Add another marriage down the tubes/update

[Sherry-Stephanie]

as of this evening....

Been discussing things of late she wanted to start going out to clubs withehr girlfriends and if something came along tha tcaught her eye she wanted to be able to bed it down...Since I haven't been able to perform as a man for 11 years due to a neurological illnessthat left me totally limp..I told her I was OK with that...

yesterdya she took advantage of that and tonight nite she told me that she stopped loving me about two months ago....she said it was because of the Crossdressing and how its's kicked in to over drive recently....

Sooooooo, another down the tubes....

The good thing is I will now be free to move back down to Florida which we moved from 10 years ago and I have really really missed terribley...and will plan on trying to get back down there this fall....

All in all and all I wish my soon to become ex the very best... I thank her for being in my life and it's for the best.

One thing I'll never understand though is why was the fact that I'm bi and she arranged my first bi experience for me and she's bi a bad thing to her but she being bi was OK....as she said I enjoyed it to much...I've never understood that concept. Me bi bad... her bi OK???? Can someone exlain that to me please???? Other thna she was jealous and felt threatned and if that was the case since this happened right after we started dating and moved in together so why did she marry me????

So don't feel sorry....its for the best....I get to be free and unattached and Stephanie will be out free now as well...and we'll be moving back to Florida...yahoooo!!!!!!!!! can't wait....

PS she won't be getting anything..I've given it over to her already jsut incase this day ever came....

OK so who wants to party now and celelbrate....next two nites are goingto be at the gay clubs in nashville.....anyone want to meet up????

[Deb The Brunette]

Hey at least you seem cool with it and I think it's great, I'd party with yer :battingeyelashes:



.

[kathrynjanos]

Well Steph, I'll still express my condolences - it still sucks when love ends, even if you don't feel it now or ever. But good luck, and based upon your wishes, even if she's a bit illogical, I also hope that what she does brings her happiness.

Hopefully you're going to be plenty happy with your own life back as you want it.

[Miranda09]

Always sorry to hear about a marriage breaking up, but it sounds like you're handling well. Maybe you've been ready for this for a long time? Anyway, you know you have friends here, so have fun back down in Florida. :)

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Please love my about to becoem ex with all my heart and soul only want the best for her and if she can't be happy with me then I'll let her fly free like a butterfly....she was there when I was serioulsy ill and paralyszed and she she had to feed me bathed me and everything else... She's a great girl she jsut couldn't accept this new phase that I've gone into...I can't fault her for that....I am not a man because I've lost the ability to perform as a man... she has a right to experience her womanhood....I want her happy that is the paramount love I have for her....her happiness for herself and if she can't get it from em anymore for who I am now then she needs to look else where....

She will never find anyone who loved her the way I do....nor will I.

So now I guess life will go on and we'll se ehat is over the next hill for both of us....

Please no Oh I'm so sorry....I don't need it it and rally don't want to look a tit that way....

Thanks...

PS I'm looking to go to the Ft. Myers area..so anyone can give me a heads up on how things are there now let me know...I lived in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area for 20 years but use to hang on vacation over in Ft. Myers Beach....

Dang this dressing stuff sure is toxic!!!!!

[linnea]

I guess that if it works out for both of you and you're happier, then good for you. It wouldn't have worked for me, and it appears to me that she used your CDing as an excuse, but that's just me being cynical I think.
Good luck.

[Marissa]

Sorry to hear that, but as you said its for the best.. I felt that way at first even though a part of me was let down since it looked like she stopped trying and starting looking out for her own needs vice fixing us..anyway.. its been for the best as you say.. but only gets better..if i can get her to stop on the railroad tracks with a train coming..oooppss! :eek: :D did i say that???? :) okay just kidding..honest :o

I was a bit confused reading about your future plans but then the 'blonde' (no offense..lol) light went out :doh:.. you were talking about you and 'Stephanie' moving back to Florida.., right???

I was thinking you meant you and your soon to be 'ex'.. :D duhhh.. sorry..

best of luck with this situation and hope it works out for all parties, especially you..

Hugs,

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Linnea..I think your closer to the truth than you think...she got tired of meing with a man who couldn't be a man anymore and simply used the dressing as her "out card" to be able to getback into being with guys....I've told her for years she was able to pursue somethignshe could..didn't see why she had to do without because I couldn't do it with her anymore...

BTW I had CIDP...it's in the MS ALS Polio family....it's in remission for now knock on wood....

[Aubrey Green]

I don't wish divorce on anyone. I went down that road twice before age 34. Been unmarried ever since. You sound very strong, but it probably wouldn't hurt to have a chat with a professional. I find it odd that it has only been two months for her, to come to this decision. I wish you the best of luck and enjoy sunny Florida, when you finally get back there!!! :daydreaming:

[Marissa]

Steph, I would hope you do know I was not making light of your situation.. sometimes humor eases the pain for me.. I feel for anyone going through a breakup.. did my two..and add a serious GF too.. none were easy..

Hugs,

[Tracii G]

Well SS you have total freedom now so best of luck.
BTW you can email anytime and tell me all the juicy gossip like always.LOL
My last two dates have been out the door awesome just to let you know.
And yes I was a very bad girl.:o

[Deedee Dupree]

Hi Steph,

I didn't see this coming at all. I had the impression everything was, well... tolerable. You are very brave and your well wishes for your wife's happiness is admirable to say the very least. I hope you stay in remission and find the happiness you deserve.

dd

[Bobbi Em]

My Dear S-S,

To be at peace with yourself, with all you've been through, is truly inspiring. I sense no bitterness or anger at what Life's thrown you. Here's hoping that the Best is truly yet to come.

Bobbi

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

So don't feel sorry....its for the best....I get to be free and unattached and Stephanie will be out free now as well...and we'll be moving back to Florida...yahoooo!!!!!!!!! can't wait....

It sounds like you and your future-ex are able to deal with the break up in a very adult and respectful way. I'm very happy for the both of you in that respect. You both know that it is time and rather than try and save a doomed relationship, you've chosen to pursue a more rewarding life apart. I think that's very admirable.

I don't feel sorry for you at all, but rather very hopeful about your future. I'm sure there are some difficulties in all of this, but you obviously know it is for the best and are looking forward toward the promise of better days ahead. Good for you!

Here's to BOTH of you finding a better life and the happiness that you each deserve in life. :)

:drink:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Hey it's my third (and final) divorce so I'm us to all of this stuff....14 years and I've known her for 20 so it's been a while....so I'm use to all of this....

Now my second marriage...hah that's a whole total different beast.....


Deedee...I didn't really see it coming either...there were just little things that were going on these past few weeks that didn't add up...must be the cop in me....she's been very good helping with the dressing etc...even up to a few days ago...it's just been eating away at her that I'm not going femme. As she has said I'm not the man she married...she even said it wouldn't matter if I stopped dressing....but she's looking to find some bi girls to start dating as well as guys...so I think that she just decided she wanted ehr freedon...part of it also si she wants to go out and party as well...

MY wife got very heavy over the past few years due to health issues and she has always had this need to be able to "turn heads"...andshe hasn't...she needs this to valid her self through her looks...I ahve tried and tried to get her to work out to losoe weigh to do something so she doesn't have any more strokes....but nothing....now a few guys start telling her she looks good and she's all motivated..so this is more about her freedom I think than anything....If it works out where she now starts dropping the weight and reduces her health risk then that's great....see a great motto for jenny Craig..."Drop your sissy husband and loose 40lbs instantly"!!!!

I'll forever be thankful for her sticking with me during those extremely difficult times and 've been with her during her tough times....but now it times we move on in different directions....we always said that our relation would last for all times...we were each other soulmate our rock our best friend...I guess the fact that we couldn't be each other lover in the end is what took the ship down....and I told her the other day that I loved her unconditionally..after all how many husbands would be OK with their wife having a boyfriend so they could be able to enjoy their womanhood....I told her that I loved her unconditionally and always would....but I got back from her that she loved me unconditioanlly as well, BUT....and that but was the dressing and as I told her if there is a BUT there then it's not unconditionally...and if you can't love me for everything I am today then it's over....with this new freedom that I've told her to go after she's gone nuts ..l"ike a kid in a candy store"....I could handle that...it's when she told me that her love for me changed a couple of months ago that did it in....

But I can say one thing here....I will not under any circumstnace get involved with anyone else....this puppy is going to be the Lone Ranger from here on out....I've had three marriages that lasted a total of 30 years....so I'm not sure what that says...but I have no desire to be involved with anyone from this point forward and have felt this way for a long time...I've often told my wife that if we ever broke up...(and I neverreally thought we would...but hey what do I know...) that I'd never get involved with anyone else....

I haven't seen my two kids from my second marriage in over 11 years...I don't have any brothers and sisters and the relatives are all scattered..the only one I had was my wife....so I'll be alone...but that's OK because that allows to me "travel light"...the only thing I want is the ashes of my German Shepherd who was my best friend and passed this past fall. Other thna that she gets everything house car etc...I put everything in her name when we got married..I told her that way no messy divorce...she gets everyhting up front. MY last
divorce cost me over $500,000. We've had it hard the past few years financially being in bankruptcy...I told her that she needs to get ahold of the attorney to see about getitng this terminated...got 8 moths left....because I'll be leaving my job in about 3-4 months. So there will be no income coming in at that time...once that is done I'l be out of her and on the road....You all have no idea how happy I'll be to get back home in Florida...I have missed there so much for the time I've been here in TN. going through this is almost worth the chance of going back to Florida....So I hope to be able to get otu and meet some of you girls girl down there and be able to party...and shop...

So anyone can help this girl transistion I'd be open to hearing from you all,....

Stephanie

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am sorry for your loss. And I am happy for your gain. I really don't understand the reasoning for her "bi" is ok. Your "bi" is not okay. When I was running around (with wife #2) with a group of swingers the female "bi" was encouraged quite a bit. And of course it was a sin if they caught you in a "bi" position. This is still true of most swinger clubs. Those double standards got me kicked out of one group. Dylen

[Joanne f]

I am sorry for the fact that marriages and relationships seam to be so unimportant to some these days .

[Trycia]

I'm sorry to hear of the struggles you are having to deal with, but I do hope this is the right step for both of you.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I talked to her a bit more today....seems the operative is "he's a crossdresser"...the real reason si she doesn't want to be saddled with a husband tha tcan't get it up anymore and she wants to go otu and party and be able to jump someone when she feels like it and have his in working order....

If she goes with that reason to family friend etc it makes her look bad...if she goes with my OMG my husband is now a crossdresser it amkes her look like the poor vivtim....in other words ito accomplish her task of being free I get thown under the bus when it comes to the "cause"...

Bottom line it appears she wants to get back into the world of the living and drop dead daddy here for something better and more functional ...

Oh well such is life....

[Nicki B]

...the real reason si she doesn't want to be saddled with a husband tha tcan't get it up anymore and she wants to go otu and party and be able to jump someone when she feels like it and have his in working order.....

Didn't she swear (as you did) - 'for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health'??? :sad:

[alexis GG]

Hi S S so sorry to hear about whats happened... :hugs:

[dawnmarrie1961]

I'm sorry to hear about the breakup of you marriage. It is always a sad thing when two people split up, no matter the reasons.

All I can say about this is I feel your pain because I have also been there.

The important thing to do is go on living. Sure you are going to have moments of depression, that's normal.

Best of luck on your future

[janelle]

So sorry to heat that as I am going thru the same thing. @-1/2 months & I am a single woman. The price we pay just to be our honest selves. Good luck sweetie & I am here if you wish to chat.

Hugs,
Janelle

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Didn't she swear (as you did) - 'for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health'???

I did through three strokes in the past two years and I don't know how many hospital visits and stays over the past 10 years.

So I guess she missed those lines....

[inquisitiv]

Sorry to hear about your breakup Steph. I realize that there's a lot of emotional turmoil going on right now, and I only want to wish you both the ability to come out of it ok in the end, and to find peace and happiness.

Hugs,

[stephaniesacd]

Stephanie...I wish you all the best in whatever comes your way next.

[Angie G]

Good luck in geting what you want in life Stephanie.:hugs:
Angie

[flatlander_48]

Sorry to hear about this development. There is a point where we have to realize that something (in this case a relationship) can't be fixed. We have 2 choices: be mournful and be totally suck OR make peace with it and move on. Intellectually we can do this, but it is often difficult in practice...

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Its all for the best I know and all...

The reality is I'm pretty much coming out of this by myself....which I'm not sure is good or bad thing...I have no other person really in my life...no bother sisters parents kids etc...but I'm free to do whatever it is I want....not beholding to anyone as well...

In time I'll be able to look back and have a better clarity on all of this...I know the relationship was going south for a few years anyway....no spark nothing to it....the wife would jsut sit around nite after nite on the couch with 4 or 5 dogs sitting on her lap and little conversation and just watch TV....so in reality maybe it's better to split than live like that....

I'll go wherever and at least get to do what I want to do....
I can't live like that I'll get up and get going and do things meet people etc....

So we'll see what the new chapter brings....


Steph

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

im divorced now for a year and a half,,never should have gotten married in the first place tho,,,all the wrong reasons,,,,

ALL of my family/relatives are in the eastern time zone,,,im in Phoenix,,,its very peacefull,,even the X is in MI...

i have a few friends out here and all my "gal pals" are lesbians,,,kinda sux if your looking for sex...

sometimes for your mental stability you NEED to split and go your seperate ways.....


only live once so why live it in misery

[Kate Simmons]

I wish you well Sherry. I am somewhat puzzled about your apparent calmness and acceptance of the whole situation though.:hugs:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Arrianna...why get my panties all twisted over this....

This si what she wants and she'll be happier and I want what's best for her....so be it.

I'm coming out of this a loser anyway....

A) I get to move back to Florida where I have wanted to be for the past 10 years since I did move from there... we moved up here because she wanted to be back with her family....

B) I get to live my wife free and uninhibited as who I want to be and who I am....and that's not bad...

C) There have been some rough spots in the relationship finances for one...and now I'll be able to control my money and won't have a wife that spends like a drunken sailor and constantly puts me in a bind to try and catch up and make ends meet....

D) she'll be happier and I'm glad for her... She'll never be able to say that I didn't give her everything I could...I only want those in my life who want to be there...

So it's not all bad....so what's to fret....

[Melinda G]

One thing I'll never understand though is why was the fact that I'm bi and she arranged my first bi experience for me and she's bi a bad thing to her but she being bi was OK....as she said I enjoyed it to much...I've never understood that concept. Me bi bad... her bi OK???? Can someone exlain that to me please???? Other thna she was jealous and felt threatned and if that was the case since this happened right after we started dating and moved in together so why did she marry me????

Sorry to arrive late to the party. Women think different than we do. You're never going to win. They never admit to anything. Look at it this way. You got your life back.

[Mistybtm]

I have been divorced for almost 10 years now and I could not be more happy the freedom to do what I want when I wanted to go where I want it is awsome. Good luck in Florida just watch out for those nasty Hurricanes

[Sherry-Stephanie]

"Ah, The truth has come out"....

This whole thing has had mmore twists and turns than a bad soap oprera....and then some additonal drama....

We had a problem this evening....

I had gotten dressed to go ot one of the clubs. Left the house and hadn't even gone a mile out of the road where we live and the wife clls in a toal panic. Seems one of the dogs, her favorite started yelping in a major way and loss the use of her hind legs....she tells me to turn around and come home...

I come back to the hosue check the dog and call the Vet....take the dog in adn it's not looking real good...short of a miracle the dog will probably need to be put down Monday....

Anyway, we're both very upset and with everything else going on we start talking...and it wasn't the "oh sorry" stuff....and it worked back on the marriage relationship issue...Bottom lien is the wife said that she probably fell out of love with me 10 years ago...it was about the time she had a hysterectomy and subsequentally was going through a period of depression/panic attacks related to the hystrectomy. I had said that i thought it wasn't the dressing because I felt that things went south about 5 years ago...so thats when she went on tell me whn she felt this way...She did admit that thedressing was an issue but not the deciding factor because she had already settled in to "not loving me the way she did" before the hystrectomy...

So we talked some more and have decided that we'll stay married in name only...share the house that way we both have a place and don't need to move...but she and I can come and go as we please....so basically we'll be "roommates"...we can have whomever we want over, but she doesn't think she'll have any guys over...

I can dress around the house however I want...come and go w/o any questions etc and she as well...

Bottom line is I think htis is the best resolution and a workable concept for us both...it will allow us the ability to have the best of our worlds and the comfort that goes along with it....

Like she said she doesn't want to lose me as a friend because over the past 20 years I have made her what she is today...but she still needs me in her life...jsut in a different way than in the past...
Bottom line...I can live with that....

Now lets see wha the next freakin twist is here...

[Deedee Dupree]

Hi Steph, Been following both threads and it's just amazing..... couldn't write a story like this. You said it...what's next. Well, now you have an open relationship and I hope it works out. Very nice to hear about your meeting up wth a new friend, especially after the aborted trip last week. Take care. dd

[Tracii G]

Wow Days of our lives huh?
Sounds like a reasonable deal to me I can uderstand the need for each other.
Best of luck Steph.Sorry to hear about your dog thats really sad.
I had to put mine down a while back and I really miss her.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Tracii can you spell "road trip"????

I think this will be a workable situation....at least I won't have to pack up a bunch of stuff....

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

yeh, thats how my x and i started out after the divorce,,then she started hangin around with the wrong crowd and changed,,,,im GLAD she moved back to mich to her moms.....maybe she will get her head out of her ass while shes there,,,,but i wont let her back under my roof if she moves back to Phx...

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Well I feel very good this morning....have had some time to think about how this has evloved to this point point and there isn't any regret...I am going to be able to keep my lifestyle intack...be able to stay housed and in time hopefully in a better financial situation...and keep my best friend...and be there for her and she'll be there for me...will things maybe turn around again at some point..well the way this has progressed over the eyars with us you never know but it's not something that we will need ..it will just happen...but for now we'll both be able to go and "do our own things"... and I think we both need to do that at this point and time....I hated the thoguht of having to find someone to cut my hair, paint my toenails and shave my back....she'll have someone who she can confide in and trust to give her straight advice....and cover her back...

So we move forward and see what tomorrow will bring...so it's not all bad....plus I get a bed all to myself....and no snoring anymore....LOL and that ain't a bad thing.....

[TommiTN]

Excellent, Steph! I was hoping you two could come to a compromise!

[Nicole Erin]

Didn't she swear (as you did) - 'for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health'??? :sad:

Oh yeah, that old cliché

NOW Sherry - she is probably playing some kind of game... "Maybe my spouse will quit CD'ing if I act like..."
if you want out of this marriage, make sure it happens, and don't fall for her crap. If she gets pregnant by one of her flings and tries to come after you, get paternity tests.

Once you get out from under this marriage, let freedom ring :D

[Sherry-Stephanie]

LOL Getting pregant isn't anything I'm concerned about...total hysterectomy 10 years ago...

NO I don't think the dressing is the issue here...there's more details here that play into this but then that would make it even a longer story....plus she and I haven't had any sexual encounters in 11 years since I got sick....and lost my manhood...

[Laura C]

hi steff, I winter in the ft meyers area so I will be down there in nov. There are a lot of us girls down there. We meet at TBLs club on Fridays and Sats. If you get down there before me you will meet a lot of great girls. Have fun Laura

[TxKimberly]

well you said dont feel sorry for you, non the less, it would be a cold day in hell when i celebrate the end of a marriage. I am so sorry that it has come to that for you, and hope that you both see your way to happiness. :-)

[Sherry-Stephanie]

MY brother in law (wife's brother) is having a major fit over us splitting....both at the wife already screwing around and with bikers no less and me for dressing....

He's a devout christian and basically have us both buring in hell from here on out....

My wife's attitude is he's my brother and all and I love him, but he doesn't pay my bills and he's not going to tell me what I can and can not do..screw him!!!!!....(if only she could come out of her shell and express herself better....)

Needless to say I guess we won't be invited over to Thanksgiving....

[AKAMichelle]

Families seem to have a fit about a lot of things. Take your pick. You work too many hours. You don't spend enough time with your wife and kids. You need to go back to school to get a better paying job. The famous - When are you going to have kids? It seems that family never 100% accepts us. There is always something for them to fuss about. You just got lucky to find something unusual (Crossdressing).

In the end they are the ones to complain the most about our decisions. They give us a pat on the back sometimes. You just can't please all of them. So stick to yourself. It's easier.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Amen Michelle....

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I've decided that I am going to start a new circle of friends....and guess what???? they are going to have similar interests as I have....might be a tad bit smaller but it's going to be a whole lot more interesting....

I've decided that I'm going to more or less go into the gay community...I think thye'll be much more suited to my lifestyle....hey it's not like I've got a lifetime left...more like a few years and I might as well make the most of it....

So I might at well have a blast before I call it a life....

[Bernadina]

I keep thinking that burning in Hell has to be more exciting than sitting around on clouds playing harps for eternity. Neither of which is likely to be true anyway.

If the worst he lays on you is dressing, than I don't think you'll end up anywhere nasty at all. After all he has no control over your life or your death either.

Sorry about Thanksgiving though. I guess you'll just have get dressed as a maid and cook you own bird.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Bernadina...LOL your funny...

He's really PO'd at his sister though....

[sissystephanie]

Bernadina...LOL your funny...

He's really PO'd at his sister though....

Sherry-Stephanie,

What, you don't cook or you don't have a maids outfit? Your BIL being PO'd at his sister is his problem! Your soon-to-be ex has the right idea about him. Just remember, God loves us all! Well, maybe not him!

[jazmine]

Hey....I'll be in hell too! I'll see you there! Don't worry, all the cool people are in hell, and the boring, ass-kissing, sheep,... goto that boring place. Whatever! ....12 years of catholic education has worn thin, and I'm sick of feeling guilty about being me.

They have one "hell" of a crossdressing club in .....hell. LOL.

I cannot, nor do I want to know a "god", that rewards and punishes it's creations. Life is hard and I do my best, hiking about this crazy rock and trying my best to follow my own commandment.........."Don't Be A Dick!"

That covers the whole gammet sister!

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I did 12 years of catholic school in Boston of all places...and only had one encounter with a frisky priest....

[Deedee Dupree]

The plot thickens... some good Thanksgiving suggestions there, and maybe send him a copy of Mark Twains, "Letters To The Earth" for Christmas :D As much as you love him he is not blood. I almost had an encounter with one of "them" too... last time I set foot in a church. dd

[trannie T]

I'm sorry about your marriage. Guess this means you won't be going to church with your brother in law.

[Miranda09]

Remember Milton..."Better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven.." :)

[Persephone]

They have one "hell" of a crossdressing club in .....hell. LOL.

There is NO crossdressing club in Hell! Duh, it's too damn hot to wear clothes, and even your makeup would melt. O.K., O.K., maybe a bikini, but that's it.

All the cool crossdressers go to Heaven. In the best orchestras the chicks who play harp wear formals.

[vikki2020]

Hey, "Birds of a Feather"--- sounds like a plan! Have fun,be careful, and remember where you parked the car!:thumbsup:

[Angie G]

Hay you go girl.:hugs:
Angie

And he's perfect?:hugs:
Angie

[Lisa Golightly]

He better hope his God is as intransient as he thinks or he may find he has a lot of explaining to do...

[Miranda-E]

Great attitude, embrace life.:thumbsup:

[Nicole Erin]

Are there actually people who care what their in-laws think?

And with him thinking you are going to hell, that is a popular belief of many devout religious folks, they think everyone but them is going to hell. The BIL is not God, it is not his decision what happens to anyone after death.

[Sheila]

god attitude your wife has to your BL .. none of his damned business ....... sory about the split ............ hope it is as amicable as those things get hun :hugs:

[Sheila]

well you said dont feel sorry for you, non the less, it would be a cold day in hell when i celebrate the end of a marriage. I am so sorry that it has come to that for you, and hope that you both see your way to happiness. :-)


I agree with kim, it is a sad sad day when the end of a mariage happens. I do hope the new living arrangements work out for you both

[deja true]

Sounds like a good thing to me. You can shed an obnoxious in law even easier than a cheating wife.

D'ja delete his number from your cell phone yet?

Or his "friends" piccie from your Facebook? LOL!

[Georgia Rose]

These religious people do have a queer idea about who goes to hell when you consider all the evil done in the name of religion over the centuries. We could probably all be counted as saints as compared to a lot of them. However saints who like to have a good time (slightly fallen saints maybe).

Sounds like you are better off out of that family.

Have one of these :drink: and move on.

[Teri Jean]

It seams from my own experiances, families are the worst critics and road blocks we face. Years ago I was ostracized for a choice of religion and have not recovered even though it has been 30 years. CDing may bring out the same misguided feelings from the same individuals. Sad to say that is their choice and their loss.

Keli

[falcongts]

Hi sherry
Sorry to hear about your marrage its sad indeed

IM a christian to be saved is a gift
For anyone to say your going to hell (ive been there)does not understand what jesus did on the cross He died for all sin that all may be saved
that all who accept his gift may be restored to a sinless state

For me I closet crossdress
sweater dress,blond wig,6 inch high heels
we could bring up scripture and argue lets not

hell is a place without god to cry all the time forever over I had a chance to accept Jesus as my savior and did not Would be very sad

heaven is a place with god All who have accepted jesus as savior we go to heaven AND we come BACK to A RESTORED EARTH!! WITH GOD
Its a gift for all to accept The choice

When I get to heaven I will be in awe of his presents THE desire for me to sin of any kind will be gone Ive had a taste of heaven and hell

In love SISTERS choose life
Terri

[BarbiB]

I didn't read EVERYthing in this thread.... BUT.

If you and she are both bi... And you both are OK with extra marital affairs.
And you still love and respect each other.

Why bother with the divorce?

ESPECIALLY if you will never get married again?
With the state of both of your healths, you may need each other again one day.

Leave each other ..Have fun.. And stay in touch.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Interesting to say the least....But and that's a bit word at the moment...it really is....

Hurt feelings crossed words things said out of anger and frustration and self doubts....plans for going this way and that way....but conversation all along...one of our trade mark qualitys between her and I.

and a long conversation this morning when she came in at 5:OOAM from being out for the evening - early morning...a couple of hugs and some kisses and promises that we'll always love each other regardless of what happens or what direction we go in....and a large pot of coffee....and an hour and a half later we came to the realization and conclusion that neither one of wants or can stand to be without the other....and our love is still strong for each other regardless of how it's dfined....so we're going to give each other their space and free leash but stay together...not even think of divorce probably never will...and work through this and once the dust settles at some point down the road and it will be a whole lot sooner that later because the wife is thinking that maybe this being foot lose and fancy free isn't what it's all cracked up to be....when the dust settles we'll see where we'r at and go from there...at best our relationship will be proven to be stronger than we thought and at worse we'll be ach other's best friend....and that won't be a bad thing....

See where we go....

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Good for you both, Sherry. I so wish you the best of luck. If I weren't headed off to bed I'd relate the story of the time my wife and I had the same conversation. Don't let go of one another.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[sissystephanie]

Sherry, I can only wish the best for both of you. Your story started off sad, but what a great ending! I have always said that open communication will solve lots of problems, and your story is proof of that. It is also proof that true love can overcome many obstacles.

I told my wife before were married, so she did have any surprises afterwards. She became fully supportive, fixing my wig and doing my makeup when I was going out totally enfemme. She decided that she liked me as Stephanie enough to go out in public with me. We had much fun as two girls shopping, eating, and just having fun. Maybe you will get to that stage at some time!! Gook Luck!!:hugs::hugs:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

and she also wants to go out to the clubs with Stephanie as well....

[Lorileah]

No matter what happens in life the person you fell in love with is always there inside somewhere. We often lose track of them and we get buried in our own world. If people would look in their partners eyes they would see why they got together in the beginning. Love has a way of burning long after the fire is gone Good luck, I am glad you are staying together

[Teri Jean]

Sherry, I will add to the others in saying hang tight and work together. You both love each other very much and yes we have a way of forgetting that but don't give up.

My heart goes out to you both, wish you both the best.

Keli

[Sheila]

hoping for the best for both of you .............. :hugs:

[babyrene]

Sherry...Huggs ..I told my wife once you could tell whom ever she wished whatever she wished...i took the power away from her! That i refused to be ashamed of how i feal any longer! Good luck!

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Thanks for all of your well wishes....it help at this time....

Tonight I am going out with one of my wife's friend and co-worker...a "two girls nite out" to a club thing...so see ...this whole thing is not your "normal" situation here...and my wife knows about it as well and is OK with it....

Anyway, what this whole thing has boiled down to is its a decision that will be taking place for my wife...and not really for me....and that is this...she must decide what she wants....to be in love with me as I am...non fucntioning male, a cder/tgirl...but someone who she admits loves her far greater (and has proven that love over, & over & over again though 14 years+ of being married...) or does she want to be single foot free and able to do whatever she wants with whomever she wants whenever she wants...but as she is aware of she can't have ehr cake and eat it too...she can't be out there being a party girl going out with guys and having me at home waiting for her...Yes I am doing that at the moment and will continue to do so for a while more...how long???? well it's not a time thing as much as it is a where are the heart(s) at thing...there will be a time that I will reach where she is coming back to me or she is moving away from me and I will decide this....

Is my heart (and hers) with each other as husband and wife...if so my heart (and love) will be with her....but if she wants to be free then my heart will be in Florida...and I'll be gone...

She admits that she's enjoying being single...but she's also finding that it's not cracked up to be what one thinks it is when one is not out there...and she realizes that I may be gone from her one day and that scares her..and she admits that she can't imagine me not in her life...and she feels like her right arm would be gone...

I've talked at length with one of my peopel at work who is a very close friend, also a pastor who does counseling to married couples...

He knows my wife, has met her and spoken to her on a number of ocassions....

He says that if any couple can pull this off...the letting go being free and then coming back w/o any reentment over the fact of what went on while in the "free state" it will be us....and he feels that in a short time after she's had her chance "sow some wild oats" she'll make her decison and it won't be for "singlehood"....and what will come out of her decision (it's really going to be her's more so than my decison here) are two people who are much stronger individually as well as our relationship becoming much stronger....but if she decides that singlehood is the way she wants to go then singlehood it will be...one can't be married and not the other here...then I'll decide where i go from there...and obviously as I stated before if my heart isn't with her then my heart will be in Florida....

If this holds true, I see us renewing our love and commitment to each other and accepting both for what we are and who we are...simple as that...

So as you can see with what I have written thruoughout this thread this is one of those really different situations between a couple...a husband and wife....and the reason that I am sharing this with you all is so that if you find yourself in a marriage and there are problems developing with you and your wife you might be able to use my difficults to draw some understand and wisdom in addressing your issues and that I am pleased to be able to do here...

So it's just a matter of time before this all gets sorted out and a decision is made....nut it's going to be interesting at least from this point forard...for my wife although athe moment has her cake and eating it as well, that will not go on forever...for at some point and time she must decide...singlehood or me...and she realizes she can't have both....she jsut nowmust decide which is more important to her...and that's what she is doing at this point...

Nothing more and nothing less....

Again thanks for all the well wishes and support...

Stehanie...

[docrobbysherry]

3 divorces? ( Or, 2 FOR SURE, and 1 maybe?) One, was TOO MANY for me!:brolleyes:

So, when u started the thread, u seemed to accept that it was time to split up and move on with your lives, individually.:straightface:

U sounded hopeful, positive, and anxious to move on.:thumbsup:

Now, your wife has decided to keep u hanging, and that's OK with u?:eek:

It DOESN'T sound like a workable situation to me. But, HEY! ANY WAY two people can live together and make their relationship work, well GOOD FOR U!

Personally, when the SEX STOPS, I think the marriage is over! U can stay, for WHATEVER reasons, but you'll just be roommates!
And THAT wouldn't work for me!:doh:

But, if it does for u, Sherry! Go for it, girl!:D

[Sherry-Stephanie]

LOL Sherry....the sex stopped for us 11 years ago when I became paralyzed....from the waist down and it killed the nerves in my extrmeities and yes it affected that extremity as well so the sex stoped then....but we still survived.

I still feel the same way that I did when I first started this thread...the only thing that changed is we've talked a lot over the past few says or couple of weeks....and she's not sure what she wants at this point. So I'm willing to give her some space and time...and see where this goes...neither oen of us is in a position to simply up and go. My job is going to be ending in a couple of months as well so I'll be looking for something new. I might need to hang out here anyway....then again I might be heading out for some new place to continue my life with...

So nothing has to be done at this moment...no rush....no must do it right now!!!!


Now, your wife has decided to keep u hanging, and that's OK with u?

Yup I'm OK with that....I'll give her time to see where she wants to go with our marriage...see if she really wants to be single or not...that's how much I love her....I think I can at least let her take a bit of time to decide. MY ego isn't that big that I need to put a dagger into our marriage immediately.