Crossdressing, Women and Sex

[LilSissyStevie]

Doc's fetish CD thread touched on something I've wondered about since I came on board here. Whenever the subject of crossdressing and sex comes up, there will usually be a few posts that say something on the order of, "Sex has nothing to do with my crossdressing, I dress to be the woman I am." The part I have trouble with is that all the women I've ever been with have rated sex as a pretty big part of being a woman.

In fact, I have to admit I've always been a little undersexed compared to the women I've been involved with. And it's certainly not because I'm such a stud they can't keep their hands off me (the "sissy" part should be a clue.) So in that sense, getting dressed up as a prelude for sex is consistent with my experience although I always feel the most feminine during sex with my clothes off. Perhaps one reason my wife tolerates my dressing is because it is a turn on for me. She'll take it anyway she can get it.

So if you dress to be " just the (non-sexual) woman you truly are" or however you want to put it, how come that woman is sexless or perhaps even frigid? Do you think women don't like sex? How do you separate being sexy from sex? How do you separate being female or feminine from sex?

I'm not trying to attack any one's motivations here, I'm just curious.
:love:

[MiraM]

I agree with a lot you say here. My main reason for wearing female clothing is it is the only way I have to really express who I really am, since full transition is not an option for me. It is my way of coping with the cards I have been dealt.

And I would be lieing if i said there was no sexual excitement when I am dressed at times. It all depends on what I am wearing and why I am wearing it. If I am sitting around the house in one of my loose, everyday dresses, no...there is no sexual aspect to it. But I do have outfits and lingerie that are for no other purpose than to get me turned on and to turn on the guy/girl i am with, period. They are clothes made for sex. Heck, I don't know any GG's that don't have thier normal clothes/lingerie and clothes for looking sexy and getting themselves and thier partner in the mood.

[Miranda09]

I also agree with what you say. Sex is a big part of the experience, at least for me anyway. Even when dressed casually around the house, I still feel the sexual aspect of it all...which I hope NEVER goes away. If I didn't feel this way, I wouldn't bother constantly looking at myself in the mirror, and trying to be as sexy as I can.

[linnea]

I think that some CDs may simply want to make the point that their crossdressing is not for the sake of sex. Being a woman, of course, includes having various feelings and behaviors linked with sexuality.

[jennCD]

I can't completely agree since my situation has pitted me against a partner who has a much lower interest than I have had over the years.

Frustration is my middle name.

:)
jenn

[ChanDelle]

I think each and every one of us differ sometimes in colors but more often in shades of colors about the sex issue. I have to say, yes, sometimes it turns me on and sometimes just relaxes me. But don't loose sight of the fact that for some women, clothing seems to turn them on also. Many's the accout I've read where some women are turned on by high heels, or wearing larger hoop earrings. My wife uses the term sexy to describe this or that item, and I have to believe there's a turn-on factor, lesser or greater, that accompanies that description.

One thing I love about this website, is how varied and multi-faceted the aspects of CD/ TS etc. are. We are truly blessed for the most part, in our ability to accept the way we and others are. For me it transcends into other areas of life as well. I feel I'm blessed to have such a broad perspective in this life, even with the attendant challanges that arise.

ChanDelle

ChanDelle

[Sarah...]

Whenever the subject of crossdressing and sex comes up, there will usually be a few posts that say something on the order of, "Sex has nothing to do with my crossdressing, I dress to be the woman I am.

I'm a woman. And I'm rather fond of a bit of sexy stuff. My fondness for that is not generated by what I wear though, but instead by who I'm attracted to. After that initial attraction you then might find me ensuring that my clothing sends out the right signals to those people I'm attracted to.

Simple really :)

Sarah...

[anda_mouse]

i'll say this....having sex with a man while dressed is the only way i can have sex with a man. and i love it that way.

[Sheila]

I'm a woman. And I'm rather fond of a bit of sexy stuff. My fondness for that is not generated by what I wear though, but instead by who I'm attracted to. After that initial attraction you then might find me ensuring that my clothing sends out the right signals to those people I'm attracted to.

Simple really :)

Sarah...

Works for me, you said it better than this GG could have, thanks Sarah :)

[karynspanties]

When I started to dress, when I was about 5 or 6 years old, it was not sexual. I did not even know what that was. I just new that I needed to wear female clothes. As I got to my teens, it became sexual. Then after I got married it was still a sexual thing but it has wained to the point of non-sexual. I dress because I am more comfortable in female clothes than male. I am transgendered. I did not realize this until about 4 years ago. Once I realized this, life changed. Don't get me wrong, it can very easily be made sexual, but that's not why I dress. I dress because I should have been born genetic female and the need is there. I have purged once early in life and I will never do that again. I am what and who I am and I cannot change it not more than a leopard can change it's spots.

[AZGia]

i'll say this....having sex with a man while dressed is the only way i can have sex with a man. and i love it that way.

Gina, I agree I have had sex with a guys and girls dressed with both, but with a man it has to be dressed and what a rush.

[Mistybtm]

Gina, I agree I have had sex with a guys and girls dressed with both, but with a man it has to be dressed and what a rush.

I agree with you i love sex with men when dressed up sexy it just completes the whole thing for me.:battingeyelashes:

[tricia_uktv]

I agree with you i love sex with men when dressed up sexy it just completes the whole thing for me.:battingeyelashes:

Yep, but we need to make sure we are in control of ourselves. It can run away from us. I'm watching it happen with a friend now.

Sex is lovely with the right man at the right time and that statement, I think, is very important.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Dressing is not a sexual fetish for me. It kind of was during the masturbation phase that most of us go through, but it didn't start out that way (I mean, I was 4 when I started), and there is no arousal whatsoever when I dress up now. Excitement, yes, but no sexual arousal.

Having said that, I do enjoy sex with my wife more when I'm crossdressed than when I'm not. That does not embarrass me in the slightest. Should I be? I enjoy a lot of things more when I'm dressed.

Years before I came out to my wife, she would sometimes ask me to dress in her clothes for her. Of course, she never needed to twist my arm. :heehee: It was a definite fetish for my wife for me to dress in her clothes when engaging in sexual activities. Of course for me, it went well beyond that.

Questions like this don't bother me. I'm aware that some crossdressers are just fetish crossdressers. I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't particularly care for the ones who go posting photos of their genitalia on the net because I think it makes us ALL look like a bunch of pervs to the rest of the world when they do so, but to each his/her own. For the record - I think that practice is down-right disgusting (posting "dick-pics"). I don't get why anyone would want to do that, but whatever. There are plenty of non-cd's who post similar content, I'm sure.

[Ruth]

...all the women I've ever been with have rated sex as a pretty big part of being a woman
I'm sure this is true for you but it would be unsafe to generalise. I always had a fairly low sex drive as a man - which is explainable in terms of my significant female side. But it turns out that my feminine self also has a pretty low sex drive.
So whilst I enjoy all the feminine clothes, grooming etc. and femme pastimes like watching romantic films, I don't find myself lusting after handsome young men. But then it's quite commonplace for women of my age (let's say approaching 60) to be similarly detached.

[Fondew2004]

Well...for me....I dress because it makes me feel very sexy....very hot....very turned on!

My ex could never "get into it"; in fact, offered on more than one occasion the ultimate putdown..."Oh take that off....you look stupid (or silly).

After a while.....I just gave up.

But no more....never again!

[AllieSummers]

When I dress I feel sexy. I only buy sexy clothes, even casual clothes. I don't have a large wardrobe so I guess I feel like I can't waste money or time on non-sexy clothes at this point. I guess when I get a chance to dress at home more, just lounging around I'll invest in some stuff that isn't as sexy as what I would wear out to a club but that hasn't happened yet.

I love having sex as a woman with my wife and thank god she likes it too. But I am also happy if the end result isn't sex. I get a great feeling, call it sexual if you like, even when I put on my earrings.

I guess the question is if I didn't think it was sexy would I still dress. I guess only time will tell.

Everyone does things for different reasons. I can respect each individual's reasons. I don't try to force my ideas or thoughts on them and they shouldn't force theirs on me. I can see where some people would say that dressing isn't sexual for them but sex isn't that important to them to begin with. Sex is important to me whether I am a guy or girl. It isn't the only thing but it is important.

The bottom line is that if you are a sexual person then dressing might enhance it. If you aren't then it probably will not.

Kisses,

Allie

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

When I dress I feel sexy. I only buy sexy clothes, even casual clothes. I don't have a large wardrobe so I guess I feel like I can't waste money or time on non-sexy clothes at this point.

I'm kind of the same way. I always say when I look good (to me at least), I feel good. Looking good for me, is looking sexy. Sexy is good. Society doesn't always see it that way, but whatever.

I, too, dress almost only in sexy clothes - short skirts, heels only, and I LOVE my fishnets!

I miss the days when women dressed sexy more often. I've always wanted to dress sexy, not just dress like a woman, but dress sexy like a woman. It's my preference.

Dressing sexy doesn't equate to sexual arousal for me (as stated a few posts up), but I do love dressing sexy. I feel really good about myself when I do. :)

[dawnmarrie1961]

You are confusing "sex" and "sexuality". Two totally different and distinct subjects. Some people cross dress for the sexual arousal, the clothing acts like Viagra, stimulating the sex centers of the brain, as well as another part of the male anatomy. The desire to c/d quickly dissipates after the sex act has completed, sometimes accompanied by moments of shame and depression.

Those who c/d for because of "sexuality" may still experience the "sex" aspect but is not dependent on the it. It is more mental than physical in nature. It is a quest for identity.

[patricia 402]

this is a sore subject with me . ive been married three times and have lived with other women and when it comes to sex i always put them first but thats not good enough because the fact i always like to were somthing (at least panties) is a turn off iv always been honest at the beging they say its not a problem but somehow later on it just grates on them till it is a problem and things go down hill from there its no fun been there done that cant change who i am and at this point in my life im not going to for any woman july fourth will be my anevercery two years without contact with a women that sucks a lot im tierd of doing it myself i mss a woemans touch and companionship what the hell do i do damded if i do damded if i dont but like the dumbass that i am i want to try again. what can i say im just a dumb girl!!lol:battingeyelashes:

[Jaclyn NM]

Dressing in female clothes has always stimulated me sexually, and probably always will, but that isn't the only reason I dress. I also love the feel and the look.

[Marisa_M]

Whenever the subject of crossdressing and sex comes up, there will usually be a few posts that say something on the order of, "Sex has nothing to do with my crossdressing, I dress to be the woman I am."
:love:

Yes. I dress not to be but at least try to look like the woman I feel I am but at the same when dressed I feel more sexual than when I'm not dressed. Women are naturally sexy and seductive...much more than men. :brolleyes:

[Misty is Kindafem]

My ex could never "get into it"; in fact, offered on more than one occasion the ultimate putdown..."Oh take that off....you look stupid (or silly).


Yes, it is particularly cutting when your girl"friend" who is supposed to love you says something like that.

As a boy I became accustomed to being called a fag by the other boys. It came to be meaningless after awhile because they use it so frequently. If you drop a pass, you're a fag, if you don't like a certain type of music, you're a fag, if you give one of the football players a blow job, you're a fag.

But when a girl calls you a fag it hurts. It's not just the way they say it, it's that they even said it at all. You never hear them use the word and then they aim it right at you. It's like they're saying you're not one of us but you're not one of them!

Hurtful stuff for a little fella,
-Misty

[BabyPink]

It's hard to say how I feel. I do feel stimulated when I dress and put on make-up but not in an obvious sexual way. Now I just feel sexy and better about myself without the usual physical symptoms.

[Heather Daniels]

When I dress, my feminine sexuality certainly shines brighter. All of my thoughts and actions are purely feminine, and I think of myself as being female. When I was younger, dressing almost always ended with self pleasure. Thats not the case anymore, although, there are times....... :o

[Chrissie P]

I had never been with a man until a few years ago. I used to dress for the enjoyment and the sexy feeling. The natural progression for me was to be with a man and it is a wonderful feeling.

The foreplay begins with the E mails, talks on the phone and nice thoughts. The REAL foreplay is getting ready for a date. It is such a sexy feeling to get ready to go out... or in. I find that as a woman I am a bit in charge of the situation because I know he wants me. It is a very interesting feeling, a bit controlling. I like it.

[Miranda09]

I have to agree with Allie and Gabrielle. I love the sexy feeling dressing gives me and my sexual desires seem to become more intense. I haven't yet had the pleasure of experienceing this with a girlfriend (my ultimate experience), but I hope someday I will. And, although clinically there is a difference between sex and sexuality, as far as I'm concerned, you can't have one without the other. They both apply. :)

[Ralph]

I'll probably regret asking, Chrissie, but at what point in the proceedings - if at all - does he found out what kind of plumbing you have under the skirt, and if so how does he react?

[Chrissie P]

They both knew before.

Some men love being with cd's. Interestingly enough they were both married. I guess they felt they weren't cheating if they were not with a GG. Nice relationships too. One lasted over two years.

[cd_glenda4cd]

I Remember when i was about 7, I used to wait for my mom to get out of the house becase as soon i was home alone i would transform myself into a little girl, I really can explain but feeling female clothes would make me feel so good, the fabrics would make me feel so so hot my blood started to pump faster and faster it's something that i remember now that i am older i do it and choose my clothes most of them are sexy black mini items and corsets.:love:

[love heels]

For me its all about feeling sexy dressing turns me on makes me feel very hot, Its always been that way and i hope it always will i get a feeling i don't think i could get from having sex alone. Don't get me wrong i have a fantastic sex life but it does not involve dressing! for me dresing is a non spectators sport may be im not brave enough to give it a try. There is a thought making love dressed in stocking suspenders and heels who knows ! :daydreaming: