Just speaking my mind

[JennyTG24]

hiya everyone,
I ope everyone dont mind. but im typing this under the infulence of alkhol. This month i have had nothing but problems. i have been going to work as usual and been woking hard to get the money for my sex change opperation but one day i went to work and because i was wearing female undies, which may i add i feel comftable in . when i lent over someone at work seen and i got insulted because of it. and well lets just say i now know the feeling of what would happen if i came out at work, ( nothing good ) for the last month i have had nothing but insults and people judging me. i have felt for the last month really down. questioning my excistance and so on, so as soon as payday came i got a bottle of vodka to ease some of the pain, i know this isnt the answer but because i have had to deal with things on my own it has always been the easyest way to go to deal with some of the pain i feel. i just feel at the moment that i have got no answers to stop the pain i feel. apart from one. which i dont want to take. but i need to stop the pain because it is killing me.

Ijust needed to get what i feel out im not asking for any replys but if you do thats ok.

sorry to be depressing. i just need to type something

[Sharon]

I won't lecture you about the vodka, Jenny, although alcohol is just about the worse thing for you when you're depressed. It only makes it worse.

The only meager suggestion I can think to make about the situation at work is to perhaps do your best to act like your co-worker's childish and cruel words aren't having an affect on you. Hopefully, they will tire of their games and move onto something else to talk about. That's really all I have for you now since I don't know how you've been responding to them thus far.

Try to take strength in knowing that you are a much better person than they are and that there will be a day when you will be happy again. They, however, will still be jerks. :hugs: :hugs:

[Billijo49504]

You could always tell them, when you get back from your surgery, they will be the first to get a big hug and kiss. Or you can go to management with a discrimination complaint. Best to just let it roll off like rain...:drink:Have one on me....BJ

[Dressing Jill]

Add some flavor to the vodka. I'll have one with you here on the internet. I like brandy so I am having a brandy on the rocks. Lets get all teary eyed and have a good cry. That seem to always bring me out of the funk. Than there will be new light on everything. It is like putting on a new pair of glasses.

Enjoy your drink I will. Good luck at work.

[denise413]

Sorry to hear that you have been having a tough time at work. You know your work situation better than I do but I will say you have the right to simply clock in, do your job, and leave without being bothered. You don't have to socialize with people if you don't want to and these opinions people are giving you clearly aren't related to you or them getting the job done. If someone wants to say something like that to me, my response will be "Your opinion to me is worth exactly what I paid for it. Nothing." and then walk away. Good luck. Don't drink too much, though. :)

[Diane24]

Jenny,
Ignore the idiots at work! They probably aren't secure enough in their own sexuality to be able to deal with your sexuality. I certainly wouldn't change my choice of undies if I were you! I can understand drowning your sorrows in vodka, but as the others have said, it really wont help and it's not a good idea if you're already depressed and upset. If you aren't connected with a TS group or have someone you can talk to who knows and understands you, find a support group! You shouldn't be alone! You know everyone here supports you... we've all been through it. Keep your head up and ignore the B******S!

Love,
Diane

[Aubrey Green]

Sadly there are still alot of people in the stoneage, but there will also be those that accept who you are and will give you support. There are a thousand here. Someone you can trust to talk to is alot better than crawling into a bottle. Try support groups. Not everyone in your life will react that way and that is the opening you need to build your confidence in who you are and are going to be. Be Strong!! :daydreaming:

[Heatherx75]

Jenny, you can either pretend it's not bothering you, like the others have said, or you can look at this as a turning point in your life and march right out of that closet loud and proud. Go around like you've got a big scarlet T sewn onto the front of your shirt. I don't know what's going to work best for you, but we won't judge you however you deal with this.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Honey, I've been there. (Recently) Drinking:drink: doesn't solve anything it just makes you puke your guts out into the sink. And it makes you a bad speller too!:D
Every time I think the lights are going out in my life, that this is the end, for some reason somebody swaps out the light bulb for an even brighter one.:eek: Of course most of the time that "somebody" has to be me.:)
But that is the point. You can wallow in self pity all you want or you can reach up & say "SCREW IT!!":devil:, change the bulb yourself and get on with your life!:)

[Samantha Kelsey]

Just ask em if they'd like to borrow a pair of your knickers (but only if theyre smaller than you) otherwise keep out of their way and ignore them.

[Lisa Golightly]

I won't lecture you about the vodka, Jenny, although alcohol is just about the worse thing for you when you're depressed. It only makes it worse.

And if you're an idiot like me and drink it like water you'll only have to beat the addiction and wait while your liver slowly repairs itself before you can even start hormones...

[GypsyKaren]

You could just tell them the truth about yourself, nothing shuts people up like the truth.

Karen :wheelchair:

[Sheila]

You could just tell them the truth about yourself, nothing shuts people up like the truth.

Karen :wheelchair:

the Lady speaks sense :hugs: for you hun, hope you feel better soon and your co-workers stop being asses:hugs:

[MJ]

Ignore the idiots at work Karen is right just be truthful then if that don't work take it to management. drinking is not the answer sis

[decoratorpro]

I'm sorry to hear of your problems at work. Its so sad to know people are so miserable in there own sorrow, they have to try and make those around them just as miserable. If it were me, I'd do what I could to ignore them, and then as time goes by and they see they arent making you as miserable as them, they will find something else to grip about. And as other ladies have said tell them the truth. They will shut up then.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

and eventually they stop. I have been wearing thongs to work with form fitting pants for a long time. I was questioned from time to time about whether I wore underwear as no one could see underwear lines in my pants. I admitted to wearing thongs, "what of it" I said, they stopped asking whether I wore thongs, then they were curious what color I wore, so I answered black, red and pink were my favorite colors. Now they don't even ask me anymore.

The point is they are curious, they make fun of it, but eventually they tire of it. The worst thing to do is show them it bothers you, then they will keep teasing you about it. Simply, get a tougher skin, be proud of yourself and their insults and ribbing will stop.

As a lot of CDer's and TS's will attest too, if you show any shame for what you do, others will pick up on that and give you a hard time. If you are confident about yourself, what you wear or how you present yourself, people will accept you more readily for you. They will see a confident person.

To develop that confidence, you need to step out, become a thick skinned person for awhile and each time out you grow in confidence. You finally reach a point that it is normal for you to be you. Hope this advice help's. Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[JennyTG24]

I know and agree with what you are all saying, and i thank you so much for being honest with me. i know i should be confedent and show these narror minded people that it dosn't effect me. but it is hard when everyone there knocks you down for 8 hrs a day for 7 days a week. i have been hiding the fact that i am transgendered for years but i think your right it is time now to come out, tell them all, yes this is who i am. I guess it could only go 2 ways. but i wont find out what way untill i try. so i will try and be honest.

Thank you again

[Sejd]

first of all, Alcohol is a depressant. Secondly, I know times when I had a couple of glasses of wine and then wrote on the forum, and I always wrote something really stupid which I would not have written if I had been sober. So it's like drinking and driving, just don't do it. Have a glass when you feel fine. That's my advice.
Hope you are OK.
Sejd

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Sejd...you are so right!!! LOL....i have posted some stuff when I was "not sober" and I always cringe the next day...heh

and Jenny...you are doing something that's just really really hard...and girls here know it, but nobody else does, and frankly they never will.....

when people are staring or mocking, i find that a smile and hello pretty much shuts people up...people want to make us less than human because they don't understand us... that is more difficult on a daily work basis but as some folks here have said, the prouder and more confident you are, the less people will care and you might find some friendly folks...

and if you're ever ever feeling that horrible way..just come on here and rant and rave and we'll all make sure you know you are appreciated and loved like a sister.

michele

[Beth-Lock]

It is my experience that people often cannot handle it when you don't go all the way. People who used to laugh at me stopped when I went full-time. Things will get better.

[Hope]

I know and agree with what you are all saying, and i thank you so much for being honest with me. i know i should be confedent and show these narror minded people that it dosn't effect me. but it is hard when everyone there knocks you down for 8 hrs a day for 7 days a week. i have been hiding the fact that i am transgendered for years but i think your right it is time now to come out, tell them all, yes this is who i am. I guess it could only go 2 ways. but i wont find out what way untill i try. so i will try and be honest.

In my experience honesty isn't all that popular, but it is a LOT easier than trying to keep up with the lies. Being honest with people seriously de-complicates your life.

People may not like the truth, or be able to handle it, but it is not our place to decide what people can handle, or to supply them with only what they will like.

Of course there is always a third way. As a long-time ass-hole, and jokey, teasy, dick-wad, let me say that there is nothing less satisfying than teasing someone who doesn't provide a satisfying response. If the douche-nozzles at work give you crap about wearing panties, you have to be like Fonzie.

Them: "So what color panties do you have on to day? Are they lacy? blah blah blah Ha ha ha"

You: "They are pink, so what?" And then after an awkward moment of silence: "You have work?"

When teasing you stops being fun, they will stop teasing. I speak, shamefully, from experience.