Where do I find someone who will accept me?

[Juliet]

Until recently I was dating a girl that had no issues with my desires to cross dress (very mild - heels at home, panties out and about, toes painted, shaved lefs).

Well, now that is over. So how do I find someone who is already accepting of my traits?

Is there a club? Do they hang out in certain places.

I consider myself a masculine man with some feminine desires. I keep a beard so I won't be dressing up and going out. But I love having my toes painted (I do wear sandals out), I wear women's underwear (they are pretty damn comfy). I've tried waxing and shaving my legs but have had horrible experiences with ingrown hairs.

I also consider myself bicurious. My past girlfriend and I did some role playing and it was pretty damn hot.

I want to be upfront about these parts of me, but I see a sea of rejection in my future.

Thanks in advance for any and all advice.

~Juliet

[Noxvictum]

Certainly the million dollar question...

[Joanne f]

In the same way/ place that you found your last girlfriend as there are no special requirements to finding girlfriends as most are far more accepting than you think providing that you are honest about how far you would like to go with your Cding (that`s if you are lucky enough to know at the present) as things can change

[sometimes_miss]

You'll regularly find tolerant, 'accepting' women occasionally accompanying their gay friends in gay clubs. Now, finding a woman who's going to be romantically attracted to you, that's something else entirely. Then comes compatibility. Lets just say, the chances are pretty remote. I think part of the problem is that it's so hard to figure out whether a woman is looking at me as someone she's attracted to, or if she just thinks I'm weird. So far, I haven't gotten a clue. Maybe your better at it than I am. Good luck.

[Melinda G]

When women look at you, they are thinking: How much money does he have. Would he be a good husband? Would he put up with my crap? Would he hand over the credit cards?:D

[cindym5_04]

Craigslist. oh wait...those are either guys looking to just hook up or they're hookers...


I've had luck with women that I met online actually.

[Miranda09]

You could try an online dating service like Alt.com of AFF.com (Adult Friendfinder).

[cindym5_04]

You could try an online dating service like Alt.com of AFF.com (Adult Friendfinder).

I wouldn't recommend AFF if you want someone to actually date. AFF has been more known just to hook up and really nothing much more (they actually pay to advertise on youporn... not that I look at that type of thing :heehee: )

[Miranda09]

I wouldn't recommend AFF if you want someone to actually date. AFF has been more known just to hook up and really nothing much more (they actually pay to advertise on youporn... not that I look at that type of thing :heehee: )

To a certain extent that's true. I have met several women on AFF.com however who were very nice and very open sexually. In fact, my gg friend that I came out to I met on AFF, so it is possible. However, it IS hard to meet anyone online. I've been trying for years now and am almost ready to throw in the towel.

[MissConstrued]

I want to be upfront about these parts of me, but I see a sea of rejection in my future.



Your biggest obstacle is going to be you, with an attitude like that.

This may sound trite, but you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Just do what you do, and do it proudly. Wear flip-flops and show off your pedicure everywhere you go. Little things that set you apart will spark conversations.

There's no reason to freak about underwear. Wear your sexiest, laciest knickers on the first date. Trust me, by the time clothes are coming off, it doesn't matter. If anything, it's a positive.

Obviously, it will help to find a bi-curious gal. That shrinks your pool a bit... only about 80% of women are. :D

[Noxvictum]

It occurs to me that there can't be a set place to meet someone. Even if there were, it would limit where you look. If you go to place A, which says you'll find someone soon, you won't be looking out when you're on the bus or whatever on the way home. From personal experience, it's generally when you don't expect a thing. Just keep your eyes open and a smile on your face.

[Teri Jean]

Juliet,

First off you have us and we will give our support, but a relationship may be harder to come by. Not impossible though. Until you do, and goes for me also, the family here can answer most of your questions, listen when you cry and laugh when we all need it. By the way welcome.

Huggs Keli

[karina36]

Hi glad to meet you if only via the internet. I have a beard too & have avoided bringing the subject up. Good for you !! Theoretically my gf "doesn't mind" but it's not a comfortable situation. I absolutely love dressing when I can -on my own! In bed half the time! if i can master the technology i would try to send some photos minus the beard of course. X X for now. Karina36.:tongueout

[Alice B]

I am certainly no expert and do not and never had to use an on-line dating service. But, that said it would seem that in using such a service it would help in your profile to be up front about liking to dress, along with all your good traits. Then only those that would accept a cross dresser, or that would like to find out more about you would respond.

[5150 Girl]

I lucked into my SO at a freind's party.

[karynspanties]

What ever you do, just make sure she knows right at the very beginning about you being a crossdresser. DO NOT WAIT TO TELL HER!!

[cd_jamie]

When women look at you, they are thinking: How much money does he have. Would he be a good husband? Would he put up with my crap? Would he hand over the credit cards?:D

bad thing is this how most women see men. my ex ran me to the poor house..

[vivianann]

welcome to the world of rejection, just say NEXT, and eventually you might find an accepting woman, but if you are bi curious, than it might be tougher to find a woman, because they may not want someone who might have sex with a male.

[Dana]

When you accept yourself!

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Just be yourself get out as your female side allows and meet a few people develop a few friendships and be happy to that point...anything else is pure frosting on the cake....they're out there, but so if the proverbal "needle in the hay stack"....

Good luck....

[Intertwined]

Don't go out looking for someone that accepts your CD, you probably will not find a relationship that way.

Just go out and be yourself, when you meet someone you like, right up front, tell them you Crossdress, it fhey are O.K. with it, Great, if not, nothing lost.

[TJ Tresa]

My dear Juliet, I don't have a clue as to where you could go to find someone who would accept your feminine side, other than here.
As for shaving your legs - trying appling body lotioin on you freshly shaved legs, underarms, etc. I personnally use suave, and after a couple of shaves there is no longer bumbs. Always use a sharp razor, and depending on how fast your hair grows, shave often. I shave my legs, underarms, face and a little bikini trim evertime I take a shower.
Good luck on both, and I hope you find someone, for there is nothing like having a soul mate whom you can love and who loves you back while accepting the feminine side of you. Take care and be carefull. Hugs, TJ Tresa.

[Misty is Kindafem]

To a certain extent that's true. I have met several women on AFF.com however who were very nice and very open sexually. In fact, my gg friend that I came out to I met on AFF, so it is possible. However, it IS hard to meet anyone online. I've been trying for years now and am almost ready to throw in the towel.


I think AFF is a blast!

You just have to be patient and selective. I make the guys email me for quite awhile before I meet them. 80% of them are very aggressive sexually (hello!) but there are also quite a few genuinely nice guys who really do like special gurls.

Now for those of you trying to meet women; it's the same, but you have to be even more patient and much less selective.

Though I have to admit I've met a couple of GG's on there that got me all revved up. Hmmm, that's probably another thread.

-Misty

[PretzelGirl]

Don't go out looking for someone that accepts your CD, you probably will not find a relationship that way.

Just go out and be yourself, when you meet someone you like, right up front, tell them you Crossdress, it fhey are O.K. with it, Great, if not, nothing lost.

Gold advice from Intertwined. There is a whole lot more to life then CDing (really). Find a mate/girlfriend and then drop the big one. Finding someone who accepts the CDing and worrying about the rest later is a recipe for disaster IMO.

[Empress Lainie]

When I made my transition, I figured (wrong or not) that I would not be very likely any more to find a woman that wanted me. I did find one, but she wants me only as a man, and that I am not even with a wrong body.

So I decided that the most likely partner would be another tgirl. Serendipitously it happened, meeting her at the first tg group meeting I attended, and it developed over 2 months until she asked if she could come home with me. We have been together ever since.

Relationships I think are one of the more difficult things in this life. There are so many that start out great and then end in explosions. And when you are unattached and looking it is harder, and hardest for either CD's or TS's.

If you were a gay man that liked to crossdress I would think (don't know!) that gay bars would be a good place to look.

But maybe some gay men hate crossdressers, like some of them hate mtf's, and even ftm's.

Hypothetically I would think that an ftm-mtf pairing would work out wonderfully. There is one ftm I could be in love with if we both weren't taken.

[Lisa Golightly]

Everyone I've ever spent time with has been drawn to me as Lisa. Whether in the old days when I portrayed myself as CD or in the past three years since I was honest and admitted I was TS. Be they boys, girls, MTF's, FTM's, CD's, gay, lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, or just plain confused.

I seem to be able to attract people, however keeping them is a different matter altogether... I get an awful lot of curiosity seekers who like the idea of being with a CD as was or a TS as is, or simply being with Lisa Golightly... Can be a bit soul destroying when the initial excitement is replaced with indifference, but I keep searching for my special one... Someone who believes in magic.

My personal experience is that my photographs are my no#1 means of attraction, but they are the main cause of people not being able to see beyond Lisa Golightly model (for a better word) and Lisa Golightly the girl. Which is ok but I kind of prefer people to go for my personality... Truth is if you're confident, and are open about CDing then you'll find plenty of people tempted to 'have a go'... lol... It's just whether they have staying power is the problem. I have to admit since I've become publicly TS more people are curious about me.

Just got to get out there and mix it as yourself.

[DemonicDaughter]

Those here that say to be yourself and learn to accept yourself first are giving the best advice.

Let's face it, when YOU look to meet someone, what are YOU looking for? Those same qualities that you find important are a pretty good indication of how your search will go. Very low standards and you might find a retired hooker. Give it some time, strength and patients and you might just find what you are looking for.

You have just as much chance as anyone else to find the person you connect with. Just don't go off the deep end just because you find someone that accepts you. Don't make that the basis for the whole relationship. You'd be dooming it from the start.

Good luck!

[Mistybtm]

You could try an online dating service like Alt.com of AFF.com (Adult Friendfinder).

I agree
I use them and never had a bad experiance there.
and have had some realy good encounters.:dom::twirl::cute:

[JulieK1980]

Your biggest obstacle is going to be you, with an attitude like that.

This may sound trite, but you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Just do what you do, and do it proudly. Wear flip-flops and show off your pedicure everywhere you go. Little things that set you apart will spark conversations.

There's no reason to freak about underwear. Wear your sexiest, laciest knickers on the first date. Trust me, by the time clothes are coming off, it doesn't matter. If anything, it's a positive.

Obviously, it will help to find a bi-curious gal. That shrinks your pool a bit... only about 80% of women are. :D

Took the words right out of my mouth! :) We are our own worst enemies, its just assumed that women won't be interested.

Back when I was dating I forced myself to be completely honest about myself from the very begining and I found most women were either intrigued, or just plain didn't care that I shared their taste in clothes.. So to answer the question, you can find them in all the same places that you would meet any girl. Don't assume being rejected is due to crossdressing either...

[Chrissie P]

The last guy I met was from Craigslist. I posted an ad in the city I travel to. Out of 15 or so replies he was the only good one. Got lucky that weekend.

They think we are men dressed in women's clothes and have the same slam bam thank you mam attitude towards sex and relationships. They don't know what goes on in our womanly brains.

It is interesting to view sex and relationships from a woman's perspective though. I understand why a lot of women feel unfulfilled when the guy spends 4 minutes creating friction for his own benefit, grunts and rolls over and goes to sleep. She is laying there wondering "what happened?"