Other interests

[Teri Jean]

Recently I have taken on another position that will devide my free time into another more complex pie. As they say to many irons in the fire. The question is "do we sometimes get ourselves into other interests to curb our CDing or are some of us just more community oriented?". Now that is not to say those who do not volunteer or get involved in outside organizations or projects are bad people but they have a different focus.

I guess for me it is the inability to say no and the deire to be accepted by those around me. With my CDing I have such a wonderful family of girls to chat with as well as those of my family that know. The support is wonderful but the other interests in my life have become almost burdonsome. Give me your take as it fits your circumstances.:hugs:

Keli

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Trans people seem to have an affinity for hobbies (especially railways ;)). I think psychologists call it a displacement activity.

[Persephone]

Recently I have taken on another position that will devide my free time into another more complex pie. As they say to many irons in the fire. The question is "do we sometimes get ourselves into other interests to curb our CDing or are some of us just more community oriented?". Now that is not to say those who do not volunteer or get involved in outside organizations or projects are bad people but they have a different focus.

I guess for me it is the inability to say no and the deire to be accepted by those around me. With my CDing I have such a wonderful family of girls to chat with as well as those of my family that know. The support is wonderful but the other interests in my life have become almost burdonsome. Give me your take as it fits your circumstances.:hugs:

Keli

I think I can relate to what you are saying, Keli. I have a couple of voluntary community activities that involve my "guy self." And yes, they do take away from my girl time and I'm beginning to feel conflicted about that.

On the other hand, I do enjoy both worlds and keep volunteering in those positions.

But there is another path too. I am active in a congregation's ladies auxilliary and have lately been thinking about heading out to volunteer in some community organizations en femme.

[Ralph]

Trans people seem to have an affinity for hobbies (especially railways ;)).

That is SO true. The only people in the world with hobbies are TG.

[tricia_uktv]

I think only we, each individually, will know.

[Angie G]

My wife not being able to do some of the house work keeps me going along with A 40+ hr. job not much time left for other things hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Teri Jean]

I figured that a saying an person I had worked for many decade ago put it the best, "busy hands are happy hands", OMG I hated that saying. But as my CDing has progressed, smiles, I find my involvement outside my world of Keli has also expanded. A co-worker said it the best when he said "you need to step back and enjoy yourself". Little does he know how much fun I am Having, woooohooooo. It's just not his cup of tea.


Thanks for your input. Huggs Keli

[Shari]

Of the two nights a week I have to dress (wife works on those nights) one of them is taken up by an organization I belong to.

I too, suffer some confliction when I'm at the meetings thinking how much happier I'd be at home enjoying the silkiness and softness I've come to love.
I've missed several nights of meetings, by the way. Sometimes the urges are just too strong.

[Leanne2]

Because of my work schedule I don't belong to any organizations other than church. And I miss that half the time. Every two days I work a different shift. Every week my two days off change. On some weeks I only get one day off. And I work holidays and every Saturday of the year so I never get a weekend off. Try working that into your social schedule.
One good thing is that usually my days off are during the week when most of the stores and businesses are open. I like that. Leanne

[Teri Jean]

Shari I know the feeling and at times when I'm underdressed the feeling is so intense focusing is out of the question. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes. giggles

Keli

[DianneW]

I'm not sure I understand the post correctly, I have several hobbies & yes, one of them is railroads, yet I do not consider myself TG, never even thought about it that way. What, if any is the connection???

[JoAnne Wheeler]

One of my hobbies is model railroads - if you really think about it, in model railroading, we try to create the impression of a real RR - we build and landscape, etc - and in CDing, we build our impression of our feminine self - personally, I like CDing more than model RRing

JoAnne Wheeler

[Teri Jean]

For those who are having difficulty in my post, and it's probably me, I was asking if the time we spend doing other activities cuts into your CD time. Also do you take on other activities to control time you spend on Cding? I'm one that seems to need something to do, being involved and looking for acceptance in the organizations I belong to.

I would prefer not to be that way because it would make my life less stressful and also give me more time to be myself.

Huggs Keli

[Babette]

]....The question is "do we sometimes get ourselves into other interests to curb our CDing or are some of us just more community oriented?". Now that is not to say those who do not volunteer or get involved in outside organizations or projects are bad people but they have a different focus.

Keli, after reading your question and reading some of the responses, I was confused to where this was all heading. CD'ing or not, I have always been one to either volunteer or allowed myself to become volunteered for outside organizations. It was not until later years did I realize the importance of managing my time better. Don't get me wrong, I am still involved but I believe I have a better vision of what's really important in my life. So with that, I've learned that it is OK to say no to seemingly good causes.

I don't believe that my other interests or involvements are a diversion to my CD'ing. My issue stems from a desire to try a lot of different things. As I often say, "Oh, so many interests yet so little time!" Yes, I truly have too many hobbies and aspirations, but that is OK too. If doing something makes you feel good, then is it all that bad?

Babette

[PaulaSF]

Interseting thread, Keli.

Not sure as to the degree of coincidence, but here, near Silicon Valley, where, as expected, a lot of middle-aged men are in analytical/engineering type careers, common hobbies are both model railroading & ham radio...

Like my dressing, my interest in various other hobbies tends to wax & wane. And I'm as guilty of anyone in having far too many interests.

Think it comes to to balance, and discretionary income.

There are only so many hours in a week, so time spent prepping, and out en femme, reduces time for other interests.

And to be a stylish gal tends to not be particularly cheap, so one has to set the priorites aound available $

One thing I've been focused on, this year, is to try and do more active & outdoorsy stuff en femme, thus kinda "killing two birds, with one stone."

I've found the best motivation for proper diet & exercise for a middle-aged guy, is desiring to be the best looking gal, possible. Thus, one, over times, finds the 300 pounders, on motorized scooters, one sees at railroad, or radio, conventions, etc., more than a bit of a warning/wake up call.

I also feel that we would do well to fight against the overly pervasive "pink fog," esp. the clubbing, drinking, and late night focus that almost defines the sense of t-community, and keep our hands in interests that broaden, rather than restrict our worldviews, and sense of self. This, to my mind, is the area to address re. guilt, or not doing good things, etc.- letting one aspect of one's life dominate, to the detriment of multiple other positive options.

In larger cities, there are churches & volunteer opportunites that one can avail themselves OF, en femme, in addition to educational, or lecture sorts of things; both of which are great for the mind AND the soul, which, regardless of where we are in the gender continuim, makes us better people.

And simply being supportive friends to sister TGs, making a point of mentoring newer gals, and helping them to realize the joy that awaits them, outside their lonely closets, is a great way to repay the community, while enjoying femme time, all at once.

We all need to work on being happy, whole, souls, which is really only complicated by tossing in how to split this between two aspects of a single life.

No one ever said it was easy, being a gal (esp. when one is born a guy!).

cheers,
Paula

[Jaclyn NM]

I am more than just a crossdresser, and have many other interests. I think we all need balance in our lives. For instance, I got up early this morning, and played 18 holes of golf. As soon as I got home, I took a shower, shaved my legs, and put on some stocking and my favorite heels, which I'm still wearing. Life doesn't get any better than this. By the way, in the winter, it's skiing, hot tub, then dressing. I love it!

[Danielle Gee]

I am more than just a crossdresser, and have many other interests. I think we all need balance in our lives. For instance, I got up early this morning, and played 18 holes of golf. As soon as I got home, I took a shower, shaved my legs, and put on some stocking and my favorite heels, which I'm still wearing. Life doesn't get any better than this. By the way, in the winter, it's skiing, hot tub, then dressing. I love it!

I don't play golf (or ski for that matter) but I agree that we all need balance in our lives, and we all (sooner or later) find it in our own way. I'd be willing to bet that even you girls that dress 24/7 don't spend all your time thinking about girly things.....Nice thread BTW:thumbsup:

[linnea]

I have other interests, but most of them can be followed or pursued en femme or drab. I'm working toward more en femme activity.

[DianneW]

I can pursue my other interests dressed or not depending on how I feel but they do not conflict with each other, more like support. Keeping things well rounded & me happy is the way I like it.

[Ms Mira]

I'm a bit obsessive with my interests...

Then again, I have the time for it considering I haven't really been dressing lately and have been single for a while.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

...but the other interests in my life have become almost burdonsome. Give me your take as it fits your circumstances.:hugs:

Keli

One by one my other interests have been dropping off over the years. It has little to do with my crossdressing a LOT to do with the fact that I simply find myself with fewer minutes of personal time in each day as the years go by.

I work long hours. I exercise up to 2 and a half hours a day (recently increased because of my slowing metabolism). There is an ever growing list of maintenance projects around the house that needs attending to. It's summertime and our yard can be high maintenance at times. Lots of shrubs and bushes to trim and big lawn to mow. Garden needs attendance...

I could go on, but I'll spare you. I hardly ever watch TV, except for an hour with my wife each night as part of our together-time. I used to be an avid gamer, but there's little time for that now... although I dropped that in order to have some time to maintain my website (http://www.mycdlife.com) and presence in tg communities (ironically I'll be posting a story about that on my blog tomorrow).

So gaming has been given up, mostly, as a direct result NOT of my crossdressing, but my desire to show the world that we're not freaks by sharing my life online with my website and offer help and guidance to my sisters in need (in addition to just enjoying the company of people like me).

I get so little time to actually crossdress these days, it would be hard to say I've given anything up to do so. In my case, everything has been given up do to other time consuming factors in my life. If anything, I really do need more femme-time! A few hours every week or two ain't nothing but cd-life support to me. :(

Life has become burdensome for me, but I do what I can to squeeze in a little time for here and there. Oh, hanging out with friends? I gave that up YEARS ago. Never had many, but life got too busy to be running places and going to social gatherings (which I'm not really a big fan of anyway).

Wish I had some better advice for you. Instead, I'm kind of venting about my own lack of time. Sorry about that. If you're not getting enough you-time, maybe you just need to tell your friends you have other plans from time to time - plans to simply relax on your own. :)