I need some advice

[whowhatwhen]

My situation is a weird one, I don't want to bring out the violin for sad music so I'll try and keep it brief.
I still live at home which restricts everything I want to do, I'd move out in a second if I could. I still need to find a job first :/

I know for a fact me having any female clothes would not go over well with my folks.
Yesterday my mom found out I wanted to shave my legs and said it was "un manly" and "you don't want to look like a woman do you?".
Not helping all this is my orientation uncertainty and thinking about it kinda makes me sick in the stomach.

I do have some money saved up to experiment with, ideally what I wanted to do was try things out but not go too light either.
I thought about ebay but lots of incoming packages would be suspicious and I probably could not intercept them all.

I still feel weird even writing this.
Any thoughts/advice for me?

[KateSpade83]

Come out to your parents and make them accept it or just by a big lockable drawer cabinet to store your stuff in...

[sarah1992]

buy some small clothes and hide them somewhere in your room. and if your parents walk in there all the time then just put a lock on the box you stash them in. Its what I do.

[TGMarla]

She asked you, "You don't want to look like a woman, do you?" Hey, it's a yes or no question. You could have said yes. I know it's tougher than that, but they're your parents. They'd get over it. That aside, a lot of young men are shaving their legs these days. In my day, men didn't wear earrings, either. Now look at them. So shave 'em if you want to. What are they going to do, disown you over it? Not too likely. They'd chalk it up to "kids these days".

Don't stew so much about your sexual orientation. You have your whole life to figure it out. Just be you, and do what you like and are comfortable with. If it's something that makes you uneasy, don't do it.

And if you want a stash of girl clothes, buy a locking trunk or a suitcase of some kind, and put them in there. And do your best to get a job so you can move out. I know it's tough these days, but just do the best you can.

[LisaM]

I am torn between telling you to tell your parents or telling you to keep saving your money until you can get an apartment on your own.

It is very difficult to talk to your parents about these issues especially given your mother's comment.

I think I would wait until I had my own apartment and I could explore your feelings and interests on your own before coming out to your parents.

Just my thoughts---

[JulieC]

Get a job, move out, and what your parents think will have considerably less impact on you financially/economically. It also won't matter how many packages you receive from e-bay.

Your personal journey in figuring yourself out as to what you "are" will take years probably, or your entire life. You're not weird. You're just you. Welcome to humanity :) It's a big world out here...

[whowhatwhen]

Thanks for the advice all, I wish I could have just said yes but without a backup plan it was not a good idea.
It kinda sucks but I know the way she is, after "finding" something say less than straight I was told it had to be destroyed.

I realize that I'm going to have to explore what I feel now to figure myself out though I'll just have to put more thought into being careful for now.
Hell, I've got two feet. I'll go buy a razor tomorrow :D

[Daintre]

If you do not want anyone to know about any incoming packages you could look into renting a mailbox, the post office rents them as do places like the UPS Store.

[whowhatwhen]

Get a job, move out, and what your parents think will have considerably less impact on you financially/economically. It also won't matter how many packages you receive from e-bay.

Your personal journey in figuring yourself out as to what you "are" will take years probably, or your entire life. You're not weird. You're just you. Welcome to humanity :) It's a big world out here...

I think this is the best thing I can do and I will do everything I can to get out as fast as possible.
Living at home is no longer an option, I'm beginning to crack after having to watch what I say and keeping some stuff secret.

I hadn't cried in years up until 10 minutes or so ago, sounds corny but I gotta clean up and bring up the tough front again.
Thank you for all the ideas and support. :)

[cdbethany]

or send them to a trusted friends house or if theres an empty house or neighbour on vacation on your street then order it to there and watch out for the delivery guy,ive done that twice.another way is get them to deliver it to a neighbours house by putting the wrong house number for your address.ive used all of these in the past as when i was younger my mother was very anti porn,i was 16 at the time.

bethany

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Dear Who-

My son is only a year or two younger than you, as far as I know he hasn't followed in my footsteps and is not TG, but it wouldn't bother me if he were. It's too bad your folks don't seem to be accepting, but it is their home and while you reside there I think you should respect their feelings about the matter. That's just my take on it.

As some of the other girls have said, your best bet is to get a place of your own where you can be yourself. As to coming out to your parents, that's a seperate matter and only you can decide the right course. Speaking for myself, I am out to everyone in my life who counts but I have not come out to my own parents. As you can guess just from looking at my age in profile, my folks are quite old, they really don't need to know, so I haven't told them. What would be the point? I currently live my life as I please so telling them would serve no practical purpose.

As does everyone else here, I'm sure, I wish you the best on your journey of discovering who you are. Please remember there's nothing wrong, immoral, illegal or shameful about being TG and/or being gay. No one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them. Best of luck to you.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[FireFoxAngel]

shave your legs and tell your mom you're becoming a swimmer :)

[tanya-uk]

Or take up cycling, I think they shave all over. :)

[MsJanessa]

Honey--your question kind of answers itself---save your money get a job and then move out----don't out yourself to your parents until you have a place of your own to go to if the drama gets too high----best idea might be to find a room mate who also crossdresses then you can split the rent

[iwearstockings]

moving out of home is a good idea it brings with it an independence that sets you up for life.
If you're not quite ready for that yet then as has been mentioned, go to the post office and rent a PO box. Perfect for ebay and OMFG Ebay is like aladdins cave for CD's!!!
Good luck with it :^)

[Mya Summers]

Alot of the other girls suggestions are right on target about saving ur money up and getting ur own place. Here is a slight suggestion, if you want to order small things through the mail here and there and don't want your folks to find out you could go get a P.O. Box at the post office and you can have your item's sent there and not ur parents. But which ever you decide to do I wish you the best of luck and hope everything goes well.