Closet or not?

[Rikki]

Ladies,

Am I a closet dresser when so many people have seen me dressed and have even helped me dress? I don't go out in public, though I have gone for walks on deserted roads and I have been seen, but not read. For a while now I won't even think about going out to the public, I don't have a wig nor any makeup right now. Sence the last time I purged, I haven't been able to buy a wig yet. Thank you listening.


Rikki :confused:

[Tristen Cox]

Rikki there's nothing wrong with that. I have all the trimmings (well except decent make up) and I don't care to go out. I'm a quiet type and would rather just do my thing and not bother anyone. Honestkly I read the threads like anyone else about who got out where and it doesn't worry me. When I feel comfortable going out I will. Until then I won't be forced into just because *fill in name* did it. So yeah, in the closet - but I would like to have at least one event during the year where I can get together with my friends and dress up pretty(not total strangers)

:hugs:

[Deborah]

I've done all the things you have Rikki except for purging. I love those long walks down lonely roads. I still consider myself "in the closet" because i haven't actually interacted with anyone outside my house en femme.

[Julie]

Does it matter if you are considered in the closet or not? I really can't answer your question because I don't know where the line is drawn. Personally, I'd say once others know you dress, you're out. Maybe not to the world but who is? I know I'm not.

As long as you're able to enjoy yourself, that's all that matters. I think it's healthy to express yourself the way you want, whether you do it alone or on the world's stage.

[mand]

Hello Rikki :), I can't answer you're question neither love, like Julie said "Does it Matter".

It's not a race, it's not a competittion, just be yourself and take it all at you're own pace.....just be yourself :)

love mand xxx


Oh as for purging, it doesn't work, I tried it a few times ;)

[RachelDenise]

Being in the closet to most means that nobody knows or if they do know they don't accept and you can't dress. There probably a num,ber of other definitions. This is where "why does it matter?" comes into play. Learn about yourself, your wants and desires and go at a pace that you are comfortable. There is no prize except becoming a complete person. It takes time and effort, just look around you here at the forum. Not too many just jump out at the very beginnings as swans!

[alise]

I pretty much agree with all of you. From my point of view, the question of being "closet" or not is almost a non sens. Logicaly, being closet means being dressed only at home (am i wrong?). But if you go out in desert places, it's the same, except that someone can pass by ... Anyway, about the fact of going out dressed, I think that we naturaly know when the moment is come. It's just a question of feelings, otherwise, if it's forced, it can be a nightmare and the last public apparition for a long long time.

Rikki, about the fact that your not yet able to buy a wig, remember that you can find in online-shops. Maybe not the best way, but a solution anyway !

[Wendy me]

i dress at home every day and i go out every now and then ...as far as dose it matter
well rember do what is comfy for you.... like i always think if i need to impress someone then thay are not worth my time....being yourselfe is all that matters....
and if getting out is a dash to the mail box at 3 am ...and it gives you that rush and your happy ....thats all that matters...we all don't need to be walking the cat walk.....

[Sharon]

Hi Rikki -- it's good to see you here again. I hope you make it a habit to pop in regularly again. :)

Technically speaking, I guess you're not in the closet since people know about you, much less having helped you dress (wow -- congrats on that!), but each one of us needs to find our comfort level. As others have already said, there shouldn't be a sense of competition here on who is more "out" than the next, or who is more passable, or who is braver, or anything else we write about here. It's an easy trap to fall into, however.
Many crossdressers feel perfectly content dressing only in private, oftentimes choosing to wear only a single article of female clothing. It is just something they need to express for their own satisfaction.
For others, it is more -- it exposes who they are in their hearts and nothing short of complete transitioning will suffice.
It is up to each one of us to figure out where we fall within the scale. Sometimes we only know by going one step beyond where we finally decide we belong. When that happens, we need to recognize it and step back again.

Anyway -- do what you want, lose any guilt you may be feeling, and relax. :)

[Holly]

Hi Ricki,

What's important is that you're here with us and we love and accept you just as you are. Part of the joy of being in this community is watching one another grow and find acceptance within themselves. Don't worry about what others think, Ricki... your self worth is what is important.

[ChristineRenee]

Like others have said...does it really matter? You do what is comfortable...and enjoyable...for YOU! We're all part of the same sisterhood here but it's not a competition...we're here for each other and to share this bond of commonality that we have. The frequency and levels of which are not important. The love, the friendship, and the support...are!:hugs:

Love,
Chrissie:)

[Stephenie]

Be happy with what you have and don't worry about the label. but If you are worried then I would say that your out of the closet alot farther then I am.

[JoAnnDallas]

Ricki.... I have gone out in public en femm, but I still classify myself as a closet CD. My picture is up here for all to see and still I am a closet CD. I am comfy with my situration and Happy I have accomplished so much.

All I can say, is be yourself and enjoy your level, what ever that might be. Be happy and remember we are all here for you and there are plenty of shoulders and kleenix in case you need them.

[kymmieLorain]

I would be considered out of the closet but not out of the house. My wife knows but no one else. I haven't even the makeup or wife nor the falsies( but a padded bra that simulates something up top) Like Joann said enjoy your level

Kymmie

[Rikki]

Thank you ladies for the feed back, I appreciate it. I am not trying to compete with anybody, I was just wonderin where in and out begin. Again, thanks
Rikki

[mand]

Hello Rikki..........I know I used the word "competition" in my earlier post, please don't think that I was saying in anyway thats how you were veiwing things, that was just me trying to say take it at you're on pace love.

It really doesnt matter if you're in the closet, fulltime or whatever, just be yourself Rikki thats the most important thing :)


love mand xxx

[Elinor]

I am very much in the closet [tho I have gone out doors alone at night, and wore a skirt on my hotel balcony] I have never gone out for a walk or shopping in daylight or met others.
I would like to go on a night out or a walk down a street but most likely will never do so.
I would like to see the TV Scotland event held each year but will never go.
I once went to Hide and Sleek a shop for CDers but never found the courage to go in.
My secret like most of us I expect is indoors alone or on the PC which would be most of us I would think.
I once seen a guy dressed as a woman in a pub and told my then girlfriend who was more embarrassed by me mentioning it.
On several bus routes I used to travel on two guys traveled on the bus [each on their own] looking like men in drag.
People never did anything but what a risk, if a drunk got on or several young people, need I say more? Neither could pass and one always wore lace gloves. What woman wears lace gloves? I would not wish to be taken as a male in a dress trapped on a bus with several young drunks HELL!
So I'll stay at home safer. :D
Still a girl can dream and who knows?
I have walked outside heels clicking breeze flowing up my skirts hair brushing my cheeks and it was wonderful.
3am eight young people walking through the park[what the hell was 10/12 year olds doing out?] "Whats that"? says one. "Only an old hag" replied another.
Oh well it could have been worse I could have been read. :eek:
Still I at least will not die wondering what it would be like. I know; it was FAB! :love:

[FionaAlexis]

Rikki - I think the short answer is - yes.

The longer answer is maybe it really doesn't matter. What matters is - are you satisfied with your current level of cross dressing and activity. If you are - well stay with it.

I actually think many of us are in a closet of one type or another - even those who get out. It's all relative....

Trouble is - its hard not to be influenced by what other trannies are doing. And I'm not sure whether your question is motivated by seeking some confirmation that you're doing OK? Or a signal that you aren't very happy with your lot in tranny life?

Fiona xx