is it just me????

[JulieP]

when i was portraying mostly male to the world, i was rarely noticed and day to day interactions were almost robotic. i go out once as julie and the saleswoman supernice and chatty and i attract a guy. i guess the main thought running through my head at this time is why should i hang on to my male side?

[Sophie Lynne]

why should i hang on to my male side?

That is a question only you can answer. Each of us deals with it on some level, I'd guess.

[Christina Horton]

if you don't you'll never be able to write your name in the snow for starters.

[Teri Jean]

Not only that what happens when you get a flat tire, ask for help from some guy? Yaaah!

Keli

[Ralph]

Since we don't know how you behave when "portraying mostly male", whatever that means, we can't address why you were treated differently. I can only tell you that when I'm out - always in socially acceptable male clothes - I make friendly conversation and joke with the people I come into contact with, and there is nothing dull or robotic about the encounters.

Try changing YOUR behavior, and see how others change theirs. Next time someone asks "How are you?" don't just mumble "fine..." give them a cheerful grin and say "Terrific! How about yourself?" I bet their response won't be so robotic. And if you don't care who knows, next time the sales clerk asks if she can help you find something say "I sure hope so, I'm trying to find these panties in my size". Give her something to talk about the rest of the day!

[VikkiVixen7188]

Hang on to your male side for all the perks society gives men over women. Like the glass ceiling thing and issues like that you wont have to compete with.

[JulieP]

my male personality to even me is a bit odd. my sense of humor is a mix of "Airplane", "Monty Python" and "The 3 Stooges". one example, couple weeks ago the guys at work (i'm an auto mechanic) were watching videos on youtube about women that can clap there butts. i just said "too bad they didn't have a clapper hooked up to the lights, it'd be a funny strobe light show too." i can also laugh at myself, BTW i can't write my name in the snow as i can't write in cursive. now in a social setting if i don't know anyone, i most likely won't show up, but go to a halloween party, to a friends or the wifes office party dressed up, i have no fear and feel totally comfortable.
i am extremely shy and ask a woman out?! gawd i'd likely puke as soon as my mouth opened. now what is wrong is wait for my to make a simple stupid mistake and it's hell on earth around me. i have a very short fuse and i have noticed in the past that if i hadn't dressed in a couple days that short fuse is instant ignite. i've also on several occations thought of how i could fake an accident to remove a certain appendage. and that ladies is who i've lived with for the last 41 years. it has been a hell of a roller coaster ride and now i'm ready to get off.

[DianneW]

you'd have to drink an alful lot of beer to be able to write " Christina "in the snow lol

[Chrissie P]

Lol !!

[TGMarla]

One positive experience as Julie is not a reason to simply go off and transition. Slow down. That said, the fact that you have been unhappy as a male and have considered transitioning for some time now, suggests that some gender counselling is in order. You may well have some transexual tendencies, and in order for you to sort it all out, you should talk to someone. That's always the first step. May your path have few rocks and potholes, my dear.

[sandra-leigh]

It isn't just you.

I am currently going to therapy, with the intention of addressing the root causes that are keeping me depressed. And although there are more than enough issues in my marriage to lead to non-trivial unhappiness, I am (or was) dealing with those through couples therapy. In my individual therapy, the framework I am concentrating on is not my relationship with my wife. My primary question in individual therapy could be phrased approximately as,

"Since at least grade 1, as a male, I have been on the edge of society, ignored by most people, and actively outcast by most of the rest. When I cross-dress or gender-bend or go out in drab to shop as a cross-dresser, even though it is obvious to most people that I am male, people (all kinds of people) actively talk to me and get to know me and like me: I become part of the larger society community. What can I do so that that sense of 'belonging' and of having friendships extends into my whole life?"

Note that this is not a question about how to cross-dress full-time -- it is not really a direct question about cross-dressing at all. Yes, I certainly enjoy wearing skirts and dresses, and that gives me a sense of inner peace, but those are solitary (introverted) feelings, and what I've learned by looking over the longer course of my life is how much I need relationships with other people. Through what-ever freak of time and people and circumstances, my cross-dressing and gender-bending is allowing me to find some of those relationships... why? and how do I do it without the cross-dressing? Not that I have any intention of "stopping" cross-dressing, but I also don't want to lock myself into just the GLBT community: I'm not just looking for a little niche where I "belong", I'm trying to figure out why I have so much difficulty with relationships that I'm in such a deep hole to start with.


I know the traditional "Dear Abby" answer to these kinds of questions is to volunteer. I've volunteered a great deal in my lifetime, and very little has come of it other than eventually I burn out from always giving and giving and giving more, and getting little in return (or dumped upon by ingrates for not giving enough, when I declined to do their complete honours project or masters thesis or PhD for them while they sat back and partied.) Part of cross-dressing, for me, is taking time for me, because I'm no good to anyone if I'm perpetually exhausted and burnt out.

[Nicole Erin]

if you don't you'll never be able to write your name in the snow for starters.

Hey it's trannie_t's job to come up with this type of post! :heehee:

But yeah that is the thing - women have many pretty styles fashions whatever, and men stuff is just so, umm, "drab" [taken in any context of the word.]

I know for me, with my day to day 1/2 femme appearance, I get noticed a lot. What I am wearing, my hair, whatever.

So I say again - people are fascinated with us. :D

[Sally2005]

Juliep, I think you are on to something...what it is, I'm not sure. When I'm my male self, like you nobody really notices me unless I speak up (or someone is trying to sell me something) and although I think a lot has to do with how you are feeling at the time (depressed looking or happy looking) people do seem to respond better to my female self. I try to smile while female and I think makeup may hide a lot of facial expression (or replaces it with a more rosy version)...so maybe that's it. From your avitar, I can see you have a cute look going so people probably will talk to you. Hope you got your voice down... :)

[Melissa A.]

Women are treated better, as a whole. Women are also, overwhelmingly, highly sexualised, which isnt always about being friendly, or even attraction. It's often about power. Enjoy yourself. But just be careful out there.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Miranda-E]

when i was portraying mostly male to the world, i was rarely noticed and day to day interactions were almost robotic. i go out once as julie and the saleswoman supernice and chatty and i attract a guy. i guess the main thought running through my head at this time is why should i hang on to my male side?

I gave up my male side (or male costume) a long time ago. best thing i ever did. I also have a much larger, and more active social circle now.

[JulieP]

as a guy i am constantly talked over, interupted and pushed to the back end of the conversation. i have wanted to go full time for a long time but being married to a woman that really didn't care to see me dressed but just barely tolerated it made it difficult. now that we're divorced i can try to explore what i sort of felt was the real me, also next tuesday i start going to a councelor to help me figure things out.

i know that one time going out isn't a true basis to make such a HUGE decision with, and i'm not. it does however give me much more confidence to go out again. i also know that there will be many bad days out and to think there won't be or to think that the world will accept me is just crazy. going full-time or if it is to be full transition will be alot of hard work for me. oh and hormones are totally out for me as i'm already on blood thinners because of blood clots. the one that damn near killed me is about when i really started to think about my life and the road it was on.

ok now for something completely different,

You've just been listening to the erotic daydreams of an infant worm being sucked backwards through a french milking machine.