Shopping, shaving, and confidence

[Rebecca Jackson]

I wanted to share my progress with everyone here since all of you have been so instrumental in helping me with what I've accomplished lately.

Two weekends ago I finally got past my fears and went to several thrift stores and did some shopping, and felt really happy about that. Last Friday I went to another thrift store but chickened out once I got there, and was feeling down about that. But then the next day I went to some thrift stores in another city, and it took me a while, but I managed to relax and found several nice things. I’ve also bought more make-up. I find it easier to shop out of town because I tend to get more uptight about buying woman’s stuff in my local stores, especially clothes, but I’m making progress with that too.

I shaved my legs two weeks ago, which was a big step for me because in the past I would have never considered shaving during the summer. Naturally the day after I shaved a major heat-wave started and we’ve been baking ever since! I was pretty nervous about going out in public and took it slow, but I didn’t get any funny looks or comments, and now I hardly even think about it. But last night was rather nerve-racking. Both the houses next to me are owned by college kids who are all wrestlers at the university, and I will admit that I’ve been nervous about being outside and having them see my legs. They’re all nice guys, but it was still a situation I wanted to avoid. Well last night one of them knocked on my door, so I had to quickly change out of the b and b-forms I was wearing, which was a challenge! He wanted to show me the fish he’d caught in the pond next to our houses, so I got on my shoes and went out there, and was mortified to see three of his roommates also out there. I tried to stay calm and not panic, and I guess it went okay because no one said anything. I think it helped that they’d all had several beers by then! We talked for about 20 minutes and then I went back home, much relieved. That was pretty scary, but once it was over it did wonders for my self-confidence.

So, things are going really well and I feel great about moving past situations that had been sources of stress for me. It’s so true about how everyone always says people just don’t notice shaved legs and things like that. I’ve always been my own worst enemy because I worry too much and make things harder than they should be, but I think I’m finally learning that it doesn’t have to be that way. I guess I’m getting more comfortable with who I am. I think in the next month or two I’m going to get my ears pierced, which is another biggie I’ve been wanting to do but have been too scared to get it done.

Everyone here has been so kind and supportive, and that has helped me more than you’ll ever know. Thank you all so very much.

Rebecca

[Kate17]

Keep it up Rebecca and soon it will all be second nature. I love to shop and sometimes actually hope some one will ask if they are for me. I guess when i bought a pair of size 12 shoes and a pair of sexy panties, that was pretty obvious. I never even think twice about my shaved legs, arms and arched eyebrows. So about June 1, I went and got my ears repierced. My wife thinks I am a bit strange at times but it passes. The only problem with the ears is that you have to wear the posts for 6 weeks with out taking them out so you may want to plan for that. There are however a few neat tricks you can do such as the fishing line thing.

Kate17

[Danielle Gee]

I've never had the nerve to shave in the summer myself, but I'd love to....I've went out dressed once ( but loved it )..My wife and I went to a drive-in hamburger joint in our town. I occasionally go outside and sit in our rather private garden. BTW your avitar photo is quite beautiful!!

[LisaM]

Rebecca,

Keep growing girl! You are doing great!

[Pauline Lauren]

Good for you Rebecca! I have been working on "growing" and gaining courage in the same areas. I have shaved my legs and my entire front, but now haven't been able to get myself to go out and swim in the apartment complex pool. (No not en femme, in my guy suit. My GF would kill me if I went for a swim in the pool en femme :doh: )

I am doing better on my shopping, having managed to survive shopping the cosmetics department at Walmart a couple times now. Last time was a doozy, I was there alone anyway, and decided to pick up a few more essentials to fill out my make up kit. I got an eyelash curler, some clear nail polish, eye make up remover (taking off mascara with water is a real pain) and some nail polish remover and a ladies Venus razor for my legs. I had some other regular household things as well.

Well wouldn't you know it, but that little bottle of clear polish didn't have a tag on it, and I didn't find this out till of course I was waiting to pay with a nice long line of people behind me. No tag means no ring up of course, at least not without a price check. So the clerk (yes it was a guy of course) asks me if I want to "pay for this now or come back".:brolleyes:

When I was more of a chicken in the past I probably would have said I would come back. I looked at him and said "no, I am not coming back I need to purchase that". So I stood there in front of God and everyone while they got someone to go get another bottle of nail polish to run through the scanner. But you know what?

When it come right down to it, it is my money, a legal product and I decided I would be darned if I would let their own mistake scare me out of something I wanted to buy. So I stood my ground, waited through the seemingly interminable time until they went and found another, and finished my purchase.

Nerve wracking? Yes. Worth it? Definitely yes. It was such a wonderful feeling, almost like a rush afterwards to know I had the courage to stand my ground and not let nerves overcome me. So what if the people in line assumed the nail polish was for me or my GF. I will never see them again most likely and if I do, oh well. And no one seemed concerned in the least except they were annoyed the store didn't have their merchandise marked slowing down the line.

My next big hurdle is to go clothes shopping and be able to tell the SA that I am buying for myself. I am hoping to get on of the other ladies from my CD/TG support to go with me for that, it seems rather intimidating to me at the moment. I have bought clothes at the store before, but always used the excuse they were gifts for my SO. So wish me luck in overcoming that. Because I also want a makeover and to get a wig, and I have been told that shopping in person is always a better idea than the internet ordering "hit or miss":daydreaming:

So good job girlfriend and keep it up, we all need to grow our confidence and courage!!:)
:hugs:
>>>hugs<<<
Pauline

[sissystephanie]

Anybody on the Forum should be able to shop with confidence! Whether you are in the closet or not. The person ringing up your sale is only interested in whether or not you can pay for it!! They have no idea, unless you tell them, who you are buying those pretty panties for, nor do they care! I have been a crossdresser for 70 years, and have done a lot of shopping in that time. Now-a-days I shop dressed most of the time, but looking like a man! The clerks in most of the stores where I shop know I crossdress and they will comment on choices, like "this will look pretty on you" etc. I just laugh and tell them "I hope so." Maybe they laugh at me after I leave, but do I care? Not for a second!

As for shaving legs, many athletes shave their legs. Maybe those wrestlers have theirs shaved!! I have kept my legs shaved year round for probably 30 years. My dear late wife liked it, and so did I!

Shop with confidence, and shave those legs!! You will enjoy it!

:hugs::hugs:

[Rebecca Jackson]

The only problem with the ears is that you have to wear the posts for 6 weeks with out taking them out so you may want to plan for that. There are however a few neat tricks you can do such as the fishing line thing.

Kate17

It does worry me having the pierced ears at work, but there's a thread in the beauty section which talks about clear retainers which make the piercing less obvious, so I think I'll check into those.


I've never had the nerve to shave in the summer myself, but I'd love to....I've went out dressed once ( but loved it )..My wife and I went to a drive-in hamburger joint in our town. I occasionally go outside and sit in our rather private garden. BTW your avitar photo is quite beautiful!!

I'm sure it's just a matter of time until you reach the point where you feel comfortable shaving during the summer. It took me a loooong time to do it, so don't give up hope!


Good for you Rebecca! I have been working on "growing" and gaining courage in the same areas. I have shaved my legs and my entire front, but now haven't been able to get myself to go out and swim in the apartment complex pool. (No not en femme, in my guy suit. My GF would kill me if I went for a swim in the pool en femme :doh: )

I am doing better on my shopping, having managed to survive shopping the cosmetics department at Walmart a couple times now. Last time was a doozy, I was there alone anyway, and decided to pick up a few more essentials to fill out my make up kit. I got an eyelash curler, some clear nail polish, eye make up remover (taking off mascara with water is a real pain) and some nail polish remover and a ladies Venus razor for my legs. I had some other regular household things as well.

Well wouldn't you know it, but that little bottle of clear polish didn't have a tag on it, and I didn't find this out till of course I was waiting to pay with a nice long line of people behind me. No tag means no ring up of course, at least not without a price check. So the clerk (yes it was a guy of course) asks me if I want to "pay for this now or come back".:brolleyes:

When I was more of a chicken in the past I probably would have said I would come back. I looked at him and said "no, I am not coming back I need to purchase that". So I stood there in front of God and everyone while they got someone to go get another bottle of nail polish to run through the scanner. But you know what?

When it come right down to it, it is my money, a legal product and I decided I would be darned if I would let their own mistake scare me out of something I wanted to buy. So I stood my ground, waited through the seemingly interminable time until they went and found another, and finished my purchase.

Nerve wracking? Yes. Worth it? Definitely yes. It was such a wonderful feeling, almost like a rush afterwards to know I had the courage to stand my ground and not let nerves overcome me. So what if the people in line assumed the nail polish was for me or my GF. I will never see them again most likely and if I do, oh well. And no one seemed concerned in the least except they were annoyed the store didn't have their merchandise marked slowing down the line.

My next big hurdle is to go clothes shopping and be able to tell the SA that I am buying for myself. I am hoping to get on of the other ladies from my CD/TG support to go with me for that, it seems rather intimidating to me at the moment. I have bought clothes at the store before, but always used the excuse they were gifts for my SO. So wish me luck in overcoming that. Because I also want a makeover and to get a wig, and I have been told that shopping in person is always a better idea than the internet ordering "hit or miss":daydreaming:

So good job girlfriend and keep it up, we all need to grow our confidence and courage!!:)
:hugs:
>>>hugs<<<
Pauline

I know what you mean about going swimming, I am a little hesitant about doing that.

Good job with buying the nail polish! That probably would have really flustered me! But it's situations like that where we really gain confidence.

For me the shopping gets easier the more I do it. Today I went to JC Penneys and asked about a sleeveless turtleneck I saw on their web site, and the SA called over the department manager to get her help, and they were both really nice and helpful. I never really say whether it's for me or someone else, and they usually don't ask.

[Marisa_M]

Anybody on the Forum should be able to shop with confidence! Whether you are in the closet or not. The person ringing up your sale is only interested in whether or not you can pay for it!! They have no idea, unless you tell them, who you are buying those pretty panties for, nor do they care!

Stephanie is right! saleswomen can be much more supportive and helpful than we can imagine. They want and need to sell and not to judge you.

Once I needed to buy just a lipstick and told the sales girl it was for my girlfriend. She smiled and asked me if my gf had the same skin tone as me so she showed me different shades and how to match it with nail polish and other makeup items.

Result: I've bought 3 lipsticks, matching nail polish, lipliner and gloss, blush and eyeshadow.

And now I always buy all my cosmetics and perfumes from that lovely girl!

[DianneW]

As far as shaving goes, I've kept mine shaved for about 6 yrs. I will wear shorts when its hot out & if anyone notices my legs,theve'd never said anything. My wife works in the cosmetics dept. at a major store, she said more and more males come in buying creams, shaving gel and waxing kits for their own use. Seems to be the growing trend now-a-days.

[bobi jean]

Rebecca
First off, I'm origionally from Kansas, which part of Missouri are you from?, what kind of fish was it? and GOOD FOR YOU GIRL! THE LEG SHAVING THING, IS NOT AS BIG A DEAL AS MOST THINK, I shaved my legs the first time (almost 15 years ago), about 10 years before I left Kansas and the ONLY person that ever said anything about them, was the first friend I told that I was a CD. She said, and I quote, "did you start shaving your legs before or after you started dressing up as a girl"? My answer was " a long time afterwards, I started dressing way before I had hair on my legs".
So, any of you out there considering shaving your legs, just do it!!! I lived in an area of VERY CONSERVITIVE citizens (northeast Kansas) and no-one ever said anything, other than Donna, the girl mentioned above. I take the only one thing back!!! one of Donna's daughters told me that I should use nair, it lasts way longer.
Any way You go girl!!!

[Rebecca Jackson]

Rebecca
First off, I'm origionally from Kansas, which part of Missouri are you from?, what kind of fish was it? and GOOD FOR YOU GIRL! THE LEG SHAVING THING, IS NOT AS BIG A DEAL AS MOST THINK, I shaved my legs the first time (almost 15 years ago), about 10 years before I left Kansas and the ONLY person that ever said anything about them, was the first friend I told that I was a CD. She said, and I quote, "did you start shaving your legs before or after you started dressing up as a girl"? My answer was " a long time afterwards, I started dressing way before I had hair on my legs".
So, any of you out there considering shaving your legs, just do it!!! I lived in an area of VERY CONSERVITIVE citizens (northeast Kansas) and no-one ever said anything, other than Donna, the girl mentioned above. I take the only one thing back!!! one of Donna's daughters told me that I should use nair, it lasts way longer.
Any way You go girl!!!


Hi Bobi Jean,
I'm from central Missouri. I bet you don't miss the weather out here; it's been really hot and humid the past two weeks. I see you live in California now. I'm originally from the Bay Area. They had several nice sized catfish, about 18 inches. Good eatin! You're so right about it not being as big a deal as we imagine it will be. I still feel a bit uncomfortable at times, but no one has said anything, and I'm getting more comfortable every day. Nair is okay if you can get past that awful smell!

[tricia_uktv]

Yep, your doing fine girl. The confidence will come but it will take time. Don't worry about the odd failure, I had many many lapses of confidence and hated myself for a while afterwards, but used that hate inside to ensure I did it the next time. I think you are better shopping away from where you live because there's less pressure. its all about the gorgeous dress you've just bought not where you got it from! Have fun and well done,

Hugs

[APRIL0401]

This is the first summer that I have kept shaving my legs.
I work outside and wear shorts daily. My legs are tan and look great.
Only one person ever said anything. A lady told me I have legs that look like a lady. I took that as a compliment. Only thing she's 85 years old.

[leia]

Girl you are doing fine. I keep my body shaved and have since 74. If they are a DOT'S in your area they have some bigger but young style clothes and are tg friendly I bought my swim suit at wal mart and tried it on in the dressing room and all was said was the girl asking if it fit ok. Then the other day my room mate and I went kayaking all I wore was a halter top board shorts and wedged sandles. All were O P brand and in pink and white. there was a bunch of people at the beach and no one said any thing, If they had I wouldnt of cared, I am who I am. But I have been dressing and going out for quite some time, Most of the worry is in your mind, not other peoples. Once I got over wondering what people was thinking,life got so much easier. so just go far it.