TGMarla
06-20-2009, 12:17 PM
Prior to the advent of the internet, I had felt very alone in this world. I barely even had the awareness that what I am is referred to as a "crossdresser". It was a great revelation to know that there were others out there just like me. And to know that we are actually quite numerous was a great comfort.
By this time, I was already a few years into my second marriage. I never told either of my wives about my little affectation, for fear that everything I had in my life would crumble into nothing. It is often a rough and difficult process to bring this into the light after covering it up for so long. Secrecy becomes second nature, and disclosure becomes very uncomfortable. Nagging fears, even after years of marriage, keep many of us from rocking the status quo with our wives.
Since joining this forum, I made full disclosure to her about my crossdressing. I wrote her a detailed letter and told her everything. I did it this way, because I tend to get tongue tied around her when discussing sensitive subjects, and this is perhaps one reason she sometimes opts to not talk about such things with me. (She shredded the letter, either out of disgust or out of fear that someone else might read it.) But this forum has also given me a greater awareness of just how good it can be for some of us. Those with accepting spouses enjoy a much greater degree of freedom to get out and about with their feminine personas. For many of us, though, dressing still tends to be a solitary pursuit.
My wife has been aware of my crossdressing for many years. We have a reasonably close relationship, and a healthy love between us. Yet, crossdressing remains a topic that is not discussed. As such, I still keep it under wraps. It is apparently something she wants kept away from her, and we do not talk about it. Even though I have made some very dear friends on the net, and I am usually quite active on this forum, much of the time I still feel very alone in all of this. There are millions of us out there, and I sit at home most of the time with my limited dressing time, and wish that I could get out more.
I think the linchpin in all of this is opening it all up to my dear wife, who really doesn't want anything to do with this. What am I to do? I don't want to put this all in her face, nor do I feel any particular desire to include her in this. I don't feel any need to dress in front of her, bring it into our bedroom with her, or anything of the sort. I only want her acceptance so that I can take it elsewhere. For instance, I'd love to attend one of the conferences that are always being held around the country. I'd like to attend support group sessions. I'd like to go out with friends on occasion. But I do not know how to get from this point to that point.
Such a huge crowd of crossdressers out there, and still I feel very alone sometimes.
By this time, I was already a few years into my second marriage. I never told either of my wives about my little affectation, for fear that everything I had in my life would crumble into nothing. It is often a rough and difficult process to bring this into the light after covering it up for so long. Secrecy becomes second nature, and disclosure becomes very uncomfortable. Nagging fears, even after years of marriage, keep many of us from rocking the status quo with our wives.
Since joining this forum, I made full disclosure to her about my crossdressing. I wrote her a detailed letter and told her everything. I did it this way, because I tend to get tongue tied around her when discussing sensitive subjects, and this is perhaps one reason she sometimes opts to not talk about such things with me. (She shredded the letter, either out of disgust or out of fear that someone else might read it.) But this forum has also given me a greater awareness of just how good it can be for some of us. Those with accepting spouses enjoy a much greater degree of freedom to get out and about with their feminine personas. For many of us, though, dressing still tends to be a solitary pursuit.
My wife has been aware of my crossdressing for many years. We have a reasonably close relationship, and a healthy love between us. Yet, crossdressing remains a topic that is not discussed. As such, I still keep it under wraps. It is apparently something she wants kept away from her, and we do not talk about it. Even though I have made some very dear friends on the net, and I am usually quite active on this forum, much of the time I still feel very alone in all of this. There are millions of us out there, and I sit at home most of the time with my limited dressing time, and wish that I could get out more.
I think the linchpin in all of this is opening it all up to my dear wife, who really doesn't want anything to do with this. What am I to do? I don't want to put this all in her face, nor do I feel any particular desire to include her in this. I don't feel any need to dress in front of her, bring it into our bedroom with her, or anything of the sort. I only want her acceptance so that I can take it elsewhere. For instance, I'd love to attend one of the conferences that are always being held around the country. I'd like to attend support group sessions. I'd like to go out with friends on occasion. But I do not know how to get from this point to that point.
Such a huge crowd of crossdressers out there, and still I feel very alone sometimes.