All Take, Take, Take and hardly any give

[Nigella]

This thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109883) showed how my SO publicly showed her support for the TG community, which is quite often asked for on this forum, by having the CD.com Logo tattooed on her ankle, which will be in full view most of the time.

As at the start of this thread some 898 members, and it is members cos its in the photo gallery, have viewed this thread only 20 have posted, and most of them are from the GGs.

Whilst Sandra said she was not looking for compliments, well done's etc, the statistics only go to show how self centered a lot of CDer's are.

Little wonder the GGs on this forum are :censor: at the attitude of some.

[Sheila]

Whilst Sandra said she was not looking for compliments, well done's etc, the statistics only go to show how self centered a lot of CDer's are.

Little wonder the GGs on this forum are :censor: at the attitude of some.


Fortunately some of us have wonderfull SO CDERS, like you, Shelly, TxKimberly, AZ,Lady Zarabeth, Majestic and so on, then there are those who are supportive of GG while not being fortunate enough to have a supporting SO, in particula Jenni Y, Arianna, Intertwined and several others, so thanks to them :yrtw: ...... oops nearly forgot Debs :eek::eek::o:o:love:

[Lisa Golightly]

Seems to be a few cd's on there... and 3 Ts's (Yay!... lol). TBH You get used to 3000 views and 40ish comments what matters ultimately is how you feel about it. Have to say I winced when I saw the pictures... Can't stand pain me... *shudder* :)

But you two have always had something special going on... :)

Lisa x

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Sorry, Nigella, I guess I missed it when it was first posted, but it is very cool to do something so much more than is usual to show support. Good for you both.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Brina Halloween]

Nigella,

I am one of that 898 views. I looked at it...tattoos are just not my thing. I have seen some on girls that I really liked but, most of the time have little interest in them.

I just try being one of those barn mice that you sometimes hear but rarely see. I do occasionally squeak in the picture galleries but usually only when really impressed or opinions are asked for.

Sincerely,

Brina

[MJ]

if someone takes the time to get dressed up or make an effort in any way then takes the time to post there pictures in a thread for all to see then why not take the time to thank them for the hard work they put in. after all your in there any way this is a support site ....right?

[Kathi Lake]

I'm with Brina. Tats aren't really my thing, so I didn't comment. My bad, I guess?

I usually do comment on people's pictures - pretty or not. Everyone can do with a kind word and some hopefully helpful criticism. I do agree that the more passable ones on this site (darn their hides! :)) seem to get more comments. Gee, could it be that our TG reality is like the "normal" GG reality? Do pretty women get more comments than plain? Do pretty men get more comments than plain? Shocked! Shocked, I am. :)

Kathi

[Lisa Golightly]

Ah... I don't often look at the picture threads and tend to look when I do at the people I know...

As for my own 1000's of views handful of comments... Kind of doesn't matter as I know the thoughts of those closest to my heart... awwwwwww :o

[kellycan27]

But, I will check it out now. I have a back tat. I'd like to get more, I got a bit discouraged when a friend said that she got a cherry tatooed on her bum years ago, and now it looks like a chilli pepper...LOL

Kelly

[Deedee Dupree]

Hi Nigella, I was one who did not take the time to express my apreciation for what you both did when I read the thread. Sorry, and thank you for ALL your important contributions to our community and friends.

I guessed you might be aware of how I would feel via other maneuvers, and I'm a bit squeemish about pinchy-pinchys.

[AllieSF]

I guess I don't get it. Someone posts some pics and then someone complains that no CD's comment on it. Is that a new rule here that we should comment on every thread that we open, read or look at? I looked and decided not to comment. So what? I do not have a bad atrtitude towards GG's, SO's, MtF, FtM, Admirers or anyone else. So why do you base your mistaken opinion on this lack of response and accuse others of having a bad attitude? Now us non-posters are debased as inconsiderate because some of you feel that we should follow your rules. I have posted a lot here since I joined, at the beginning when I was just starting out I posted in many threads. Now I am more selective with my time and efforts. Just because I do not post in some, does not mean I have negative comments or reactions to them. I just decided not to post. I do not consider it rude or inappropriate if I or others do not post in that thread. This is a forum and hopefully, we should not be shamed into doing something just because some of you think we should.

[Mirani]

I looked, thought it was an unusual but neat thing to do, but didn't feel it necessary to say anything.

I think it is a bit off to suggest my "non-comment" = rudeness or negativity.

I view nearly all pictures and threads, but comment rarely. Perhaps a ratio of 1 comment for every 50+ views - might even be less comments than that, I haven't really counted.

So, good luck and best wishes, but my act of not commenting was not intended as a slight, unappreciative or negative. Just following the etiquette of many sites like this where we can choose to comment - or not.

Sorry you feel let down.

[TGMarla]

I'm with Mirani. It's a cool tattoo, as far as tats go, but I'm not particularly into tattoos. I appreciate that she did it, but did not feel particularly inclined to comment on it one way or the other. I meant no offense either way.

[linnea]

I think that Sandra did a very nice and supportive thing by getting her tattoo. I visited the site to see it, and I thought that it was very colorful as was Nigella's.
Now that's one of my few visits to the photo gallery. I don't avoid it; I just haven't gone to it (I can't remember having been there before, but I may have).
Anyway, I think that it's a bit of an over-generalization to say that because only about 2% of those who visited made comments, that means that it's all "take, take, and more take." I grant that Nigella made this comment about "some CD's," but the title of the message suggested a broader target for the criticism.
Sandra wrote when she posted that she wasn't looking for compliments; then when she didn't get them Nigella criticized the visitors for not complimenting her.
I think that most of us human beings are pretty selfish, myself included, but I don't think that the response or lack of response to the tatoo-for-support necessarily shows that selfishness.:2c:

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

[url="http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109883"] Whilst Sandra said she was not looking for compliments, well done's etc, the statistics only go to show how self centered a lot of CDer's are.

Little wonder the GGs on this forum are :censor: at the attitude of some.

Ever been to Hollywood? I'd say that is probably the center of the "self-centered people" universe... and I think it is safe to say that it is NOT because of any crossdressers who reside there.

People of all types are self-centered. I've dated very self-centered women before - EVERYTHING in their life revolved around them, their wants, desires, needs, etc. They were just regular women, btw, not crossdressers.

I'd really like to see a statistical analysis of the self-centered ratio of pro-athletes, actors, artists, singers, models, and high-profile politicians. I bet crossdressers (on the whole) do not even come close to most of those groups mentioned... or at the least, do not rank the highest.

I'm sorry, but I do get tired of all the negatives about crossdressers being brought up as if they're tied to person being a crossdresser and NOT THE PERSON, PERIOD.

Self-centered people are a dime a dozen. Some of them happen to be crossdressers.

Whatever. Feel like I'm probably wasting my time on this one. :sigh:

[Miranda-E]

I'm sorry, but I do get tired of all the negatives about crossdressers being brought up as if they're tied to person being a crossdresser and NOT THE PERSON, PERIOD.




Thank you for being the voice of reason.

[Intertwined]

This thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109883) showed how my SO publicly showed her support for the TG community

I didn't see it, but, even if I had, may not have commented on it, I wouldn't have wanted to put a negative spin on the thread.

You see, I want a tattoo very badly but my wife is dead set against me getting one, my wife has 3 tattoos of her own, and my daughter has 4, and is starting on a full sleeve tattoo.

See the graphic in my signature, I designed and animated that image, it is made from the tattoo I designed for myself.

[Kate Simmons]

Must have missed that one Hon. I don't go over there too often myself. I'll check it out.:)

[Alana65]

I'm with Mirani. It's a cool tattoo, as far as tats go, but I'm not particularly into tattoos. I appreciate that she did it, but did not feel particularly inclined to comment on it one way or the other. I meant no offense either way.

I agree with Marla on this.

[LisaM]

I'm with a lot of the comments do far. I saw it and appreciated it but I understood the no reply needed comment. But the real issue is I don't like tattoos. Sorry.

[DanaR]

I'm with a lot of the comments do far. I saw it and appreciated it but I understood the no reply needed comment. But the real issue is I don't like tattoos. Sorry.

This is almost exactly what my comments would have been.

[Shikyo]

I'm not looking through the pictures that often, but when I do I look at the pictures and I only comment when the comment I'll give is also truthful. When I comment an a picture, I comment with my heart with my true feelings. If a picture doesn't really bring any feelings to me, I don't think I have the right to comment.

I believe it's better to have less comments, but all those truthful, instead of having hundreds of comments that you don't know which ones are meant honestly and which ones are just "polite".

As for the tattoo, I saw and respect her way of showing the support. But I don't really see a need to comment on it, as all I could really say is: Thank you.

[kathrynjanos]

But I actually like that quite a bit, it's an awesome idea to have that tattooed. Right now my goals for tattoos are well defined.

I want to have a phoenix spreading its wings across my back, and a symbol called the keywork (http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&rlz=1C1GGLS_enUS305US305&q=keywork&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi) of a band, Coheed and Cambria. The keywork will most likely be at the base of my neck below my shirt collar line to keep it work appropriate.

[Julogden]

Nigella,

It's a mystery how that many could view that thread and not give more pats on the back, whether they like tats or not, as that was a gutsy, positive thing that Sandra did, in my opinion. You're blessed to have her.

However, from what I can see, most of the comments were from TG girls, so that's a good thing.

Carol

[Deidra Cowen]

Well to tell the truth...like others I am not into tattoos, scared to death that my daughter might get one. But hey if you are going to go with one its a cool gesture putting the CD.com logo on one of the tats.

I just did not comment since thats not my deal...no disrespect intended. I glanced at the pics for a second and moved on. I do comment a good bit on others pics and since I rarely post myself I am not just looking to get others to post on my threads. :devil:

I just give compliments to those that I dig some look, outfit, makeup job, cool pics out and about...well you get it I just give out props to those that I personally enjoyed something about their pics. Never any false praise.

[Tamara Croft]

She should have had a tattoo of a pair of panties....

[Sammy777]

TBH - I was not one of the first 900 or even first 1100.
In fact I would not have even known about it if not for this thread.
But I do now, and I did look and left a post.

I am in a way glad that this did happen, because if it didn't I would probably never have seen it. I'm just not in the picture section that much.



She should have had a tattoo of a pair of panties....
:lol2: :lol: :lol2: :lol: :lol2: :lol: :lol2:
Good one! :thumbsup:

[TxKimberly]

Hmmm. . . I can't recall ever having seen it. Would I have commented if I had seen it, I dunno. I really don't like tattoos and think of them more as damaging a body, which explains why I haven't seen the pic, because if the title made it clear it dealt with a tattoo I'd have never bothered to look.

I can think of a LOT of reasons to think your average CD is selfish, most definitely including myself (because I know fir sure and certain I am), but I think it's a bit of a stretch to draw that conclusion based on few people commenting on a tattoo.

Okay, so I don't like tattoos, but as to the spirit and intent behind what your SO has done, I think she rocks!

[Lorileah]

Didn't look at it, sorry. I saw GG's and thought I would get back to it thinking it was for GG's. I shouldn't think.

Nice "colors" now that I looked. :love:

[battybattybats]

Whats the average views-to-comments on this forum let alone that section?

I think a lot of threads get a lot more views to comments because many members here lurk a lot.

But if this thread has an especially bad views-to-comments ratio then it may involve the reasons why many people view pics in that section, which going on peoples comments in this thread is perhaps for many voyueristic.

[Rachel Morley]

Sorry I missed it. I'm afraid I don't go in the picture section much. They look pretty cool though. I especially like yours Nigella. :)

[2B Natasha]

How dare you say that to anyone on this forum. How dare you say that to me. I don't take photo's of myself supporting GG and respecting them and then begging them to tell me how wonderful I am. Nor do I post anything that is intended to make anyone feel bad about what the do or don't do. I do what I do for GG and the community because it is the right thing to do, not for a pat on the back.

By the way. When are you going to say Thank you to me for all I do and have done?!

And let me say this. While your SO might honestly not wanted any compliments on that photo you sure as hell did.

The next time you want someone to tell you how wonderful you are put it in the headline. I'll supply the headline for you

"PLEASE TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL I AM"

[Samantha B L]

Nigella and Sandra, As for me I'm sorry to be so negligent. You'll have to excuse me. This place is full of more threads than you could look at in 15-20 minutes so I guess I didn't look. The tattoos are both just super! I like tattoos but I don't have any. My gg girlfreind who passed away had several! they're both incredible tattoos and I love the crossdressers.com logo,Sandra!


:love: :love: :love:


:cheer: :cheers: :yahoo: :Party2: :Party2: :Party2:

[jennCD]

Like others who responded here, I viewed the original thread and the photos but did not feel the need to comment.

Also, I'm not a fan of tattoos in general, but that's beside the point.

:)
jenn

[Sandra]

OK I'll answer now

It wasn't posted for people to say "oh what a nice tat".

I had the tat done to show my support for the whole of the TG community. I posted the pics to show what I had done, in that it wasn't just my SO who I support but again the whole TG community.

As for some of the other comments I'll leave the replies to Nigella.

[Honeygirl]

Wow! I guess you got plenty of feedback now! :)

I mean't no offense whatsoever when I looked at this thread but did not leave any comment. I think the decision to leave a comment or just read any thread should be an individual choice with no obligation either way. I am very sorry you felt you were so unsupported in your gesture, I am sure this isn't the case.

I wish you both every happiness in the great comittment you show to each other, it is truly lovely.

Honey

[BeckiB]

Damn it!!! I am going to have to go back and read the rules. I didn't know we were required to leave a comment if we read a thread. Sorry Admins...my bad!

Now I have to go stand in the corner with my hands on my head!

Honestly, I think it is great that there are a lot of Supportive GG's on here and in the real world. My wife is very supportive of me and our friends. I don't think I would deem it necessary to admonish people for not thanking her for doing what she naturally does as a person or because she supports me.

[BarbiB]

Having gone through the tattoo removal process. You have made me realize how fortunate I am the internet was not around back when I had them put on.

[JulieK1980]

Well thanks for the support, but I'm not selfish for not bombarding with compliments and hail mary's.

Thanks for propagating a stereotype though! :)

In all seriousness its a very nice tattoo, and I appreciate the show of support.

[Intertwined]

The next time you want someone to tell you how wonderful you are put it in the headline. I'll supply the headline for you

"PLEASE TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL I AM"

:fairy1:"PLEASE TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL I AM":fairy3:

:skull: I know I am going to pay for that one :skull:


Damn it!!! I am going to have to go back and read the rules. I didn't know we were required to leave a comment if we read a thread. Sorry Admins...my bad!

RULES? what are those? :lol:

Your punishment, will be to dress up as Al, from Tool Time, Plaid shirt for you all day...

[2B Natasha]

Intertwined

:cowdance:Your wonderful :cowdance:

[BeckiB]

[QUOTE=Intertwined;1767964
RULES? what are those? :lol:

Your punishment, will be to dress up as Al, from Tool Time, Plaid shirt for you all day...[/QUOTE]

Hey whos says I am NOT Al from tool time? Maybe I have some really good beard cover! LOL

[Tamara Croft]

How dare you say that to anyone on this forum. How dare you say that to me. I don't take photo's of myself supporting GG and respecting them and then begging them to tell me how wonderful I am. Why don't you get down off that big high horse of yours and READ what Nigella is actually saying. It's not about how many posts there are, it's about a supportive member doing something for the TG community, when we're constantly told we don't do enough. That is the point of this thread, so get over it.

You know, what bugs me about this board, you can't say anything against the grain, you get ganged up on.... Nigella saw something that made her mad, she had every right to say how mad she felt and she damn well does NOT deserve a post like yours... seriously... :thumbsdn::thumbsdn::thumbsdn:

[TxKimberly]

:skull: I know I am going to pay for that one :skull:


. ..

Intertwined - your wonderful and you rock!

[Nicole Erin]

Couple things about responses VS views -
If the same member looks at a thread more than once, does that rack up "views" or only if it is someone who has not clicked on it yet?
That would add to views.

Also, for each person here that posts more than once a month, there are probably a couple hundred lurkers.

Now my opinion, I think it is cool that someone proudly wears a logo showing they are cool with us gender folks. When I saw it, my first thought was "Well, CD's are always wondering what kind of a secret thing we should have to identify ourselves to each other, and that is one way."

It does kind of suck when it seems like no one gives a damn for anyone else though.

I think tattoo's look good on the lower calf like you got.

[2B Natasha]

Sorry Tamara. I like my high horse and have no intention of getting off it.

And I stand by what I said.

I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what a wonderful, caring, thoughtful being I am for all I've done. I work in a EXTREMELY dominated male field and have stuck up for every women that has tried to break into it. Given them every chance to make it and taught them all I could or all they could take.

Guess I need a tattoo to prove I am doing the right thing.

[Intertwined]

Intertwined

:cowdance:Your wonderful :cowdance:

:hugs: Ah.. Thank You... I didn't expect that, I was Intentionally being a brat..!


Hey whos says I am NOT Al from tool time? Maybe I have some really good beard cover! LOL

IF YOU ARE? Can you come over to my place, I have a ton of stuff that needs work, and I am more like Tim, I just mess it up.


Intertwined - your wonderful and you rock!

Flattery will get you everywhere with me, Like i've told my work, I would much rather get a Handshake & Job Well Done, than a bonus in my check anyday. You can thank my Mom for my work ethic...

[kittypw GG]

I guess I don't get it. Someone posts some pics and then someone complains that no CD's comment on it. Is that a new rule here that we should comment on every thread that we open, read or look at? I looked and decided not to comment. So what? I do not have a bad atrtitude towards GG's, SO's, MtF, FtM, Admirers or anyone else. So why do you base your mistaken opinion on this lack of response and accuse others of having a bad attitude? Now us non-posters are debased as inconsiderate because some of you feel that we should follow your rules. I have posted a lot here since I joined, at the beginning when I was just starting out I posted in many threads. Now I am more selective with my time and efforts. Just because I do not post in some, does not mean I have negative comments or reactions to them. I just decided not to post. I do not consider it rude or inappropriate if I or others do not post in that thread. This is a forum and hopefully, we should not be shamed into doing something just because some of you think we should.


:iagree:

[Carly D.]

I'm not a fan of tats...

[Sheila]

I'm not a fan of tats...

it was not about the Tat, it was about a GG showing visible support daily for the TG community:thumbsup:

[Deborah Jane]

Guess I need a tattoo to prove I am doing the right thing.

Yeah, right across your forehead!!

[battybattybats]

This tattoo is indeed a great statement of support and of principle.

As I keep saying every little thing counts.

Hopefully soon we will have more major public figures making statements of support.

Which is growing, like the FtM TSs speech to the United Nations on TG rights for example.

When TG-attracted popular GGs in the mainstream media spotlight start making it acceptable for women to publicly declare their attraction to TGs then we'll see an acceptance explosion of massive proportions.

And every small act or gesture made contributes to that.

It doesn't matter if people were asking for a pat on the back, they deserve it regardless!

We need to start being proud of those who stand up and be counted. We need to support them GG and CD and TS and Children and Parents and Friends alike. And as progress rides on the backs of the few doing so all those in the closet owe as much support as they possibly can find and produce to those at the coalface doing the dirty work to make the world safer for the rest.

I for one applaud this tattoo.

[ClaudiaDawn]

Hi Nigella,

I rarely visit the Gallery section, so I never saw your wife's thread. It was a nice gesture of you two getting the tattoos. I am not a big fan of tattoos, but yours does look cute.

Thank you and specially your wife for the support.

Hugs,

Claudia Dawn

[Sarah...]

it was not about the Tat, it was about a GG showing visible support daily for the TG community:thumbsup:

I agree. The tattoo itself is irrelevant. The person in question obviously shows support for her partner on a daily basis and based on work on this forum shows support to the TG community on a daily basis. Which is admirable indeed.

I've been TS all my life but have only known of this forum for 12 months or so. So if I didn't know of this forum and saw a tattoo of the above logo on someone, I wouldn't automatically know that person was supportive of the TG community. But because I am a member here I already know that she is incredibly supportive. Therefore the tattoo is irrelevant to a very large proportion (if not all) of the population.

Knowing that logical truism doesn't make me admire the statement of the person displaying the tattoo any less. It is a potential conversation piece now, of course, and that allows the wearer to explain in words what it means to anyone who asks. :)

Sarah...

[Sheila]

It is a potential conversation piece now, of course, and that allows the wearer to explain in words what it means to anyone who asks. :) Sarah...

Thankyou Sarah for getting it :hugs:

[Brianna1]

As I posted on the picture thread in question...at least you got me to focus on the logo and take it in...I usually go to the threads so quickly when I sign in that I have never taken it in before :) I haven't been on the forums for a few months now, as important as this site is to me, I haven't got the time to be here every day and read all the content and I dare say there are others in the same boat!!
Thanks for the support Sandra...

I agree with Sheila it is a good point

[Nigella]

How dare you say that to me.

First of all I dont recall using any names in my OP and as I didn't know you existed prior to this post, WHY SHOULD YOU BE SELECTED FOR SPECIAL NOTICE?


I don't take photo's of myself supporting GG and respecting them and then begging them to tell me how wonderful I am

Umm not sure where the begging came into this, I sure would not be on my hands and knees to anyone asking for anything, indeed I nor Sandra asked for anyone to tell us how wonderfull we are.


Nor do I post anything that is intended to make anyone feel bad about what the do or don't do.

You should change your job and start a stage act as a mindreader, but practice well before you do cos you missed reading my mind by a mile



By the way. When are you going to say Thank you to me for all I do and have done?

OK you appear to need this

THANK YOU


And let me say this. While your SO might honestly not wanted any compliments on that photo you sure as hell did.

Please don't assume anything because when you do it makes an ASS of U and ME and you did assume I wanted compliments because I did not post in the original post and certainly have not asked for any in this thread.


The next time you want someone to tell you how wonderful you are put it in the headline. I'll supply the headline for you

"PLEASE TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL I AM"

Sorry but I am not that VAIN, so your lack of headlining talent has been wasted.





Some people have understood the intention of this thread. It is about the common courtesy of acknowledging the fact that someone has done something for the whole community.

To do what Sandra has done is a very large commitment to the TG community, whilst she did not have to have it done, it is proof that she supports the very things we as a community are fighting for.

Whilst most people will acknowledge that the tat is a variation on the Ying and Yang, the colours and design lead enough scope for conversation. This opens the door for more verbal support.

There is no hard and fast rule that you HAVE to comment on every pic or post, but it really gets my goat that when such a large commitment is shown, there is very little acknowlegement from the very community that is asking for it.

[Dana Lane]

Tacky. :(

[Rachel05]

Oh no not self centred at all, I am full of admiration for her and her support for you, I would love for my wife to even discuss it with me, so lucky you and may your good fortune spread far and wide among us

[Nigella]

Tacky. :(

I guess you mean the tattoo? an opinion to which you are entitled :D

[Miranda-E]

She mad a wonderful personal gesture for your relationship. I'm sorry you didn't get the public reaction to it you wanted.

[Sheila]

She mad a wonderful personal gesture for your relationship. I'm sorry you didn't get the public reaction to it you wanted.

nope she did not do it as a gesture for their relationship ............... she did it as a visible support for the TG movement ................ a darn sight more than a lot of the TG community do for themselves:straightface:

[Hali]

I guess I don't get it. Someone posts some pics and then someone complains that no CD's comment on it. Is that a new rule here that we should comment on every thread that we open, read or look at? I looked and decided not to comment. So what? I do not have a bad atrtitude towards GG's, SO's, MtF, FtM, Admirers or anyone else. So why do you base your mistaken opinion on this lack of response and accuse others of having a bad attitude? Now us non-posters are debased as inconsiderate because some of you feel that we should follow your rules. I have posted a lot here since I joined, at the beginning when I was just starting out I posted in many threads. Now I am more selective with my time and efforts. Just because I do not post in some, does not mean I have negative comments or reactions to them. I just decided not to post. I do not consider it rude or inappropriate if I or others do not post in that thread. This is a forum and hopefully, we should not be shamed into doing something just because some of you think we should.

I dont think because many CDs didnt comment on the tatoe automatically makes them self centered. I read the thread but i didnt care to look at the tatoe (i was in a hurry.......time constraint), but after reading the thread i thought about the gesture and the SO contribution to the TG community and felt good about it in my heart, but i never thot not commenting on the photo will warrant such "allegations".

[KarenCDFL]

With all due repect to you, your SO and your posting, I have the following comments:

There are hundreds of posts if not more here on a daily basis. I don't have the time to look at all of them.

2) Some people think that if they have more posts than anyone else they win something. Sorry, not me. Posting should not be a contest. Posting should be about CONTENT and not Quantity. I would prefer to get a few replies with good comments than hundreds that say "good for you"

3) And lastly, many times as I read through a thread, I find several that just happen to have said the samething I would have so what is the point of making a comment just to agree and add another post to my count.

I have a very accepting SO and I always let her know. I dont need to post this information just to get pats on the back.

Take Care, Karen

[VeronicaMoonlit]

It's not about how many posts there are, it's about a supportive member doing something for the TG community, when we're constantly told we don't do enough. That is the point of this thread, so get over it.

The original thread was about doing something nice in support of the community, and I commented on it.

This thread is Nigella whinging and sucking up to the SO's about how since the thread got X number of views and y number of posts that means that CD's aren't supportive of SO's, and are all self-centered and no wonder the SO's are mad sometimes:




As at the start of this thread some 898 members, and it is members cos its in the photo gallery, have viewed this thread only 20 have posted, and most of them are from the GGs.

Whilst Sandra said she was not looking for compliments, well done's etc, the statistics only go to show how self centered a lot of CDer's are.

Little wonder the GGs on this forum are :censor: at the attitude of some.

The statistics prove nothing, because some didn't even see the original thread, and:



I guess I don't get it. Someone posts some pics and then someone complains that no CD's comment on it. Is that a new rule here that we should comment on every thread that we open, read or look at? I looked and decided not to comment. So what? I do not have a bad atrtitude towards GG's, SO's, MtF, FtM, Admirers or anyone else. So why do you base your mistaken opinion on this lack of response and accuse others of having a bad attitude? Now us non-posters are debased as inconsiderate because some of you feel that we should follow your rules. I have posted a lot here since I joined, at the beginning when I was just starting out I posted in many threads. Now I am more selective with my time and efforts. Just because I do not post in some, does not mean I have negative comments or reactions to them. I just decided not to post. I do not consider it rude or inappropriate if I or others do not post in that thread. This is a forum and hopefully, we should not be shamed into doing something just because some of you think we should.

:iagree:



You know, what bugs me about this board, you can't say anything against the grain, you get ganged up on.... Nigella saw something that made her mad, she had every right to say how mad she felt and she damn well does NOT deserve a post like yours... seriously... :thumbsdn::thumbsdn::thumbsdn:

Don't pull that whinging crap, when you're one of the enforcers of the status quo who actively hammers down TG folk who DO say things against the grain. I've posted mad posts, and had them deleted with at least some justification. So now some can post mad posts, bascially as long as they're whinging about how a certain SO isn't being sucked up to?

And I'm not intimidated by you, though I do find your crabby nature appealing at times.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

nope she did not do it as a gesture for their relationship ............... she did it as a visible support for the TG movement ................ a darn sight more than a lot of the TG community do for themselves:straightface:

So true. Just be glad the Atlantic Ocean is getting bigger each year ;)

For the last two years I've been campaigning to get all gender variant people covered in the Equalities Bill. This will not only protect all gender variant people from discrimination or harassment but that protection will also automatically be extended to anyone who, in legalese, associates with them. In plain English that's family and friends such as yourself and Sandra. I don't know what material difference such protection would make to your lives but I know you deserve to be included as do all the other wives and girlfriends.

[Jenny Brown]

I believe this is one of those "damned if you do and damned if you don't" kind of threads. :doh:

[Sheila]

So true. Just be glad the Atlantic Ocean is getting bigger each year ;)

For the last two years I've been campaigning to get all gender variant people covered in the Equalities Bill. This will not only protect all gender variant people from discrimination or harassment but that protection will also automatically be extended to anyone who, in legalese, associates with them. In plain English that's family and friends such as yourself and Sandra. I don't know what material difference such protection would make to your lives but I know you deserve to be included as do all the other wives and girlfriends.

I sure coulda used that the other night when I was dealing with the local yobs near me as can be seen here CLICK (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=110023)

[Alice Torn]

I have not seen it yet. Gabriella, and Diedra said it for me, pretty well. I detest tattoos, wish that they would vanish, after a year, instead of for life! I would not be so against tattoos, if they would not be permanent. People do change over time, and many regret later, what they did earlier with permanent tattoos. They should make a temp kind.

[Audrey34]

Sorry Sandra, I haven't been coming online here for some time. I saw your tattoos and left a comment. They really were cute!
-Audrey

[battybattybats]

nope she did not do it as a gesture for their relationship ............... she did it as a visible support for the TG movement ................ a darn sight more than a lot of the TG community do for themselves:straightface:

Parts of the TG community do heaps... a very very very small part upon whose backs all the freedoms gainedin the last 40 years depend.

This is understandable as many have huge degrees of internalised stuff. Many are petrified of losing their families and friends. Many are also limited by the comforts of their partners. Issues other groups before ours faced and had to take the tough choices for the sake of future generations.

It was tough for womens rights advocates to defy the comforts of their husbands and put their children at risk. It was tough for Black Rights advocates to risk their lives and the lives of their families. It was tough for Gays and Aboriginals too.

I suspect only by finding ways to help grow self acceptance and community and for people to start putting the CD communities needs ahead of their personal safety and comfort just like all those groups did will we make the progress we need.

But that will need either the support of more GGs or at the cost of the comfort of many.

[Sheila]

I suspect only by finding ways to help grow self acceptance and community and for people to start putting the CD communities needs ahead of their personal safety and comfort.

Batty sorry but we do not need a damn history lesson in the rights of the entire world everytime we post.

And sorry again but it is not up to us as GG's to put cd communities needs ahead of our own personal safety and comfort ............ BTW I already did that in defence of Debs and for the safety and emotional security of my 12 year old ........... so yes I have done what you advocated us GG's should be doing in another thread ................. Did I particularly want to take on this group of four youths knowing the repercussions that may follow ....... no I damn well did not ............... did it do anything other than have me sit here wondering what next is coming my way nope ................. so already I am making plans to deflect any crap as comes my way :Angry3::Angry3:



But that will need either the support of more GGs or at the cost of the comfort of many.

Really and what about the men in your lives ................. or don't they darn well count ................ ??????????????????????????

[Nicole Erin]

Wow, with some of the rude comments from a couple of our own TG sisters in here, I wonder if Shiela and Nigella are kind of regretting the tattoos?

I hope not cause here is the thing - while most people seem indifferent about TG, and a few hate us, it is nice to run into someone in real life that truely supports us.

So I imagine when TG [closet or out] see the tattoos, it will make their day.
As I said, a lot of TG will understand the signifigance of it, whether they have ever seen this forum or not. :)

[karinels]

I will admit to being a selfish crossdresser. I go where I want and see what I want to see. I visit this site and enjoy most of what I see and read. From my own life, I will agree that being a cd can be a selfish act, and that others support can be overlooked. I overlooked the support of a very wonderful lady I was lucky enough to have met almost 10 years ago. But in learning what I have since then, I can only guess that my own unhappiness of myself that my family discarded as a phase back when I was a child has taken over my life and I am set for a life that will always leave me wondering 'what if'. I am not looking for understanding, pity, or sympathy. I am not looking for support and encouragement. Just wanted to state that the original poster may not be far off if other CD's have lived lives similar to mine.:2c:

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I sure coulda used that the other night when I was dealing with the local yobs near me as can be seen here CLICK (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=110023)

That may already be covered by the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 (http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts1997/ukpga_19970040_en_1). The problem with incidents like that is getting evidence of the offence and getting the police to take it seriously.

[Sandra]

I wonder if Shiela and Nigella are kind of regretting the tattoos?




LOL It's not Sheila that had it done it was me :D and nope I don't regret having it done at all.

But it still seems that some on here still don't get the point of this thread. :wall:

[Deborah Jane]

LOL It's not Sheila that had it done it was me :D



Well Sheila did have one too....With my name on it :)

[Tamara Croft]

Don't pull that whinging crap, when you're one of the enforcers of the status quo who actively hammers down TG folk who DO say things against the grain. I've posted mad posts, and had them deleted with at least some justification. So now some can post mad posts, bascially as long as they're whinging about how a certain SO isn't being sucked up to?Grrrrr.... stop ripping my posts apart, it's really pissing me off... I don't hammer people down who go against the grain at all, or half this board wouldn't exist :Angry3:


And I'm not intimidated by you, though I do find your crabby nature appealing at times.Good, I hope you're not intimidated. However, I am very crabby today, so anyone thinking of getting on my crabby side, had better think twice about doing it :Angry3:

[PaulaJaneThomas]

so anyone thinking of getting on my crabby side, had better think twice about doing it

Hmm crabs ... yummy :) :) :) (as long they're not pubic ;))

PS are you living with Badgers in Sherwood Forest? You might know my cousin Brock :)

[KandisTX]

I have looked in that particular topic of threads one time and that was because of the link posted on THIS thread. Did I comment? Nope, sure didn't. Will I comment? Nope, and not because I don't like the tats or because I do like them. I have enough ink of my own and am wanting a whole lot more. The thing is, if I had to post a comment in each and every thread I read my post count would look more like the balance of all accounts in a Cayman Islands Offshore bank.

I don't comment in all posts I read for two reasons; 1) What I would say would get me in trouble with the admins because I would be one who did not post all rainbows and lollipops, and quite honestly when I do post that sort of stuff I am spot on but I prefer to NOT stir that pot. 2) After reading the OP I do not feel I have anything to add to the conversation and I am not one for one-line posts (very often).

That being said, I think that posting something like the OP on here was in very poor taste because not everyone reads every topic or every thread. There are some whose posts I do not read because I know that as far as I am concerned they have nothing they can teach me and I know that IMHO their ignorance will again be spewing from their posts.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[sandra-leigh]

I didn't read many of the replies.

Nigella, I searched the forum for all of my 2009 calendar year threads and went through all of them. The Sandra you are disappointed I did not respond to, has not responded to even one of those 2009 year threads. You have not responded to any of my 2009 calendar year threads.

I don't mean to imply that I do "tit-for-tat" replying, and I don't mean to imply that either you or Sandra are deliberately ignoring me: it probably just means that we "run in different circles", that the concerns I concentrate on don't happen to overlap especially much to the concerns of Sandra or yourself.

Am I self-centered, is that why I didn't comment on the tattoos? Perhaps I am. But Nigella, did you even read my Tuesday thread about how my marriage is probably over? Have you read any of my threads in which I mentioned that we have an elderly Alzheimer's relative living with us, and that my wife and I are having a very hard time coping? It gets kind of difficult to generate the enthusiasm to salute a flag when you spend your days worrying if your marriage is going to survive the stress of a half-blind stubborn loved-one who insists on wandering off by themselves right across the highway that is 4 houses away.


Also, Nigella, you might not have noticed because of where your focus us, but there's been a whole lot of burn-out various on-line communities the last month-ish. I've seen, on various social networks, messages from very different people who are withdrawing or going on hiatus or find that at this point in life, they need to "find themselves". I don't know why this is so; some of it is Relationship problems (and I've seen a lot of that being mentioned on various social networks lately); some of it is "I don't know what to do with my life", some of it is just general depression, and so on.

[Deborah_UK]

Whilst Sandra said she was not looking for compliments, well done's etc, the statistics only go to show how self centered a lot of CDer's are.



Actually the statistics don't bear that out - I've just done a dip sample of some of the photo threads

sandra's thread hit ratio (comments to views) - currently 2.4% (2.2 at the time of the OP)
Monika's 2.2% (mind you I'm convinced she's a GG anyway :heehee: )
Jennifer Devines 1.16
Sherlyn 3.54
Gretchen_love 1.23
Jenee Davis 2.93
serina lopez 2.07

So the actual hit rate compares quite favourably with other picture threads.

[battybattybats]

Actually the statistics don't bear that out - I've just done a dip sample of some of the photo threads

sandra's thread hit ratio (comments to views) - currently 2.4% (2.2 at the time of the OP)
Monika's 2.2% (mind you I'm convinced she's a GG anyway :heehee: )
Jennifer Devines 1.16
Sherlyn 3.54
Gretchen_love 1.23
Jenee Davis 2.93
serina lopez 2.07

So the actual hit rate compares quite favourably with other picture threads.

Ah, I suspected as much.

So the interesting thing then is the perception was formed that this was selfishness when it was not. Or it's a condemnation of most pic thread responses in general.