Life would be much less complicated without it. ;)

I always enjoy your comments. You are refreshing.

[pattyv]

Arianna, Good thread. Lately, due to multiple crises, with family trama, deaths, personal great stress, I have had no desire to dress. partly, just too emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted, and don't have the energy. Life, these days, in this maddening society, is too much!!! I sense i may be going downhill , and return to the dust, soon, and am thinking about life, and death more than ever, before. My mom, 200 miles away, with Alzheimer's, is day to day. There are a number of serious crises with people in my life, that are weighing me down, too, and the desire, and energy just are not there, for dressing, yet, though, i do think about it.

Louise: These are merely ink blotches on the page. The book remains intact. Take a deep breath, look around and find someone in more pain and help them. I complained I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Hugs.
Laura.

[Alice Torn]

Laura, I know, boy do i know, that others have it worse, like a few of the people i was talking about! I am almost living their lives for them! I was being gut honest, not exaggerating. Walk a mile in my shoes!I have no urge to dress, for a month, due to what i said. Is it against the rules, to be honest? Good day.

[Stacye Rose]

I'm with Deja True. I don't see the "urge" going away as it is something I enjoy and not an "I gotta" type of thing. But if I didn't want to do it, lord knows there are plenty of other things to do. There certainly is no need to force the issue. Just move on to something else I enjoy.

If it was extended, I would just box it all up just in case (no purging). If there is one thing I learned from others here. . .


This is the situation I find myself in. I haven't felt any desire to do anything related to CDing for over 9 months now. (exept visiting this forum) There are other things in my life worth doing and this will work itself out over time, one way or the other-no worries

[AmandaM]

I don't think it will ever go away. But if it did, I don't think I'd be any happier as I don't feel like a regular guy.

[Alice Torn]

Amanda, Dittos with that! Never been a normal guy, never will, in spite of the dressing!

[Jazzmine]

For me the urge comes and goes anyway - I enjoy my life with or without crossdressing. I am just me and if today says 'you must dress' then dress I must.

I never force being dressed just for the sake of it. I enjoy any femme time I get because I will have the urge to do so at the time. But if the urge goes, the dressing goes, simple as that.

I don't need to dress to feel 'alive'. I've evolved a state of mind that is just "me" - cd or not. I fully admit that I am a better me for releasing the CD inside of me and I would be sad to see it go, but if changes occur, I guess, I would have to "adapt or die" as Darwin would say.

So "adapt" is my contingency plan!

Nice question Arianna
Hugs Jazzmine

[Kitty Sue]

As has been pointed out I do not think the urge will ever leave. It is a part of me whether I accept that or not. I do go through periods when the desire to dress lessens, but it is never entirely gone for me.

[Raychel]

My wife would be thrilled, dancing in the street with joy

[Sally2005]

Sometimes it does feel like the urge has gone, but eventually it always comes back. The only thought I would have is disbelief.

[DonnaT]

I've not had the urge to fully dress for some time now, so I don't. I still dress in some ways however.

Thus, I reckon if it happened, then I would probably ignore it, and figure the urge would return later in the day. If it didn't, and I found no desire to wear a nightie to bed, then I reckon I just wouldn't dress.

My wife would certainly be happy. Then again, she'd more than likely worry about when the desire would return. Sort of like some SO's worry now about "when the next shoe will drop" towards transition.

[Deborah Jane]

What would you do if all of a sudden you woke up one day and the urge to crossdress was gone? I know some will say that can never happen and the urge never goes away but don't be so sure. ?

It did with me when i was about 17 years old, it didn't come back untill i was about 44 years old.
I didn't miss it, i hardly ever thought about it and when i did there was no urge to "dress".
I just got on and lived my life [got married, had kids, had a career and other interests, etc].

I still don't really know why it went or why it came back, but it's here for now so i've just learned to accept it.

[sometimes_miss]

What would you do if all of a sudden you woke up one day and the urge to crossdress was gone?

Is this a trick question?
:hiding:

[Sarah Doepner]

I would be patient. After a while I would have to relocate clothes and makeup where it would be available when I wanted it or where my kids would find it and laugh when they cleaned out my place to sell the estate.

I would probably spend the time doing things that need to be done and getting places on time for a change. I'd probably have to substitute something for the creativity I find in building new outfit combinations. I'm sure I would spend more time shopping for tools and camping gear. Because even if the dressing went away, the need for shopping is embedded even deeper in the central cortex of the brain.

[Jaclyn NM]

Sometimes I have the urge to dress, and sometimes I don't, so I just go with how I feel at the time. I have gone through these swings my entire life, but not having the urge to dress is always temporary, and never lasts more than a few weeks. It's been a part of my life for so long, that I doubt I could ever totally lose the urge to dress. Thank God for that, because I do love it.

[Christina89]

i've had those days every so often but i always go back to crossdressing. and no matter wat i love it.

[vivianann]

I would be sad, I love my femininity.

[Hali]

I dress when i feel the urge. I always like to keep the urge at bay cos of work and other life tasking issues, so if there are no urges i think i can go on for hours, days, months, years, decades without CDing may be i will never crossress again if thats the case, cos i might find it disgusting or repulsive. I think thats what none CDers feel thats why they dont dress cos they dont feel the urge.

[Christina89]

if i ever had to stop crossdressing i would go insane. i love doing it makes me happy. and i would never stop doing it

[Krista1985]

I sort of deal with losing it and...oh there it is...finding it again when I least expect it.

So if I lost it, I'd probably expect it to resurface after some off-time. If it didn't, I imagine my small collection would get dusty and go out of style. Maybe one day down the road, after a couple of decades with the switch in the off position I'd act and pitch it all away. At that point, even if it did return I'm sure I'd need new, non-mustified and properly fitting stuff.

The way things are now, I go running for my stash for a couple days here and there, and then not at all for weeks or months at a time. So it's not unheard of for me to slip out of it for extended periods of time and then slide back in. Still, I'd be skeptical about it ever being gone for good after having read what I've seen posted here and in other places.

[Kimmie]

If I lost the urge. Simple: I'd have more money to buy guy clothes.

[charlie]

Hello Arianna!
If I could walk by a dress store and not have any interest in checking out the clothes, did not want to see shoes, did not want to dress anymore.........I would be freed from myself. I have plenty of other things in my life to keep me happy, absorbed and both interesting and interested.

[jessiejess112]

It's an interesting question: my first though when I considered your question was 'that would be great'.
I wouldn't have to worry about coming out to anybody anymore, and I would have more free time and money to do other things.
But I think that if my crossdressing was gone, I would also lose other feminine qualities that have helped me get to where I am today. I think crossdressing is part of who I am, and it balances other aspects of my personality: so I would probably not be interested in permanently losing the urge to crossdress.