coming out to friends

[Christina89]

hey ladies i was looking for some help. i want to come out to one of my friends about being a crossdresser. do u ladies have any advice on how i can go ahead and do this? i'm gonna be tellng her this by phone because she lives in another state.

thanks,
lara

[Bobbi Em]

Hi Lara,

First, make sure that your friend has plenty of time to chat and won't have to cut off the conversation early. She may have a few questions:-)

I told my favorite cousin by phone, simply because I don't see her very often and thought she'd get a giggle out of it...Which she did, and then called me back the next week all excited because I'd inspired her, at the age of 40, to buy her first thong.

I usually stress one of two things when I come out to someone.

1. It's FUN! Why should women get to wear all the pretty clothes?...No woman has ever disagreed with this:-)

2. If it is a more serious person/group, then I'll use the poem by Pastor Martin Niemöller: First They Came

This worked well at my church. It's one thing to be comfortable myself, it's another thing to see how society reacts/treats those who are Creatively Gendered. So when you think of it as an ethical problem, then remaining silent, or in the closet, is no longer an option for me.

Please understand that I am in a unique position to do this in my life because I have nothing to lose. Not everyone has that luxury, so we all do the best that we can.

3. See #1...It's FUN!!!...& we're just doing our part to help the economy by spending spending spending:-)

Best

Bobbi

P.S...Just for reference

Original Translation: First They Came

Als die Nazis die Kommunisten holten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Kommunist.
Als sie die Sozialdemokraten einsperrten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Sozialdemokrat.
Als sie die Gewerkschafter holten,
habe ich nicht protestiert;
ich war ja kein Gewerkschafter.
Als sie die Juden holten,
habe ich geschwiegen;
ich war ja kein Jude.
Als sie mich holten,
gab es keinen mehr, der protestieren konnte.

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
Then they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
I did not protest;
I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out for me.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Lara, Its different for everyone, but one thing's for sure--THERE WILL BE A REACTION!!!!! I guess the only way to do it is to say to her that you have something to say to her and that she is a very special person to you. And that you feel very confident she will understand. Make it simple and be prepared for questions and answer them honestly. One of two things will happen; 1st: she will thank you for taking her into your confidence and be supportive or 2nd she will hang up on you!!Personally I think the first one will be the one.

GOOD LUCK and pls let us know, OK?????

Love; Mollyanne

[Erika_girliegirl]

please do it hun! you need to tell someone.. if you need to talk about any of it i will be back tomorrow morning.. bye girlie

[Michelle S]

You'd probably want to stress that this is not something she should tell others about.

[deja true]

I think face to face is always the very best option. That way you have their full attention... and so much in an important and personal conversation is related by facial expressions and gestures.

Of the several friends I have come out to recently, my opening line into that conversation is always a positive one... on the order of "You know me for a good person, right? I need to share with you something very important to me..."

Do not start with anything like "We have to talk!" It's kinda confrontational and immediately puts people on their guard, since many uncomfortable, bad news chats tend to start that way..."

Good luck, Lara.

While coming out to friends and relatives is fraught with anxiety, the relief of acceptance is a tidal wave of good feelings!

:)

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

hey ladies i was looking for some help. i want to come out to one of my friends about being a crossdresser. do u ladies have any advice on how i can go ahead and do this? i'm gonna be tellng her this by phone because she lives in another state.

thanks,
lara

I think one of many important things is to be sure that you share this information right. Remember - you are sharing a beautiful gift with your friend, NOT some terrible addiction or affliction or condition or illness you suffer from. How you share this side of you will affect how the news is taken - keep that in mind. Be proud of who you are and what you have to share with your friend. :)

Good luck. :)

[BarbiB]

If the label on the can says "WORMS" I don't open it.

[Christina89]

hey i just wanted to let u kno that i came out one of my friends to. it felt good. i was glad that i was able to tell i first told her i liked to wear women's panties and told her that when i wear the panties i put a dress on and she was like "so u cross dress. i told her yes. she said that wat i do doesn't hurt anyone. and then i told her i was a member on this site and told her about all the people i met on here that have helped me out. she said it was good that i told someone and that i found some where with people who support me. i also told her my favorite women's clothing is swimsuits. i just haven't told her i mainly love boy short panties. but i will next time i talk to her. i asked her if she was freaked out. she told me no. she said that God makes us who we r and no one should care about how someone else is different. i'm glad she understood. maybe i'll visit her one day and she if she'll help dress me up more fem like. i would love for her to do that to me. plus i'll try and raid her underwear draw. lo. i'm joking. i wouldn't do that to her.

[Teri Jean]

When I came out to a co-worker she said "wow, I know you dressed up for Halloween and I thought you did too good of a job but never put this into it". We talked for some time before parting for the day. The next day she asked if I had any pictures, of which I shared two, and then she made the comment "why is it you look better than we girls?".

As some has said take the time to answer the questions and do not hurry it. Good luck girl.

Huggs Keli

[Samantha Kelsey]

I feel that something this personal should be face to face it really is the only fair way. You could show her a photo also so that she could see what you;re all about.