The Domino Effect of Outing Yourself

[Kathi Lake]

Gee, it started out so innocently, too.

One day, my admin had just had her nails done with French tips. She went to scratch her nose and gouged it a bit. Without thinking (my normal mode of operations) I said that one time after I had had my nails done that I had almost poked my eye out trying to scratch my nose. After about 30 seconds of her chewing this over (she's not the fastest, but she sure is decorative! :)), she said "Wait, you've had acrylic nails? Like a girl?" When she said that, I realized what I had said and knew it was time to get out my tap shoes. I spun a story of a Halloween costume, courtesy of a friend who was both a cosmetologist and insane, and all of the prep work that she put me through (eyebrows, acrylic nails, waxing, makeup, wig, clothes, etc.). Well, she seemed fascinated, so I kept on going, piling on detail after detail. Sigh.

She then asked if I had any pictures. I paused, and she gave me that knowing smile and said "I knew it. You do have pictures. I wanna see!" To get her off my back, I promised to show her. It took a few days, but I finally brought them in on my iPhone. I used these pictures here:


http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=83773&d=1236665838 http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=87634&d=1241217275

I meant to just hold my phone and show her the first one, but she grabbed the phone and flipped through all the other pictures I had there, including the picture to the right. I told her that there were so many pictures in so many different outfits because my friend, the evil cosmetologist, wanted to try out different outfits to see which I looked the prettiest in. As I mentioned, she's not that bright, so I think she bought it.

Anyway, I promised her to secrecy. It worked out great, for awhile. Since she knows I'm in the military, she has always called me GI Joe. After that, she started calling me GI Jane or Girlfriend or other names. She had a friend with her at the reception desk one day as I came in from lunch. She called out "Hey pretty woman!" and her friend asked her why she called me that. She looked at me, I thought about it, and gave her the nod (I couldn't stop myself - her friend is incredibly cute!). When her friend saw the pictures, she couldn't believe it was me, said my legs would drive any man insane and said that I made an incredible woman. I told her all the things my friend did to me for the costume, thanked her for her compliments, and said that dressing up as a woman for Halloween seemed to be one of those "squares to be checked" by every man, and boy, was mine ever checked!

So, I was up to two women at work now. Not too bad, I guess. :doh:

Lately, it seems that women are coming out of the woodwork here to see my pictures. I'm thinking of just posting them in the break room. I told my admin that she might as well just e-mail them to the entire company. :)

A lot of them are bringing up this Halloween, hoping that I will do it again - many offering their help, their clothes, etc. I'm seriously considering it. One one hand, I would LOVE to click around our beautiful tile floors in my heels. On the other hand, would I be able to live it down? I've told my admin that I feel a bit self-conscious about the pictures. When she asked why, I showed her the pictures again and said "Think about it. If you were a guy and looked like this in a dress - if everyone told you what a beautiful woman you were and how pretty you are, wouldn't you be a bit self conscious?" She agreed, and then said, "But you are a pretty woman! Why feel bad about that?" Good point, I guess.

I guess we'll see what happens from here.

Kathi

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Just go for it, Kathi. Honestly, once you've told one person, potentially the whole world knows. What's that old sexist saying? "Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman." And you are gorgeous.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[savvy_fudge]

Interesting story and great pics. I'd say that you probably could, but that's from a Cdn army standpoint. I know a bunch of guys have done it for Hallowe'en, but it was more as a joke than anything. Remember you can always say the girls dragged you into it.

Hugs Savannah.

[cjflgirl]

wish I could do that unfortnately I work in a business that is paramilitary and that wouldn't work. I have been thinking about coming out and possibly transgendering not sure if I would lose my job because of that. It is very hard to think that as I love my job and not knowing what my friends and family think. I worry how my family would deal with it my father already knows as he found some old files on my old laptop I gave him(need to be careful thought disk drive was wiped clean) He has not said anything but made a comment about the files one day. Not sure if my grandfather could handle it he very old and frail he is the one I worry the most about.

[JaytoJillian]

I'd tread cautiously. You are the one with everything to lose, not the ladies on your jobsite.

[Deidra Cowen]

Cool story I enjoyed hearing about it...that would be fun to be able to tell folks at work!

[Sara Jessica]

Such a good read Kathi, watching those dominos fall like that. Looking forward to Halloween for the next chapter!!!

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I spun a story of a Halloween costume, courtesy of a friend who was both a cosmetologist and insane, and all of the prep work that she put me through (eyebrows, acrylic nails, waxing, makeup, wig, clothes, etc.). Well, she seemed fascinated, so I kept on going, piling on detail after detail. Sigh.

Sigh, I'm just going to have to say that the less plausible the story, the worse it is when the truth comes out. You'd probably have been better off to come clean.


I told her that there were so many pictures in so many different outfits because my friend, the evil cosmetologist, wanted to try out different outfits to see which I looked the prettiest in. As I mentioned, she's not that bright, so I think she bought it.

Might have worked on her, but probably not on others.



Anyway, I promised her to secrecy. It worked out great, for awhile.

Secrets are hard to keep. :-)



I told her all the things my friend did to me for the costume, thanked her for her compliments, and said that dressing up as a woman for Halloween seemed to be one of those "squares to be checked" by every man, and boy, was mine ever checked!

Do you know the worst thing a closeted TG person can do on Halloween? Dress in regular women's clothes on Halloween and NOT in a women's costume, and do it well. Why is that bad? Because it attracts more attention and gets remembered



Lately, it seems that women are coming out of the woodwork here to see my pictures.

Yep, some women are fascinated by the ability of a born male person to crossdress and do it well. They imagine "stubbly dude in an ugly dress and shoes with a bad wig and makeup" and then when they see pictures like those they find it interesting. So if anyone ever asks me about that one Halloween and if I ever dressed like a woman again, I'd come clean, because I'll have to eventually...I hope.



A lot of them are bringing up this Halloween, hoping that I will do it again - many offering their help, their clothes, etc. I'm seriously considering it.

Personally, I wouldn't. You and I both know you don't need their help, so if you do it without asking for assistance they might get an idea that you know what you know, unless you use the "cosmetologist friend" story again. And if they see you in the flesh, moving, walking in those heels, primped and polished and being very comfortable with it, some of the more aware ones might guess. And they'd know that you had lied before.



I've told my admin that I feel a bit self-conscious about the pictures........She agreed, and then said, "But you are a pretty woman! Why feel bad about that?" Good point, I guess.

I guess we'll see what happens from here.

Kathi

Again, I think you should come clean to the admin, at least. I know "This Thing of Ours of Varying Kinds" can be troublesome in such situations, but lying isn't good.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[TGMarla]

Opportunity knocks, but remember....you're not a circus act or a sideshow for everyone's amusement. Are they wondering on this just for the novelty of seeing someone they know in drag? And this is at work. They say that animals don't poop where they eat. That may be good advice.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Sounds like you female co-workers are behaving like sisters dressing up their bother in pretty clothes just to see how he looks. A lot of the reaction you are getting is just normal curiosity all that line. Do read anything into it.

[Miranda09]

Talk about the domino effect. Hey, just go with it and bask in the attention. You know, pics ALWAYS do it as everyone wants to see! :)

[Starr]

Sounds like a fun time to me..

[Kathi Lake]

Again, I think you should come clean to the admin, at least. I know "This Thing of Ours of Varying Kinds" can be troublesome in such situations, but lying isn't good.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.Yes, I know (hangs head in shame). :)

I'm sure I will, I have just been so used to tap-dancing all of my life that the truth just seems a bit harder. At least I don't have to tap dance to my wife anymore.

Kathi

[tricia_uktv]

Better out than in, but make sure your HR department are aware. Life is fun!

[catriona36]

make her a deal... tin out and do a cancer collection at the same time.. make it a work event so that way you will not be the only one ;)

[Shelby]

I once did the same thing at a job, showed some coworkers a few pics from a show I did and of course told them that this was only done for entertainment purposes. Luckily, no one ever said anything more about it after that.

I think you should tell your admin the truth, but understand how hard it will be to do so. I would wait for the opportunity to mention it though. Are there any men working in this place? What do they think, know or say if all the women around there know?

[nancyish]

Dear Kathi you are just that,one of us out there,representing a lot of us who are shy,afraid ,hiding or in denial.I would never judge you 4 how hard a thing you are trying to do or intimidate you by pretending to be more confident in how I would handle your situation.I'm sure you represent us all and do us proud at that.Best of luck and always be yourself-What's Not To Love? Nancy

[RobertaM]

Wow,
You are one bold lady, my hat off to you, I totally understand where you are coming from. I too have been having a need to out myself. I have been thinking? Why do we do this? My conclusion, We are having so much joy and inner sole happiness being en femme that we want to share.

I hope you understand that the Pandora's box is opened in that you are "OUT" with all the positive and negative repercussions that brings. I so hope it works out for you, and i know it will.
Ciao Roberta

[Teri Jean]

Kathi,
I have been following your post in that I'm tied to the military through the Legion. Like yourself being an officer we are under more of the microscope than most. But the post of the domino effect and showing pictures is more like a frieght train on a steep grade. I wore a outfit to work last halloween and since then my cuteness is all over the campus. When one thinks about it I have touched at least 400 to 1200 employees. The clerical, who took pictures made sure they were circulated and it has been interesting. I was dressed as a wench but may this year a call-girl? Have fun but be safe.

Keli

[jennifer easton]

Geeeeze you are a gorges woman,the curve thing is what makes you and of cores your hair, your legs,you are just one big girly package I hate you, NOT!!!

[Kathi Lake]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I too have been having a need to out myself. I have been thinking? Why do we do this? My conclusion, We are having so much joy and inner sole happiness being en femme that we want to share.

I hope you understand that the Pandora's box is opened in that you are "OUT" with all the positive and negative repercussions that brings. I so hope it works out for you, and i know it will.
Ciao RobertaThanks Roberta. You've described it perfectly. A need. It is almost a need. I want other women to know who I am. I've probably gone about it the wrong way with the Halloween story, but it's what I started with, and until I have the stones to come out fully, that's what it will be.


Are there any men working in this place? What do they think, know or say if all the women around there know?We have about 140 people here - about half and half. So far, one man knows, but the admin also calls him "Metro" and "Girlfriend" as well - I'm not sure why. Maybe I need to investigate that story further. The three of us went to lunch today, and my admin said that we were having a "girls-only" lunch (the admin, Metro and myself).


make her a deal... tin out and do a cancer collection at the same time.. make it a work event so that way you will not be the only one ;)Hmmmm. Interesting. That might just fly. I'll think abut that. I have heard about events like that, "Cancer is a Drag" dressup days and the like. Thanks!


Geeeeze you are a gorges woman,the curve thing is what makes you and of cores your hair, your legs,you are just one big girly package I hate you, NOT!!!Ummmm, thanks. As I jokingly say, I think God gave me this body as a joke, but so far, I'm laughing along with - and loving it.

Kathi

[Nicole Erin]

Hmm, well, couple things -
Are you getting your DD-214's anytime soon? I don't remember if you said you were about out or not. If not, how bad would things get if your unit knew of Kathi? I just hopw nothing bad comes of it.

About being out and the stories of "halloween" or "playing dress up by other femmes" - Well, when we watch an expert do work, we know he or she IS an expert by the way they seem to do even complicated things flawlessly. As someone said - if you are there, carrying yourself as a woman, not clunking about, not acting like it is a big joke or acting nervous, they wil know you are an expert in the field of self-feminization. Experts cannot really hide their true skills.

I don't know though, that whole military thing would just worry me. I was in several years ago, low rank enlisted, and before I was hardcore TG. I think it is a lot of stress being government property.

[Alessandra]

In a way i believe that that would be a great opportunity that i would love to have but in a way it does put you in a difficult situation as you said.

[Kathi Lake]

Hmm, well, couple things -
Are you getting your DD-214's anytime soon? I don't remember if you said you were about out or not. If not, how bad would things get if your unit knew of Kathi? I just hope nothing bad comes of it.

. . . As someone said - if you are there, carrying yourself as a woman, not clunking about, not acting like it is a big joke or acting nervous, they wil know you are an expert in the field of self-feminization. Experts cannot really hide their true skills.Nope. Just gave them another four years last month, so still government property. :) You are right, I would have to do a really bad job on my makeup and walk really badly in my heels to pull it off (or not pull it off, I guess), and I don't know if my feminine pride would let me do that. If not, my presentation and comfort as a woman might indeed just tip them off. Sigh. Decisions, decisions.

Kathi

[carolinewalker_2000]

Kathi,

I do understand you dilema vis a vis the military, but.....if you have supportive colleagues and you don't go over the top; what an opportunity!!

Does the US military have Halloween parties the way the rest of the States seem to?

[Sophie_C]

Look, I say just OWN it. Do not apologize for it, whatsoever, but remind people of your situation and to keep things "a little hush" (like a secret you ALL share). It seems like you're really becoming a favorite of the office! ;)

This reminds me of recently at my city's pride parade how the ladies were all cheering on and even complementing the TVs/CDs, and how much progress really has happened. I'm not sure if I'm up for being out of the closet yet, but thank God it's becoming a lot less scary than it used to be.

[Sally2005]

There is no better cover story than having the office full of girls help you dress up for halloween. If anyone says anything just say you did it for them since they seemed to really want to do it. Everyone will tease you a little about it for years afterwards, but if you ride with it, it can be fun and people will respect your courage. If anyone asks why you did something, just tell them they gave you the idea... On the day, just walk a bit like a lumberjack and use your male voice and laugh at any comments like you make a good girl etc etc... if adventurous, tell some of the girls doing halloween with them was fun and you wondered how passable you could be around unsuspecting people..see if any bite and offer to bring you out sometime as an experiment.

[carolinewalker_2000]

Good advice Sally; particularly the suggestion to lay a few trails for a possible follow up.

[PretzelGirl]

Nope. Just gave them another four years last month, so still government property. :) You are right, I would have to do a really bad job on my makeup and walk really badly in my heels to pull it off (or not pull it off, I guess), and I don't know if my feminine pride would let me do that. If not, my presentation and comfort as a woman might indeed just tip them off. Sigh. Decisions, decisions.

Kathi

If your feminine pride would handle it, I could do your make-up then you would look like a guy's first attempt! :D

Kidding on that, but do tread carefully Kathi. You are pretty aggressive with your dressing and it suits you well, but I would hate to see it mess with your work.

Best of luck! :hugs:

[Kathi Lake]

... if adventurous, tell some of the girls doing halloween with them was fun and you wondered how passable you could be around unsuspecting people..see if any bite and offer to bring you out sometime as an experiment.Ooooohh! I like the way you think, girl! Could be fun. Some of the ladies at work are very interesting. There's one who you can tell is a serious fun-loving man-eater. She got three things out of her last divorce - a Harley and double-D left and double-D right. :)


If your feminine pride would handle it, I could do your make-up then you would look like a guy's first attempt! :D

Kidding on that, but do tread carefully Kathi. You are pretty aggressive with your dressing and it suits you well, but I would hate to see it mess with your work.

Best of luck! :hugs:Awww, come on, Sue. I'm sure you do fine. Heck, I'm still pretty amateurish at this makeup thing as well. By the way, what do you mean by "agressive" with my dressing? Being out there? Frequency?

Kathi

[PretzelGirl]

Awww, come on, Sue. I'm sure you do fine. Heck, I'm still pretty amateurish at this makeup thing as well. By the way, what do you mean by "agressive" with my dressing? Being out there? Frequency?
Kathi

I am still like a kid with big, fat crayons when putting on make-up. Beginner extraordinaire!

Bad word choice, sorry. I meant more that you are not inhibited by those around you. You are very comfortable in your own skin.

[paulaN]

What does your wife think of you coming out? You are walking on very thin ice ya know. In fact it may be too late to turn back now. I wish you the best. Be careful with the choices you make today, you will have to live with the consequences tomorrow.

[Kathi Lake]

What does your wife think of you coming out? You are walking on very thin ice ya know. In fact it may be too late to turn back now. I wish you the best. Be careful with the choices you make today, you will have to live with the consequences tomorrow.Thanks Paula, I'm trying to think with my brain and not my gonads - a very difficult thing for a guy to do. :) On one hand, it would be nice to get it all out in the open, allowing me to be who I am. On the other hand, work relationships would probably never be the same. I am trying to let it all die down, but then see things like this on her Facebook account - a picture of me with the following caption:

[CharleneT]

I recently have been outing myself to a small group of vanilla friends.... a postOp TS friend of mine suggested that I be careful, because ".. once the genie is out of the bottle it can be hard to put her back...". Indeed. With the first person I told, I asked that she not spread it around for now ... she promptly informed 6 others. My TS friend had said it was a secret very few can keep and she appears to be right. Those that now know, that I didn't want right away seemed to have reacted positively, so no real downside ( other than I'll never tell that one woman a secret again in my life).

[JOJO44]

Gee, it started out so innocently, too.

One day, my admin had just had her nails done with French tips. She went to scratch her nose and gouged it a bit. Without thinking (my normal mode of operations) I said that one time after I had had my nails done that I had almost poked my eye out trying to scratch my nose. After about 30 seconds of her chewing this over (she's not the fastest, but she sure is decorative! :)), she said "Wait, you've had acrylic nails? Like a girl?" When she said that, I realized what I had said and knew it was time to get out my tap shoes. I spun a story of a Halloween costume, courtesy of a friend who was both a cosmetologist and insane, and all of the prep work that she put me through (eyebrows, acrylic nails, waxing, makeup, wig, clothes, etc.). Well, she seemed fascinated, so I kept on going, piling on detail after detail. Sigh.

She then asked if I had any pictures. I paused, and she gave me that knowing smile and said "I knew it. You do have pictures. I wanna see!" To get her off my back, I promised to show her. It took a few days, but I finally brought them in on my iPhone. I used these pictures here:


http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=83773&d=1236665838 http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=87634&d=1241217275

I meant to just hold my phone and show her the first one, but she grabbed the phone and flipped through all the other pictures I had there, including the picture to the right. I told her that there were so many pictures in so many different outfits because my friend, the evil cosmetologist, wanted to try out different outfits to see which I looked the prettiest in. As I mentioned, she's not that bright, so I think she bought it.

Anyway, I promised her to secrecy. It worked out great, for awhile. Since she knows I'm in the military, she has always called me GI Joe. After that, she started calling me GI Jane or Girlfriend or other names. She had a friend with her at the reception desk one day as I came in from lunch. She called out "Hey pretty woman!" and her friend asked her why she called me that. She looked at me, I thought about it, and gave her the nod (I couldn't stop myself - her friend is incredibly cute!). When her friend saw the pictures, she couldn't believe it was me, said my legs would drive any man insane and said that I made an incredible woman. I told her all the things my friend did to me for the costume, thanked her for her compliments, and said that dressing up as a woman for Halloween seemed to be one of those "squares to be checked" by every man, and boy, was mine ever checked!

So, I was up to two women at work now. Not too bad, I guess. :doh:

Lately, it seems that women are coming out of the woodwork here to see my pictures. I'm thinking of just posting them in the break room. I told my admin that she might as well just e-mail them to the entire company. :)

A lot of them are bringing up this Halloween, hoping that I will do it again - many offering their help, their clothes, etc. I'm seriously considering it. One one hand, I would LOVE to click around our beautiful tile floors in my heels. On the other hand, would I be able to live it down? I've told my admin that I feel a bit self-conscious about the pictures. When she asked why, I showed her the pictures again and said "Think about it. If you were a guy and looked like this in a dress - if everyone told you what a beautiful woman you were and how pretty you are, wouldn't you be a bit self conscious?" She agreed, and then said, "But you are a pretty woman! Why feel bad about that?" Good point, I guess.

I guess we'll see what happens from here.

Kathi

Please keep us posted! I hope whatever you decide, it works out well!

Love,
Jo

[JOJO44]

Kathi Lake


make her a deal... tin out and do a cancer collection at the same time.. make it a work event so that way you will not be the only one ;)

All the males in the company need to dress with the women helping them, then run and auction where the high bidder takes the "lady" out to dinner (or whatever).
This is possibly the best route that I see, but you are the "victim" here and you need to decide (in case it does not go away) what route you need to follow.
Love,
Jo

[Kathi Lake]

An interesting concept as well. That way, everybody gets to dress up (especially me :)) and everybody wins. Thanks!

Kathi

[Jessica Who]

Wow, Kathi, that's terrific. I'm glad that you shared this story, thanks. You certainly chose some great pictures to show, way to go girl :)

[daisygurl462]

Thanks for sharing the story! It sounds like something out of crossdressing fiction story! Who knows...maybe you'll make some really nice gal friends out this situation.

[Kathi Lake]

Thanks for sharing the story! It sounds like something out of crossdressing fiction story! Who knows...maybe you'll make some really nice gal friends out this situation.Thanks Jen, I sincerely hope that it has the type of ending of a crossdresser-fiction story. :) So far, all of the women who know (around 5-6) treat me pretty normally - if not better than before they knew. Not exactly the kind of ice-breaker that I'd normally choose, but, . . .

Kathi

[Lauren Richards]

Kathi,
I agree with your admin: "you are a pretty woman. Why feel bad about that?" It is still a while until Halloween, so you have plenty of time to consider the options. The closest I came to dressing at work was when I wore a long skirt and heels with my standard long-sleeve button down shirt one Halloween. Lots of folks ask me to go further the next year, but the company down-sized before that could occur. I think I miss the chance I would have had to come in fully enfemme more than the job, actually. Whatever you decide will be the best decision, so trust yourself and it will work out fine. Great photos.

Lauren

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi,
I agree with your admin: "you are a pretty woman. Why feel bad about that?" It is still a while until Halloween, so you have plenty of time to consider the options. The closest I came to dressing at work was when I wore a long skirt and heels with my standard long-sleeve button down shirt one Halloween. Lots of folks ask me to go further the next year, but the company down-sized before that could occur. I think I miss the chance I would have had to come in fully enfemme more than the job, actually. Whatever you decide will be the best decision, so trust yourself and it will work out fine. Great photos.

LaurenThanks Lauren! The more I think about it, the, uh, . . well, the more I think about it. :)

I obviously don't want to miss an opportunity, but don't want to have a bad experience either. I will trust myself, and continue to monitor the feelings of those around me. If it looks like a "Go' then it should be fun. I will let them do the work, though. That way, it won't be me showing up at work primped and pretty and looking like my pictures above and saying, "What? The makeup? Yeah, I did it myself. It wasn't that hard. Oh, the heels? Nah, it's not that hard to walk in them. Have I done this before? Golly gee, no. Hey, why are you looking at me that way?" :)

Kathi

[paulaN]

Kathi you are so stunning. I had to say that. Remember it only takes one to screw the whole thing up. Like one phone call to the army from some red neck hick. You know the kind. The kind that can not handle any deviation from there idea of normal. The same kind that puts people like us in the sick category. nuff said. Be careful!!!!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Laci6]

Two words, DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am actually VERY envious!!!! Enjoy!!!:daydreaming:

["Mary"]

Tread carefully. This could be great, but avoid being too much of a spectacle at work. I like the "everybody does it event" idea. good luck with this.

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi you are so stunning. I had to say that. Remember it only takes one to screw the whole thing up. Like one phone call to the army from some red neck hick. You know the kind. The kind that can not handle any deviation from there idea of normal. The same kind that puts people like us in the sick category. nuff said. Be careful!!!!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!Redneck hicks in Utah? Gee, that would never happen! :) Thanks Paula, I'll be careful.


Tread carefully. This could be great, but avoid being too much of a spectacle at work. I like the "everybody does it event" idea. good luck with this.Mary (like the new name, by the way), as I am pretty much a goofball anyway, I am usually a spectacle - though not usually in a dress.

Kathi

[Kathi Lake]

Wow, it seems that my admin has been quiet almost a whole month! It seems that she's getting excited about me going with them on their GNO (Girl's Night Out), and just had to tell someone else at work. I was walking by her desk Friday and she was chatting with a girl from Finance. I didn't know what about, but I heard the Finance girl say, "That's him?! Holy crap, he's pretty!" I startled them when I said, "Who are we talking about?" knowing full and well who she was talking about. Sigh. They both jumped, and the finance girl smiled at me and said, "Oh my gosh! You make a hot woman! Much hotter than me." Sadly, even though I have made small children scream and older ones throw up a little in their mouths, she was right. :)

I started another e-mail thread reminding her that this was supposed to be a secret, and that I get a bit self-conscious when this gets mentioned. Here is her response:

Gi Joe sorry to make ya feel self conscious… You really do look damn hot as a girl… I’m just amazed and of course jealous of the legs… We all rave about lot more than just you looking good as a girl… From how super sweet you are to how fun you are.. Would never mean to hurt your feel bads promise… All in fun I will delete your pic…
I guess we'll see how long this lasts. :)

Kathi

[JOJO44]

I'll say a prayer that all goes well.
Love,
Jo

[Crysten]

Kathi Kahi Kathi.....

You are either the bravest.....

Or the craziest.....

Person on this forum.

And I can't decide which :)

And those girls are right - you look great!!

Best of luck with coming out (or not) at work....

[Susan.]

I don't know how many pictures the admin saw, but she would have to be pretty dumb not to realize that there is something special about your pictures. You pose really well beside looking like a classy GG. Even on this site you are one of the few girls that has the complete package (well I don't know about the voice).

You will have to totally blow this out of the water one way or the other. Like you said your feminine side may not let you present yourself as merely a man in a dress. So this will totally out you or put most of it back in the bottle.

It is hard coming out in a conservative area, so it may be a life changing decision you make. If I looked as beautiful as you do I might consider outing myself. Remember, for every female that thinks you are beautiful there will be another co-worker who thinks you are a pervert or gay. You know the list.

Good luck Kathi!!

[Christina Horton]

Ok hun first off. I am out to all family friends and work. I drive truck and lots of my fellow truckers know. Friends in the Military know and are fine with it. I was a air force brat, Dad was in 442 squadron in Comox BC. So I know the probs you can have . Just think of the worst thing that could happen then don't worrie about it and go for it. Don't go half way go all out dress fab just your makeup done by the girls get a smoking hot dress like the first one( by the way you look assume, better then me.) Use your fem-voice and stay in fem-mode all day. Have fun and if someone asks why , just say "cuz I wanted to and I am having so much fun with (all) the girls pawing over me,next year you should try if you man enough." Don't keep up the line of "my crazy friend made me do it" just say you thought if would be fun and you were right. If they think you did toooooooo good of a job then that's fine, cuz (IF) you come out to every one , one day that won't shock them so much.

Last year was my first time out dressed and since then I have had my nails painted and when I picked up my truck from the shop and 9 at night dressed a night guard and my yard (whom used to drive for us) was there and saw me . long story short I was outed there and no one minded they just wanted to make sure I was not going to the customers dressed and I said no. So no prob.

I think you should do it (BUT) your the one that has to live with it for the rest of your life. But as one that is out at work I can say I have been surprised so many time at the way people react to my dressing and 99% of the time it's positive. So I say go for it after all It's Just HALLOWEN right?

Good luck and I hope you have fun what ever you decide. If you need to be inspired read some of my posted of my reunion(JUST CLICK THE LINK IN MY SINGNATURE) and about my mom and you will see how people can change and how some of my old class mate took my dressing and some were in the military too.

HUGGS Christina Horton!!!

[Sally2005]

Gossip in the workplace is a habbit worth breaking in any case, but also there is a women's network that you don't want to disrupt (sounds like she is a great person to ask to find out what's really going on in the office). Don't worry too much about word of your 'costume'...people think it is cool.

Just do it! It won't be anything to live down... if anything you will gain a lot of respect from the women and the guys will respect you being so connected with the women that you would allow them to have their way with you. And if you get any weird male macho comments you just say...good thing it is only one day... you have to respect the women who wear heels or long nails every day!

[catriona36]

jojo thats what i was thinking..
i losta great friend to that nasty cancer. a geat old drover man he was and a great friend indeed..

would call it "crossdress for cancer"
Kathi Lake just has to make the manager think it his own idea lol
we had a saying in the public service. if you want something done, make the boss think the idea is the bosses own idea ;)
the other way is.. set it up so a donation of $10 is to be collected from every one that dresses up and $20 from those who dont ;)
but then i would be happier paying the 20 no matter what :D

and John. thank you for the words at the time. i shall never forget.
a) dont pick your nose on horse back
b) dont ask your self if you can live without her.. ask if you can wake up next to her every morning and smile:daydreaming: we all miss you mate :evilbegon :(

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi Kathi Kathi.....

You are either the bravest.....

Or the craziest.....

Person on this forum.

And I can't decide which :)

And those girls are right - you look great!!

Best of luck with coming out (or not) at work....Crysten, I have always thought there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. I know where I sit on that spectrum, and try not to drool on myself too much. :)

What can I say? I've led a pretty charmed and happy life so far. What's the worst that can happen? (there's that stupidity again!) :)

Kathi

[boardpuppy]

You are one guttie LADY. Having been in the military, I understand and can see the problems and decisions you face and need to deal with. The girls are right, you are drop dead gorgeous.....hope this doesn't cause a problem with the girls at work. They may not say anything in public but still be jealous. Updates would be nice, especially when Holloween gets close.

Hugs,
Alice

[jessica millen]

wow kathi - just wow
sorry i cant add anything to the situation, as i'm self employed and so my only co-worker is me in drab.....
jessica :)

[Crysten]

Jessica be careful!! You may inadvertantly out yourself to yourself, then have to fire yourself!!! :eek:

[MichelleP]

I've been following your posts Kathi and I greatly admire your courage at work. I'm not there yet. I thought I was "there" earlier this year when I was clocked by a co-worker in Seattle. I've had the good fortune to not see that goon on the last several of my assignments so maybe I'm in the clear.

As for dressing on Halloween and going to work - I promised myself someday that I would have the courage to do that. I know the girls I work with would have a great time with it. Some of the others around a media production though Hmmm...

Michelle

[jessica millen]

Jessica be careful!! You may inadvertantly out yourself to yourself, then have to fire yourself!!! :eek:

thanks crysten. i must be v-e-r-y careful:)
jess

[Kathi Lake]

Jessica be careful!! You may inadvertantly out yourself to yourself, then have to fire yourself!!! :eek:Or, you could out yourself, realize the strengths you bring to the table and give yourself a raise. :)


I've been following your posts Kathi and I greatly admire your courage at work. I'm not there yet. I thought I was "there" earlier this year when I was clocked by a co-worker in Seattle. I've had the good fortune to not see that goon on the last several of my assignments so maybe I'm in the clear.I know. I still cringe when I think about that. It's sad that we have to share the planet with low-lifes such as that, isn't it?

Kathi

[jessica millen]

Or, you could out yourself, realize the strengths you bring to the table and give yourself a raise. :)

Kathi

lol.very true kathi. i may bring that up at the next 'bored' meeting!! :o
jess

[North Carolina CD]

that's funny, i've used the halloween excuse several times;) esp. when i get wigs...:)

[jayme357]

I guess you would call me a lifer. Well over 20 years, SF's and then some. What you are doing is really high risk if you plan to stay in the military. Having said all that - you go girl!!!! Recognize that you have essentially outed yourself and I am sure you know that. The genie ain't going back in the bottle. My sense is that you know that and have consciously accepted it. That converts to the highest order of bravery imaginable. Even though I have never had the privilege of meeting you I think I can relate to you on a level few others can. Hang in there, but don't ever think you can fool people, especially other woman.

You are my hero.

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi- I hope it does work out like one of those dream-stories for you! Keep us abreast!! :)Heh, heh! She said "abreast." Heh! :)


I guess you would call me a lifer. Well over 20 years, SF's and then some. What you are doing is really high risk if you plan to stay in the military. Having said all that - you go girl!!!! Recognize that you have essentially outed yourself and I am sure you know that. The genie ain't going back in the bottle. My sense is that you know that and have consciously accepted it. That converts to the highest order of bravery imaginable. Even though I have never had the privilege of meeting you I think I can relate to you on a level few others can. Hang in there, but don't ever think you can fool people, especially other woman.

You are my hero.I fully recognize that the genie isn't going back in the bottle - nor do I want her to. At this point in my life, I understand only too well that the clock isn't running backwards. It is, in fact, running pretty darn quickly in the other direction. If I am going to live - not sort of live, not live just a little bit, but live - then I have to do what I have to do.

Yes, I am trying to keep it kind of quiet. Telling a woman whose (no offense to the ladies out there) bra size is bigger than her IQ about my "secret" may not have been my brightest idea to date. On the fooling issue, you're absolutely right. Once she saw the pictures, and once every other woman has seen the pictures, I do get the sense from them that they definitely know that there is something different about me - the way I look and carry myself as a woman is not that of a guy in a Halloween costume. So, I will take life as it comes to me. Some call that bravery - some call it stupidity. I call it happiness.

Kathi

[JOJO44]

Kathi- I hope it does work out like one of those dream-stories for you! Keep us abreast!! :)

Ooooooo, there's that word!!

I see that Kathi caught it first, but then, if we can't have fun, then why do it?

Kathi, you still have lots of time to make a decision. Don't let anyone, not even your friends here, push you in any direction that you don't want to go. Take care.
:love: and :hugs:
Jo

[Crysten]

Kathi - hmmm. You have not kept us "abreast".

Dang. I want to be abreast.

[Christina Horton]

Deep down in my bosom I want you to keep us a-breast!!! I am tickled pink to think of it. As seen by my Reunion dress!!!

[JoannaCaroline]

For what it's worth. I've been to halloween parties where military members were crossdressed. The one that is most memorable was a Navy Captain who was the commanding officer. He didn't look half bad.

[Crysten]

Kath.....I"ve been waiting patiently......


I'm still not abreast. :sad:

Boob maybe. But not abreast. :)

[Jinny M]

Hi Kathi .

I got dressed to the 9's for a off post halloween party and to go to a club who was also having one. I lived on post with my 1st wife , who would not have approved of Jinny , but it was for Halloween so she didn't care.

I stopped into the barracks , checked in a the CQ desk and then up through the company halls to visit the boys , then over to Brigade HQ , to visit my Squad leader who was on duty that night.

I didn't get hassled at all , only thing that was said was man you've got big B**ls .


Especially with the don't ask , don't tell policy , I wouldn't worry. Your doing it for Halloween , many a man dresses as a women for it.

I also have followed alot for your posts , you seem like a great person. You look Absolutly Stunning 120% passable . If I could look half as good as you as a women ,, I'd be doing it almost 24/7 .

If I was you, I would do it for Halloween at work ,, The women want to see you do it. I would tell them you were going to ask your friend who helped you the 1st time , help you again . So you could just show up as you. Although it could be fun letting the girls at work help too.

Only you know whats the best to do.

Have Fun , Be yourself and enjoy the moment.

Jinny

[Speck]

You look fantastic! I don't think it matters much that the women in the office know anything about you. What matters is that you know that you are beautiful.

I think you must be just bursting to tell the whole world but the whole world just isn't ready for you.

[Kathi Lake]

Tipyish, it does feel that way sometimes. I feel like I'm in my little cage, and want so much to get out, but can't. I would love for the world to allow me to be who I am, but neither it nor I am ready yet. Sigh.

By the way, Weave, did you hear that? I think it was a collective groan. :)

Kathi

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I feel like I'm in my little cage, and want so much to get out, but can't. I would love for the world to allow me to be who I am, but neither it nor I am ready yet. Sigh.i

You probably put a lot of of hard graft into helping the world construct that cage. But do really want to spend the rest of your life just sitting there admiring your handy-work?

[Speck]

Kathy,

Maybe your need to share isn't necessarily someone else's need to know. And you run the risk that they may not treat the information respectfully.

You've got me wondering though, maybe you just want to bring your authentic self to the work place and I can relate to that. As a genetic woman, I feel I have to act like a man at work in order to be successful and that doesn't feel authentic. Thanks to many women before me, it's getting better. Maybe some day in my life time it will get better for those who are transgendered but when I think of my workplace specifically, I don't think I'll live to see that day.

Btw, I think you are very pretty and well put together.

Cheers,

[Kathi Lake]

I think that's exactly it.

As a GG, you'll understand. Some days you just want to get dressed. Some days you want to wear a dress - whether you're feeling extra-feminine, want to feel better about yourself, or even no reason at all. I would also like to have that option. On days where I feel like wearing a dress, I wear a dress. Sadly, it's not to be for the time being - whether through cowardice or not wanting my family to bear the brunt of my "strangeness."

For the most part, I don't want to do this every day. Although I'm not a girl, I've done this long enough that I know how much goes into it - the hair, the makeup, the outfit-choosing. Some days I may want to spend this effort, most days (I am a guy, of course, and basically lazy :)) I don't. As I've said before in these forums, if I had to do it every day, I think it would lose its magic. I would have to do it. This way, I get to do it - big difference, to me.

Thank you so much for the compliments. I know many of us here work extra hard on our presentation. I know my fashion-sense certainly has helped my wife.

Kathi

[Sammy777]

After reading all this - here are some things to consider.

1] Having any sort of guys in drag day at work is a bad idea.
Why? Well there will be you [the undercover pro] looking good surrounded by guys in beards and ugly dresses.
Granted a few with the help of their Wifes/GF's/ect might not look half bad, but again you will deff be a stand out that day.

2] Halloween - well like it or not, it sounds like the choice has already been made for you.
Basically with the number of girls in the know and probably more by then you will be upsetting the apple cart if you don't do it.

2a] You do have a choice in one part of it.
To keep up the "halloween story" or open up that closet door a bit more. If you want to still keep downplaying it remember this. Be sure you use the same wig and shoes in those pics, lol. More then one of either will be another tell tale sign of more going on then a past one time thing.

3] While it is nice of the girls to offer, you always have your wife to fall back on as the one who did you up.
So just feel free to show up all done up.

3a] Maybe instead of the "dressed as a women" "costume" you can go the extra distance and pick out a female costume, might as well go whole hog right?

4] As far as the first girl you told.... You say she isnt the brightest bulb in the box, but you do have to give her credit for one thing. It seems that she is only informing other girls who are like minded or receptive to it.

5] To act or not to act that is question....
Be yourself, your inner self. Remember you have done this "once" before so you have your sea-legs. Don't play it down or dumb it up, they will probably be able to see through that even faster. lol.
If for nothing else you can always slip out a "I dusted off those heels and have been practicing" into the next conversation.

6] Face it - they may not know the whole story, but those girls know something is up, as of writing this thread you are/were basically out at work to some degree.
I would try not come out any more at work [at least before halloween] but I would try to step away from adding on to the crazy friend story. Let it go because if you want to come out more, keeping that story up is going to bite you in the ass later on.

7] Once everyone else gets to see you [halloween] you can always fill in the core group of just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

7a] Again - Do not underestimate that girl! Having friends like her doing the legwork for you is a good thing. She has a handle on who will be cool with it and it saves you from having to do it. Some times it is just better to have or let others slowly out you to people.

The only way 3 people can keep a secret is if the other 2 are dead. LOL.
All this may have started out with a slip of the tongue, but you probably were ready to let it out on some unconscious level already. And out there it is.

[Kathi Lake]

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

First, you are right. Though she may be a bit of a dim bulb, she is a woman - and has a lifetime of experience in being just that. She has the intuitive nature to know who she can tell, and those who she shouldn't. I guess I will continue to trust her instincts.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

You were also correct on me wanting to let the secret out on either a conscious or unconscious level. It sure would be nice not to have to pretend.

Sigh.

Kathi

[Miranda09]

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

First, you are right. Though she may be a bit of a dim bulb, she is a woman - and has a lifetime of experience in being just that. She has the intuitive nature to know who she can tell, and those who she shouldn't. I guess I will continue to trust her instincts.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

You were also correct on me wanting to let the secret out on either a conscious or unconscious level. It sure would be nice not to have to pretend.

Sigh.

Kathi

Just remember Kathi...how ever you handle this particular situation, if you do go thru with it, just let your personality take over and have a good time. The girls night out sounds like fun and, of course, Halloween is right around the corner so that could provide some added opportunity to leak your secret out. I wish I could tag along and give some moral support. :)

[VeronicaMoonlit]

You probably put a lot of of hard graft into helping the world construct that cage. But do really want to spend the rest of your life just sitting there admiring your handy-work?

And aren't you a very insightful badger, well said. The cage sucks, well to be more accurate, it sucks for me.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.
Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed badger.

[Dana]

As a retired US Marine ~ don't do it. Should you stumbled and fumble in another area (and it doesn't have to be you ~ just someone under your chain of command) it can and will be used against you.

[Sammy777]

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

Kathi

Hi Kathi
Yes I was in a long winded mood, lol, but your very welcome.

As far as the girl night out goes.
I would say do it.
I think going out with some of the girls will be good for you and give you a time and place to be able to talk more freely [outside of work] about you.

Just get the where, when and who else with in advance.
I don't think you want to be surprised to where and end up at one of "his" stomping grounds.

And just remember to have fun! :D