How did you cope?

[madison lee]

How did you each cope with being a crossdresser before the advent of the internet and all of the wonderfull support groups that are out there now? Personally I didn't do all that well. I always felt like there was something wrong with me mentally for wanting to wear womens clothes. It didn't help any when my younger sister found my stash of underthings and showed them to my mom and dad.

My dad , the ever sensitive, compassionate, understanding person that he was (total sarcasm, in case you missed it) made me strip naked in front of my nrothers and sisters and my mom and forced me to put on several different things and model them for him. He then proceeded to call me a little girl and ask me if I wanted to cut off my penis and grow breasts. As I didn't completely understand it myself, all I could say was no. He then made a fire and burned all of my stuff.

Now don't get me wrong, my dad loved us, took care of us, and we never lacked anything when growing up. He just never had to deal with something like this from the other kids. With them it was drugs and drinking that he had to deal with, and he understood that kind of thing. Ironically enough the wierd child that I was turned out to be the most successfull in terms of professional and personal. I have a great job and a beautifull wife who loves and supports my crossdressing.

I am good enough, I am smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

Hugs,

Madison

[cindym5_04]

I always thought I was weird, so I just hid stuff and kept it all to myself and did a lot of wondering about "why am I this way?".

As far as your father, you using the "he never had to deal with that from the other kids" is not a good reason for him to do what he did. Once, my mom caught me dressed and dragged me out in front of my dad and sister just to show them and embarrass me out of it. As you can tell- it didn't work.

[goofus]

Good for you, Madison!!

[Lisa Golightly]

I always thought I was weird...

I am, was, and always will be weird.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

I raised and trained dustbunnies in my closet.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[AlannahNorth]

Before the Internet - well, that is going back into the deep, dark and dingy past... Did a lot of wondering and like so many, thought I was just kind of weird - and no one to talk to about it.

Life is definitely better now.

[jenna_woods]

Before the internet, I always thought there was something wrong with me, and I wass the only male that loved wearing women's things, now things are so much better, and I know I am not alone,

[TGMarla]

Well, it was tough before the internet. I had absolutely no way of knowing that there were any other people out there who shared my peculiar affectation. And I was not about to go around asking anyone, either. I figured there had to be others, but there was no way to find out without outing myself and placing myself in embarrassing and compromising situations.

I was busted by both parents on separate occasions. My father took it well, but it really bothered him. He let me know that when he was young, he'd had a bit of an obsession with his mother's jewelry. It was his attempt to understand. But we're talking puddles in comparison to lakes here. His was but a fraction of what I was dealing with. My mother was very unhappy that I was putting her clothing on. But she, too, was loving, and in her own way, as understanding as she could be.

But now here we are, internet and all, and I'm very glad to have all of you around. It's a great relief to talk with understanding people. Thank goodness for the internet!

[jennCD]

I grew up knowing I was different from the other kids.... this just happened to be one of the bigger reasons why I never felt like I fit in. There was little to no information available about "why" so I just went about being the best "me" I could be regardless. It was a somewhat insulated way of living, but I did have some good friends along the way and I don't feel it isolated me in any way.

Being caught was a major fear I had, but over time, I learned to be careful and even if I may have slipped up on a few occasions, nothing negative ever came from it.

I understood that I was simply different and I accepted it as how things were.

:)
jenn

[Leslie Langford]

Now don't get me wrong, my dad loved us, took care of us, and we never lacked anything when growing up. He just never had to deal with something like this from the other kids. With them it was drugs and drinking that he had to deal with, and he understood that kind of thing. Ironically enough the wierd child that I was turned out to be the most successfull in terms of professional and personal. I have a great job and a beautifull wife who loves and supports my crossdressing.

I am good enough, I am smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

Hugs,

Madison


..."living well is the best revenge..."

Or as the German philosopher Nietzsche once said: "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger."

Good for you for being true to yourself despite all of the challenges, Madison, and as you can see, you're among freinds here!

Hugs right back at you,

Leslie :love:

[5150 Girl]

before the WWW I to thought i was a freak alone in the world.
I would just hide out in the basement

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I did not cope well - I still loved to dress, but I thought that I was the only one who did.

I only wish that the Internet had been available when I was a lot younger.

JoAnne Wheeler

[il.dso]

Yes, the internet (and this website) have been a wonderful development although
many crossdressing challenges remain...

[Nicole Erin]

When I was in elementary school, Boy George was populsr so I was aware of CD's, in fact, I was glad, I thought "Alright there are TWO of us!"

When I got hardcore into TG life, I had made a few friends pretty quick so I never had much struggle.

As a child of the 80's, I was around when things were a little more developed...

[Mirani]

I thought I was possessed by evil spirits. Sick. Ashamed. At times, suicidal.
I never knew I was actually "normal". . . .

[madison lee]

I know that feeling all too well!

[PaulaJaneThomas]

In the old days we actually had to go out of the house and meet people. I can understand that might come as a shock to many here so feel free to sit down have a few :drink::drink::drink: and re-compose yourselves :D Things just took a lot longer in those days but it was possible to find out places to go and get out and socialise with other TGs in the eighties, when I first started going out in public, and had been for decades before that too.

[Rachel05]

Yes I thought I was weird, thought I must be one strange guy, didn't have a clue that there was as many cross dressers as there seems to be and that god forbid we could talk about it openly like we do here. This site has made me realise that there is actually nothing we can't discuss about cross dressing and other issues.

[MissConstrued]

I never felt there was anything wrong with me; just that I was a bit strange. But I've always been strange relative to my peers, and in a number of ways.

There's nothing whatever wrong with being strange, of course. It just took a bit of getting older and growing up to realize that.

[Kate Simmons]

The coping I mostly did was being a fashion plate (that the world seemed to push) vs being a tomboy. This was a constant issue with the tomboy being out of and the fashion plate being inside the closet.:)

[Starr]

Before the web, i use to hit adult book stores and would find magazines on transvestite and crossdressing. So i knew there were others who were like me, however after the internet i saw just how many of us there are..

[Lorileah]

I have never been one to walk the path well trod. I get distracted easily so if there was something shiny. I would have to go and check it out. So even though I thought it was "odd" that I liked lacy feminine things and I liked short skirts, it was just a shiny object that I had to go see..

For the most part prior to the internet, I was busy building what I thought I should be building. A reputation and respect in the community by doing the best job I could for my clients. Dressing was low priority like many things then. It wasn't going anywhere so I wasn't concerned about it. Just like my looks and health. It was there and I would get to it later. I went through the usual things, was I gay? Was I transsexual? Was I a pervert? Fairly easy to answer. No no no. (ok I am a little off sexually but nothing illegal). I was lucky that my epiphany came in college. After taking a psychology class on sexuality and having the professor explain that "normal" is a very narrow band, I knew I would be OK. Never looked back. Then can the internet where Lori could be free in cyberspace, then there were a whole new set of lessons to be learned.

I was very lucky that I attracted people who were open minded on most issues. Ok maybe not luck but I chose my friends well. They saw me as me and I saw them as my eccentric group of friends who accepted me no matter what. Life was good for a long time. What bites is now and getting old. All those things I put off to build a reputation and career? Bupkus. I was the one who didn't see the forest as they say.

[jayme357]

Growing up (a very long time ago) I never recall feeling shame but rather a great deal of curiosity. As a result I accessed the only source of information I knew of, the public library. Whenever I traveled that was the first place I would visit. Unfortunately there was very little helpful information available so I continued to wonder but never stopped enjoying. At least I learned how to use the library!

Now, thank goodness for the web. I'm as curious as ever, but I have ample opportunity to satisfy that need.

[Toni_Lynn]

OOOOH! I got real good at coping as teenager.

When my mum first found out, it was because had hidden my clothes between the mattress and box springs of my bed. Madison, my dear girl, she was as sensitive your dad it would seem. The stories of my abuse are told elsewher here. And in spite her attempts to use religion against me, I turned more and more to the comfort of God, knowing that there wa snothing wrong with me. I won't dwell on that topic though as I do not wish to force my faith on anyone.

I then turned to hiding my panties and bras and makeup in the speakers of my stereo. These clothes were newly purchased to replace the ones she made me burn. Again I got caught.

This was repeated several times.

I kept ads and articles from Seventeen magaizne stuck inthe jackets of record albums

Then I turned 16 and had a car. I stashed my clothes in two little hatches the back that where access covers for the tail lights. I also hid stuff inside the back seat, and under the spare. She discovered all of these.

So then I got even smarter. I was working at the mall, and so, I used a storage locker there, One quarter into the slot every day -- 24 hour access. She never found that, but after 3 months mall security did!

I also bought panties, well, what I call androgynous panties (which I think is a great name for a CD rock group) and wuld buy men's bikini breifs andrip the tags out of teh men's briefs and sew then into the panties. That worked liek a charm!

Through it all, though I held tight to the knowledge that I was normal. In fact, in so many ways, I was exactly what she wanted in a son -- went to church, was good, wasn't sexually active (hell, I was a virgin until 27!). The only place I was a let down was school, because I gave up there -- I did not want to be like my peers at college (I went to a local college and lived at home) who went out drinking a causing trouble on the weekend. Just like Janis Ian in the song 'At Seventeen', I invented lovers on the phone, said I was going to school events etc, but ended up spending my nights in the movie theatre at the mall!

In a way, I'm glad that the internet didn't exist then. I was able to work it all out by believing in myself. So much of what I see on the 'net about CDing is, well, quite frankly, obscene. That would have scared me and further confused me.

All in all, I think I coped well. I survived. I have a wonderful wife who loves me a CDer, I have a job as a computer programmer with one of the biggest banks in the USA (even though I don't have a college degree!), and I'm happy. That's all that matters

Now if only I could become a Canadian, all my dreams would be fulfilled!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Miranda09]

For years (decades) I kept these feelings sequestered away so no one ever knew...at least I think no one ever knew. Anyway, by burying these feelings for years, letting them out only on ocassion, I finally decided to explore full bore earlier this year, and having the internet and this forum has been a great source of relief and support. It gave me confidence to devlope more and to come out to a very good gg friend of mine. Now I don't consider my CDing a wierd personality trait, but an important part of my personality. :) Now as far as stories of parents intentionally embarassing their sons when their CDing was discovered, they might have good intentions, BUT that doesn't excuse that kind of behavior. All that does is put a wall between the parent and the child. Sometimes I think it's to reassure assure the parents of their own sexuality rather than to try and understand that of their children. Since I'm not a parent I can't speak from experience, only from the experiences I had as a child, which didn't include that sort of treatment and humiliation to prove a point.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

How did I cope with life regarding crossdressing before the internet? It was horrible!:thumbsdn: I had lots of confusion in my life, I suffered from shame and guilt. Thank goodness everything been cleared up as of now and all is well, good times:thumbsup:

[Tasha McIntyre]

Like a lot of posts here, I didn't cope particularly well, but it didn't become an overwhelming burden. I knew I was the only boy in the history of the world to be like this - but that's just the way it was.

The booming WWW in the early 90's didn't really do much to help either as most of the CD related content was gutter smut. At least I knew we were many, but it didn't really help with dealing with it.

Things were still pretty dark until I stumbled upon this site in August last year......suddenly the lights came on and my eyes were opened. I lurked for a few weeks and then opened an account, CD life has never been so good. I am pissed off that I didn't find this place earlier, but thankful I got here when I did.

I've come a long way in the last few months.

Tash :)

[Patty-Fay]

I always felt I was a bit weird, but didn't let that stop me. My biggest issue, pre-internet, was my shyness at buying stuff. That's the real God-send for me - very easy to buy, and (most importantly) getting the right SIZES - a challenge for anyone close to (or over) 6 feet.

[Danielle Gee]

Before the web, i use to hit adult book stores and would find magazines on transvestite and crossdressing. So i knew there were others who were like me, however after the internet i saw just how many of us there are..


My story is similar to Starrs except I was lucky enough to have a friend in my neighborhood who also crossdressed......We spent hours at each others house trying on our sisters clothes. I hesitate to use the word innocent, but that what it was!

I lost track of him after HS graduation, but there were rumors he moved to Philly and was a gay prostitute ( I never knew for sure, but his mother never mentioned his name to me again)

Believe it or not, I've only been using the internet for five or six years...So for many years, I'd go to the town news stand to buy a copy of "Penthouse Forum".....Every month I pray that there would be at least one letter concerning CD,ing...Wow I'll never forget the "Warm & Fuzzy" feeling whan one was printed.

I outed myself fairly early to my wife and she was reasonably accepting even before she fully understood it all. Myself I had no clue till I became computer literate the thousands of girls just like me:)

[docrobbysherry]

Weird:
I've ALWAYS been weird! Which has NOTHING to do with CDing!:)

Ignorant:
I dressed in a VACUUM for about 7 years. Before I found this site, less than 2 years ago! Back in my early days, I KNEW the only guys who wore ladies gear, were ALL GAY DRAG QUEENS! For many years, I was SURE I was one SICK PUPPY!:doh:

Lucky:
That I didn't get interested in dressing until I was 50. Soon after, the internet allowed me to learn THE TRUTH about CDs! If I had started CDing in my youth, (30+ years before the web), I'm fairly sure I would have been institutionalized LONG AGO!:eek:

[DanaR]

When I was growing up, I felt that societies perception of people that cross-dressed was pretty bad and horrible; I knew that I wasn’t bad and horrible. I also knew that what I did wasn’t something that I could share with anyone. I finally did tell my wife after we were married, but finding information on cross-dressers was virtually non-existent. So, now that we have the internet, there is a lot of good information available.

[Marisa_M]

before the WWW I to thought i was a freak alone in the world.


Same here! I had that same feeling of being the only freak alone in the world so the Internet radically changed my life.

:love:

[cd_jamie]

i remember when I was 15 my mother found my clothing stash. my dad didnt take a big fit but he did get rid of clothes.... I was more careful with my wardrobe after that.