Who are CDs suppose to marry ( "Ideal" CD partners)

[Hali]

Hi all, it has always been a tug of war for most CDs between them and their wives/SOs on whether to dress freely and be who they are or hide their CDing and become frustrated, in that line i wanted to know who are CDs suppose to marry (especially bi-CDs) cos it looks as if there are always marriage issues posted on this forum.

[Bernadina]

Yes, there are a lot of marriage issues. Many often stem from not being open with full disclosure prior to marriage. Some due to developing CDing tendencies after marriage that again are kept secret.

As for who to marry, I can only speak from experience. My wife knew before we were married, was and still is very supportive. She has helped me a lot and has only one rule. I cannot go out dressed unless I'm completely dressed and made up.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Sosoft-

Well, I am very happily married, my wife assures me of this on a regular basis. We will be celebrating our 26th anniversary this November. Apparently it is her who I was fated to marry and that is pretty much that.

To be serious for a moment, instead of how I usually am, I am a very, very lucky girl. My wife did know about my tendencies before we were married, but at that time it was more a bit of bedroom kinkiness involving lingerie and so on. Just for fun, more or less. As happens to so many of us, though, as time wore on my girlside seemed to begin to assert itself more and more. So finally I came out to her (and somewhat surprisingly, to myself as well) about the true depths of my feelings some seven years ago or so.

Fortunately, she is a very smart and practical woman and understood that my being TG is a fundamental and virtually unchangeable part of who I am. My girlside is me, just as my male side is as well. So she has been supportive and understanding. This is not to say we have not had our issues, we even seperated for a brief period and, in all honesty, if there were some way to make it all go away and give me amnesia for it all, she would do it in a heartbeat. But being TG is not something that just goes away, though you can hide it and stuff it and pretend like crazy.

As to finding someone who is understanding of it, I guess it's just pure luck, more or less. All I can say, from reading about other's relationships and from personal knowledge of what has happened to friends of mine, is to be honest from the beginning. No, you don't have to wear your pink "TGIRL AND PROUD OF IT" t-shirt on your first date, but once you realize that things may be more than just casual you need to climb up on the high dive, pull up your bikini bottoms nice and snug and take the plunge.

Oh, wow. I can ramble on, can't I? Sorry.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[tricia_uktv]

That's simple. Someone they love surely. The problems are caused because of our unacceptance of who we are when were younger. We didn't know any different then and fought it too hard. Many of us felt that meeting someone we loved would magically cure the cd side - only to find out that it didn't. I think we need to accept who we are first before going looking for love. But then thats easier said than done.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

who are CDs suppose to marry (especially bi-CDs)

Whe I find out that answer I'll let you know....I thought I had the perfect one...but evidently I was wrong...so now I've got to find the anwer to that question all over again!!! Not sure if I will ever try again though....leave it for you younger girls to find out....

[Ralph]

Newsflash, kid. There are "issues" with marriage regardless of how mainstream the couple is. You both go into a relationship carrying some baggage from the past, and it affects how sensitive you are to some subjects.

The trick that seems to be a lost art the past couple of generations is how to deal with those differences in a mature way and keep the marriage intact, even stronger for your differences. You go into it expecting perfection, of COURSE you're going to be disappointed and want to change your mind. Go into it knowing you're both human and both going to make mistakes... and you can be one of the few couples who make it 50, 60 years or more.

But NOOOOOoooooo, now it's all "Ooooh, he snores! I want a divorce!" "She shops too much! I want a divorce!" "There's nothing good on TV! I want a divorce!"

Stupid, shallow, selfish children who should never bloody get married in the first place, they... I'm sorry, what was the question?

[edit: Seriously, no disrespect intended for y'all who have been through a painful divorce after trying like crazy to keep it together. My wrath is purely for the idiots who really do divorce for trivial reasons.]

[MissConstrued]

Amen, brother Ralph. Preach on!

[Sheila]

AS one Special CDER marries me in OCT, I wish for the rest of you to also find that special someone :)

[Nicole Erin]

Who are CD's suppose to marry?
OK, imagine me saying this in a drag queen voice -
Gurl, a CD is suppose to marry a trah-nny, that would be like totally fierce gurl!

[DemonicDaughter]

Well, you marry the same sort of person you would if you weren't a CDer. The person you love who loves you back.

No matter what goes on in life, you aren't going to like everything your partner does. Why would you want to marry a clone anyhow?

No, the issues on these forums are usually person A wanting to expand/explore while person B wants everything to be exactly the same. Now the cder could be either person A or B, mind you.

Its a matter of one person deciding they can no longer live with and/or accept something about their partner.

CDing seems to be a topic because when you are trying to break up with someone you usually try to pick a fight with them. What better way than about something as sensitive as CDing?

[Hali]

It looks as the answers are really far away from our grasp.

Yeah some replies are really nice.........but are CDs stuck with no partners? How many of us can have successful marriages wihout rifts caused by CDing.

[suchacutie]

This really is a core question, and many of us on this site (most?) are intimately affected by how and whom we might partner with for life.

Speaking from the point of view of a M2F transgendered, there are some clear answers to the question, and then there are some less clear:

Clearly, those women who think that men presenting in the female gender is an abomination and a sin will not make good life partners. It might be an altruistic thing to try to "bring them around", but doing it by marrying them is probably not the best of ideas.

That leaves us with those who are either uninformed/neutral, or those who are educated to realize that a M2F tran is someone who will be very very sensitive to their thoughts/desires and outlooks on life. When you find the latter, you are already in business, but my guess is that the former make up the biggest block, so:

It comes back to being alert to those with whom you come into contact to find intelligent and intellectually curious women who seem to be compatible in general, and then start to discuss transgenderism. When intelligent and mature people start looking at each other's ideas and ideals, this is one topic that tends to be left out, but in our case we don't want to leave it out. Once the discussion is started, it will go forward or not, as will the discussion of any other idea/ideal. This is not the only one that could be a "deal-breaker" but it is certainly an important one to all of us.

In the long run, this is just one of the many issues and personal beliefs that should be discussed before marriage for any two people who understand what marriage is all about.

tina

[Kimmy55]

Unless you are one of the Lucky Few,I am guessing if you want to dress freely you may as well resign yourself to being alone.

[Nadia-Maria]

in that line i wanted to know who are CDs suppose to marry (especially bi-CDs) cos it looks as if there are always marriage issues posted on this forum.

Hi Sosoft,

You asked a very relevant question.

I can relate your question to another question I just answered a few days ago in another forum in the course of a more general discussion.

That question was :
. " (...) Does this indicate that crossdressers by and large are actually bisexual, despite their thinking that they are not?"

Then I answered this way :

"We « know » that gender and sexual orientation are « independent » from each other. Therefore I doubt it were promising a hypothesis to link crossdressers to bisexuals and spend much time to check its possible validity.

However I would well hypothetize some transgender people - among those who feel they are simultaneously male and female, without denying to the least extent any of their both genders - can experience being/feeling a straight man when in drab, and a straight woman whenever they are crossdressed and feel like a woman.

For such TGs I’m inclined to believe there might not exist a satisfying (sexual) long-term relationship with any standard GG.
The current choice for them would be to have multiple partners, whether men, women or TGs. Possibly a promising long-term relationship might be the one with another TG just similar to them, able to take the reverse role of either the woman or the man they need, at the moment they would need. If this reverse TG were a born woman being somewhat FTM, then the situation would be quite close to an ideal.

A very accepting, broad-minded, and loving GG can take this dual role, I mean. And can mimick with her TG husband this TG/ reverseTG ideal relationship. Yet a straight GG has to « play a role » to a certain extent – to please her TG partner .
And we know that some GGs have a real talent at simulating. :-) "

[Jessica Who]

I think that regardless of sexuality they should be married to a person that makes them happy, is open-minded and will love them no matter what.

On the other side of the coin, we as cds need to be patient and understanding as well.

It's not an easy road; My wife is accepting and helpful but that doesn't mean we haven't had our share of arguments and crying sessions. Marriage is difficult enough without throwing extra issues in, but EVERYONE has extra issues, not just tgs.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

I think that regardless of sexuality they should be married to a person that makes them happy, is open-minded and will love them no matter what.

On the other side of the coin, we as cds need to be patient and understanding as well.

It's not an easy road; My wife is accepting and helpful but that doesn't mean we haven't had our share of arguments and crying sessions. Marriage is difficult enough without throwing extra issues in, but EVERYONE has extra issues, not just tgs.

Well said, Jessica.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[DemonicDaughter]

It looks as the answers are really far away from our grasp.

Yeah some replies are really nice.........but are CDs stuck with no partners? How many of us can have successful marriages wihout rifts caused by CDing.

Saying "who can crossdressers marry?" is the same as "who can goths marry?" or "who can artists marry?" It doesn't matter your quirk, someone is either going to love and accept you or they aren't. Crossdressing is just another name for your quirk.

I mean, what if you cd AND guzzle beer every night in front of the TV while watching musicals! What if you pick your nose on a daily basis while drinking your morning coffee? What if you make annoying clicking noises while you eat?!

Those are all things someone will or wouldn't put up with. You have as much chances of someone accepting those as you do cding. Why? Because everyone's different. Some people think cding is as "evil" as pink bunnies at Easter. Some people think pink bunnies are Satan's messengers.

To put so much emphasis on only ONE facet of your personality is implying there is NOTHING else about you that could make or break a relationship!

Who should cders date/marry?

Well if you are referring to sexuality, bisexuals seem to fit the bill a great deal better in my opinion.

If you're referring to a social group, goths have the most androgyny.

Now once you find yourself a bisexual goth all you have to do is find THE one and see if they don't mind your other quirks outside of cding.

[Violetgray]

She has helped me a lot and has only one rule. I cannot go out dressed unless I'm completely dressed and made up.

That is the best compromise ever.

[Kimmy55]

Key word "most",not all.

[juliew]

Unless you are one of the Lucky Few,I am guessing if you want to dress freely you may as well resign yourself to being alone.
I am definitely one of the "Lucky Few". In fact, the nicer looking lady in the house often surprises me with an item of clothing. It helps that we both wear the same size. :-)

Juliew

[PaulaSF]

Agree with the bulk of this thread (as one who's been out as a CDer to two wives, tho the first didn't pan out...):

1. Wife knows before you get married (i.e., don't "spring" it on her later, etc.)
2. Compromises will be needed, having to "let go" of some of your desires/wants, in exchange for spouses support (i.e., tough, given the "typical" ramping up of femme urges of most of us t-gals: I was fairly thru this stage, and at something of a plateau, as in out, fairly passable, before meeting 2nd wife)
3. True love and compatability is #1, regardless of adding gender issues, making a life together requires a lot of committment & effort.
4. Don't "put all your eggs in a single basket," as in letting someone's support/interest in your dressing, undermine vaious other red flags, etc.

Between my two mariages, I had sorta assumed I'd partner up with another t-gal, but (re. point #4, above) ended feeling there wasn't enough basis to partner up with any t-gal I knew. Its esp. tough dating other t-gals, as there is so much focus on attentions from guys being "needed" to reinforce the TGs sense of femininty, and wanting/needing the fella as a "beard," but being bi, myself, were I in the "spousal hunt" (my which time, same sex marriage ought to finally be legal in CA!), I'd opt for a t-gal as my husband/wife, and then the arguing over who gets to wear the dress, at the wedding, would begin ;-)

In terms of the gap/"gulf" in understanding what drives & motivates a t-gal, logically having someone on the same page, would appeal, and since marriage is typically defined monogamously, the chances/odds of getting one's bisexual needs met thru a single partner, might also be highest, with a t-gal wife/husband (tho tough if one/both are interested in fully transitioning...).

One thing I've noticed in my decades of being an out & about tranny, is that there is no shortage of niche within a niche sorts of behaviors & desires, as to what "floats one's boat," so this diverse, yet, seemingly highly specific filtering/screening aspect, combined with the typically (and so unfortunate) transitory nature of connections with a t-gal, do present daunting obstacles to on-going, long-term, TG romantic partnerships...

Thus, the "Ideal" spouse likely another TG, but, statistically, prolly a supportive GG ends up being both more "findable" and with more overlap in commonalities to give better odds to the connection (and then have to contend with bi urges outside the house??? so, ultimately not as genuine & honest of a marriage, but better than never having found the elusive "ideal?")

cheers,
Paula

[tanya-uk]

I am also one of the "Lucky Few" I was very open from the start and have been happily married for 11 years now. But it has only really been in the last 6 month's that my wife has been gently encouraging me to come "Out" more. In fact she insisted I join this site. :)

[MissConstrued]

To put so much emphasis on only ONE facet of your personality is implying there is NOTHING else about you that could make or break a relationship!


True dat! I keep trying to point out that this is not the wedge issue in unhappy marriages, even when the wife attacks it.

When I do find a mate who'll put up with all my quirks, my wardrobe will probably be about the least of her concerns. :daydreaming:

[Hali]

Nadia and many others are recommending other TGs as potential partners while Joni Marie is talking about "pure luck" as a source of salvation for CDs in getting life parners. With same sex marriages being antagonised and issues of "pure luck" proving to be stressful, my prediction that CDs will find it really hard/impossible to get "ideal" partners is being vindicated ......... this brings me to the question .......what did nature plan for us am really getting anxious.

[BlondeAngela]

After I transitioned from male to female and became a beautiful, feminine pre-op transwoman, (on estrogen, had facial feminization surgery, breast implants, etc.), I live with a handsome masculine man as his wife.

[Lisa Golightly]

...who are CDs suppose to marry (especially bi-CDs)...

The one you love...

[Shelly Preston]

The one you love...

I could not agree more :)

[Deborah Jane]

The one you love...

You said it girl :)

[Sheila]

The one you love...

Beauty and intelligence ............... what a winner :)

[Di]

The one you love...

There really isn't any other answer as I see it. :yrtw: Lisa

[gender_blender]

Hi all, it has always been a tug of war for most CDs between them and their wives/SOs on whether to dress freely and be who they are or hide their CDing and become frustrated, in that line i wanted to know who are CDs suppose to marry (especially bi-CDs) cos it looks as if there are always marriage issues posted on this forum.

Any marriage initially based on lies will eventually crumble.
Look for open-mindedness or bisexuality in a potential partner. Or join an online crossdressers/admirers dating site.

Personally I'd never date a tranny chaser, but it's an option.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Any woman who'd want to marry me would have to be a nutter :werd: and I wouldn't want to marry a nutte :chained::banana:. No way Pedro :devil:

[Deb The Brunette]

The one you love...


Yeah but yer gotta make sure they love you back ....innit


.

[DianneW]

I'm lucky, told her long before we married, she's been very supportive & helpful.... but .... if we were to separate or worse, I think I would not pursue the marriage route again. Breaking in a new one is just too much work, I have a lot of very good memories to keep me for the rest of my days

[MissConstrued]

After I transitioned from male to female and became a beautiful, feminine pre-op transwoman, (on estrogen, had facial feminization surgery, breast implants, etc.), I live with a handsome masculine man as his wife.


Mmm, yes... and the modesty implants are working well, too. :devil:

And the relevance-osterone reducers must be really kicking in. I believe the OP asked the question of CD'ers.

[Kathi Lake]

Mmm, yes... and the modesty implants are working well, too. :devil:

And the relevance-osterone reducers must be really kicking in. I believe the OP asked the question of CD'ers.Hey, the only modesty implants they had in stock were AAs. The fantasy implants, however, double-Ds. :)

Kathi

[Pauline Lauren]

The one you love...
As usual Lisa to the point and oh so true.
:hugs:
>>>hugs<<<
Pauline

[battybattybats]

Plenty of cis women and cis men are TG-attracted.

And a few I know are in relationships with Cis-men or Cis-women. At least one because their family and peers wouldn't accept a TG partner and from what I hear thats common.

So we are suppossed to marry the TG-attracted men and women and TGs and they us.

And to do that they too must overcome the transphobia that leads plenty to look at TG porn and TG celebrities and visit TG prostitutes (and I'm still talking about Cis-women as well as Cis-men here) but not have an Out relationship with a TG person.

Which means we need to work together not just to help TG people come out but TG-fanciers too to help make it acceptable to bring a TG home to have dinner with their parents.

[Satrana]

As a general idea, you realy need to be with a woman who is strong minded and independent. They have to be willing to go against the grain and explore new ideas and feelings.

Women who are plugged into mainstream society and follow all the latest trends are less likely to make a suitable partner as they believe in the masculinity myth and think a man degrades himself and loses his strength by displaying femininity. Even if she tolerates it, she will likely suffer from transphobia which means you will still live a closeted existence to protect her from her fears.

There are definitely more than enough open minded women out there to pair with all the CDs in the world, but it is up to you to put yourself forward and be honest from the start. Leaving this to blind luck will lead to many disappointments.

[Hali]

The one you love...

OK there are so many CDs who love their girlfriends dearly but the girlfriends run away after discovering they CD............my point is loving someone by a CD doesnt automatically guarantee love from that person (if they discover you CD) not to talk of marrying them.

[Hali]

As a general idea, you realy need to be with a woman who is strong minded and independent. They have to be willing to go against the grain and explore new ideas and feelings.

Women who are plugged into mainstream society and follow all the latest trends are less likely to make a suitable partner as they believe in the masculinity myth and think a man degrades himself and loses his strength by displaying femininity. Even if she tolerates it, she will likely suffer from transphobia which means you will still live a closeted existence to protect her from her fears.

There are definitely more than enough open minded women out there to pair with all the CDs in the world, but it is up to you to put yourself forward and be honest from the start. Leaving this to blind luck will lead to many disappointments.

Satrana its suprising how you are able to capture my thots and the project am on right now. My SO is abit tom-boyish she is OK with my CD, but yeah "fixed in mainstream society" so to say likes men as men and women as women, her mind is fixed on what the society expects, she is also fashion trendy ............she said something that really scared me which was......she will die if any body discovers i CD and call/assume am gay.

The irony is she is a "concentrated" tomboy

[Lisa Golightly]

OK there are so many CDs who love their girlfriends dearly but the girlfriends run away after discovering they CD............my point is loving someone by a CD doesnt automatically guarantee love from that person (if they discover you CD) not to talk of marrying them.

There are no guarentees in love and no 'type' that will accept you as a cd. It is a personal thing and acceptance is a love thing. That's why we have all those trite phrases like 'love conquers all' and 'love is blind'.

If a person finds out they don't know who the hell you are... well then it ends really really fast. If they knew before and either put up with it or accept it then it is done for love.

Back in the day when I had girlfriends and was a CD boyfriend... well the girls were all types really... but I loved them all in their way and had been honest with them from the start. Levels of acceptance varied from 'ewwwww' to 'phooaaaarr' but it was them I loved... not their attitude to my dressing.

Of course as someone has pointed out this is a CD thread and a CD issue, so the things that have happened as a TS remain unspoken and unheard.

[sometimes_miss]

Yes, who are we supposed to marry. I wish I knew. When you find out, let me know too.

[Blaire]

Does the answer get any simpler if you drop the labels?

You just can't say "Oh, you're an M-CDer. You need to pair up with an M-bi-Metro-whateverhaveyou for marriage". Life doesn't work that way.

As mostly said before - the person you marry is the person you love AND the person that loves you - preferrably at the same time. If that person doesn't accept you for who you are or vice versa for all yours/their quirks/baggage/habits/etc, then it's not marriage material. At least, not mateiral for an enduring marriage.

With 6 billion people on this world - there's certainly someone for everyone. Yes, I admit, the CDer will find it harder, will have to put in more effort, face more trials and tribulations, and will certainly face a greater degree of rejection, but there is always the chance of finding "the one."

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Hi all, it has always been a tug of war for most CDs between them and their wives/SOs on whether to dress freely and be who they are or hide their CDing and become frustrated, in that line i wanted to know who are CDs suppose to marry (especially bi-CDs) cos it looks as if there are always marriage issues posted on this forum.

Who are cd's supposed to marry? A woman that LOVES them completely - the masculine AND feminine.

These women DO exist. I married one. She displayed interest in seeing me crossdress long before we got married and long before I ever came out to her. SHE is the one who brought it up to me - even asked me to wear a miniskirt for her just weeks after we started dating. If you're curious, you can read the full account of how I came out to my wife and how she displayed interest in seeing me in her clothes here (http://www.mycdlife.com/2009/03/how-i-came-out-to-my-wife).

I have a wonderful marriage. My wife loves ALL of me, not just my man-side. She's very accepting of my feminine side and even enjoys it. Our marriage is not perfect, but seldom does a problem arise because of my crossdressing.

Keep in mind that people are more likely to talk about their problems in a public forum like this. There are plenty of happily married cd's with accepting wives. How many are members of this forum? Don't know. How many will never join an online community and talk about it? No way to tell.

There are women who would prefer a man that cd's. It's not exactly easy to find them - it's not one of those things you can just ask when you first meet someone. But there are ways to bring it up in conversation without outing yourself or the true nature of why you brought it up.

One thing about my wife - she was actually embarrassed about her occasional desire to see a man dressed up as a woman at first. I'm sure other woman may still be feeling that kind of embarrassment because of the whole social taboo of crossdressing.

If you truly want a woman who is into cding, you will end up with one. Just like anything in life, you're going to have to work at it and do some research - mainly pick the brain of women you meet to some extent. It might not hurt to try an online dating service and make it fully visible that you're a crossdresser in your profile. Women who are looking for that in a man, will be able to easily find you.

Cd or not, it is no easy task to find the right woman. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? Forget about cd's - people in general often marry the wrong partner, and end up in divorce court. Never settle for a girl. Get the RIGHT one.

If you're bi, men who are into crossdressers are a dime a dozen. I get hit on by them constantly in my facebook account (even though it clearly spells out I'm NOT seeking additional romance and that I'm VERY happily married). You want a man? Get a facebook account and start networking. They'll find you. Trust me. ;) Actually, that's probably a terrible way to actually hook up with someone, but it does prove the point that men who want a crossdressing man are very plentiful.

Good luck to you, Sosoft. :)

[Marissa Anne]

Whatever your sexual spectrum, if you marry, and you're not in a mutually agreed polyamorous marriage/union, then it's really irrelevant because you'll be with that person for the rest of your life, monogamously. Otherwise, don't marry.

You might feel yourself attracted to others throughout your relationship, but that's natural. It's whether you act on it or not that decides your fate.

If it's really love, then go for it. If you're bi, consider yourself lucky that you have twice the field of play to work from!

Marissa

[Hali]

Thank u all for all ur kind replies it really helps.

Gabrielle arent u brave?............all CDs are brave especially those out of the closet.

[BarbiB]

Marriage. Just don't do it.

[Tasha McIntyre]

One of the funniest lines I ever heard was from a movie from the 80's called 'Roadhouse', starring Patrick Swayze. One old fella tells him "don't ever marry an ugly woman, that'll take the starch right out of ya"

On a more serious note - I was lucky enough to marry someone not only who I love (and lust :eek:), but also someone I like and genuinely enjoy being around.

I'm generalising a bit here based on own experience only, but I think as CDers we assess the level of social tolerance our prospective partners have, with the view of coming out to them at some stage.

Cheers

Tash :)

[Joni T]

I've been married to a real GG for almost 23 years. She knew about my CD'ing before we tied the knot. She's ok with it except for one thing---before I got brave enough to just "go out" I'd dress and stay at home with her, make dinner, have a glass of wine or two, you know, just hang out with the wife. Her big beef with me now is that ever since I discovered that I could "just go out", I don't stay home and share Joni with her any more. I tell her, "hey. It takes me 2-3 hours to get ready so of course I want to go out and show it off". I asked her once, would she spend 2 hours getting all dressed up and then just stay home with me? She said "Yes". Well, I'm still waiting for that one to happen. Half of the time if we're going out I can't get her to wear a nice dress/skirt if I don't beg her to do so. Oh how I miss the 1950's/60's when women dressed up just to go do the grocery shopping (a la June Cleaver). I loved High School dress codes where girls had to dress in dresses/skirts. Imagine that................girls actually looking like, and dressing like.............girls.
Joni

[Samantha Girl]

Nadia- Maria had such well articulated ideas on the 1st page, I should not even speak :p

She said " "We « know » that gender and sexual orientation are « independent » from each other. Therefore I doubt it were promising a hypothesis to link crossdressers to bisexuals and spend much time to check its possible validity.

However I would well hypothetize some transgender people - among those who feel they are simultaneously male and female, without denying to the least extent any of their both genders - can experience being/feeling a straight man when in drab, and a straight woman whenever they are crossdressed and feel like a woman. "

1st part: I've read that and my girl was very pleased to read that in her research after I came out as a CDer to her :)

2nd part: This point is key for me. I haven't mentioned this before, nervous :cute: Most times when I dress up I am pretty much pretending to be a ****ty chick. So I play around sexually with stuff, playing the role, which I love. Now I'm not much attracted to men (very occasionally), and I love women, never been with a guy. BUT when I'm Samantha I play with sex toys...

Sooooo call me gay, call me straight, call me confused, I don't care! :p Because I have a fiance who knows about all of it and loves me just the same, I am very lucky and I know it :cheer:

Hardest thing in the world was to tell her I cross dress, but I felt like I couldn't ask her to marry me until she new the truth, new all of me, new Samantha :) She's not the only understanding women out there, good luck sweety! ;)

[Bev06 GG]

Hi all, it has always been a tug of war for most CDs between them and their wives/SOs on whether to dress freely and be who they are or hide their CDing and become frustrated, in that line i wanted to know who are CDs suppose to marry (especially bi-CDs) cos it looks as if there are always marriage issues posted on this forum.

How about someone that loves you for who you are. Seen as marriage is all about honesty, or atleast it should be, starting off on the right foot is a good option. It someone can't accept what you do, then no matter how hard you try there will always be an underlying current of discontent in the relationship.
And no matter how much you think you love them, sooner or later their disapproval and inability to compromise will become a stumbling block for both of you and your love could very well turn to resentment. Although it has to be said that some GGs have coped magnificently even though they do not like it one bit so there are always going to be exceptions to the rule, but it isn't something I'd like to take a risk on.
I know that accepting spouses are few and far between so that does kind of narrow the field down a tad but take heart we do exist. I am a firm believer that if you really do love someone you can accept most things and find a way to live happily ever after, after all marriage is all about compromise. I think sometimes we forget that Mr or Mrs perfect dont exist and there will always be something that we have to compromise over, that to me is the beauty of love because I know for everything I have to compromise over, so too does my partner and that kind of makes me feel very special and accepted.
Take care
Bev

[Samantha Girl]

That was just lovely Bev :)

[vjaducd]

Nadia and many others are recommending other TGs as potential partners while Joni Marie is talking about "pure luck" as a source of salvation for CDs in getting life parners. With same sex marriages being antagonised and issues of "pure luck" proving to be stressful, my prediction that CDs will find it really hard/impossible to get "ideal" partners is being vindicated ......... this brings me to the question .......what did nature plan for us am really getting anxious.
I am also insearch of an Ideal c.d.partner can come close to me for either being a true friend or a life partner willingly.Welcome C.D.s
vjaducd