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View Full Version : Came out to my GP as TG today



sandra-leigh
06-18-2009, 10:55 PM
Well, I came out (as transgendered) to my doctor (GP) this morning; I've been going to him for about 5 years about my depression.

I wasn't planning to, but in an attempt to bump up my confidence, he was asking how I would introduce myself to penpals who didn't know anything about me; I kept trying to equivocate about it depending on the context, and when he was asking about why, I had the choice of either telling him to drop the topic (and be unable to explain why so), or of lying... or of illustrating why the context made a significant difference. As I feel that it is counter-productive to my treatment to lie to my doctor, I told him. (It's one of the first things I discussed with my therapists, but I hadn't ever revealed it to my GP.)

He wasn't offended or disapproving at all; he asked some obvious questions about how it affected my spouse, and mentioned in passing that it helped explain why I have felt isolated from a young age --- that although I did not consciously know myself, that my -brain- knew and has been conflicted. He wasn't supportive in the "Oh, isn't that wonderful, you've moved beyond traditional gender" sort of way, but he did pretty much accept it as matter-of-fact and as something that I should continue with as it is an inherent part of me.

And he pretty much dared me to wear a dress and wig and all to one of my visits to him, if that was how I felt about myself internally.... that part was a little on the strange side, I felt. e,g. he could have phrased it as something like "You've never worn a dress or so on to one of your visits. If you feel comfortable being out in public, then you are welcome to wear the clothes of your choice when you visit here." But instead it was... I dunno, more like a challenge to stop restraining myself and to be who I am.

He did say that the life of a transgendered person is not easy, and did say that there is a social stigma associated with it, which was a bit of a cautionary note... but the overall tone was to be me and do the things that make me happy.

Bobbi Em
06-19-2009, 03:50 AM
Good for you! Good for him!! As a GP, and not a therapist, he sounds very, umm, enlightened? My GP believes in treating the whole person, not just the symptoms, so if your GP is trying to do the same thing, then it can only be beneficial to your long term care.

And I wouldn't get to het-up about how he phrases something, ie: "a challenge", it sounds like the good doctor is trying his best.

Best

Bobbi

sandra-leigh
07-16-2009, 01:10 PM
This morning was my next appointment. I didn't go the full dress and wig route (that takes a lot of time when you are out of practice!)... and besides, I wanted to do it on my own terms, not because he pretty much "dared" me to.

So, I went in an above-the-knee brown skirt with some embroidered flowers (nice, not "loud", not attention grabbing, but also not just a plain denim skirt); and I had on a nice but brown polyester shirt that is effectively a blouse; I had my D-cup forms (and as usual, on me they look no bigger than B at best); pearl earrings nearly hidden by my hair, and one of my favorite lipsticks that has a bunch of orange in it but comes out looking very muted and natural looking on me.

He congratulated me on taking the step; we talked about various issues I don't think I'll relate here; and he encouraged me to be more "out".

He was already getting into how I will want to go to work this way; when I hesitated a little about that, saying that I had sent an inquiry about the dress codes but not received and acknowledgment, he basically said "just go ahead and do it." I said that I'd prefer to talk to a gender therapist first: I don't feel comfortable in obviously dressing at work unless I know that management would support me (not just say "we can't do anything about it"), or at least not without some kind of "pass letter" that asks for accomedation.

Oh yes, he also was saying that I'd need a femme name; he was leaping ahead to the idea more to the transsexual side, the idea that I would dress more and more obviously as femme all of the time and people would need a female name for me. I talked about the one I've been using and why I'll be changing it, and we negotiated down to him calling me a femme name when I was presenting as femme and a male name otherwise.