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View Full Version : How I came out to SO



DinaMature
06-14-2009, 08:01 AM
First, we're both pretty kinky sexually. Monogamous and hetero but pretty open to possibilities within those parameters.

Over time, she's been aware that I like girlie girls, and have my appreciation for the "satin lace n perfume" milieu of feminity. Historically, she has made many jokes about me wearing her stuff... she thought they were mere barbs, not secret truths.
Additionally, she's worked for years with a gay man who is very flamboyantly fem, is in a LTR of many years duration and as such has normalized the whole transgender concept in her mind.

Also, again sexually, it's been long established that I'm very frisky and dominant in my desires.


With this as a basis, I'd come to think she'd be pretty accepting. I've only come out to myself within the last year, so there's a lot of territory we've covered together before my crossdressing came into any focus. (Until last autumn, I thought I was just a closeted underwear freak, but over time I realized that was not really working for me.)

More recently, I've had a minor muscular injury and have taken to wearing a panty girdle that relieves some level of discomfort. She offered a long line girdle, suggesting I might find it more comfortable and effective. I immediately took to it and she as quickly took to poking fun about how I liked it, pointing at the lace trim along the bottom hems.

So on the night in question, as we were talking and watching TV, I broached the topic with "I have to say this... I'm not gay but I do like wearing women's clothes".

With that the flood gates opened... she asked little and listened a lot. The whole revelation took little time to spell out; these details n topics had so often been chewed up by my own analysis so the words came easy.

In a short time, I was showing her the heels I'd purchased just days ago, and not too much later, was showing her my pics in my gallery here.

Almost immediately, she was all for it, jumping online searching apparel and transformation sites to see what was available for me, even before I was done laying it all out for her.


I know many could not go so "all in" like I did but again, I knew my lady very well and felt very safe to do so.


Well, FWIW... there it is. If some are informed or inspired by my experience, then this post will be usefull. Regardless, it does feel good to be able to share such a positive story.

And as a final BTW, this wonderful event occurred on my birthday!!! WOW - freedom; What a wonderful gift!!!

Angie G
06-14-2009, 08:28 AM
Well you are one of us lucky ones who have a accepting lady to spend your life with. It don't get any better then that hun.:hugs:
Angie

kaitlin
06-14-2009, 09:17 AM
Good going Girlfriend !!! It is such a wonderful thing to be able to explore all your CDing desires with your wife not only being OK with it, but very supporting as well! My wife is very into Kaitlin, she loves her company, loves to shop for her, loves to take her to bed!! If I was passable she has told me many times I'd never be seen in male mode again! I just wish everyone here had the same in their life as we do in ours!

Gabrielle Hermosa
06-14-2009, 09:20 AM
I enjoyed your story, Dina - especially because of the very happy and positive outcome of it. :)

Parts of it read a little like my own story with my wife. My story is in my sig links if you're curious about similarities.

And yes - freedom is a beautiful thing, isn't it? As I read your last sentence, I was reminded of that exact feeling after my own wife finally understood the truth about me. No more hiding. No more feeling guilty. No more stress of keeping secrets. No more worrying about what she'll think. The freedom to be oneself is truly priceless. The freedom to be oneself AND still be loved by their wife/SO is that much sweeter.

Here's to all the women who not only accept us as we are, but also prefer us this way!

:drink:

Miranda09
06-14-2009, 10:06 AM
What a great experience Dina. You have a wonderful wife and I see many more exciting times ahead for the both of you. I know how it feels to come out to a GG that is accepting and supportive, as well as willing to take part in your desires. Have fun girl.... :)

kynw08
06-14-2009, 09:44 PM
Hmmm, all I can say is, does she have a sister? ;)

Marissa
06-14-2009, 09:48 PM
Dina, its always great to read a success story when someone opens up to SO, spouse, friends, family.. that inspires others of hope when they are closeted.

Hugs,

Christina Horton
06-14-2009, 11:14 PM
as it has been said many times before Take it slow for her. Don't over whelm her. She may be excited now but she could change her mind. I have read many threads that said there SOs where great at first but it changed later and they became bitter and runed the relaship let her set the pace and enjoy it Hun. Your p e of the lucky ones.

DinaMature
06-15-2009, 02:31 AM
as it has been said many times before Take it slow for her. Don't over whelm her. She may be excited now but she could change her mind. I have read many threads that said there SOs where great at first but it changed later and they became bitter and runed the relaship let her set the pace and enjoy it Hun. Your p e of the lucky ones.

Specifically, I've told her I am not going off the deep end now that it's out in the open. For now it feels good to not have to hide.
I reassured her I'm not going to suddenly revert and leave my masculine self behind. I for one don't want to live and present as fem full time. It's something I need to negotiate my own time share situation... I'm not totally unhappy being a guy but I do need to express Dina's side too.


EDIT

PS thanks to ya'll for being here at all, and thanks to the moderators for keeping it safe and sane here. It's been so important as therapy, for self expression, for much needed validation, and certainly as a rough hewn guide book to carve out my own way (something we each do with our individual realities).