definition of 'femininity'?

[helenr]

I have been thinking today about what exactly is femininity and why automatically are males excluded in the conventional sense from displaying any true feminine characteristics, or are we? I read terms like gentleness, patience, kindness...are these exclusively for genetic females? How do others feel about the topic?

[Krista1985]

Definitions are always changing,

It really all depends upon time and location. Check out Louis XIV's portrait, or any other important man of his time. Heals, tights, wigs, make-up and ruffles, all from the 17th century mens department! Today we call that feminine, but if you called him that to his face, "Off with his head!"

It's kind of like how women today can go about in jeans and t-shirts rocking sneakers. Women 100 years ago would have trouble calling that feminine, yet it's the standard uniform of the time. Try telling a woman dressed like that she looks masculine, and, "Off with his head!"

So I guess feminine is as feminine does? :heehee:

[MissConstrued]

I read terms like gentleness, patience, kindness...are these exclusively for genetic females?


I think those are masculine traits. I run across them more in men than in women.


But in all seriousness, that's just a dumb question. Women bear the children, men cause them to do so. Anything else is a crapshoot.

[ReineD]

Henlen you've described some of the many human emotions. I don't believe women hold the exclusive title to them. You should meet my sons. :)

One wise member here, I believe it was Satrana, explained to me once that TGs (maybe not all, but lots) feel they need to go into femme mode in order to express their softer sides. They've not allowed themselves to do so in guy mode as this might have given away their "deep dark secret" of being trans. This explains why so many people in this forum feel they have different personalities when dressed.

Just allow yourself be who you are and feel all your very human feelings. Anyone can be kind, patient, compassionate, loving. Anyone can be aggressive, competitive, etc. too. And in my view, it is normal and healthy for everyone to cry if they need to. And laugh too, of course.
:hugs:

[Joanne f]

I my opinion femininity is a combination of things with the main one being movement/gesture , a soft flowing movement that radiates from your inner body to the extremes of your limbs, no rigidness and no straight lines, femininity shows in an instant purely form that soft flowing movement that some are graced with and when you see it you know it instantly.

[Kate Simmons]

We're not excluded, just programmed. Every once in awhile a unique individual comes along (male or female) who challenges the status quo by displaying independent thinking and choices by becoming their own person. These unique individuals are to be feared and shunned by the "masses" not unlike how the X-Men are treated in the popular comic book. The choice we all face it seems is whether to be just another cog in the wheel of the "machine" or someone who will make a difference. Hmm, sounds a little bit like Neo in the Matrix, huh?:)

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I have been thinking today about what exactly is femininity and why automatically are males excluded in the conventional sense from displaying any true feminine characteristics, or are we? I read terms like gentleness, patience, kindness...are these exclusively for genetic females? How do others feel about the topic?

We're excluded (as men) because at some point in time, the people in power and those who had great influence over others (rulers, religious leaders, etc.) decided they didn't like it. It was vilified, shamed, and transformed into an undesirable social. This sentiment was then passed down from generation to generation and backed up with all the lies and BS people have been clinging to ever since.

Hopefully Batty will chime in. She's researched and (many times) written about the history of crossdressing and how it went from an acceptable, even noble thing to the social taboo it is today.

[shannonsilk]

Somewhat off the subject, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

BTO sing about "the girls (who) try to look pretty."

Springsteen -- "girls comb their hair in rear view mirrors,
and the boys try to look so hard."

There may be some genetic portion to the actions and feelings acted on by people, but as Ariana says a lot of it is programming (culture).

[docrobbysherry]

I think those are masculine traits. I run across them more in men than in women.


I tend to agree Miss C! Altho I've seen them in both men AND women!:brolleyes:


I my opinion femininity is a combination of things with the main one being movement/gesture , a soft flowing movement that radiates from your inner body to the extremes of your limbs, no rigidness and no straight lines, femininity shows in an instant purely form that soft flowing movement that some are graced with and when you see it you know it instantly.

I think you're close, Joanne. There r other suttle looks, sounds, touches, etc. that I find VERY attractive in a feminine woman. NOT sure how to define them, but recognize them when I see, hear, or feel them!:hugs:

[LilSissyStevie]

Most people do not separate 'femininity' from 'female.' That is, they don't separate the psychology from the physiology. My observation is that the average female is only slightly more feminine than the average male. The difference is enough that certain characteristics can be labeled feminine and others masculine. Men are on average slightly more aggressive than women so we can say that aggressiveness is a masculine trait. It doesn't mean that women aren't aggressive. It just means that they aren't as aggressive as men on average. A lot of folks think that having a limp wrist and a wiggle in their walk is somehow feminine when it's just (exaggerated) female behaviour the same way that walking like an ape is male behaviour.

Gentleness, patience and kindness are feminine and its a shame that all too few women (or men) are able express them. Femininity is not valued very highly in our culture even among women. Maybe it isn't valued highly in any culture. My sense is that the average person is more masculine than feminine. I don't have a comprehensive list of feminine vs masculine traits or female vs male traits. But, I think the first step is to separate physical from psychological characteristics. For now I'll just stick with "I know them when I see them."

[linnea]

Gentleness, patience, and kindness--these are very good human characteristics and certainly not the exclusive domains of females (not that they have tried to exclude or prevent males from expressing them). These are learned behaviors, reinforced more readily for girls and women than for men. It's sad, I think. But that should not prevent anyone--male or female--from expressing them.
I try to exhibit these qualities in male or female mode. It just seems like the right thing to do.

[Nicki B]

My observation is that the average female is only slightly more feminine than the average male.

But the ranges are wide and have a big overlap?


Femininity is not valued very highly in our culture even among women. Maybe it isn't valued highly in any culture. My sense is that the average person is more masculine than feminine.

Yet there is a strong move in current business cultures to more 'feminine' ways of working?

'Femininity' has always been seen as a social construct, influenced by culture and conditioning. However, we are living proof that 'feeling feminine' isn't just a construct, it's comes from deeper within? :)

[helenr]

thanks for the comments. complex subject. surely many males learn to suppress anything that might be construed as weak. some may remember how Ed Muskie was hectored for appearing to cry when a cruel comment about his wife was voiced by a reporter, or similar.
I think the big fear is appearing EFFEMINATE which might be linked to walking with a limp wrist, lisping, and other distinctly different behaviors. complicated world. best, helen

[linnea]

'Femininity' has always been seen as a social construct, influenced by culture and conditioning. However, we are living proof that 'feeling feminine' isn't just a construct, it's comes from deeper within? :)

I agree with this with all my heart.

[Jessica Who]

Typically, in our society, any overt showing of femininity is instantly frowned upon by others. What's worse is that even females insult other females for being too feminine at times. It's ridiculous as far as I'm concerned.

Many people want girls to be feminine and guys to be masculine, with no in between.

Here's an example from my own life. Something as simple as using hand lotion after I wash my hands has gotten negative comments from those around me.