Anyone have any guilt about someone that has been hurt by your dressing.

[Janine G]

I have been thinking about trying to talk with my mom about my dressing, again. She caught me a few times growing up. The last time she walked in on me. I was dressed in her nightgown with a friend in an awkward position. After we looked at each other dumb founded for a minute, she locked herself in her room and cried for quite sometime. The minute I try to bring up my dressing she changes the subject . She seems to be hurt by it and tries to deny it, just pretend it doesn't happen. Has anyone had any luck getting someone like this to open up.

[Miranda-E]

People's feelings are there own, I can't feel guilty about existing.

[MeraLehanga]

How much do you agree with me?

Sorry, this nightmarish life wherein nobody from the other side could ever comprehend, understand or even tries a little bit how we suffer between two genders and our desires. They all want us to act and behave and feel in a certtain way, whether we lke it or not or else get rejected.

Now dont take out examples of a few select extremely matured folks, but I am talking in general. 99.9 percent of us folks dont walk in public with our head held high, although we dont owe anyone a dime. Its tragic, and will remain tragic, we get mocked at, abused and what not, although in social circles remarkably so we maintain the highest level of decency and manners.

its all unfortunate, I just sum it up as this world is full of double standards = hypocrites. Biologically we are born like this, but they all need not us, psychiatric help for not accepting the nature's phenomena - US!

[Deedee Dupree]

Hi Janine, Well, if she always reacts this way there isn't much you can do except not force it on her. At least you won't be setting yourself up for additional rejection. IMO, just go about finding your own happiness as you are doing now and maybe sometime in the future your happiness will "rub off" on her in a positive way and you can bring it up again then.

[kellycan27]

How much do you agree with me?

Sorry, this nightmarish life wherein nobody from the other side could ever comprehend, understand or even tries a little bit how we suffer between two genders and our desires. They all want us to act and behave and feel in a certtain way, whether we lke it or not or else get rejected.

Now dont take out examples of a few select extremely matured folks, but I am talking in general. 99.9 percent of us folks dont walk in public with our head held high, although we dont owe anyone a dime. Its tragic, and will remain tragic, we get mocked at, abused and what not, although in social circles remarkably so we maintain the highest level of decency and manners.

its all unfortunate, I just sum it up as this world is full of double standards = hypocrites. Biologically we are born like this, but they all need not us, psychiatric help for not accepting the nature's phenomena - US!

I think that you find plenty of us who walk with our heads held high. NOT everyone rejects us, and not everyone abuses us. Sure there are those narrow minded people out there,but you can't blame everyone for those who won't accept.

Now as for the OP.. I must say that I do feel a bit of guilt in regards to my father. He passed away before he and I could resolve this thing. I wish he could have stayed around long enough to see that this is what I was truly meant to be, and to see how happy and comfortable I am with my life.

[Bobbi Em]

It might be a good idea to try to separate the "dressing" from the "awkward position"...If nothing else, I doubt if she'll walk in unannounced anymore.

A therapist told me years ago that guilt is a healthy emotion, for about 5 minutes, then it becomes someone else's problem.

Bobbi

[Janine G]

A considerable amount of time has passed since she saw me dressed. I'm going to try and work up the courage to talk about this again. Her acceptance is important to me. I'm not sure why but it is.

[Bobbi Em]

A considerable amount of time has passed since she saw me dressed. I'm going to try and work up the courage to talk about this again. Her acceptance is important to me. I'm not sure why but it is.

Janine, I'd say it's important because you love her, and you want her to love you. ALL of you.

Another thing to keep in mind when you talk to her, is that if she, in her own mind, sees CDing as something "wrong", then she might be wondering what she did to cause it. Try to reassure her that she didn't do anything wrong. Nor have you.

Bobbi

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Not many people who know me (as my man-side) know I dress. When more people find out, I'm sure I'll get different reactions. Regardless of how anyone in my family reacts to my dressing, I will feel zero guilt. It's not my problem if someone isn't happy with who I am. I LOVE who I am.

My mother caught me trying on one of her skirts when I was 12. It was a very traumatic experience and she made me feel very bad about it. I really thought I was done for. I spent the next (approx) 25 years of my life hating myself because of that (http://www.mycdlife.com/2009/04/getting-busted-and-learning-to-hate-myself) (thinking I was some terrible person as a result). Who made who feel guilty there?

I'm not wasting another minute on guilt or any other negative and unnecessary emotion associated to my dressing. I've wasted too much time already.

If someone is ever "hurt" when they find out who I really am, it is out of their own selfishness. I was guilted into so many things in my youth. It made me quite miserable.

If I didn't turn out how someone else wanted me to turn out, why on earth would I feel guilty about it? This is my life, not theirs. It's not fair if they get to live their life how they want AND tell me how to live mine as well. I didn't get to tell anyone else how to live their life, nor would I try to.

This is me. Love me, hate me, accept me or not. There is nothing wrong with me. Society has to get out of the 1950's when it comes to transgendered issues. I do not feel any guilt associated with being myself, nor will I ever again.

[Carly D.]

For me I can't help how others feel or rather I can't help but care about what others feel.. that's why I can't tell anyone.. it's why I stay in the closet and in the shadows.. I hate myself sometimes and other times I feel like.. it's ok to dress up..