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Phyliss
06-25-2009, 08:44 AM
Written last night and finished off this morning.


There have been a few threads lately, about the internal “pain” of seeing a pretty well dressed woman and the desire we feel to be like them. I guess I feel it as much as anybody else.
It’s late at this time so some of my thoughts may be a bit fuzzy or difficult to understand, bear with me.

We’ve all head the phrase “The Grass Is Always Greener on The Other Side of The Fence” . I’ve been as guilty as anybody, of staring at that grass and wishing I was in that pasture. Problem is, I know the pasture I’m in at present, and while not looking as GREEN as the other it is familiar to me.
The author Irma Bombeck wrote a book titled “The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”
I guess a rational person would look at the beautiful verdant pasture and ask how come it’s so green. I simply look and see without asking. I want, I want, without care of any reason.
I try to avoid the postings of “The Magic Pill” questions, or “Granted 3 Wishes” type, answering them only frustrates me more.

So somebody is sure to say, “Do something about it Phyliss” …. I suppose I could, but then what I decide will have many affects on others. Some of those I wouldn’t wish on my enemy.
Should I live in misery? Roy Clark sang a song titled “Right or Left at Oak St.” He says “I don’t know which takes more courage, the staying or running away”

Next Morning

I guess I’m just so jealous of their pretty looks and know I wouldn’t have a chance to look like that. Oh, I can make a reasonable presentation, for a person of my age. That’s the “key phrase” For a person of my age . Youth has long ago passed. Looking back and wishing is pointless.

While the desire to “trade places” isn’t all consuming for me, I do so wish I could. I know, “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”
I want to be like that model in the glamour magazine, next thing I know I’m part of a picture in a magazine, about to be tossed out with the rubbish. That’d be just my luck. Much like the title of the book by Ms. Bombeck, to get that kinda of green grass that everybody will envy, you need a whole load of “stuff” under it. Am I willing to put up with that kind of “stuff” ?
Once the beauty is there, you have to work to keep it, constant dieting, working out at the gym to keep the figure, gallons of makeup to keep “the look”, many, many, dollars spent on clothes to appear light hearted and carefree, the latest style of shoes, and on and on. Now, that may seem like a Cross dressers dream come true, and I suppose it would be, … for awhile. Then it’d become work to keep it all up and still work for a living, ( as a woman ) low pay, or at least not equal sometimes, being treated like some ditz most of the time, being “hit on” by some wanna be Don Juan, and of course having to smile when being visited by the monthly “friend”

I’ve often said that should something happen and “it” fell off or had to be removed for some medical reason I don’t think I would be upset. Any choice of keeping “it” would be out of my hands. To intentionally have “it” removed isn’t something I’d consider, ( at this time). What if I changed my mind later on? Oh, possibly if there were some medical reason and later on I “changed my mind” I might be angry about what happened, then, but I didn’t have a choice as to keeping “it”. At least I wouldn’t be angry and upset with myself for having done that. Which is one reason why a person spends 2 to 3 years with a shrink before anybody reaches for the scissors. I understand that, and, at this time, I don’t believe I’ll be heading that direction.

Still, even though I can, I think, rationally explain to myself why I DON’T want to “trade places”, I still get this feeling of envy when I see a pretty girl. They go through life not having a clue as to what I would give to be like them, if only for a little while. So natural and relaxed in their own persona and seeming so calm about the rest of the world. I know that isn’t always the case. It’s what I see and THAT image is the dream I chase.

DianneW
06-25-2009, 09:38 AM
I think I understand how you feel,for I feel the same way when I see a pretty girl. Dwelling on it just seems to make it worse so I try not to. If "IT" fell off or had to be removed for a med. reason, thats OK but for me to choose to have it done I'll just leave things as they are. I guess I'm just saying, most of us anyway, have to " play the hand that was delt to us"
Try to stop looking at the neg. & search for all the positive things that you have had & have right now. Hopefully you will feel a little better.

LisaM
06-25-2009, 09:45 AM
Phyllis,

I understand how you feel and I sympathize.

TGMarla
06-25-2009, 10:09 AM
Phyllis, well stated. I completely concur with most of what you have written. But see, the thing is, except for coming up on this end of a genetic crapshoot, I might well be the woman I've always wished I could be. Hey, that might not be some magazine model, ravishing and gorgeous, but I don't think I'd have come out too bad, based on how the women in my family look.

Women go through this life, for the most part, just like men do. They don't second guess the fact that they're women; they just are. And from my experience, most of them wouldn't trade places with a man for anything, low pay and monthly "friends" and all. They enjoy being women. And if it takes a little work to keep up the nice appearance, well, so be it. But I'd likely appreciate having those looks more now, as a MTF crossdresser, than I would had I been born that way. It's hard to appreciate that which you have been given.

But at this point in my life, with the warranty running out on most of my body parts, and my hair falling out more and more each year, I'm not going to opt for any surgical remedies, either. In order for me to look presentable as a female, I'd have to wear a wig every day. I dress up, and I think I look pretty, or at least pretty enough for me to enjoy the fantasy of being a pretty woman. Striving for that every day as an actual female (surgically altered) would be a harsh reality, rendering this whole option little more than a dream and a fantasy. And this is one more reason that it hurts a bit to see such lovely young ladies. I still get that longing to have had the privilege of living that life.

Phyliss
06-25-2009, 03:05 PM
Marla says “…I still get that longing to have had the privilege of living that life.”

Picking up the analogy from above about the grass being greener and pairing it with Marla’s comment.
Back story
Wife and I had our pedicure appointment today. L usually does mine and S does my wife, ( kinda fun sitting at matching tubs facing each other while getting painted) The conversation among us four, while sometimes interesting, this day got a bit personal as to past relationships and ex s . I commented that neither my wife or I have any “ex” to consider or worry about. Somewhere in the conversation R (the esthetician) joined us and soon enough some of the “horror stories” of how they were treated by those bums came out. Kind of an impromptu therapy session. ( commonly known as girl talk, and I was there ) Glad I was. S retold of some abusive treatment she received. Now, you’d have to know S and see her to understand just how beautiful she is, and how well she dresses. Not seductive, but just so well that it almost hurts to see her. Hair and makeup is always perfect. She is one of those ladies that I so envy for their blessed good looks and good fortune to have been born a girl.
Today I learn of a much darker side of her life and the pain she endured before she finally left the louse. Had my “wish” to be her, been granted I would have had to also suffer that pain.

I saw a weed patch in the pasture that I have been looking at so longingly.

Perhaps I’m glad I was privy to the conversation. It isn’t always shopping, wearing pretty clothes, and doing your makeup at a vanity table, while wear a silk dressing gown.
Reality, when it strikes, can be a very cold fish slapped in your face.

tricia_uktv
06-25-2009, 05:03 PM
We can only be the best we can be given our circumstances. We need to take pride in that and that alone. Its not only us that are envious of pretty girls, its most of the rest of the female population. Accentuate our assets, try to hide our flaws and practice. Its what every gg does after all. Lovely post though.

As for whether I would "miss it". That is something for the first time I'm seriously pondering. That one is difficult!

kellycan27
06-25-2009, 05:11 PM
Marla says “…I still get that longing to have had the privilege of living that life.”

Picking up the analogy from above about the grass being greener and pairing it with Marla’s comment.
Back story
Wife and I had our pedicure appointment today. L usually does mine and S does my wife, ( kinda fun sitting at matching tubs facing each other while getting painted) The conversation among us four, while sometimes interesting, this day got a bit personal as to past relationships and ex s . I commented that neither my wife or I have any “ex” to consider or worry about. Somewhere in the conversation R (the esthetician) joined us and soon enough some of the “horror stories” of how they were treated by those bums came out. Kind of an impromptu therapy session. ( commonly known as girl talk, and I was there ) Glad I was. S retold of some abusive treatment she received. Now, you’d have to know S and see her to understand just how beautiful she is, and how well she dresses. Not seductive, but just so well that it almost hurts to see her. Hair and makeup is always perfect. She is one of those ladies that I so envy for their blessed good looks and good fortune to have been born a girl.
Today I learn of a much darker side of her life and the pain she endured before she finally left the louse. Had my “wish” to be her, been granted I would have had to also suffer that pain.

I saw a weed patch in the pasture that I have been looking at so longingly.

Perhaps I’m glad I was privy to the conversation. It isn’t always shopping, wearing pretty clothes, and doing your makeup at a vanity table, while wear a silk dressing gown.
Reality, when it strikes, can be a very cold fish slapped in your face.

Along with stories such as that I am sure that there are good experiences. My grandparents were happily married for 55 year. They still held hands when they walked together.My own parents were married for 30 years before my father passed away. If I could be a GG, I'd take my chances in a New York minute. I am happy living as a woman 24/7, but at times yearn to be a real girl. Taking care of yourself is just something any person should probably do.. diet,exercise,grooming.... man,woman,crossdresser, or transexual.. just makes good sense..right? I don't know too many GG's that are up for being glamorus 24/7. Jobs,kids,husbands...time and energy spent doesn't always leave room for glamour.
I have learned this lesson myslf. I am not always up for dressing to the 9's to go to the mall or the market. Can't put my life on hold because I am having a bad hair day. Sure I'd like to to be a GG, but at the end of the day I find that I am very content being who I am at present. SRS will get me as close as I can get. Close is good..better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

deja true
06-25-2009, 06:08 PM
These are wonderful, thoughtful posts ... the best in a long time...

And a pretty good antidote to an incipient case of the pink fog!

Thanks, Phyliss

:)

RobynP
06-28-2009, 08:54 PM
We’ve all head the phrase “The Grass Is Always Greener on The Other Side of The Fence” . I’ve been as guilty as anybody, of staring at that grass and wishing I was in that pasture.

The grass is always greener on the other side because it is well fertilized... Be careful where you walk and stand in that pasture!

Robyn P.