Tired of the term crossdresser

[JoAnne Wheeler]

When I was younger and totally lived in the dark (thinking that I was the only male in the entire world that loved to dress in feminine clothes) I was called a Transvestite (a word that I hate).

When I got out of the dark (by finding this Forum), I discovered that I could be called a Crossdresser instead of a Transvestite. I also discovered that I am part of the Transgendered community. This made me feel much better.

But now, after I have come to accept what I am and what I love to do, I do not like the term Crossdresser. I am not crossdressing. These are my chosen clothes. I bought them. I love them. I wear them. They make me feel complete. I no longer am "crossing" anything. I am now who I am am I am at ease with it and I love it, and low and behold, IT IS ME !!!

Do any of you feel like that as you have traveled further on this wonderful journey into femininty ?

No longer feel like a crossdresser - Just feel like I am supposed too.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Girdlewoman]

I couldn't agree more. I have been on a similar "voyage of discovery" and have decided to just use the term transgendered and leave it at that. I loath labels anyway. Thank's for your insight. Peace, Charlene

[RWillow]

Thanks JoAnne, you put into words what I have been thinking for sometime now.

[Samantha43]

Labels don't really bother me. I am a man who wears mens clothing most of the time, but who also likes to wear women's clothing occasionally. If a label needs to be applied to that, then "crossdresser" is okay. It seems we as a society need a label for everything.

I don't consider myself "transgendered". I prefer to live my life as a man. I just have an interesting hobby...:)

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

So long as our society has such a strong divide in gender roles (in terms of acceptable personal presentation for men), I think some kind of term will be necessary. I really don't mind crossdresser, personally.

I completely understand just wanting to be referred to as simply being you. In reality, that is what we're all doing - just being ourselves. But with such distinct (and restricting) gender rules in place today, I think some kind term will be necessary for some time to come. People need simple descriptors for things. "Crossdresser" is a lot easier than saying "someone with male genitalia who dresses in the attire generally worn by someone with female genitalia". Not really a biggie to me, though I'd very much like to see the "gender rules" relaxed.

I'm a crossdresser, but more importantly, I'm just being who I am.

[Dr.Susan]

Well what term would you like others to address you by?

[Sarah Doepner]

It would be nice to move beyond the lables, but it seems society needs some kinds of shorthand way to categorize and sort out everyone. I only wish they could move beyond the negative, incorrect and abusive stereotypes when they use those lables.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi JoAnne-

Good for you, labels can be kind of limiting, especially other people's perceptions of what those labels mean. Unfortunately, there's not much of a way around it, except to just ignore them personally and keep on being yourself.

As far as I'm concerned, you can call me anything you want, and I've been called some doozies, just don't call me late for happy hour.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

F..K labels.........we are all HUMANS.....

but because we are still surounded by small minded cave dwelling morons we need labels for them to wrap their tiny pea brains around so they can deal with something that dont fit into their little world of "normal"

[TGMarla]

JoAnne, whereas I know exactly where you're coming from on this, the current status quo dictates the terminology. When I am dressed, I feel terrific. I don't feel out of place one bit, and my soul is comfortable. But at the same time, I am acutely aware that others do not see it that way, and that I'm still somewhat bound by the societal norms. When I go out, I feel terrific, but my heart still races. I feel like it's "normal" for me, but I still get nervous. So while I feel the same way you do about it, there's still a part of me that yells (quietly now) that I'm doing something that is unacceptable. That this is somehow wrong, even though we here know that it's not.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

It may be socially unacceptable, but I am at peace with myself - I no loner consider myself to be a crossdresser - I consider myself to be the REAL me

If that is unacceptable to society, so be it - but I have reached that point of acceptance in JoAnne's life that I no longer have to place a demeaning label on myself - I love being the most feminine Girl (JoAnne) that I can be and I am the happiest that I have ever been in my life (well, JoAnne's life)

I love all of your comments and hope to hear a lot more

JoAnne Wheeler

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I have an intense dislike of the term cross-dresser. It's akin to calling a gay man a b*ggerer. Transvestite means the same thing but in Latin to make it sound posh. I regard myself as Gender Variant because my gender identity isn't closely aligned to my birth sex. As I sometimes present as male and sometimes as female I therefore enact two gender roles which makes me Dual-Role Gender Variant although I tend to shorten that to Dual-Role Transgender. When I present as female I may undergo a process which some would label cross-dressing but to label me a cross-dresser is as meaningless as labelling me an eater because I eat when I'm hungry.

[Kate Simmons]

Gender is no longer a part of it for me. I appreciate everyone for who they are as a person. I guess that makes me a "peopleist", no?:)

[vivianann]

I have been going through the same thoughts too, I understand totaly what you are saying about being comfortable in feminine clothes, and to feel complete when wearing dresses. I have finally found a place, and that place is called femininity, and I love it. 20 years ago I would have never believed that I would reach a point where I would be more comfortable in femme mode in public than in male mode. And like you said it is me.


I :love: femininty

[LA CINDY LOVE]

Well what term would you like others to address you by?
We will all ways have some type of labels put on us....but as for now we are all going to labels as crossdressers.....not a term that I like to be called.......but when I am out with other Cds or people that I meet out and about I tell them that I am not a crossdresser..
..........I AM A DRESSER.

LA CINDY LOVE

[Lorileah]

Whenever we attend meetings they have you fill out a tag to wear. I tend to be brief and just use my first name but others seemingly will fill out first and last name and all the academic letters and phone and business name and pet's name.


But the best one was at one meeting a woman wrote "Nunya". Of course that led to people saying my what an unusual name. She replied "That isn't my name. It means Nun ya business".

Labels can be fun

[AllieSF]

I can understand your dislike for the label. I too enjoy just being me. However,I do not want to be caught up in the "what label do I fit under" issue. I also understand that labels, like the term "pigeon holes", are used by most people, including me to get an initial grasp on a topic, person, country, culture or whatever based on our personal knowledge and experience. That helps me to initially understand better the person I am talking with or relating with. I always keep an open mind and only use it internally to try to better understand who or what the other person or topic may be. I easily and readily modify my initial thinking as I learn more about that person or topic. I am also very comfortable with myself now, and will not let words derail my enjoyment of this phase of my life. I hear the labels and sometimes use them to describe myself as a CDer, high handicap golfer and a mature person who occassionally suffers those "senior moments". I truly feel that there are much more important things to worry about than the use or non-use of lables, unless they are used in a derogative manner. Crossdresser is not a derogative word in itself, but rather a desriptive one.

[divamissz]

Well what term would you like others to address you by?

You could just address me by my name. That's all that matters.

[GaleWarning]

Well what term would you like others to address you by?

I agree. Why not simply be known by our name?
Labels are so demeaning.
Our own names are so empowering.
And the clothes really are meaningless.

[Joanne f]

I completely agree with you as i do not look upon myself as a cross dresser.

[shesadvl]

comes to a point that I have mentioned in some of my comments in the forum that I address whomever I am refering to by their name....not a he or a she,... no label attached, no matter if I know you personally or not... its by the name given.....unless I yam told otherwise.... same as being called a Mr or a Mrs or Miss... im neither of those..... no matter I have been married oi just like to be called Irene...:battingeyelashes:...yup dats me... "shesadvl "...thats my wicked devlish sense of humour & personality....laffing....:devil: :battingeyelashes:

[Ralph]

You can decide it's inaccurate to call you a human and from now on you believe you should be called a space shuttle, but that doesn't make you one nor does it make you stop being a human.

Look, whether you think you are crossing your own personal boundaries isn't the point. "Crossdressing" (which is just English for the Latin "transvestism"... so why do the two identical terms mean something different?) just means that your choice of clothes "crosses" society's dividing line between the sexes. You want to argue that the dividing line is stupid and arbitrary, I'll be right beside you waving signs. But most folks of our persuasion openly state that they wish to "dress like a girl" or "feel more like a woman" or "be considered female" - so obviously at some level we also agree with society's dividing line, and we are choosing to CROSS it. Hence the term.

Until the day your anatomical gender and the commonly accepted gender that is the intended market for the clothes you wear, your clothing choice CROSSES from your anatomy to the label on that skirt.

You're even free to say you don't like the term and you would rather be called something else, great, I'll be glad to call you "space shuttle" at your request... but it doesn't stop you from being a crossdresser, it just stops people from calling you one if they want to humor you.

[ReineD]

If you ever need to define yourself to someone, for example a new person in your life, you might think about saying you are transgendered? This means you were born one birth gender and you "trans"cend it by wearing clothes commonly worn by the other gender.

I know many people don't like labels, but they really are necessary for communication.

[Lisa Golightly]

When I first appeared in the 'scene' there were a lot of people who wanted me to define myself by a label... So I did... My own... Always have been and always will be the Original Glamsexual. ;)

[Angie G]

I tend not to worry about such things I'm a girl at heart and that's all I need to know.:hugs:
Angie

[mishelle379]

Amen

[deja true]

I find the term a little awkward, too, and hardly ever use it these days. Except when I'm trying to interest someone in this site. But often I'm talking to transitioning women or transmen or even vanilla friends and so have to go on with the explanation that our family here also encompasses trans folks of all flavors gender and sexuality wise, (transmen, transitioning folks, genderqueer, asexual, fetishists, etc., etc. ...).

Because the media has tended to pick up the term and seems to use it interchangeably with the dreaded "transvestite" ("Crossdressing Thief Caught on Security Camera"), it appears to be acquiring the same kinda somewhat derogatory connotations as the t-word.

I'm more than likely to use 'transgendered' these days. The word has a more positive connotation, I'm thinking, as it appears most often in the more serious and sympathetic articles and programs about us, and is readily understood these days by the general public. 'Gender Variant' is becoming a favorite for me, too, but often needs a little explanation.

"Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the Soul within..." Tennyson

;)

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

when someone askes me where im from i say "my parents"
and when they ask me what am i,i say "im human, what are you" with a smile..
and all my GLBT friends like the fact that i say to hell with labels we are all humans.... :D

[Nicki B]

Well what term would you like others to address you by?

Why not use a wide, cover-all term - like trans, or TG?


Let's concentrate on our similarities, not our differences?

[Miranda09]

I never have been one for labels. Too retrictive and forces people to fit into a certain typecast mold, which is not possible. As I have learned over the 3 months I've been here, this is a very complex community. If a label must be used, then TG is all-encompassing enough to satisfy.

[stormrider]

This reminds me of an incident one day last winter. I was visiting the place I used to work during a busy weekend. One of my former co-workers came over to where I was talking to a group of friends and being a person of very little tact, asked me "Are you a crossdresser?". I misheard him at first and said no not really. When he asked again, I deflected his question with a question of my own and the topic was promptly "forgotten" by the obviously embarrassed group of friends I was with. With the subject changed, the person asking the question, must have realized he was out of line asking something like that in public and we discussed it no more. When I got ome, I started thinking about it and, well yes, I can still be considered a crossdresser. I have long since realized that I am a woman, I just don't have the body to fit me. However, I do crossdress. Every day I work, I get up and put on the suit that the business I work for requires. It is not a coat and tie, but it is a male oriented uniform. In spite of my panties and nylons or my feminine socks, I still dress outwardly in the clothes of the oposite sex.

Michelle

[Ashleigh]

As has been mentioned already, I also don't like labels. Society however seems to require them and uses these labels to isolate groups of people based on certain aspects - be it sex, color, religion, height, weight, sexual orientation, or whatever. This is WRONG. I hate labels and hate the labeling of people.

The term transvestite is not an accurate description of me or others like me. Crossdresser is also not accurate. These terms are used by those who are hateful or naive to take down someone different than they are.

What term should we use? How about human being?

[nancyish]

Dear Jo, you are an evolved person that knows and loves who you are,great looking and loves bluegrass(how cool is that?),are you really human?lol,love Nancy

[Miranda-E]

I'm more than likely to use 'transgendered' these days. The word has a more positive connotation, I'm thinking, as it appears most often in the more serious and sympathetic articles and programs about us, and is readily understood these days by the general public. 'Gender Variant' is becoming a favorite for me, too, but often needs a little explanation.


;)

I generally use transgendered whenever possible. The word crossdresser has taken on a rather homophobic aspect over the past ten years. Originally put into use to avoid a percived stigma of the word transvestite, its taken on one of its own.

[Ralph]

The term transvestite is not an accurate description of me or others like me. Crossdresser is also not accurate. These terms are used by those who are hateful or naive to take down someone different than they are.
Yeah, that would be why this site has such a hateful, derogatory name.

What on earth are you talking about? As noted previously, both "transvestite" and "crossdresser" just mean you're wearing clothes - DRESSING - from the other side - ACROSS - the gender lanes. Why does it bother you to openly state what you do, and why would you consider it insulting?

If the (male) thief was wearing women's clothes, he was crossdressing. It may not be a normal part of his life like it is for us, but that's what he was doing at the time.

"Just because I wear women's clothes doesn't mean I'm a crossdresser" is right up there with "I did not inhale" and "That all depends on what your definition of the word 'is' is".


Why not use a wide, cover-all term - like trans, or TG? Let's concentrate on our similarities, not our differences?
In that case, why not call ourselves "humans" or better still "mammals" and avoid the stigma of favoring one species over another? Transgender is fine and dandy when you're speaking of the wider community in generic terms, but there are also times when a topic more specifically applies to CROSSDRESSERS (see, that wasn't so hard to say!) than it does to, say, transsexuals or non-crossdressing homosexuals or whatever. We're men who like to wear women's clothes (at least, those of us are who aren't pre-op or post-op or just-wish-i-had-the-money-for-it TS)... why not embrace that and quit looking for ways to avoid admitting it?

[Nicki B]

In that case, why not call ourselves "humans" or better still "mammals" and avoid the stigma of favoring one species over another? Transgender is fine and dandy when you're speaking of the wider community in generic terms, but there are also times when a topic more specifically applies to CROSSDRESSERS (see, that wasn't so hard to say!) than it does to, say, transsexuals or non-crossdressing homosexuals or whatever. We're men who like to wear women's clothes (at least, those of us are who aren't pre-op or post-op or just-wish-i-had-the-money-for-it TS)... why not embrace that and quit looking for ways to avoid admitting it?

In that case Ralph, why don't you just call yourself a transvestite? It means exactly the same thing.

'Crossdresser', as a phrase, was coined exactly to avoid admitting it as you say.. :strugglin

It is an american term.

[Ralph]

Fine by me, Nicki. As I have stated elsewhere, one is just Latin for the other. I don't understand where folks got the idea that they mean different things.

That said, I'm more inclined to say "crossdresser" than "transvestite" for the same reason I say "car" rather than "automobile" - the English term means more to people who don't know their Greek and Latin root words.

[Shelly Preston]

Although they both mean the same thing

The media and sex industry have used them in such a way as to distort the word meanings to the general public

IMHO the term crossdresser seems less harsh that transvestite

Its also a lot simple to explain the word to any young person who asks any questions about one of us ( no need for latin explanations )

[gennee]

I feel the same way, JoAnne. A few weeks ago I crossed another threshold and now am a transgenderist. I don't let the label define me but it's how I describe where I am at the present time. I dress in women's clothes much of the time and I feel more like myself.

Gennee
:)

[Samantha B L]

It all depends on the context and the meaning a person is trying to convey.I like the term "Transvestite" or as they call it in The U.K.,a "Tranny". It sounds grandly feminine in a synthetic wig and nylon thigh highs sort of way. Transvestite also sounds a little bit like a clinical description of someone affected with bizarre perverted impulses and thought processes and sometimes when you tell people that you're a Transvestite it sounds almost like your talling them you carry rare diseases on your hands and arms so stay back! Nevertheless,I was proud to tell people that I was a Transvestite for many years.


I became aware of the term "crossdresser" in 1978 or 1979 and I did some reading on the subject and I found out I wasn't gay or transexual. Since joining this forum I always refer to myself and other forum members including f to m's as "crossdressers". It's much more modern terminology than "transvestite". Terms like "transgender" and "crossdresser"will be,I am sure,the code language of choice in legal paperwork and public statements for things like gender variant equality and other areas.


I was a little skeptical at first about all this. I don't like to sound like Andy Griffith's Lonesome Rhodes Character in the movie "A Face In the Crowd" but I think all these issues about a bunch of TV's and LGBT people don't interest Joe six pack. In fact,Joe probably wishes we'd dry up and go away. But it's interesting to point out that The Joes in many cases have young sons and daughters living in the aftermath of certian subtle social changes that have occured in our society in the sixties and the seventies. Many of them are openly LGBT and TG/TS/CD and the Joes wish it weren't so but don't want their kid's lives to be miserable and want them to be able to survive and have the things everybody else has.



I think there will be enormous strides in Transgender Rights coming up in the next several years and we may even see some changes in things that no one conceived of in 1950 or 1960! But all of us girls and the guys,too will be thought of,in general,as "crossdressers".

[Deidra Cowen]

I used to say I was a Tgirl..well I still might slip and still say that sometimes. But I came to the realization that I am a CD and just go with it. Out at the clubs here in Atlanta there are some nasty mean little FT Transfolk that take great delight in letting girls like me know I'm just a "Crossdresser."

So I turned it around on em and just proudly say out at the bars or wherever when asked that I am a CD. Throws them off! Which is fun.

[Emma England]

Ok, so you bought your own chosen clothes.

Were they from a woman's clothing shop (or from the women's departmant)?

If so, you are crossing the gender line.

I only buy womens clothes now (can't remember when I bought guy stuff at all).

This makes you and me a crossdresser. It is just a fact.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Out at the clubs here in Atlanta there are some nasty mean little FT Transfolk that take great delight in letting girls like me know I'm just a "Crossdresser."

They're everywhere, even on IRC.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Ralph]

Out at the clubs here in Atlanta there are some nasty mean little FT Transfolk that take great delight in letting girls like me know I'm just a "Crossdresser."
As soon as I saw that my first thought was "you say that like it's a bad thing". And then you said...


So I turned it around on em and just proudly say out at the bars or wherever when asked that I am a CD. Throws them off! Which is fun.
Yeah! That's the way to do it. Well played, sir.

[Nicki B]

Yeah! That's the way to do it. Well played, sir.

Ralph, you may think of yourself as a 'bloke in a frock', but that's not how I, for one, regard myself.. :(

[dawnmarrie1961]

JoAnn, exactly right. You are who you are supposed to be. What more can anyone ask? Tragic that it takes most of us so long to get to this point. But it was a trip worth taking.

Don't pay any attention to the labels they are just there for shoppers who having quite figured out what they want yet.

[Satrana]

LOL labels are necessary folks, get over it. Yes there is the problem of generalization and simplification which can hurt feelings when you feel the label is applied or understood incorrectly. It is only words.

For those of us who have overcome our internalized transphobia and understand that we are just normal human beings who are ignoring an arbitrary sexist divide in clothing choice, then we do not need to think of ourselves as CDs, but the rest of society does because they still believe in strict gender roles for men.

So until there is a masculine revolution that knocks down the barbed wire fence that surrounds all things feminine, the label will remain in place because it has meaning for cis-people.

And instead of hating the label, you can always embrace it like the "proud to be gay" chant that homosexuals used to come out of the closet. If this community came out in force and showed society what we are and how many of us there are, then any stigmatization attached to the label would quickly dissipate. After all who calls a woman wearing pants a tomboy anymore?

[sterling12]

I've never been wild about The Term "Crossdresser." I'll answer to the label for purposes of identification, but it doesn't make me crazy if I hear it. If I had a preference I would pick "Transgendered," and I also really like The Term, "Transfolk" when we are being all-inclusive.

Someone suggested "gender-variant," but my only problem with that is the term "variant." I think it kind of implies a deviation from The Norm...ergo, to be variant is to somehow be deviant. I don't want people to think that.

The old terms, can be pejorative. "Trannie" and "Drag Queen," (Also really HATE *******) are often used in news articles written by ignorant people who should learn something about us, before they use such negative labels.

For certain, American-English is always evolving. I believe Webster's has hundreds of new words and new definitions of existing words with every edition. I am sure that in the future, our "label" will probably be something different. Hopefully, it won't be something negative.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[tricia_uktv]

Yes I have JoAnne, and I too hate labels. But I knoiw what I am as does everybody else. I'm a t-girl at heart, in the mind and in the open..... and I love it!

[Deb The Brunette]

I do not like the term Crossdresser.
No longer feel like a crossdresser



Dunno, What would you rather be called then? ...Bloke in a frock !!

Have to be honest here, there is a lot worse one can be called than a crossdresser



.

[Jazzmine]

I am like you - I'm not a great one for labels.

However they do have their place - e.g. the term crossdresser alerted me to this web site a few years ago which has had a positive influence on my life.

So I guess labels are good for describing what we do but they don't tell everything about who we are ... that's up to the individual to determine and express for themselves.

The negative side of general labels like "crossdresser" is that we, as individuals, are apt to lose our individuality in a sea of mixed messages and connotations that the label generates.

This is the burden we bear, like it or lump it!

Hugs Jazzmine.

[sometimes_miss]

A rose by any other name.......

[Sonia Greene]

It's a problem I identify with!

The whole world, meaning everyone, at some stage, would see dressers out frequently. It's up to ALL of us (that can) to go out, then we will be part of the community at large

Then it will be no longer___weird!

Sonia

If you require a label...what about (although a bit clumsy.....)
Nowom(b)an

[KayleeB]

I am still new to all this, having only really dressed for a couple of months, but I still need to find who I can identify with. I'm not a TS as I feel perfectly happy with being a man. I MAY be TG, bridging genders, but I just like the way I feel and look in womens clothes. It doesnt make me want to BE or act like a GG, although I have seen with some that is the case. At the moment i need a label or two just to help me with the way I feel, and to find the appropriate places to find said help (COUGH site name)... Having said that we are all human and all have our names to help identify us. I am Kaylee here, just as validly as I am G***** elsewhere. There is a diversity, even in our community. I have seen this in the short time I have been here. We should just be comfortable with who we are. I know I'm not lol... YET:2c:

[ReineD]

IThey're not labels, dammit, they're words. The dictionaries are full of them. Each word is a tool (not a weapon)

Hear, hear!

The terms we use only describe general categories and they are not meant to encapsulate everything about everyone. That comes when people get to know one another and they share specifics about themselves.



The negative side of general labels like "crossdresser" is that we, as individuals, are apt to lose our individuality in a sea of mixed messages and connotations that the label generates.

This could be said about anything though ... male, female, scientist, wife, homosexual, type A personality, boyfriend, C-student, ex convict, rape victim, coulrophobic , deist, democrat. They are all very general categories and they are not expected to convey in a single word what someone is all about.

As Katie pointed out, a general term is not an attack. Members of the TG community may shy away from identifying who they are or what they do, but the terms are helpful for members outside of the community so they can understand what the TG holds dear ... and RESPECT it. How sad is it when someone denies who s/he is to someone they are getting to know for fear of ... WHAT? Aren't they saying they are ashamed of who they are? I'm not suggesting everyone should shout it out from the rooftops if they don't want to, but IMO it is good for everyone to have a basic understanding of who they are and what they believe in.

We could all shout to the world "I am ME" and dispense with racial, religious, political, cultural, gender, sexual, or professional identification, but this wouldn't help any of us communicate to others where we come from or what we are all about.

Being transgendered means just what it says. Someone who transcends society's current understanding of binary gender.

:2c: :hugs:

[Nicki B]

Surely words can be used as weapons?

Calling an MTF who has GD 'Sir' may, or may not, as above, be meant to offend - but it certainly always has the power to wound.

How many threads here have demonstrated that previously, so it's a shame when we now do it to each other. :sad:


The question, to me, is is 'crossdresser' really the best word to describe most of us?

It simply describes a behaviour, nothing more - and it certainly can carry negative connotations (just as the 'n' word does). Personally, I prefer Trans, transgender, T-folk - they describe who we are, not just what and they don't carry the same baggage?

So, permit some of us to feel uncomfortable when others use the 'CD' label about us.


Shame we can't have a poll - but even a minority deserve to have their views respected?

[Shelly Preston]

Surely words can be used as weapons?



:iagree:


Words can certainly be used as weapons

How many time do we see hurtful comments made to others

kids do it to others and adults certainly do

[ReineD]

So, permit some of us to feel uncomfortable when others use the 'CD' label about us.


Nicki, I don't know if you were responding to my post (you did not quote and your post was directly under mine), but if you were I am sorry if my remarks offended you.

I agree with you. If someone doesn't self-identify as a CD they should make corrections if they are referred to as a CD by someone in the community or if they are 'sirred' by anyone else. My concern is for people who are unwilling to use any self-descriptive word to identify themselves.

My SO and I went to a GLBT prom a few weeks ago. While she was getting drinks, the father of the person organizing the event asked my SO her name. When she told him, he said, "No. I meant your REAL name." My SO told him that she prefers to be addressed by the name she told him. This conversation did not involve any descriptive terms, but the principle is the same.

Another time we were in a restaurant and the busboy called her Sir as he attended us. We both felt it was not done to offend, as it was likely the reaction of a naive young man picking up subtle gender cues who was not well versed in gender protocol. My SO chose to let it go, since the incident happened in a flash and the busboy was quickly gone. I am sure if she had felt it was done in malice, or even if there had been time to make the correction, she would have done so.

[Nicki B]

Nicki, I don't know if you were responding to my post (you did not quote and your post was directly under mine), but if you were I am sorry if my remarks offended you.

No hun, no offence perceived, or taken.. :hugs:


The offence can be taken when others apply labels to you - the 'of course we're all blokes in frocks' type of comments?

I'm sorry, but we're not - or, at least, not all of us. There are other possibilities other than that, and born as female - plenty of us here are proof. :)

[ReineD]

The offence can be taken when others apply labels to you - the 'of course we're all blokes in frocks' type of comments?

Well ... if anyone here really thinks this way, they need to take a little stroll into all the other forums outside the M2F. :rolleyes:

One would think in a forum such as this, that all members would have the open-mindedness to acknowledge there are other members with different POVs. Shame on those who are not mindful of differences! :gg:

[Marisa_M]

I tend not to worry about such things I'm a girl at heart and that's all I need to know.:hugs:
Angie

Angie's words are exactly what I feel.
I liked also another definition I heard from a friend in another forum and it was "non genetic woman".
I hate to be labeled but the term "crossdresser" is not the more offensive we can hear until there is another new definition to fit us.

[Deb The Brunette]

I hate to be labeled but the term "crossdresser" is not the more offensive we can hear until there is another new definition to fit us.


Well that's exactly what I meant, I just said it in a more insidious manner to make the point



.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Thanks to everyone who responded - I kind of like the term "Non-Genetic Girl"
Instead of using CD, maybe I (we) could start using NGG or N-GG.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Nicki B]

Instead of using CD, maybe I (we) could start using NGG or N-GG.

Or T-girl - or TG?? :D

[MiraM]

I don't care much for the label crossdresser myself. To me, I am a female, just one that was unlucky enough to be born in a male body. I was on HRT at one point, and living full time as my true self, but due to medical issues, I was forced to end my transition. I am still fully Alicia on the inside and always will be, but have to present as male and only outwardly show Alicia when I can. I guess you could label me as Transsexual or Transgendered, but I prefer just to be labeled as me.

[Jaclyn NM]

I don't really care what the name is that describes me. I love to wear female clothing, so if that means I'm a cross dresser, than so be it, as Popeye once said "I am what I am", and I guess I'm a crossdresser. Whatever, it doesn't change who I really am or what defines me. I will continue to dress as I choose, and enjoy my life.

[leia]

I guess I am a cross dresser, When I if ever put on mens clothes (which I only have there shirts ever thing else are girls) I feel like I am crossdressing. the rest of the time I am a woman even if not decked out all the way.

[Rachel05]

Well i have only recently got my head into a place where I will allow myself to use the word cross dresser, I kicked against it in my head for ever, but now I accept me for what I am and I am a man that loves dressing in womens clothing, so I accept I cross dress now and I for one am happy to be here, more than happy in fact, so form e the term is a little new in my life, therefore I will stick with it for now

[Patty-Fay]

This has been a very interesting thread, especially to me - being new around these parts.

I have struggled for years to understand this quality about me that compels me to (occasionally) adopt the appearance of a woman. If the definition of "crossdresser" accurately defines this quality, I'm perfectly fine with that.

If "crossdresser" is simply defined to be the characterstic we have of dressing up in the clothing, and adopting the general appearance, of a member of the opposite sex, what is the problem here?

Other labels also accurately identify various of my qualities or characteristics. e.g. I'm of Moravian ancestry, with a Czech surname; I'm a white male; brown hair, blue eyes; visually myopic; an IT analyst; a Texan; a Beatles fan; ...and a crossdresser (with exquisite tastes, I might add!;) All the labels correctly apply, despite the fact that they do not define ME. They just identify a characteristic.