Jakob
06-24-2009, 07:02 PM
Hey everyone! I really need to talk about what happened today.
I never even thought about going out at all. Well maybe I dreamed about it, but there were just too many facts and thoughts and little things that kept me from doing so.
My wig is cheap and really not that great, I have no clothes to go out, I'm too inexperienced to cover the shadow of my beard properly. My make-up skills are not good at all.
How in the world did I manage to still go out today?
My parents are on vacation, so I can use my moms car and I look after their house. I found a dress in my moms closet, put it on and it felt great.
I bought some more expensive makeup and was kinda ok with my looks. Nah, not just ok. I actually felt euphoric, I felt that I could pass like this.
There was still the cheap wig and it was still impossible for me to completely hide my beard.
Anyway this afternoon I dressed up and was all ready to go out. I had serious doubts. I was nervous. Very nervous.
There are like 200 appartments in my house, I live in the 10th floor and have to use the elevator to get down.
I was so nervous, I was almost throwing up. Ok, calm down dude. I grabbed a beer, drank half of it and went out of the room. Fortunately I met no one on my way out.
I got in the car to drive around a bit before heading to the city and it's fashion stores. When I got out of the car, it was 7:30pm, half an hour before most shops close. Walking in my 2,5 inch heels was surprisingly easy. Was going to try on some dresses, jeans, sunglasses...whatever.
I immediately noticed men looking at me. WTF? Does it really feel like that to be a girl? I'm 6'2", my legs are pretty long when I wear that dress but I didn't expect to be noticed in such an obvious way.
It did not feel that good to be honest. I'm generally attracted to men (although women are my 'first choice') but they have to be my kinda guy.
Well that was kind of a letdown. I expected to feel more like a girl. But I just felt like myself dressed as a girl.
Shopping never happened as I forgot my wallet in the car and time flew by. I was just too nervous I guess.
I kept walking around and had two happy moments when some guy whistled at me and someone honked his horn when I was standing next to my car. This encouraged me and actually made me smile.
Ok, sorry if this is confusing and makes little sense, I just had to talk about it as no one of my friends or family knows about my crossdressing.
I will post one or two pics of how I looked today later. Thanks for reading.
I never even thought about going out at all. Well maybe I dreamed about it, but there were just too many facts and thoughts and little things that kept me from doing so.
My wig is cheap and really not that great, I have no clothes to go out, I'm too inexperienced to cover the shadow of my beard properly. My make-up skills are not good at all.
How in the world did I manage to still go out today?
My parents are on vacation, so I can use my moms car and I look after their house. I found a dress in my moms closet, put it on and it felt great.
I bought some more expensive makeup and was kinda ok with my looks. Nah, not just ok. I actually felt euphoric, I felt that I could pass like this.
There was still the cheap wig and it was still impossible for me to completely hide my beard.
Anyway this afternoon I dressed up and was all ready to go out. I had serious doubts. I was nervous. Very nervous.
There are like 200 appartments in my house, I live in the 10th floor and have to use the elevator to get down.
I was so nervous, I was almost throwing up. Ok, calm down dude. I grabbed a beer, drank half of it and went out of the room. Fortunately I met no one on my way out.
I got in the car to drive around a bit before heading to the city and it's fashion stores. When I got out of the car, it was 7:30pm, half an hour before most shops close. Walking in my 2,5 inch heels was surprisingly easy. Was going to try on some dresses, jeans, sunglasses...whatever.
I immediately noticed men looking at me. WTF? Does it really feel like that to be a girl? I'm 6'2", my legs are pretty long when I wear that dress but I didn't expect to be noticed in such an obvious way.
It did not feel that good to be honest. I'm generally attracted to men (although women are my 'first choice') but they have to be my kinda guy.
Well that was kind of a letdown. I expected to feel more like a girl. But I just felt like myself dressed as a girl.
Shopping never happened as I forgot my wallet in the car and time flew by. I was just too nervous I guess.
I kept walking around and had two happy moments when some guy whistled at me and someone honked his horn when I was standing next to my car. This encouraged me and actually made me smile.
Ok, sorry if this is confusing and makes little sense, I just had to talk about it as no one of my friends or family knows about my crossdressing.
I will post one or two pics of how I looked today later. Thanks for reading.