Phyliss
06-25-2009, 08:44 AM
Written last night and finished off this morning.
There have been a few threads lately, about the internal “pain” of seeing a pretty well dressed woman and the desire we feel to be like them. I guess I feel it as much as anybody else.
It’s late at this time so some of my thoughts may be a bit fuzzy or difficult to understand, bear with me.
We’ve all head the phrase “The Grass Is Always Greener on The Other Side of The Fence” . I’ve been as guilty as anybody, of staring at that grass and wishing I was in that pasture. Problem is, I know the pasture I’m in at present, and while not looking as GREEN as the other it is familiar to me.
The author Irma Bombeck wrote a book titled “The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”
I guess a rational person would look at the beautiful verdant pasture and ask how come it’s so green. I simply look and see without asking. I want, I want, without care of any reason.
I try to avoid the postings of “The Magic Pill” questions, or “Granted 3 Wishes” type, answering them only frustrates me more.
So somebody is sure to say, “Do something about it Phyliss” …. I suppose I could, but then what I decide will have many affects on others. Some of those I wouldn’t wish on my enemy.
Should I live in misery? Roy Clark sang a song titled “Right or Left at Oak St.” He says “I don’t know which takes more courage, the staying or running away”
Next Morning
I guess I’m just so jealous of their pretty looks and know I wouldn’t have a chance to look like that. Oh, I can make a reasonable presentation, for a person of my age. That’s the “key phrase” For a person of my age . Youth has long ago passed. Looking back and wishing is pointless.
While the desire to “trade places” isn’t all consuming for me, I do so wish I could. I know, “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”
I want to be like that model in the glamour magazine, next thing I know I’m part of a picture in a magazine, about to be tossed out with the rubbish. That’d be just my luck. Much like the title of the book by Ms. Bombeck, to get that kinda of green grass that everybody will envy, you need a whole load of “stuff” under it. Am I willing to put up with that kind of “stuff” ?
Once the beauty is there, you have to work to keep it, constant dieting, working out at the gym to keep the figure, gallons of makeup to keep “the look”, many, many, dollars spent on clothes to appear light hearted and carefree, the latest style of shoes, and on and on. Now, that may seem like a Cross dressers dream come true, and I suppose it would be, … for awhile. Then it’d become work to keep it all up and still work for a living, ( as a woman ) low pay, or at least not equal sometimes, being treated like some ditz most of the time, being “hit on” by some wanna be Don Juan, and of course having to smile when being visited by the monthly “friend”
I’ve often said that should something happen and “it” fell off or had to be removed for some medical reason I don’t think I would be upset. Any choice of keeping “it” would be out of my hands. To intentionally have “it” removed isn’t something I’d consider, ( at this time). What if I changed my mind later on? Oh, possibly if there were some medical reason and later on I “changed my mind” I might be angry about what happened, then, but I didn’t have a choice as to keeping “it”. At least I wouldn’t be angry and upset with myself for having done that. Which is one reason why a person spends 2 to 3 years with a shrink before anybody reaches for the scissors. I understand that, and, at this time, I don’t believe I’ll be heading that direction.
Still, even though I can, I think, rationally explain to myself why I DON’T want to “trade places”, I still get this feeling of envy when I see a pretty girl. They go through life not having a clue as to what I would give to be like them, if only for a little while. So natural and relaxed in their own persona and seeming so calm about the rest of the world. I know that isn’t always the case. It’s what I see and THAT image is the dream I chase.
There have been a few threads lately, about the internal “pain” of seeing a pretty well dressed woman and the desire we feel to be like them. I guess I feel it as much as anybody else.
It’s late at this time so some of my thoughts may be a bit fuzzy or difficult to understand, bear with me.
We’ve all head the phrase “The Grass Is Always Greener on The Other Side of The Fence” . I’ve been as guilty as anybody, of staring at that grass and wishing I was in that pasture. Problem is, I know the pasture I’m in at present, and while not looking as GREEN as the other it is familiar to me.
The author Irma Bombeck wrote a book titled “The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”
I guess a rational person would look at the beautiful verdant pasture and ask how come it’s so green. I simply look and see without asking. I want, I want, without care of any reason.
I try to avoid the postings of “The Magic Pill” questions, or “Granted 3 Wishes” type, answering them only frustrates me more.
So somebody is sure to say, “Do something about it Phyliss” …. I suppose I could, but then what I decide will have many affects on others. Some of those I wouldn’t wish on my enemy.
Should I live in misery? Roy Clark sang a song titled “Right or Left at Oak St.” He says “I don’t know which takes more courage, the staying or running away”
Next Morning
I guess I’m just so jealous of their pretty looks and know I wouldn’t have a chance to look like that. Oh, I can make a reasonable presentation, for a person of my age. That’s the “key phrase” For a person of my age . Youth has long ago passed. Looking back and wishing is pointless.
While the desire to “trade places” isn’t all consuming for me, I do so wish I could. I know, “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”
I want to be like that model in the glamour magazine, next thing I know I’m part of a picture in a magazine, about to be tossed out with the rubbish. That’d be just my luck. Much like the title of the book by Ms. Bombeck, to get that kinda of green grass that everybody will envy, you need a whole load of “stuff” under it. Am I willing to put up with that kind of “stuff” ?
Once the beauty is there, you have to work to keep it, constant dieting, working out at the gym to keep the figure, gallons of makeup to keep “the look”, many, many, dollars spent on clothes to appear light hearted and carefree, the latest style of shoes, and on and on. Now, that may seem like a Cross dressers dream come true, and I suppose it would be, … for awhile. Then it’d become work to keep it all up and still work for a living, ( as a woman ) low pay, or at least not equal sometimes, being treated like some ditz most of the time, being “hit on” by some wanna be Don Juan, and of course having to smile when being visited by the monthly “friend”
I’ve often said that should something happen and “it” fell off or had to be removed for some medical reason I don’t think I would be upset. Any choice of keeping “it” would be out of my hands. To intentionally have “it” removed isn’t something I’d consider, ( at this time). What if I changed my mind later on? Oh, possibly if there were some medical reason and later on I “changed my mind” I might be angry about what happened, then, but I didn’t have a choice as to keeping “it”. At least I wouldn’t be angry and upset with myself for having done that. Which is one reason why a person spends 2 to 3 years with a shrink before anybody reaches for the scissors. I understand that, and, at this time, I don’t believe I’ll be heading that direction.
Still, even though I can, I think, rationally explain to myself why I DON’T want to “trade places”, I still get this feeling of envy when I see a pretty girl. They go through life not having a clue as to what I would give to be like them, if only for a little while. So natural and relaxed in their own persona and seeming so calm about the rest of the world. I know that isn’t always the case. It’s what I see and THAT image is the dream I chase.