Just wondering

[becca24]

Hi every1 i am new to the site im 24 and im just wonderign how you all do it...i just think i wont be socially accepted and im afraid of being ousted by all my friends. ive been crossdressing since i was about 10 and i love it.:) but i hide everything....so i did you all cope with it when you were my age??......im glad they have this site it lets me let my feelings out to people who understand

[TJ Tresa]

personaly at that age ai tried to repressit, kept telling myself it was wrong, that I was bad, you know if your friends find out they will make fun of you, those type of things went through my head every day. I'm sure when exactly I stoped trying to change and accepted who I am.
Now for you be real careful, embrace yourself as you are. But remember that most people have a hard time accepting things out of the "so-called" norm. Try and find someone who will accept it. Get a feel for how your family feels about CDing. You never know they might already know and haven't said anything in order to spare your feelings. In all likely hood your mom already knows if you have been doing this since you were ten.
In any event I wish you the best, Good luck, and always, always remember you have friends here. Hugs from TJ Tresa.

[becca24]

Thank you TJ i do feel like im weird and a freak but its who i am and i love it...thanx for the support:D

[Shikyo]

Your friends shouldn't do anything about it, if they are true friends. They should be able to accept you the way you are. Just live your life the way you want to live, not under some other peoples conditions, it's your life we're talking here not theirs. You don't go around telling them not to do things neither. At the most I they should ask you not to dress in front of them, but some of them, especially feminine ones, might be even willing to help you with your dressing.

Being young should give you more freedom doing what you want, you'll also have easier time to blend in as the testosterone hasn't still done everything it will do. The younger you are the easier it is to resemble a girl. Use that chance while you still can't, it won't be there forever. The longer you wait the longer it will take for you to start enjoying your dressing. Worrying about what others think about it is not important as you won't be able to change their opinion.

By joining this community, you'll find lots more friends. Maybe not in real life but at least we can be here to support your through hard times and make your life a lot more enjoyable.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Hi every1 i am new to the site im 24 and im just wonderign how you all do it...i just think i wont be socially accepted and im afraid of being ousted by all my friends. ive been crossdressing since i was about 10 and i love it.:) but i hide everything....so i did you all cope with it when you were my age??......im glad they have this site it lets me let my feelings out to people who understand

Hi Becca, welcome to the forum. :)

Sadly, at your age I was still filled with self-hatred and in complete denial about who and what I am. It was not until many years later that I really began to figure myself out, that I do not have some terrible condition, and that I do in fact have a beautiful gift.

I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me. The thing I most regret now is not coming out to my wife sooner and not living and celebrating my life much, much sooner. I wasted too many years in self-denial, being miserable, and hating myself. How I wish I could have those years back!

About social acceptance, we've got a long way to go in terms of gaining it from society as a whole. Keep in mind though, that you are already well accepted by all of us here, AND will probably also be accepted by the true friends you have in your life... if/when you feel ready to share this. Of course, be cautious if you do share with people, for obvious reasons.

We'll have our respect in society some day, Becca. It will take some time, but we'll get there. :)

[becca24]

thanx all when i get up the courage ill take the next step and post some pictures....thanx for the encouragement

[flic]

I'm around your age hun and i can identify with all you say. It's a long road to self acceptance for some, not so much for others. The only advice i could really give, is to make sure you're absolutely comfortable with who you are, and that you love yourself for it. That way, if you decide you need to tell your friends, that will carry across and they too (fingers crossed!) will feel more comfortable with it. I may be wrong, just what i think!
flic xxx

[becca24]

thank you flic you look gorgeous in your picture

[flic]

aww bless you hun, thank you so much!!! not sure about gorgeous though, but it's lovely of you to say. :o
flic xxx

[TGMarla]

Ha! I coped with it the same way you do: by hiding the fact and going through great pains to make sure no one found out! Heck, I still do. Social acceptance? Not likely. I know we'd all like to change the social perception of crossdressers, but like it or not, we're still considered some kind of laughable joke to the rest of the world.

[LisaM]

I wish that I had come out more when I was your age instead I tried to 'purge'. It never goes away. So I would have been better off if I was more open about it although it would have been difficult admitting how much I wanted to be a woman.

[Angie G]

I hid it for almost 50 years Becca just 3 years ago I told my wife and she is still the only one that knows. And it opened a lot of dressing time for me. And I'm a happier girl now.:hugs:
Angie

[Chari]

Welcome here Becca, to this very friendly forum. Great advice in the previous posts! You are not "weird & a freak", but are trying to discover where you will be comfortable in life. Most of us have gone/are going through the same situations as you. At your age, many here were confused as to gender, but survived to enjoy all our facets and uniqueness. Continue to be comfortable and confident with who YOU are. Go slowly, be cautious as to whom you tell your secret, but enjoy both sides of you.

[Samantha Kelsey]

Put aside the way you think they'll think and give em a try. You may be suprised, if you're not surprised then at least you'll know (But they will too).

[Rachel05]

Becca you are not weird, I know how you feel because I used to feel all that stuff too, but recently I have accepted me and my cross dressing, my wife knows, she found out and confronted me but that's it, we have never spoken of it since, I have tried but she doesn't want to.

She must know I still do it and in fact all the more now because the deception has gone, I want to progress to a nice wig and some make up and I want to go out at some stage, but I don't feel wierd anymore at all, it is just a part of me that makes me me!

In my everyday life i love spport and all things "manly" love the gym and weights and I have a sensitive side too, my dressing is part of my life so I go with it and so enjoy it now, be patient and it will come and for goodness sake don't be too hard on you, it isn't a crime to dress in ladies clothes

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Becca, like some of the others I hide everything!!!! My wife knows but she is the only one. Co-workers, friends and other family are non the wiser and that's probably the way it's going to stay.

When I am all done up, no one would ever pick it's me, so I have the relative safety of anonymity whilst out and about.

BTW - you are not a freak. Look forward to seeing some pics.

Cheers

Tash :)

[Sweet Cindy]

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Looking back, I should've just embraced who I was, told everyone and let the chips fall where they may.

But I still wrestle with acceptance of myself to this day and live in the closet. Life happens pretty fast. Now it's too late to tell certain people without risking serious repercussions, so I've told no one.

Having said that, I wouldn't want to change anything for fear of never having the wonderful people I have in my life right now. But if I were to be giving out advice, I'd tell you the closet is a terrible place for a girl to spend her life.

[becca24]

thanx all can i say that the closet sucks...its hard for me cuz i am not that good at my makeup and i need more clothes...hehe....heres another lil secret of why its hard for me 2 come out....im in the military...:sad:

[Miranda09]

Hi Becca. I can relate to what you're saying. At your age I was totally in the closet and told no one. Rerally didn't feel the need to as I didn't really understand why I dressed, just that I enjoyed it. Now, tho my adventures out have been minimal, I dress all the time and just recognize it's part of who I am. I have come out to 1 gg friend who has been very supportive. Just take your time with people and make sure that to whom ever you disclose this side of you, that you can trust them with that information. And, don't forget, you have an entire community here that supports you. Have fun. :)

[Ralph]

Welcome to the group, Becca! I spent a decade feeling like a freak (long before the internet was available to find friends and do research), thinking I was gay, etc. until I finally came to peace with myself. I didn't admit it out loud until I was about to get married, right about your age, and by then I knew it wasn't just a passing phase that I could put behind me. I told my fiancee that the pictures of me in a dress weren't just for halloween and it wasn't something I could stop, and although she's not thrilled about it and prefers not to talk about it, she doesn't care what I wear around the house. She probably also wouldn't care what I wear outside, either, since I'm the one who would have to deal with the fallout.

Which brings me to my next point, going out. Folks around here love to talk about "taking the next step", but don't let them push you into anything you are not ready for. THERE IS NO SHAME IN THE CLOSET. If just dressing up at home is all it takes to make you feel fulfilled, you're perfectly free to stay at home and nobody should judge you the worse for it. Going out costs a LOT in terms of your relationship with friends, neighbors, family, coworkers, etc. so you have to weigh whatever benefit there may be to going out, against any potential broken relationships that may result from going out.

Obviously if you WANT go go out you're equally free to do that! I'm just saying, let the decision be yours and not peer pressure.

[MissConstrued]

Wail, sonny, when Ah wuz yer age... I was in the closet, too. It took a few more years before my GiveAShit broke. If, or when, yours breaks, you'll know it. That's when you start living your life on your own terms, rather than everyone else's. That'll be a bit hard in the military, so maybe keep that GiveAShit in good repair til you're out. :)

Being in your mid-20's, social acceptance should pose little problem. I know I got a lot more of it than I ever dreamed possible. I was at a wedding last weekend (pagan handfasting to be precise)... several gals expressed disappointment that I didn't wear a dress. :daydreaming:

But I'm with Ralph. Don't let anyone push you into something you don't want to do. There is no "next step." There's only you, living at your comfort level.

[becca24]

i just wish i could go out and be free do you know what i mean...just put ym makeup on throw on a dress and do mynails and enjoy but i cant not at the risk of losin my friends

[MissConstrued]

but i cant not at the risk of losin my friends


Straight talk here: if your friends ditch you, they're not your friends to begin with. Friends are supposed to be people who take you as you are, not how they want you to be.

[RylieCD]

Self/Social Acceptance can be difficult. and being stuck in the closet can also be hard. Becca, I am also still "in the closet" and trying to accept myself. I think I know who I am but dont think others would accept me. Yes with the feelings we have we would like to throw on the dress/skirt maybe makeup and go out but I know when that happens I then feel comfortable in the clothes/body but trapped in the closet. maybe one day the self/social acceptance will widen a little further. BABY STEPS.

[tricia_uktv]

Becca,

Then isn't the answer to do it away from your friends so you can build up the confidence and the experience? Can you get to an accepting place near where you are based, in a hotel, practice, then get out and have fun.

Is that do-able?


Hugs and good luck,

[Laura_Stephens]

It took me decades - literally - to accept myself. Wish it could have happened far sooner.

[Kathi Lake]

thanx all can i say that the closet sucks...its hard for me cuz i am not that good at my makeup and i need more clothes...hehe....heres another lil secret of why its hard for me 2 come out....im in the military...:sad:In the military, you say?! Why, that's, . . that's, . . . perfectly normal. As one military member to another, let me offer up a salute to your newfound girliness (at least on this site). As you'll find, there are many members of the military on this site - Active, Reserve and Retired. We're happy to make your acquaintance.

Kathi

[becca24]

thanx kathi i just want to be happy and this site is definitly i step in a good direction....love ya girls

[becca24]

i just wanna thank all of you for the support love ya girls

[boy2girl31]

I know how you feel I am in the army reserves and you can't dres there unless you want to be kicked out. The thing is is that you have to try to find ppl who support you find the one person you trust the most and ask them some "retorical" questions and see how they feel. You never know. I am 8 yrs older than you and have found that a lot of the younger ppl have more understanding than you think.