Dating men

[Monica93304]

Hello. I don't participate much in this forum, but some folks may know that I had a GG SO. We'll we've been apart for a few months. Not to go into specifics, we grew apart. Mainly, because I've changed with time in a manner that my CD'ng / Feminine side has grown very strong.

So, now I'm going to start metting men which seems more natural to me at this point in my life. I've chatted with a few men on Dating Sites with no results yet. I'm sure that in due time something will happen.

I hope that it goes well. I'm just going to be myself and see what happens. This is a huge step for me.

Wish me luck.

Monica.

[Lauren Richards]

Monica,
Best of luck in your new path. I think everyone needs to find what makes them happy, and share that with others. Like Yogi Berra said "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Be careful. Be happy.

Lauren

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Good luck...but just as they are with gg's men are the same with us...DOGS!!!! Most of what you'll find are married and they are only in it for a "hit and run"....

JMHO

[Teri Jean]

Monica,

You need to find your own path and I hope you take care as men can be really crappy. I have found that my path will remain with women as I relate better with them.

Keli

[Barbara Dugan]

I think is very natural, I am into the same just make sure that you are sure of what you want.while is true there are some crappyones there are also guys that are worthwhile our time and effort:love:

[jckie]

I like men myself, but yes, they can be such jerks. For me there is nothing better then to be held in his arms, I get the feeling of being being taken care of, that he will stand up for me. Not to mention the intense pleasure of opening myself up to him, there is nothing more intimate then that.

[gender_blender]

You'll do fine. Men who are sexually attracted to trans/CDers occurs so frequently that there's a name for the orientation. It's "gynandromorphophilia" from the latin root words which literally mean "the love of individuals who change genders".
Personally, men have nothing to offer me that I don't already have, so I'm reserved for the hot bi chicks only.

[Chrissie P]

Men were a natural progression for me. I can develop an extremely strong emotional and sexual attraction for the right man. The feeling of being held, touched and dominated by a man is a huge turn on for me.

You do have to be careful. Take your time and find the right person. To find someone for a one night stand is easy, but you will not be fullfilled. If you find a guy who cares for you...DON'T LET HIM GO !!!!

[PaulaSF]

Monica,

I've mainly dated other t-gals, the past few decades, but have dated a number of men, too, and unfortunately have to side with those warning you off of most admirers/chasers.

To oversimplify, my experience has been that the guys are looking for the quickest & cheapest manner of geting laid, and feel that t-gals are, generally, an "easy mark." Often, guys have "failed" in their dating of GGs, and approach t-gal dating as baggage-free, and easier. But some genuinely prefer a t-gal, though this is often fueled by their wanking to Internet ******* porn, so they have unrealistic ideas re. "realworld" t-gals (hormones & breast implants being two, often "conflicting" considerations!)

The conquest/notch in the belt mindset is quite pervasive, and that results in a world of dissapointment, emptiness, frustration, and shallowness!

Its unfortunate, that most guys end up treating as like unpaid escorts, or a once every 6-8 week "booty call," when they get horny enough to get back in touch with us. To me, frequent communication/contact, and caring about more in each other's life than hot trannysex is a great litmus test as to the dating prospects of an individual!

This leads one (well, at least me ;-), to become a "Rules Girl" insofar as dating men; I wait until after multiple nice evenings out, before indulging in penetrative sex (tho this has resulted in fun courtship, wining & dining, then reverting to form, once "Mission Acomplished"). Of course this gets me labeled as "high maintenance" or as a "gold-digger," but I see no point in doing a fella's bidding, over a few labels tossed my way!

I also take the approach that I want to spend as much time out doing something, as prep & travel time combined (so, typically, 3-4 hours). Whereas you'll be getting pressured for 20 minute closeted quickies, or mid-day motel sneakaways, all in the guy's, not your, favor, as he sneaks around on his wife. This, alone, has been quite helpul, in finding the more serious dating candidates.

"Coming out" (in the sense of being a t-gal, wanting to date, and ultimately be "taken" by men) many decades after such normal feelings of a born gal are dealt with, leaves a situation wherein someone is 30-50 years old, with access to clubs, and hotel rooms, yet with the tender sensibilities of a 13 year-old girl, in the first throes of becoming "boy crazy" can be a recipe for being, ultimately, taken advantage of.

And those intial feelings & sensations can be tough to control, and slow down, but it all boils down to the fact that a classy gal (either trans, or natal) isn't willing to let herself be used, and discarded. So, just hang in there, and have some patience, enjoy dating guys, but take your time in going "all the way."

Perhaps find a local TG "wingwoman?"

Always make a point of meeting at a neutral, public place on blind dates, and don't take the attitude of, "Well I took all the trouble to get dressed, an drive someplace, so might as well follow things to their natural conclusion," should be helpful tips...

Hope you can find a decent guy! But given your recent seperation, etc., treat this as a rebound/learning curve, and gain experience dating a number of guys, to really understand the "game," for yourself! Don't set out "searching for Mr. Right," as you're totally new to dating guys, and they'll be trying to take advantage of that/you...

cheers,
Paula

cheer

[Janine G]

Exercise some caution and go slow. I've only been with 2 men, and that was many years ago. My experiences weren't very positive. I think if things had gone better, I might still date men. Give yourself enough time to figure out what kind of person they are before getting intimate. Above all, be safe.

[BlondeAngela]

Monica,
You will love being a lady and dating men.

The more feminine you get, the better at looking, acting and dressing as a beautiful feminine woman, the more you can attract handsome masculine classy guys who are into sexy, beautiful feminine ladyboys and transwomen.
You may even meet a guy you want to live with as his lady, and he as your man.
Many ladyboys and transwomen do.
Dress your beautiful and feminine. And take the same dating precautions and follow the same essential rules of dating as genetic women do when they date men, but there are men out there that are into ladyboys, and of course be honest with the guy and let him know you are a ladyboy.

There are certain types of guys out there, some of them divorced men in their 30s or 40s with ex-wives and children, who are into beautiful feminine ladyboys and transwomen.

I have fully transitioned from male to female, I am a beautiful feminine pre-op transwoman (am on estrogen and anti-androgens, had facial feminization surgery, breast implants, etc..), and I love being a lady.

I live with my man, a handsome masculine guy, essentially as his wife. He adores me, and loves sexy transwomen, and we have a wonderful relationship.

Best to ya in your quest to becoming a beautiful feminine lady and dating handsome masculine men, the sort of men who are into beautiful feminine ladyboys such as ourselves.

Lady Angela

[ReineD]

helpful tips...

cheers,
Paula

Paula, your account and advice on dating admirers is the best and most objective I have ever read. Thank you so much for sharing this!!

:hugs:

[Deb The Brunette]

Just try and sift out the slimeball married ones :Pullhair:




:ukflag:

[MJ]

I wish you all the best sis. just remember to make sure for your safety you keep a record names phone numbers web addresses just in case anything would go wrong that works for gg as well. we need to be safe not sorry or dead bad things happen to good people too.

and remember sis no glove no love... in what ever your doing. just be careful out there be safe.

[denise-x]

You have received probably the best advise from all the girls here that can be given. Just remember be careful. I have been with several men who were sincere and some just horny slimeballs.

But, I finally did meet one man who is loving and kind to me. There is nothing like being in the arms of a loving man and just cuddling, huggging and kissing. Sex becomes secondary, but, something special.
:hugs:

[Melissa Rose]

Monica, the advice already given is great. Following your head and gut is important. Your built-in warning meter is surprisingly accurate. If something does not seem right in the initial contacts with a guy, disengage and walk away. This often comes out in e-mail messages and chat conversations. My limited experience has shown the intelligent and articulate men are the better ones. Don't be in a major hurry to get too intimate even though parts of you wants to. Being a CD or t-girl does not change things - most GGs don't immediately jump into bed on first dates.

I've been on a handful of quiet and fairly private dates with men. Two were in a hurry to get intimate, fairly aggressive about it and ignored some of my wishes; two were gentlemen, respectful and treated me like a lady; and one was in-between. Guess which two I spent more time with and was more intimate with? Even though I tried to screen my dates as best as reasonably possible, some are smooth talkers and put on a good front for a short time.

Most importantly, be totally safe and be prepared. Having pepper spray in my purse made me feel a little safer in case something got out of hand. Also, initially protect your real identity and location. I managed to get a persistent and aggressive on-line stalker. He literally begged me daily for almost 4 weeks to go out with him even though I nicely, but definitely, turned him down. I was very glad he had no way of locating me. I finally had to abandon that email address so I could get some peace of mind.

So, be careful and be choosy - you deserve it. Being on a date with a guy who enjoys your company, appreciates who you are and respects you is a totally joyful experience and a great way to feel feminine. I love looking great and pleasing a man when things are right. Sometimes it can take a few tries to find Prince Charming. Go for it, girl.

[Elle44]

I can't add to anything that's been said especially about the warnings and going slow and be HONEST, right from the start.

I've been involved with one man in my entire life. We met at a retreat house during a weekend of a catholic spiritual retreat. When he entered the conference room on Friday night it was like he lit up the whole room and then our eyes met and we stared and smile, stared and smiled, stared and smiled. After he registered I introduced myself. The chemistry was there immediately for both of us. The whole weekend I spent watching him and dreaming of him. We went out for about 2 weeks and he moved in with me. We were together for 3 years. After 2 1/2 years he was different, coming home late, no intimacy, no sex, no sharing, no communication, no more dinners out, and I dressed to the hilt when we went out. Then he would not come home for a day or two toward the end. We split after 3 blissful years.

See he was gay and really didn't want a TG with the soft touch, and gentleness, and cooked, cleaned, and loved the devil out of him. No he wanted the athletic, masculine, hairy, beer drinking mans man. The dream of gay men, the top prize. Well I hurt for a few years.

Now I would prefer to be with a TG girl in the Autumn of my life, one just like me. Be careful even with gay men! Be sure you carry protection if you go further than kissing and petting, hard to control after a certain point,
Good Luck and be yourself and enjoy! Elle

[vikki2020]

Good luck, Monica!

[kayesimone]

Good luck Monica!
be selective, be careful and be happy!
...and keep us updated!
(you have really great looking lips by the way)

[Hali]

I like men myself, but yes, they can be such jerks. For me there is nothing better then to be held in his arms, I get the feeling of being being taken care of, that he will stand up for me. Not to mention the intense pleasure of opening myself up to him, there is nothing more intimate then that.

Thats hot

[Teri Jean]

Monica, I want to wish you luck and please be careful. I wouldn't worry about how long it takes but more about the individual you choose to date.

Take care sis, Teri

[Monica93304]

Hi girls. Thank you for ALL of the wonderful advice.

I still haven't had anything happen.

1. Being selective.
2. Going through a lot professionally. I'm a starving small business owner.
3. As part of being selective, I turned down a lot of young guys. I'd prefer someone near my own age, not married.


But please keep the good thoughts and advice coming.

I hope I do meet prince charming soon.

Xoxo,

Monica.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Monica,

When dating Men use the same procedure you would for dating woman.

Make sure you have a good sample first and that it is not contaminated.. On second thought, with all the C14 that was created by The nuclear tests of the 1950's , and the fact that humans are now burning large amounts of "fossil fuel". As the name suggests, fossil fuel is old, and no longer contains C14. Both of these man-made changes are a nuisance to carbon dating maybe carbon dating isn't such a good idea..

OK. Just ask him for his drivers licence or sheriff's id instead. But be aware it may be "Fake". If you can't tell the difference ask the bartender to take a look at it. They usually have more experience.

Actually I haven't got any idea what I'm talking about here. But it does stand to reason that the procedure has got to be a lot like dating a woman. Just hairier. At least you don't have to stand at the door for 30 minutes waiting for "him" to finish getting ready before you can take him out. Unless he's coming to pick you up. In which case, take as much time as you need by all means.

I'd be a little bit leery about going out with some one you meet on one of those dating web sites.
Aren't there any men around the town where you live? Somebody that you know and who knows you?

The only guy I would have ever even considered going out with, as a friend, was a gentleman I met working on a construction site in VA. He was always very nice to me on the job site watching me climb up into the ceilings and dangle from the pipes some 50 ft above the floor to seal up the holes in the walls with caulk so it would pass the fire inspection. Along with my ladies steeled toe work boots & gloves, I wore an old pair of woman's jeans and a tee-shirt because the red caulk tended to get on everything, even in my hair which I had pulled back and pined up.

The day I left VA and was filling up my car with gas at a station on the outskirts of town he pulled up in a pickup truck with a friend. He was in the passenger seat. He rolled down the window and shouted my name,"Dawn." I recognized his voice and walked over to visit while my tank finished filling. I was wearing my typical blue jeans, only these ones were nicer fitting and cleaner, white tee shirt and no bra.. I hadn't had my implants done yet but I had my adhesive breast forms underneath my tee. I hated wearing a bra.. And I liked the way the forms felt without it. More natural.

We talked for a few minutes while his friend went into the store to buy some beer because it was Friday. He asked me how I was doing and why he hadn't seen me around at the construction site. I told him that was because I had finished the job there an the foreman sent me to another site where I was needed. He asked me where I was going. I told him I was moving back up to New York State. He frowned. Then asked me why I didn't like it VA? I told him just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I won't be back someday. I told him why I was heading to NY. To see my oldest brother's grave site in Binghamton and pay my respects. I hadn't visited there in over 20 years. Figured it was about time. He asked me how my brother died. I told him. In a motorcycle accident. He could see how much that bothered me. "I sorry about your bother." He said sincerely. I touched his hand. "That's sweet ." I said. Just then his idiot friend came back and jumped in the pickup. "What are you talking to her for? " he asked. "You know what she is don't you?" To which the gentleman replied, "Yes. She's a nice lady!" He waived goodbye to me saying, "Maybe I'll see you again when you come back?" I smiled. "Maybe."

Monica, you are probably wondering what the point of this story is? So here it is. That's the type of guy you should be looking for if you really want to try dating a man! That was a "real" man. And there aren't many of them out there. Don't settle for anyone less than somebody that is going to treat you like a lady. Somebody who, even after seeing you at your worst, still looks at you with gentle eyes and sees the real you.

Be safe. Be smart.

[Monica93304]

Dawn, I did get what you were trying to say. I really enjoyed that story.

Locally, I haven't met a guy that would even come close to being a gentleman. Dating sites are bad too, but are fun for conversation I suppose.

Mainly I get men from out of town that want to meet me, but that's inconvenient for me.

I'm not ready to head out to the straight bars by myself. This town is very conservative and close minded. I don't want to get killed. Litterally.


I guess I'll have to wait for the right man to show up at the bars that I go to locally then...sigh.

[kellycan27]

Why would someone who doesn't date men..give advice on dating men? Do they just like to hear themselves talk or what? Men have no appeal to me but........ I don't get it.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Monica, I wish you all the best, Hon...
I personally don't date men and am currently looking for a GG who is ok with who i am and how I present myself.
I hope you have success out there and find the right guy.

Take care,
Virginia-Mae :love: