What are the motives for crossdressing?

[queenieweenie2003]

I want to know is this a psychological quirk, a fetish, is it gay? If so can it be cured? Can the person stop?

[Kathi Lake]

I do it for fun - plain & simple.

Kathi

[Christina89]

i also do it for fun.

[Carrie R]

When I think of crossdressing while I am not dressed like a woman, sometimes I get a feeling that is kind of like an anxiety attack, not nearly as scary though. When that happens, the time to get dressed up is coming soon.

[Nicki B]

Can the person stop?

It rather sounds as if you want to...

Have you tried? :idontknow:

[Kimmy55]

Can a true CD stop? I'm sure all have tried a time or two only to become miserable.At least thats my case.I do it because I enjoy it.Am I gay?No I go both ways thank you.:)

[LindaTS]

I dress this way because I'm a woman. Yeaaaaaaaaaa

[EjayeCD]

Not only is it fun, but it's very sensual as well.

[Annaliese]

I do it because it is how I am, If I could not dress I would be so depressed that I could not function. I am me when I am dressed.

Hugs to all
Annaliese

[Kate Simmons]

My answers in the order asked: possibly, possibly, maybe, possibly, maybe.:)

[Christina89]

i CD because it makes me happy. it something i like to do. u could probably stop CDing but it would be hard if u always do it.

[Rachel05]

I do it because it makes me feel happy to do it, I have done it for years and yes tried to stop, wondered if I could but couldn't and in fact have no desire at all to stop now, I am comfortable with it and it also relaxes me too

Am I gay, not even close

[Jen2838]

I dress like this for fun. I just love going out to the bars with my girlfriends.

[KatieC]

Ah, Queenie ... if you get 10 crossdressers in a room and ask that question, you're bound to get at least 11 different answers.

The only important question is to ask oneself "what is my motivation for crossdressing?" As little as it helps the confusion you seem to have right now, you're the only one who can answer that question for you.

[Jaydee]

Queenie,
First of all welcome to the forum. I couldn't tell from your post whether you were the Cder or were in a relationship with one. In my mind the basis for CD is something internal that is not a mental illness, but for me is more than just a fetish. It is part of me. It is not really a sexual activity for me, but it does provide a calming and centering feeling. I would say it is more emotional. I can't say for others but for me it is definitely not gay. I have no interest in men, either dressed or not.

Can it be cured? There are times I sincerely wish it could. I am in the closet and the secrecy takes time, effort, stress and money.

Can you stop? I have tried many times over 45 years, and haven't been able to yet. I have gone on CD sabbatical a few times but have always started again even after a few years.

In any case, if you have come here for support or understanding, I think you have come to the right place, welcome.

Jaydee

[Hali]

This is what i heard pple say about us "CDs crossdress to attact men" that deep.....deep...deep.....down, without we ourselves knowing it, we CD to attract men or get male attention. But i think most of us on this forum know better. Some CD to attract women or other CDs or TS or CD to please themselves. To tell u the truth i CD to quench the urge no urge no CD.

[dawnmarrie1961]

I want to know is this a psychological quirk, a fetish, is it gay? If so can it be cured? Can the person stop?


It is what it is. Sometimes there is no reason. It just happens.

Is it psychological quirk? Perhaps. There is some scientific data to back up that assumption. But a genetic predisposition to a certain type of behavior doesn't make it uncontrollable. We still have some degree of choice.

Is it a fetish? Perhaps. Depends on the individual. As a sexual fetish the need dissipates when the sexual act is completed.Predisposition to fetishes can also be a genetic factor. Fetishes are also a matter of choice.

Is it Gay? Perhaps. But again it depends on the individual. Also a matter of choice, although their are many that would dispute the assumption, again referring back to the genetics.

Can it be cured? Perhaps. But the cure itself may be far worse than the disease.

If everything can be explained by genetic predispositions, and choice is not a factor, then a cure means simply changing the underlying hard wiring and individuality goes out the window.

I think. Therefore I am. I am because I chose to be.
It is as simple as that.

[Xenia]

I do it for the fame, fortune, and international adulation.

Also sometimes as a handy disguise when I'm in a felonious mood.

[dawnmarrie1961]

What is this? LAW & ORDER? We all had MOTIVE.
MOTIVE AND OPPORTUNITY!!!!
"Take me away, Officer!"
Handcuff me!:devil:

[Joni Marie Cruz]

What's up with the ontological questions all the time? As my favorite existentialist philosopher, Popeye the Sailor, once said. "I yam, what I yam."

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Deborah Jane]

I want to know is this a psychological quirk? Probably
a fetish? Occasionally
is it gay? Sometimes
If so can it be cured? Possibly
Can the person stop? Probably not


I don't have a motive for crossdressing, i just do it because it's part of who i am :)

[Kate Simmons]

What is this? LAW & ORDER? We all had MOTIVE.
MOTIVE AND OPPORTUNITY!!!!
"Take me away, Officer!"
Handcuff me!:devil:Yeah Law and Order, SVU. Look out Ice Tea!:heehee:

[Carly D.]

Because it's there..

[sometimes_miss]

This is what i heard pple say about us "CDs crossdress to attact men" that deep.....deep...deep.....down, without we ourselves knowing it, we CD to attract men or get male attention.

Easy way to dispute that theory is to ask how to explain those of us who never leave the house dressed up, and never intend to.

If you want to know why I crossdress, read my biography. Just click on the link below. It may or may not apply to others as well, but the last shrink I saw basically said it made a lot of sense.

[charlie]

Hello Queenieweenie!
Welcome to the forum. Your first post, and you are asking the quintessential question for us all! I hope you find this forum as fun, entertaining and helpful as I do. It is always good to know that others are doing and acting pretty much as you are. It gives solace to you when you are feeling that you should not be dressing and are a societal pariah. I dress because I feel good getting all dolled up, I feel wonderful and I have a huge need to dress and shop all the time. The need is so strong that I cannot stop dressing. When dressed I go out as Charlie and try not to get into trouble!

[BLUE ORCHID]

I do it because I am in the witness protection program.
This way the mob will not find me.
Just like Jack lemon & Tony Curtis Some Like It Hot!!!
.................................................. ............thanks.........ORCHID

[mindfulperson]

my motive plain and simple: girls get all the fun clothes. men are restricted by what they can wear. In today's culture do you see men wearing white sweatpants? no it's the girls and 99.99999% of the time the white sweatpants are for women. I liked white sweatpants and for some unknown reason i liked girls wearing them and wanted in on the fun. So eventually I got in on it.

[NathalieX66]

I do it because I am in the witness protection program.
This way the mob will not find me.
Just like Jack lemon & Tony Curtis Some Like It Hot!!!
.................................................. ............thanks.........ORCHID

That was on the television this past weekend.
The end scene where they hop in the boat with marilyn monroe, where the boat driver makes a quote and smiles must have incensed a lot of people back in those days....if they had the guts to sit through it.


my motive plain and simple: girls get all the fun clothes.
You ain't kidding!

One question I pondered today was why so many CD'ers insist on posting photos of themselves on the net if they have no desire to attract men. The majority of us here on this forum are men....looking at other men. (btw, if you see yourselves as female, same applies)..... You do the math.
I can only speak for my self (who is probably straight as a Texas Highway....how boring of me, right?) but I am here , and have the desire also, to shoot photos and show them off purely for gender expression, which I plan to do soon. I look at it in the same way as how hot rod car guys show off their cars. If gay or bi men found them attractive, then great! I achieved my objective. However i have no desire for them or any kind of sexual activity whatsoever. I feel amost asexual when I dress because I'm too. focused on the artistic & visual aspect.

The rest of my desires to crossdress are for specifically for my own reasons and no one else. They lie somewhere between paraphilia, the sheer esthetic attractive beauty of women's clothes, and rebellion against society's values.....oh, and to relieve stress, and escape.

[Sophie Lynne]

All sorts of great answers.

I'll weigh in with my truth- I don't know.

This isn't an easy road we walk (the heels hurt) and yet we do, for whatever reason.

Can someone stop? Sure. At what cost? If a man goes to the extent of putting on a dress, there's something he wishes to express, and it's a heathy thing to express it. Supression maynot be in his best interests.

:2c:

[wetlook crossdresser]

I can't explain why I cross dress. There are lots of theories out there. I just know that it is the right thing to do for me. It is uplifting in spirit, it is comforting, confidence building, sensuous, erotic. It just plain feels so good and it is the right thing to do for me. Besides, why do all those GGs get to have total fashion and fabric choice freedom and not us guys. Also I think some of us can dress up in and look better in girly clothes than some of those women out there. So hurray for total fashion freedom. I don't think we're wacko we're liberated and enjoying the experience. Cheers!
Chris

[psion128]

I want to know is this a psychological quirk, a fetish, is it gay? If so can it be cured? Can the person stop?
I just think there is just a pychological reason rather than anything to do with being gay. Being homosexual is something I believe a person is born with. But CDing I do believe its a purely psychological deal. L8s I hope that answers your question.

[Samantha Kelsey]

I do it cos I want to. One could just as easily ask 'Why do some people eat chocolate while others hate it?'

[LA CINDY LOVE]

When Cindy came out 5yrs ago it was all about fun...fun...fun... there was no self expression or feelings that I was born the wrong sex.....I just wanted to see if I could pull it off....... but as time pass the fun wore off......I would get all dress up get to the club and ask my self.........is this it?

Going out to the same clubs was no longer a challenge and it took all the fun out of dressing......that is when Cindy decided to start going out in the day time..... going to the mall, shopping, movies having lunch, just doing things in the day time was a new challenge for Cindy.........and it made dressing fun again, I also try going to new clubs were I was the only Cd......and I love all the attention I was getting.

My motives for dressing is the Challenge of going to new places doing new things and the attention that I get.......getting dress and staying at home is not for Cindy.

LA CINDY LOVE

[JesseSaro]

my motive plain and simple: girls get all the fun clothes. men are restricted by what they can wear. In today's culture do you see men wearing white sweatpants? no it's the girls and 99.99999% of the time the white sweatpants are for women. I liked white sweatpants and for some unknown reason i liked girls wearing them and wanted in on the fun. So eventually I got in on it.

these are my feelings on the matter. I do it because

A.) why do girls get to wear whatever they please, and men in our society to be socially acceptable don't?

B.)I do it when I want to look like a women. Why do I want to look like a women? because I get that feeling inside me when I see a good looking girl that I can/could look better? or not, but in my mind I want to be.

C.)I like the way womens clothes feel on me as opposed to mens clothing. ie: hosiery, skirts, soft shirts, pants, bras, panties etc..

D.) Attention possibly. Still trying to figure this one out.

E.) its fun trying to perfect the art of looking more like a women and knowing that you're a guy and the random person beside you thinks you're a girl. also known as "passing"

F.) Another outlet to express myself.

[Michelle 2774]

I feel like many of the women here - I like to dress! It is a part of me which I want to appreciate and enjoy! :battingeyelashes:

[Jenniferpl]

I like it, I enjoy, and I have to. Since it won't go away, I mine as well have fun with it.

[AileenCD]

This is an interesting post...and I think I could answer in any number of ways.
Here are two recent stories:

First, I went into a coffee shop with guy clothes over panties and bra. I sat down and was suddenly aware of a shift in my perceptions. All the women in the room stood out as beautiful and real, and my heart opened to them. :<3:

It was as if, in grammar school, when all the kids are lined up, girls in one line, boys in another, and I'd crossed over to the other side of the room. This felt very beautiful and natural, soft, loving, and uncontrived. I looked at the men, and saw them differently, too; or I should say I felt them in a different way. Dressing 'allowed' me to relax into my femme self, and experience the reality which is below the surface for me, always.

Then, later that night, I was chatting on line with my lady friend who finds men in lingerie very sexy, totally aroused, in sexy bliss, hot beyond words, beyond anything experienced as "only" a guy.

:hugs:
aileen

[Nicki B]

One question I pondered today was why so many CD'ers insist on posting photos of themselves on the net if they have no desire to attract men.

That's easy - it's about validation of our feminine selves.

[Erica A.]

I do it for a variety of reasons. I like the way I look, the way it feels, the process of doing it and to have fun. It can be sensual also. If there was only one reason I do it, it would be because people say "you can't do that." :eek:
-Erica

[jenna_woods]

I do it for fun, gay has nothing to do with it, as forstoping I have tried 2 and was misserable so started again, now never will stop, even went as far as trowing everything away and had to buy new,

[SweetCaroline]

I don't have any motives. It's who I am. It's more than "just for fun" for me, although it is fun, and I might go through the trouble of dressing it if it wasn't fun.

I do believe it is part of a larger identity issue that can't be answered with a simple "why".

[sherib]

I just enjoy wearing womens clothes. I like the feel, the way they hug the body. And I get anxiety attacks if I haven't dressed for a while. Have you every notice how GG's act when they get dressed to go out to a dance or any type of function? How they bounce around the house when teir dressed and know they look good. That's how I feel when I'm dressed. I just love it.

[Natalie_393]

I crossdress for fun, It's also makes me feel relexed

[TGMarla]

Yes, girls do get all the fun clothes. That's certaily one reason I started in the first place. One thing is undeniable: we dress as the other sex desires us to. So I alway found women who were sporting pretty dresses very attractive. And when curiosity compelled me to try on women's clothing, I was very aroused by the experience. It was also very different for me to feel feminine, and the wearing of feminine attire does this for me. I find it stimulating, relaxing, invigorating, and at times even erotic. Over time, it has gone way beyond just the clothing. It's now become more of an exercise in female emulation for me. And I do it because 37 years of constant crossdressing has left me with a serious compulsion to repeat this behavior quite often.

I think, though, that I said it best here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98690), when I went out completely dressed to get a new wig, and recalled the entire experience in a post in the "Out and about" section.
And so I left, just glowing from a great experience, feeling very feminine and beautiful. It's hard to describe, but if anyone asks me why I crossdress, I'll tell them it's because every once in a while, I get to feel like that. I'm still glowing from the experience all these months later.

So there isn't any one answer. It's complicated, and very difficult to pin down. It's just become a part of who I am. Maybe that's the best answer I can give.

[Josie M]

I don't know, at the end of the day, I think it's just a part of who I am and I'm glad I allowed myself to let this side of me come out. I've fantasized about dressing for as long as I can remember - even as a very young child, well ahead of any "sexual" urges.

I also enjoy the creative aspect of it, sitting at my vanity and working on my look until I came up with something I liked. Maybe some of us are just too complex for a single gender....

[APRIL0401]

It's fun.

[lisajane]

Can you stop crossdressing? How long can you hold your breath! LOL!!

But seriously after you have worn panties and pantyhose you will always be a c/der

When I was in my 20's the urge to dress would wake me up to get dressed at 3am :2c:

[sharon2]

I crossdress because i love the feel of female underwear and wearing a
lovely dress and i love the feel of walking in highheels. At 70 i dont want to stop,because i enjoy it so much.

[Celeste]

The answer me for was to realize there doesn't have to be a motive or a sexual orientation,I enjoy it ,thats good enough reason to justify it.I never have to question my actions ever again.

[StephanieH]

Simply because I like it... discovered I liked it when I was in the 4th grade, so I don't think it's neccesarily a fetish or sexual thing. For some of us, it just seems to be the way we're wired up.

Take care and God bless! :)

[Chrissie P]

It's fun, sensual, sexy and exciting !!

[Nicki B]

I want to know is this a psychological quirk, a fetish, is it gay? If so can it be cured? Can the person stop?

Have we scared you away, Queenie? :strugglin