House Guest?

[TxKimberly]

My son has a friend, a young lady of 19, who has been thrown out of her own home by her parents. She is currently living and sleeping in her car in the Austin area, where it has been averaging well over 100 degrees every day. She has no home. She has no job. She has no food.

My wife and I have talked about it, and as much as we hate the idea of having a house guest, we are going to invite her to stay with us. I figure to put some rules on it - she has to get a job or go to school, if she gets a job she has to give us a few $$ every pay day which we will put away for her, and put a tentative deadline on her stay of 6 months. I doubt very much we would throw her out in 6 months, but I want her to have that thought in the back of her mind motivating her to make some effort.

Here's the rubs though. I make a lot of my business trips dressed, and obviously this involves my getting ready and leaving the house dressed for the airport. I can't do that with her sleeping on our couch. So, major interference in my life style and something I deeply enjoy. Am I selfish for considering this and letting it bother me? In any case, much as I hate the thought of someone living in my house, I just can't tolerate the thought of a young lady going hungry and trying to sleep in her car in 100+ degrees, so I'll make the offer. Gonna HATE making all my trips boy mode though! :(

Update 4 July -

Well it turns out that all of my angst and worry was for nothing. I made the invitation and she accepted . . . for one night! Turns out her own grandmother in San Antonio has offered to take her in and she has accepted. So, all of that soul searching and worry was for nothing, our home is already back to normal!

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Kimberly-

<huge huge hug to you, dear> Yes, it is a major league pain in the derrier to do something like that, but I so respect you for it. What a wonderful thing to do. FWIW, my wife and I did the same thing a few years ago for a friend of my son's. He was thrown out by his parents and was basically living on the streets, so we took him in for a few months. I even spoke with his parents before we did this and they told us they pretty much didn't give a damn. He's a good kid but with some problems. Anyway, he is now in college and doing okay. Nothing we did in particular, but I'm glad we could help out a little when he needed it.

As far as your dressing, it's a sacrifice and I completely understand your feelings, I felt the same way, in fact I pretty much hated it the whole time he was there. Didn't hate him, but hated how it cramped my style. You are doing the right thing, though, at least I think so. You really are as sweet as your picture, hon.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[JeneeDavis]

Kimberly,
You'd hate yourself more if you didn't do this.
It's the right thing to do.
You'll find a way to make things work out!
Hugs, :hugs:
Jen :battingeyelashes:

[DanaR]

I would have to agree with everything that has been said. It sounds like a very nice offer. I hope that she sees this an a good opportunity, appreciates it and makes the most of it. You rock!!

[RachelB.]

Not only are you smart and beautiful, you have a heart of pure gold. If the world had more like you it would be a far better place.

[Jenny Brown]

This is the kind of thing Jesus would do. :)

[Joni Marie Cruz]

This is the kind of thing Jesus would do. :)

Jesus was a tgirl? Wow. I had no idea.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[MiraM]

Kimberly,
You'd hate yourself more if you didn't do this.
It's the right thing to do.
You'll find a way to make things work out!
Hugs, :hugs:
Jen :battingeyelashes:

I have to agree with this. Even though it will be an interuption to your routine and hamper your lifestyle, I think in the end you will be the better for it. I know I could not live with myself if I had the means to help someone in a situation such as this and did not do it.

[dee4127]

Kim it is so nice of you to try and make a difference in someones life. No matter how things turn out it is the right thing to do.

[pamela_a]

Kim, I can't do anything but agree with the others. You have a heart of gold to do that. Look on the bright side...maybe you'll be able to give her some make up tips :)

Seriously. Just from the little I know about you reading your posts, you would hate yourself for not offering to help another woman in trouble.

:hugs::love:

-Pam-

[PheonaP]

:hugs: Huge huge :hugs: Kimberly, your generosity in times of others adversity knows no bounds. :hugs:

[Janet R.]

It might help if you knew why this young person is homeless.

How do you know this houseguest will not rip you off at the
first opportunity ?

Be a good person, try to do the right thing, but keep your
eyes wide open lest you get more problems.

Janet R.

[cindym5_04]

I think you are absolutely wonderful for even taking into consideration the thought of having her as a house guest. I truly believe that there should be more people like you. I think you'll find that although you'll be hating making your trips in boy mode, it will be much more worth it to help her out and make such an impact on her life.

[Ellen James]

Kimberly -
Reading your postings about your adventures and travels, as well as your other comments and observations, I have always been impressed by your attitude and intelligence. This latest choice, in the face of the inconveniences and challenges, just proves that you are a classy broad :o

Best wishes for this endeavor and the young lady is a very fortunate person to have your family for friends

[Jonianne]

Kim, be absolutely sure to set strong and firm boundries. We did a similar thing and it took 2 and half years to get her out of the livingroom. She finally did get a job, but made no effort to get out on her own untill we finally pressured her out. She also threatened us with the fact that we could not just throw her out. Legaly I had to threaten to get an eviction notice which gives her 30 days. It does not matter if she is a legal renter or not.

No, your concern about your dressing is not selfish, having someone there for an extended period can cause many other issues.

You have a good heart. Having firm boundries does not lessen that.

[Teri Jean]

Kimberly, I cannot say how much you have touched our lives and now with this post I find it hard to say without tears, girl we love you and you are the best. As one person said it," small inconveniance for a better solution". If this young lady has a heart she will endure it to you and your wife for your kindness.

Huge huggs to you both. Keli

[Nicole Erin]

So you are going to give her a roof over her head, food on the plate, a place to sleep, and running water. She will be very thankful for that.
I very much doubt she is going to have a problem with how you live your life.

Just explain things to her, if she has any sense she is not going to give you crap about it.

You know, most of us don't want to have a house guest for more than a few days. But a house guest should not get in the way of how the renter/owner of the home lives.

I am just lost on that aspect. What does having a house guest have to do with how you live? If you were to BE the guest it would be different but she is in YOUR home. And, she is an adult, it is not like it is some child who you would have to "protect".

OH wait another thing - you leave the house en femme, fly that way, drive around town, and well you pretty much ARE Kimberly to most who see you, it is not like you are in the closet so why is this particular lady an obstacle?

[trannie T]

Apparently outing yourself to her is not under consideration, you could have her help with your makeup instead of rent. Giving up dressing for a few months is a small price for helping another human being.

[Brina Halloween]

Definitely set the boundaries and make sure she is responsible as someone else mentioned. I am surprised no one mentioned your wife just having a baby (or I missed that post). Things are probably hectic there anyway. I met a few ladies when I worked at a bar that really had no sense of responsibility and went from guy to guy batting their eyelashes. Dropping a bad egg into a hectic baby filled house would be ....:eek:

[Sandygal]

That is an awesome thing to do. What possible bad thing could she have done to be put out of her house? I'm glad there are people like you in the world.

[Kristen Marie]

Kim, I think you said your son knows you dress when you travel so it may be just a metter of time that she finds out...and somehow, I can't beleive the Kim adventures are going to stop...it just might be a tad more difficult....and you left out one important fact. What size is she?

[Miranda-E]

Here's the rubs though. I make a lot of my business trips dressed, and obviously this involves my getting ready and leaving the house dressed for the airport. I can't do that with her sleeping on our couch. So, major interference in my life style and something I deeply enjoy. Am I selfish for considering this and letting it bother me? In any case, much as I hate the thought of someone living in my house, I just can't tolerate the thought of a young lady going hungry and trying to sleep in her car in 100+ degrees, so I'll make the offer. Gonna HATE making all my trips boy mode though! :(

It's your house and you're helping her. dress however you want. Remember, its your house.

[kellycan27]

Kimberly...You are my odol. What a wonderful sacrifice you and your wife are making. Kudos to the both of you.
Kel

[Marcia Blue]

Kimberly, My household has been in the same situation that you are speaking of several times. My middle son attracts friends in need, like honey to bees. We have had four house guests, that had no where to go. I do believe that you should lay down the rules, before she moves in.
Our rules were:
1. I do believe that a job is a must.
2. Do not loan or give money. ( you already have opened your doors )
3. They must help around the house.
4. They eat what we eat, unless there is a medical reason.
5. If they are not coming home for the evening, or weekend, or what ever, they need to let someone know.
6. They must treat everyone in the house with respect.
7. Treat all property and things, as it were their own.

For the most part all of our temporary family members were very nice, and appreciated our hospitality and would be invited back again.

Good Luck,

[Christinedreamer]

I applaud your open heartt HOWEVER as one poster here asked, do you know WHY she was tossed out. That could be a major factor. If it was for drugs or similar activity, steer clear lest you be dragged in.

Here in SoCal you can lose your home to seizureby the State if someone you let stay with you is accused of drug activity. It does not even have to end up with a conviction for them.

I did this as well for 6 months for a friend who had a 16 yr old daughter and was pregnant with another baby. We worked together so I thought I knew her fairly well. When she moved in, it seemed as though I was a guest in my own home.

You also need to consider what may be said by her to others if she sees you dressed and then you need to ask her to leave later on for other reasons.

I hate to consider that someone you opened your heart and home to would play you for a sucker but it happens a LOT.

Just be very careful and be sure you keep track of everything.

[karynspanties]

No Kimberly, your not selfish. You just have a big heart.:thumbsup:

[TxKimberly]

OK, I have looked in to why she was thrown out and it's a complicated mess - as you would expect. She doesn't get along with her older brother. She had a pit bull that her parents couldn't stand and they took it to the pound when she was out. Last straw, they accused her of stealing from her brother. I've spent time around this girl and don't believe that she is the type to steal. I don't think I'm taking a "bad" girl in to my home. Maybe a bit unmotivated, and maybe someone who will take advantage as long as I'll let her, but not a "bad" girl.

Why will I not dress with her around? She is a friend of my sons, she has been a friend of his for most of his life. They share countless friends in common. HE does not want her to know, and my son deserves that much respect and consideration.

Some asked questions along the lines of "Why aren't there more people willing to do things like this?" There are folks, lots of em right here on this forum. Have y'all ever read the posts of Carin (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=41090) and her wife? These two took in several children and gave them a home and the love that goes with it.

[renee k]

Hi Kim,

Kudo's to you for your efforts, to help one in need. I think we all need to consider how fortunate we are, and like you. Help those that aren't as well off.

Huggs, Renee

[Alice B]

I think that you have already made your decision and I think you and your wife are very special people because of it. My first question is, does your son know about your dressing? My second is, why was she kicked out?
If your son does know then I see no reason why you can't tell your new house quest about it and thus continue on with the life style you and your wife have become used to. If your son does not know, then maybe it is time to tell him. If he is at all like you and your wife (and I suspect he is) it will not be as big a problem as you may think and you can continue your dressing before trips. I wish you all the luck in the world.:hugs:

[Jodi]

Kimberly, I would be extremely cautious. This is something that can explode in your face and affect your family down the line.

Do you really know the girl? Have you done a complete background check? Remember, she will have access to everything in your house.

In my case, I denied the same request from a female a while back. She was down on hr luck, hungry, and nowhere to go. She was oh so sweet. What she really had was some terrific femme wiles. I did some deep checking and discovered that she was a total pathological liar. Her problems were always someone else's fault when the problems were always self made.

I did a deep study on the situation and felt that If i allowed her to move in, I would be puting myself in jeopardy and enabling her own problems. I denied her request. Of course, I was the worst ******* that ever walked the earth.

I won't get into the gory details, but I was oh so right. I'm so glad that I did not fall for her tale of woe.

Beware and be cautious. This one sounds like it has some holes in it.

Jodi

[TGMarla]

We did much the same thing when my wife's son died. We extended our hospitality to his best friend, who was his roommate at the time. He is a great kid, and we very much wanted to help him. My wife allowed him to live in our home with no real stipulation, and he took advantage of it. I'm not saying that he conciously and rudely took advantage of it, but with no motivation to do anything for himself, he was quite content to allow things to continue indefinitely. He eventually moved out, and we are still friendly in a familial manner. He's like a relative to us.

I think you're doing the exact right thing. Compassion and humanity dictate that you should help her. Responsibility and your personal sanity dictate that there be beneficial stipulations and incentives for her to help herself.

[Sophie Lynne]

I will add my voice to the chorus:

Class and a heart of gold, girl.

Hugs

[paulaN]

I think what you are doing is great. But!!!!! please be careful. The thing that bugs me is she is 19. She was living at home and she gets a pit bull(that no one likes) Or is scared of. That does not sound responsible to me at all. A dog like that is a huge responsibility. What would you do if she brought a pit bull into your home? ummmm make some rules for sure.

[Christinedreamer]

Kimberly, as I said I applaud you and hopefully all will be well. Just remember that as an long time invited guest, if she brings a pit bull or other issues, once she is ensconced under your roof, they become your problems as well and some of these can be very costly.

It breaks my heart when good Samaritans are rewarded with abuse, lawsuits and life altering consequences.

As you know there are many in this world who care little about messing up other's lives. Be hospitable (I KNOW you will be, as you are a lady) but be careful.

Hopefully all of us nervous Nellies will be proved wrong this time.

[docrobbysherry]

I mite do the same but, 6 months!? NOT on your life!:eek:

I'd contact our County Social Services Dept. immediately.
To get her out, and properly motivated ASAP! I'm ALSO aware of a number of private, and religious organizations here, that take in young women in trouble!

My guess is, u have them in Texas, too. :)

Try your phone book, and/or on line. You may be able to dress FREELY again, in a couple of weeks, or sooner!:D

[SuzanneS]

Kimberly,

Already been said, you do have a heart of gold.....but,

She's 19 yrs old...an adult, so yes, make sure she goes to school or gets a decent enough job to support herself...no exceptions!

Watch yourself, your family, and your possessions.

What happens if she's in the house alone, since she will be living there, alone when everyone else is gone? What's she gonna find if she goes snooping?

No way would I let her live there 6 months without paying rent, helping out with the utilities, house chores, etc etc etc....go for a month, tops. Just until she finds a place of her own to rent if she isn't going to school.

Probably lots more I can add, but since I live single I've helped family and friends out by giving them a place to stay a few times....I have not been burned bad, but twice I felt like I was just used and had to clean up the mess afterwards.:Angry3:

Suz

[Deidra Cowen]

I went through the same thing recently but I am not as sweet and nice as you! My daughter had a friend kicked out by her parents. I know the girl, she is nice and I knew of no big troubles going on.

Regardless I laid down the law, we would just have her stay with us for 2 weeks then she had to figure out something else. I said we are a family and we come first, friends can stay but not forever. She was 18 I believe.... my daughter is 19.

Well of course the deadline came and went, I knew that would happen. I just went ahead and was the bad guy being 'old' Dad. Finally a week later she moved out of town back to her grand parents. Kids did not get upset with me at all. Of course my kids live with me by their own choice since they left my EX who has issues, so I have a bit of leverage.

Anyway things turned out ok and the girl ended up moving back to Atlanta in with some friends and once or twice a week she will come by with my Daughter doing normal stuff.

So the moral of the story from my viewpoint is help someone in need but have strick rules!! Personally I get the idea you really enjoy your dressing, take it from someone that has been free to dress before then had circumstances change and then could not dress! I got depressed as heck!

Anyway good luck you are a sweetie but I had that idea from your posts already.

[cd_jamie]

I think its great you made the offer. if your son knows you dress he may even have mentioned it to her. I agree getting a job is a must. just make sure you are not opening your door to someone who will rob you blind:2c:

[Suzy Harrison]

Hi Kim - That's very kind of you but also very typical of you.

Don't worry if things don't go right, as you can come and stay with me for 6 months. (please !)


Good on ya Kimmie :hugs:

[StephanieC]

You are solid gold for your intentions. And I thought I couldn't envy you anymore than I do...

[Rachel Morley]

No you are definitely not being selfish for considering this to be a major interference in your life style and letting it bother you.

What you are about to experience nearly happened to me about 6 months ago. It was my wife's sister and her 8 year old daughter that would would have been our house guests. We (Marla & I) were all ready to say yeah go ahead and stay but only for one month - not six. We were prepared to give her money but not have her and her child invade our private space and disrupt our happy home life for more than a minute longer than we had to. Luckily she met a guy and married him and then moved to Florida so it never happened in our case.

Kim .... Mother Teresa's got nothing on you! :hugs:

[Alice B]

Well I was stupid enough to respond before reading all the posts and you had answered my questions. That said I still praise you and your wife for taking her in and pray that it proves to be a positive thing for all.:hugs::hugs:

[MissConstrued]

So you are going to give her a roof over her head, food on the plate, a place to sleep, and running water. She will be very thankful for that.
I very much doubt she is going to have a problem with how you live your life.


Yeah, that.

I doubt very much she'd have enough of a problem to go back to living in her car.

[Phoebe Reece]

Kim, good people usually do the right thing. I believe you are a good person.

[dawnmarrie1961]

You are such a good person. I feel like crap because 6 months ago I had to kick my daughter and her boyfriend out for the third time because neither of them is making any real attempt at finding a job. They know they can come back, but only on the condition that they work or are in school. They don't want to do either. I'm so mean.

[AmandaM]

God Bless You.

[donnalee]

Just a couple of comments - feel free to disregard if you wish.

Doing a kindness can lead to complications; I'm sure you're aware of this. The reason for doing it is your own satisfaction that this is the proper course of action under the circumstances.

No good deed goes unpunished.

If bitten by the altruism bug, wallow in it. (Robert Heinlein, but I don't have the exact quote).
:hugs: Donna

[Aubrey Green]

Kimberly your heart is bigger than your ego and that is a very good quality. I was the same way with my sons friends, but they all knew to respect me and my place or they were gone. Never had one serious problem. Make sure she knows she has someone who cares about her, but also the consequences if that respect is broken. Good luck! :daydreaming:

[harmony]

i cant believe no-one mentioned drugs!be carefull please-i dont like the pittbull connection either!drugs are more rampant in kids today than you might want to believe.do you know her parents?

are they just coldhearted people or were they at their wits end?
i would hate to see you taken advantage off(plus i will miss your travelstories).
at the end you have to do what your heart tells you and deal with the consequences.
its such a screwed up world out there!

[Stephanie-L]

Kimberly,
It seems that I am the first to respond from the other side. I have been in a situation similar to this girl, lost my apartment, my job, my car and became seriously ill inside of one month. I was staying for a few days with an old girlfriend's family, and they found me a place to stay a bit longer. It was with a man and his wife who were leaders in my religion. They took me in, fed me, and housed me for several weeks. In that time I found a job and started looking for a place to live, but not really very hard. Finally they had to take me aside and give me a time limit, and they helped find me a place to live. My point is that even though I didn't feel I was taking advantage of them, I really was. To this day 30 years later I still respect and honor them for what they did for me, and I try to pay it forward. I am also a bit ashamed of how I used them. Anyway, my input is, yes, help her, but set definate limits, and I would advise perhaps 2 months, not 6. With 6 months it is too easy to just let it pass, not get a job or go to school, etc. With 2 months it will give her a sense of urgency and motivate her a bit. You can always re-evaluate at that time and extend or not. You are a wonderful person, both for wanting to help this girl, and for causing yourself some emotional pain in trying to respect your son's wishes. On a selfish note, we will miss the stories and photos of your travels, and doesn't SCC fall right in the middle of that time period? Plus the fact that you have a new baby, you need to be extra careful. Keep us informed...........Stephanie

[sometimes_miss]

I don't think 6 months is such a long time for someone to get their life together; especially since that person has probably never lived out on their own before. It's easy for some of us to think it's simple to do, mostly because we know how to do it. A person of 19 most likely has little cash, no credit, no references to give. Finding housing isn't going to be simple for her, and setting up jobs with enough income to afford living out in the real world will be a challenge as well. I think the shock of being kicked out of her own family will be enough to make her think pretty hard about what the rest of her life will be like.

Kim, more power to you. I'm sure you can 'keep things under wraps' for a while. Besides, it's good for your karma.

[jennCD]

That is quite wonderful of you, Kimberly,... you can do for this girl what my wife and I regularly do for every stray dog or cat we find... however, luckily for you, it's probably unlikely she'll stay for life LOL... well, unless she hits it off with your son!

:)
jenn

[Dawn Marie]

Kimberly, I hope everything turns out ok for you. I did the same thing a couple of years back. The girl was thrown out by her parents with no place to go. It was actually my ex-wife who suggest to her to come see me. As it turned out my ex told her about my secret, which she was perfectly fine with. In fact at the time she helped me go farther on my part than I could possible go by myself. With makeup tips, hair, and wardrobe. Strange thou at the time she and I were both the same size, so she ended up wearing a lot of my clothes, with permission of course. Seeings how she had nothing. Like you there was some rules too. She had to finish school, and either get a job or help around the house. It was her senior year and she graduate with my help.
All in all it was a great experince and a satisfying one. we both helped each other. She stayed with me for a year and half. she could have stayed longer but she said she wanted to make it on her own after she got a better job.
Good luck Kim, I don't think you will regret your decision.,

[MarcellaMcNul]

"A major interference in your lifestyle"?...Absolutely! Is it selfish to consider that a consequence? Absolutely not! IMHO you and your family are about as unselfish as it gets.

As others have posted opening your home and your heart to a troubled soul has great risk both materially and emotionally.

My best wishes to all concerned.I tip my hat to you(the one with the blue ribbon bow).

[Mary Morgan]

As others have said, you are to be commended for your kindness and thoughfulness. Good things come to those who wait.

[Lois Page]

Kim:
Could you book the earliest flights for your trips? You might be able to leave for the airport en femme, before your guest gets up. Risky, but an option.
Best regards.
Lois

[Fab Karen]

It's your house, and you'd be doing her a huge favor. How about honesty about what you are? She can decline if she's bigoted.

[Deb The Brunette]

Kimberly,

It's wonderful that there are still kind hearted souls like you around.

I can speak from experience here but from the other side for at the age of 17 I found myself homeless, financially desperate and over all in a very sorry state and had it not been for a couple.... who I barely new to be honest... taking me into their home and taking care of me for nearly two years I do not know what may have happened to me on the streets for I was already living 24/7

I shall always be grateful to those lovely people and I think of them and remember them with great fondness for I would not be where I am now if not for them, they have both passed away now but I have an old photo of them hanging on my wall lest I forget sometimes

So Kimberely ....bless you

Debs x

[Starr]

Kim, just do some good planning and be firm with what is required. I have a GG friend who is always trying to help someone down on their luck.. and about 50% of the time she gets screwed over by them.

[Angie G]

I know it's a hard thing to invite someone to stay in your home. And when it is such an inconvenience your offering this shows what a loving and caring person you and your wife are. Your the best hun I just hope you don't get burnt on the deal.:hugs:
Angie

[Sarah Doepner]

Kim,
Good for you, but remember "no good deed goes unpunished". Wait, that's just at work.

My wife and I have done the same thing and found that it is a great "Tough Love" opportunity. Once she has had a bit of time to settle down and think about her choices and life, you need to keep her aware of your expectations while she is in your house. We found that by letting our guests set their own schedules and slide over their committments to us they made no progress and our help was in vain. Good luck and I hope you are back at the airport in those great shoes again soon.

[Desiree2bababe]

Being good will pay off ten fold........the world needs more like you

[Sam-antha]

Thats great and I echo many of the thoughts and avice offered to you, but and there has to be a but, why six months ?
Do you still have the option of saying goodbye to her before the time is up ? I would have gone for a probationary month followed by a three month acceptance. Six months could mean you chucking her out in the winter. Not that your winter is in any way like mine, but still.

Further, I would not have interrupted my lifestyle in any way. But then it is my life and I know how suddenly it can end,age notwithstanding, there is accident or illness.

Still it is your and your family's choice and I applaud it your intent.
~Samm

[Amber-Sue]

When my daughter was still in school two of her friends were in the same state of life that your sons friend is. I set rules, told parents where the child was and informed the police that I was taking in the girls. they were free to go back home at anytime. Everything worked out fine and both girls still after all this time call me "DAD" whenever they see me.
keep your heart open and good luck. BTW love reading your travel posts.

Amber

[Angel.Marie76]

I see I'm a little late on this thread, but my thoughts match many already said.It takes a heart of gold to take someone into your home as long as you feel that person is trustworthy enough to share your home with. Also, I understand the issue with your son not wanting you to tell her about your dressing. I suppose, if your son feels that she's ready and able to accept the news that you CD, maybe you could leave it to him to break the news and it might ease your life in the end.

Not being able to travel dressed as you do so often I'm sure will bother you for some time, and i do hope that the energies of all balance off. A good deed such as this deserves such a karmic reward. :)

Do be careful though, and as you already know, keep firm. Write up a contract even so that she understands these terms as a finality. Have your son, yourself and her sign it so that everyone is clear about the rules. Be a manager, if you will, of her - that is, if you really want to make sure that she keeps on track, and be fair with her about the realities of it all. If you set daily / weekly / monthly goals, she'll have something to reward herself with and you will have the satisfaction of getting a nice girl back on her feet.

Best of luck and good will to her and you!

--Angel

[juliew]

Kimberley,

Many years ago my son packed his bags and moved out of his mom's home with her drunken curses ringing in his ears. A long time friend took him in and and my son spent the last six months of his high school senior year sleeping on my friend's couch. I was several hundred miles away and he wanted to finish HS with lifetime friends. The kicker was that my friend had just remarried. He and his new bride took my son into their home less then two weeks after their wedding. To cut to the chase, my son finished HS, moved in with my family and I, went on to get a degree and is making a heck of a lot more money then his dad. I will be forever indebted to that friend that took a 17 year old young man into his home at much sacrifice to his life style. God bless people like you.

Jolene

[Rita D]

Hi Kim-
Wish I had come to this thread earlier, so I wasn't just parroting what so many other ladies have already said. But you are indeed a jewel!
I can only hope and pray that if I were ever put in a similar situation that I could be so loving and selfless.
I will be definitely keeping you, your family, and the young lady in my thoughts and prayers in the days to come. Bless you...:rose:

[kristinacd55]

I think Kim if ur making this sacrifice of allowing her to stay in your house, YOU should be allowed to do your dressing b4 you go on your trips! Your generousity shouldn't extend so far as to interfere with your regular life completely. And 6 months sure seems like a long time for you not to dress up b4 you go out.

[Sheila]

KIm, hearts of gold I do not doubt you and your wife have .......... but I please ask you to ask yourslves WHY? WHY have her parents thrown her out .................. trust me for a parent to do that, there really has to be some serious Shite going on involving their child ............. I speak from experiance ................. please please be very careful, for oyurselves and your young family :hugs:

[falcongts]

Kim
Thanks for helping
I know what its like to try to live out of a car 30 out side gets cold fast in the winter and over 100 in summer been there In my case I had a job unable to make it on my own (look up to see the bottom) anyway
they will see the love your family has for her and each other !!!!!!! and that is priceless for sure

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah, that.

I doubt very much she'd have enough of a problem to go back to living in her car.


You are killin me! :devil: Yeah she won't say "Well heck with this, I am not going to live with a TG person, I am going back to living in my car!"

NOW something Kimberly - consider this very serious -
There are 3 basic levels of knowing someone -

Knowing they exist. [lowest level]
Knowing their personality [This is where friendships are made or not]
Knowing what it is like to live with them [And all their bad habits and such]

You do not truely know someone until you have had to live with them. Most people are not good at putting on an act for more than a few days.

She is a woman, she can find a place to stay. If a man is out on his ass, he might just be up a creek but you don't see many homeless women or children.

And remember, people who are in a rut, they always act like it is not their fault.

[MichelleGray502]

Kim what you and your wife are doing is the thing that most good people would do to help out there Kids friends in the time of need, I couldnt Imagine what it would be like to live in a car in 100F heat during the day. But I agree with everything that has been said in this thread already.

You and your wife have a heart of gold and no you are not being selfish by setting some ground rules and not letting how you and your wife live your lives since this your your home and not hers if she doesnt like it she knows where the door is..

I wish you the best of luck Lov and yes keep a eye on her and make sure she makes a effort on improving her lifestyle, 6 months is a long time to let her stay but I know you are doing this for your son and showing that you are a very nice person with heart of gold..:hugs::)

[Rebecca Jackson]

Kimberly,
As some many have already said, you are a wonderful person and you have a heart of gold. You continue to inspire us in so many ways. Please be careful.

Rebecca

[Sally2005]

I think it is generous to offer help. It is important to know exactly why she was kicked out. Is a handout really what she needs or is it just delaying her learning how to survive on her own? For example, My brother has never really become financially responsible because everyone always 'gave him a break' and in the end he just expects more...sad, really. The other thing to consider is the impact on your kid...once the relationship turns sour, will you kick her out? What if you hand the responsibility to your son?...you set the rules, he makes the call if she stays or not and he imposes his positive influence on her. ...just watch out for a negative influence she might have on your son (better if he is a responsible leader type vs. follower). If you can help her to turn her life around the reward will probably outweigh the risk. Don't expact it to be stress free.

[ReineD]

Kim, I completely agree with not wanting to divulge the CDing to her if this is your son's wish.

One thing you might want to consider. If this girl is like most 19 year olds I know, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that will wake her up at 4 or 5 AM, especially if you walk quietly past her and out the door. Also, I don't know the layout of your living room, but could you possibly buy a foldable screen that she can put up near the sofa when she goes to sleep, for her privacy and so that others can move about without waking her up?

Or, if you are concerned she will wake up, you could just wear something like a large man shirt over your clothes, and perhaps consider putting on your wig in the car. If she does wake up, she will be too groggy to notice that anything is amiss. Plus, isn't it dark at that time in the morning during most of the year? Would she even notice the makeup if you keep the lights out while you leave?

And no, I don't think it is selfish of you to be concerned about potentially not being able to express yourself. Being Kim is essential to your well-being. And I think you have a heart of gold to even consider taking your son's friend in. It will all work out, I'm sure. And she might also be a great addition to your family right now. An extra pair of hands to help out around the house while the baby is so young? This would benefit everyone, but mostly her. I should think it would be wonderful for her to feel needed, especially since her family has abandoned her.

OK, one last thought. I have a friend whose daughter is now in her early 30s and doing very well. But she was unruly when she was a teenager. My friend decided to practice "tough love" and told her daughter if she wanted to carry on the way she was, she would have to leave. The daughter did just that and I know this was the hardest week that my friend ever experienced. The daughter eventually came to her senses and came back home. Everything changed after that. My point is that your young guest might not be in your home for as long as you think.
:love:

[Jenny J]

Kimberly,

I've been keeping a sharp eye at a certain southern airport for a unique frequent traveler. Now I'm going have to re-adjust the peepers and set my sights on an uncomfortable looking and out of place male.

As for your house guest I certainly commend you for your kind hearted effort and I'm sure that you, your wife and son will be doing everything to help her get headed in the right direction.

Hopefully all will work out for the best.

Jen

:rose2:

[Dana]

Just do the right thing!

And Youknow what the right thing is to do!

[becca24]

i think you are the kindest person. It awful nice of you to look out for some1 that you dont know very well. you have a big heart kimberly and you a very respectable lady, i dont know you but i can tell ur a great person.....Becca :daydreaming: P.S. Just tell her you have another lady that lives in the house. A FOX :D

[Marissa]

Kim, didn't think you had it in ya to pass on helping so its not a surprise..even if you might have to give up on a few enjoyments.. or be creative.. :D

I live in a 5 bed room house, with 3 baths and its just me and my daughter..and she is looking at leaving the nest (on vacation for 3 months) and i look at all the room..so yes i would do the same but with the same limitations you set.. even if i had to pay the price..hide till its clear or come clean to the person..

thank you..for being you.. :daydreaming:

Hugs,

[Tracy_Victoria]

Kimberly...You are my odol. What a wonderful sacrifice you and your wife are making. Kudos to the both of you.
Kel

My thoughts too!

People often forget what actually counts as a christian acts, even if your not christian (and many so called christian seem to forget them also, when it affect them!)

Well done for doing something to help, over say "well it not my problem". and for doing so even though you know it will affect your own live in many ways.

if we all acted in this sort of manner, the world would be a far far better place to live than it is now.

[TxKimberly]

Update 4 July -

Well it turns out that all of my angst and worry was for nothing. I made the invitation and she accepted . . . for one night! Turns out her own grandmother in San Antonio has offered to take her in and she has accepted. So, all of that soul searching and worry was for nothing, our home is already back to normal!

[DianneW]

Kim, I'm sure theres a ton of moral & legal issues you could consider but the bottom line is its the right thing to do. You have a BIG, BIG HEART, MAY GOD BLESS YOU

[PretzelGirl]

I am glad to hear the stress will stay low Kimberly. I am just now reading this thread and I have been there twice before. Both times ended awkwardly and one required some work to get the person out. It is a good thing to do and that I why I probably did it the second time. Don't know if I could go through it a third. So I can empathize with all the thoughts that go into it.

But flying pretty continues! :yahoo:

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Update 4 July -

Well it turns out that all of my angst and worry was for nothing. I made the invitation and she accepted . . . for one night! Turns out her own grandmother in San Antonio has offered to take her in and she has accepted. So, all of that soul searching and worry was for nothing, our home is already back to normal!


Hi Kimberly-

I'm so glad things worked out for her. Just so you know, hon, I completely respect and admire you for your intentions in wanting to help her out. You're a treasure. Speaking of San Antonio, I need to call my Dad!<g>

Hugs...Joni Mari

[kristinacd55]

Update 4 July -

Well it turns out that all of my angst and worry was for nothing. I made the invitation and she accepted . . . for one night! Turns out her own grandmother in San Antonio has offered to take her in and she has accepted. So, all of that soul searching and worry was for nothing, our home is already back to normal!

That's great Kim, glad it worked out. You sure got a lot of posts over this subject! :)

[Laura_Stephens]

When my daughter was in HS, a friend of hers -- a girl -- found herself without a home. Her father was abusive and her mother was an alchoholic. She lived with us for about a year.

About six months into the stint, she told my wife and I that she wished she had parents like our daughter and that our daughter had no idea how lucky she was.

To this day, I think that God was glad that we helped her and that God thought that having a CD as a substitute father was better than having a father that raped her.

She was -- and still is -- a wonderful young lady.

[docrobbysherry]

Kim, the results of your generosity have proven that saying is NOT ALWAYS TRUE!:)

As Suzy would say, " Good on ya mite"!:thumbsup:

[cjflgirl]

As far as your dressing goes if you go to the airport dressed then you have gone out in public and you go out on business trips dressed. I would sit her down and tell her that I have a feminine side and that I dress enfemme on a reg basis if this is a problem then she can stay until she finds another place to stay.You are doing her the favor and you have a life to live good luck.

[Marcia Blue]

Kimberly,
You took a very big step and offered your home to a soul in need. Not many people will do this. You and yours are truly special.
Prayers and Huggs,