Blind Date

[Magickman]

I have a blind date scheduled for tonight, at a social dance party. We plan to meet at the event, at a suburban reception hall. It would be our first meeting.

So far, all she has seen of me is my writing. And I give good E-Mail.

There has been mixed reaction, up to now, to my clothing style. That has set me to thinking. (A big mistake, I know.)

My general inclination is to dress for fun, in a denim mini skirt, tights, and heels. I like that look, myself.

Then I wonder if my preferred style will be too much of a shock for this unwitting woman.

I could wear jeans, and even flats.

But should I?

I feel much more comfortable dressed up. It is a expression of my personality.

What should I do here?

[TGMarla]

What do you mean by "There has been mixed reaction, up to now, to my clothing style."? She knows you're a crossdresser? Does she expect you to show up dressed? What is she expecting? Is your "preferred style" as you called it something other than what she's accustomed to?

Details, please! :battingeyelashes:

[Ediosa]

I say be yourself. If you can't be who you want to be, then it's not meant to be.

[Magickman]

Sorry that I was not more clear.

The mixed reactions have been from various previous blind dates.

The gal I am to meet tonight knows nothing of my clothing style, other than that I like denim outfits. But I did tell her that she would be surprised when we meet.

Just how surprised, is yet to be determined.

[TGMarla]

I'd not push the envelope that far. If you do, then I'd lay money down that you will be mentioned in some of her future conversations as "All I ever find are losers. One guy even showed up in a skirt and heels!" If she doesn't know you crossdress, then meeting her for the first time while crossdressed is a very bad idea.

( I mean, duh! :doh:)

[Deb The Brunette]

I say be yourself. If you can't be who you want to be, then it's not meant to be.

I'm with the latino lass on this one, get it out in the open from the off I say...

(But hey that's just me ok)


.

[trannie T]

This place is filled with posts of those who kept their dressing secret for long periods of time before their SO found out. The best thing to do is out yourself early in the relationship, but I think doing it on the first date may be a little bit too early, you will be lucky if she gets in the car with you.

[iwearstockings]

it might be floating your boat thinking about it but showing up on a bling date dressed up is not a good idea. Much better if you're determined to broach the subject, to go in DRAB and tell her over dinner. Why be so ' in your face' about it?. If you are on a blind date then I'm guessing you are single and are looking for a relationship? in that case, you will know yourself after 10 seconds of seeing her whether you are interested or not, so in my opinion, don't complicate it by chucking cross dressing into the mix.
JMHO
All the best.
.

[GaleWarning]

Since you write good emails, magicman, I could suggest you say something to her along the lines of, "I could wear a short denim skirt and 3" heels tonight, or if you would feel more comfortable, I could wear denim jeans and female boots."

She may call off your date, but you will at least have been honest from the start and saved both of you a lot of angst.

If I were you, though, I would simply turn up in the second outfit. Break it to her gently. Give yourself at least the opportunity of having a frank discussion with her about your views on dress, without her feeling too uncomfortable from the start.

You have promised to surprise her. The second outfit will still do that, without scaring her to death!

Good luck. May she turn out to be the woman of your dreams.

[kayesimone]

How to "be yourself" yet be considerate of others....
i don't know if i like the idea of shock and awe, personally i like the subtle suggestion idea...believe me, girls will take note of what you are wearing and saying...but to thine own self be true....

[Sophia de la luz]

If you're going to show up in public, and be associated with this woman at a dance, it is fair to avail her of any intentions you have to dress in the identity of the opposite sex. She can save herself face and step out early, if that's her wish. Or, if she is onboard, you two can really enjoy yourself.
If you're not going to mention the clothing in advance, I would wear something gender neutral or stick with male garb. That would be the polite and generous behavior to display.
I always like it when people are polite and generous with me.

[Carole Cross]

I don't think turning up dressed on a first date is a good idea.

[shesadvl]

I don't think turning up dressed on a first date is a good idea.


I am with you carole, what carole said

from a GG's stance even on a first date,and it being a blind date, .....
(ok I knew from the outset as my partner told me straight up, it didnt bother me, took him by surprise, )
but however ,...I would think talking about who you are, how you are is a better way, of getting to know you and her, is easier then arriving dressed then you will find out, if shes the woman of your dreams,
is this not how on dates, blind or otherwise get to know who each of you are,.. before launching into something that perhaps may scare a potential partner off by turning up dressed on a blind first date,...laffing now my wicked sense of humour would be ..... that you are blind,.. not yer date...:tongueout

good luck magickman:battingeyelashes:

[Taylor186]

I agree with Carole too.

IMO--nice fantasy, bad reality--for a first date. If you want to see her again, you might consider telling her later in the date, or some other time.

[trannie T]

What is she wearing? You may wish to coridinate your outfits.

[Joni T]

You want to ruin it in the first 30 seconds??!!!??? Show up dressed and I'd be willing to bet BIG money that by the 60th second you'll be dateless. Save face and don't do it. IF you get a second date with the lady try to bring it up then.
Just 22 years of marriage AND my $.02 speaking.
Good luck and keep us posted on the outcome.
Joni

[Magickman]

The short version of the story is that, after much consideration, I went to the dance dressed, and my date didn't show up. This is twice she has bailed on me. I'll get a different date next time.

More tomorrow.

[MissConstrued]

If you're going to show up in public, and be associated with this woman at a dance, it is fair to avail her of any intentions you have to dress in the identity of the opposite sex.

Several in this thread have made this mistake. Remember from Magickman's prior posts that he does not make any attempt to look female. He wears skirts, heels, and sports nice nails... as a man.



Since you write good emails, magicman, I could suggest you say something to her along the lines of, "I could wear a short denim skirt and 3" heels tonight, or if you would feel more comfortable, I could wear denim jeans and female boots."

I can't believe what I read here sometimes. Ask a blind date what you should wear? Are you effin' kidding me? I can't think of a way to chase a woman off quicker than to be so spineless.

Women will respect a man with strong will; a man who doesn't cower in the corner worrying what other people think of him... even if he's weird. They don't respect weakness and indecision.

[AKAMichelle]

I have to agree if the woman doesn't know you as a crossdresser then don't wear women's clothes on your first meeting.


All I ever find are losers. One guy even showed up in a skirt and heels!


This sound like a future book title with you as the worst date ever.

[kellycan27]

I can't believe what I read here sometimes. Ask a blind date what you should wear? Are you effin' kidding me? I can't think of a way to chase a woman off quicker than to be so spineless.

Women will respect a man with strong will; a man who doesn't cower in the corner worrying what other people think of him... even if he's weird. They don't respect weakness and indecision.

I suppose he has the right to dress in any fashion he desires.Personally if my blind date showed up in a skirt,heels and 5 o'clock shadow,he'd be dancing alone or with someone other than me. It would be like me showing up wearing moose antlers and a tail. I am not trying to fool anyone into thinking,nor do I want to be a moose, just my preference. Nothing wrong with with the way he dresses or how he wants to present. it's not something you see everyday, I don't think that a heads up is asking too much. Just as he has the right to decide what he wears she has the right to to decide if she would be comfortable with it.
A woman my respect a man who doesn't cower, but they also respect a man who is courteous and understands and realizes that while there is nothing wrong with dressing in a certian way, it is not something that you see everyday, and that not everyone would be comfortable with it.
Walking around with the attitude that I don't care what anyone thinks is fine,but right now you sound like you have a chip on your shoulder. Why take it out on someone who would like the chance to go out with you? Having to assert one's manliness 24/7 sort of seems defensive...Like you have something to prove. Being kind and caring won't take away from your manhood,more likely to enhance it.............. just my :2c:
Kel

[Bev06 GG]

Sorry that I was not more clear.

The mixed reactions have been from various previous blind dates.

The gal I am to meet tonight knows nothing of my clothing style, other than that I like denim outfits. But I did tell her that she would be surprised when we meet.

Just how surprised, is yet to be determined.

LOL sorry I shouldn't laught but poor woman is going to get the shock of her life. I think it might have been wise just to let her know before you meet.
Your obviously a very confident person and I admire you greatly, you will have to let us all know how things turn out.
Take care
Bev

[Jenny Brown]

Walking around with the attitude that I don't care what anyone thinks is fine,but right now you sound like you have a chip on your shoulder
I wouldn't think there would be much of a problem getting that chip knocked off...:heehee:

[Sammy777]

Ask a blind date what you should wear? Are you effin' kidding me? I can't think of a way to chase a woman off quicker than to be so spineless.


OH I'm sorry, I always though that was being just plain Polite. :D

Forget skirts and heels for a minute.
You wouldn't ask a date what to expect to wear?
Showing up in jeans and t-shirt isn't going to cut it going out for a nice dinner the same way a suit and tie doesn't work for apple picking.

And to the OP -
Fully femme or just a man in a dress........
It really doesn't matter - but for F*** sake that is something you just don't spring on someone!

It doesn't matter how comfy you are wearing what your wearing.
Try and think of the other person for once!
Because it sounds like you have done this very thing before.

Maybe you wouldn't need to date so much if you showed up to the first date wearing pants once in a while.

Why is common sense not such a common thing these days.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I'm developing a sore neck from shaking my head in disbelief.

If you're going to open with this girl the honourable and courageous thing would have been to tell her in your emails.

[Jessica Who]

Very interesting but I think it all really depends on how you feel. This thread is already filled with great advice but ultimately it's up to you to decide.

Personally, I would never have shown up for a first date in drag, but it is something that I reveal about 3 weeks into the relationship. Women can be very accepting but this is something that they are likely extremely clueless about. If you give them some leeway they are (probably) more likely to be fine.

Whatever you decide, be confident and let us know how it went down.

[kellycan27]

Very interesting but I think it all really depends on how you feel. This thread is already filled with great advice but ultimately it's up to you to decide.

Personally, I would never have shown up for a first date in drag, but it is something that I reveal about 3 weeks into the relationship. Women can be very accepting but this is something that they are likely extremely clueless about. If you give them some leeway they are (probably) more likely to be fine.

Whatever you decide, be confident and let us know how it went down.

Why wait three weeks? Why not just be up front from the get-go? "If you give them some leewaythey are (probably) more likely to be fine" Hmmmm don't know about that. But it does give her the option of making a choice.Judging from the number of "oh poor me" threads as opposed to the "she accepts me" threads, while a woman might be accepting of crossdressing in general, they may not be as accepting as to want a crossdressing SO.

[Sophia de la luz]

If you're far enough along that you are wearing femme clothing in public, including dresses, etc., then up front from the beginning, polite, and confident.

[Sammy777]

I'm developing a sore neck from shaking my head in disbelief.

Your not the only one! :lol:

[Andy66]

Maybe the woman was there, spotted you, and ran.

I totally admire CDs who have the courage to tell their SOs from the beginning; but there's a good way and a bad way to do it. It's true that HOW you tell a woman what you like/want makes a lot of difference in whether she will accept it.

[MissConstrued]

Maybe the woman was there, spotted you, and ran.

:roflmao: Hey, it happens sometimes... that's blind dates for ya!



It's true that HOW you tell a woman what you like/want makes a lot of difference in whether she will accept it.


I prefer to tell her with a club over the noggin, then drag her back to my cave.

By the hair. Always drag them by the hair. Word to the wise.

[kellycan27]

:roflmao: Hey, it happens sometimes... that's blind dates for ya!




I prefer to tell her with a club over the noggin, then drag her back to my cave.

By the hair. Always drag them by the hair. Word to the wise.

No wonder you have three girfriends, and here I was thinking it was your wit and charm rather than... kidnapping and hostage taking. :battingeyelashes:

[Aubrey Green]

You can write all the good e-mails you want. You can write her for 5 years, but if this lifestyle hasn't been mentioned or at least tap danced around, in your conversations. It may be a very short evening. I wish you the best of luck, but like Kelly says. If she was to show up in moose antlers and a tail................... bad example, Kelly is hot, I'd probably hang around anyway, but if this gal has zero idea, chances are not good for a successful evening. :daydreaming:

[MissConstrued]

No wonder you have three girfriends, and here I was thinking it was your wit and charm rather than... kidnapping and hostage taking. :battingeyelashes:

Oh... I wasn't counting those. They usually head back to their own caves next morning with a bit of a headache.

If I charm a gal's pants off, it's because I want to borrow them. :heehee:

[Deb The Brunette]

If I charm a gal's pants off, it's because I want to borrow them. :heehee:

:rofl:Priceless

[vivianann]

I am crossdressed in public almost everyday and I would never go on a blind date wearing a skirt or dress, and I agree with Anne66, I think she came to the dance and discovered you in the skirt and ran for her life. I agree with Marla and the others here you need to not wear a skirt on a blind date, you can tell her later, like 2nd or 3rd date. :eek:

[shesadvl]

OH I'm sorry, I always though that was being just plain Polite. :D

Forget skirts and heels for a minute.
You wouldn't ask a date what to expect to wear?
Showing up in jeans and t-shirt isn't going to cut it going out for a nice dinner the same way a suit and tie doesn't work for apple picking.

And to the OP -
Fully femme or just a man in a dress........
It really doesn't matter - but for F*** sake that is something you just don't spring on someone!

It doesn't matter how comfy you are wearing what your wearing.
Try and think of the other person for once!
Because it sounds like you have done this very thing before.

Maybe you wouldn't need to date so much if you showed up to the first date wearing pants once in a while.

Why is common sense not such a common thing these days.


sorry i cant stop laughing I agree with what SamanthaM has said also, along with my post earlier..... when you conjour up the visual ...laffing...

whats common sense to a CD'er isnt it a fact that when sensiability should rain pink fog aclaims and all reasonability goes out the window laffing....:devil:

well magickman if your short of dates.... try the shelf at the supermarket, its prolly cheaper,... dont care what you wear and they're next to the apricots n raisins...laffing...:tongueout:

yer gotta see the funnie side in this also, but get to know your dates, as I said in my earlier posting.... being up front and honest is ok...but dont do it dressed,... whether theyre blind or not.....:tongueout

[Kristen-Gaye]

I've got to give it to you Magickman, you've got B***S! :heehee: It's not the way I would approach things though. Small steps my friend, small steps.

[Jenny Brown]

The short version of the story is that, after much consideration, I went to the dance dressed, and my date didn't show up. This is twice she has bailed on me. I'll get a different date next time.
More tomorrow.
Here's my guess...
She did show up. She figured out who you were and got the hell out there as quickly as possible. And who in the world could blame her?
Try some normal male attire next time.

[MissConstrued]

but get to know your dates, as I said in my earlier posting.... being up front and honest is ok...but dont do it dressed,...


That's a lovely idea, but in most Western countries, social mores usually dictate getting to know someone while dressed, before you get to know them not dressed. :o


Being not dressed does simplify mating rituals, however. I was once told about this tribe of savages... er, "natives"... wherein clothing was either unknown or shunned. A young male's attraction to a particular female is rather obvious in this condition, and when such is noticed, the chief conks their heads together and declares them mates. No dating, no phone calls, no awkward first kiss. Ah, for the simplicity of the Stone Age.

[Presh GG]

I really want to know , Just how many of these blind dates have you been on for the " mixed reaction" of which you speak???

Gosh I'm sooo laughing !:D

Please tell us all you're kidding.

If not , yea, She Ran.:eek:
I can't wait to hear the next chapter, like her E-mail excuse for having "missed" the dance.

Ah Magic , What are you thinking ?Who was it said , baby steps? so right on.

springtime gg

[shesadvl]

That's a lovely idea, but in most Western countries, social mores usually dictate getting to know someone while dressed, before you get to know them not dressed. :o


Being not dressed does simplify mating rituals, however. I was once told about this tribe of savages... er, "natives"... wherein clothing was either unknown or shunned. A young male's attraction to a particular female is rather obvious in this condition, and when such is noticed, the chief conks their heads together and declares them mates. No dating, no phone calls, no awkward first kiss. Ah, for the simplicity of the Stone Age.

yer crack me up missconstrued, yeh i can see what you mean but if you are that forth coming and yer date wants to get to know yer nekkid then why the heck dress anyway hahahahaha,
bit like taking the bull by the horns and kicking his butt to see how he performs laffing ...like oi did with my partner n i was/and still am his friend, :tongueout as for the stoneage oi think they had it right laffing.....;):devil: nothing hidden all out in the open for all to see...:battingeyelashes:

[kellycan27]

Oh... I wasn't counting those. They usually head back to their own caves next morning with a bit of a headache.

If I charm a gal's pants off, it's because I want to borrow them. :heehee:

So.................... the more girlfriends and captives,the better the wardrobe selection! Hmmmmm good thinking!


You can write all the good e-mails you want. You can write her for 5 years, but if this lifestyle hasn't been mentioned or at least tap danced around, in your conversations. It may be a very short evening. I wish you the best of luck, but like Kelly says. If she was to show up in moose antlers and a tail................... bad example, Kelly is hot, I'd probably hang around anyway, but if this gal has zero idea, chances are not good for a successful evening. :daydreaming:

Awwwww..so sweet :heehee:

[Lisa Golightly]

My reputation precedes me... but I'd never 'shock and awe' anyone who had no clue... Doesn't show a lot of respect for them does it!?! In fact because everyone knows what I am they geuinely seem disappointed on first meet because I take great pains to look as neutral as possible... Gives them an idea of what they'll wake up next to... possibly... maybe... if they're extremely special... Unless of course I like them lots and then I might take onboard the odd fantasy or three.

[Evelyn]

If you're going to show up in public, and be associated with this woman at a dance, it is fair to avail her of any intentions you have to dress in the identity of the opposite sex. She can save herself face and step out early, if that's her wish. Or, if she is onboard, you two can really enjoy yourself.
If you're not going to mention the clothing in advance, I would wear something gender neutral or stick with male garb. That would be the polite and generous behavior to display.
I always like it when people are polite and generous with me.

This is a good code of practice, especially on a first date with a person who knows nothing about you. Good manners cost nothing, you can give them away all day.

[BreenaDion]

Gee zuss Crying out loud. You are what gives these good girls in here a bad rap. The stigma you create that countlees before us have battled to over come an have society for some what except us or merge into civil exceptance. OMG we all have been tossed backwards becuase of flaunted missdirected humans like you. Get some common sense an be a gentleman first if your not going to d

Get a life an live it with Respect!!!

There!

Love Bree :love:

[Ralph]

You are what gives these good girls in here a bad rap. The stigma you create that countlees before us have battled to over come an have society for some what except us or merge into civil exceptance. OMG we all have been tossed backwards becuase of flaunted missdirected humans like you. Get some common sense an be a gentleman first if your not going to d

If you're going to post a five-alarm rant like that, it helps to let people know the recipient of your wrath. WHOSE stigma are you referring to, specifically? St. Mary? No wait, those are stigmata. Your ophthalmologist? No, that's astigmatism. So anyway, we can't figure out w

[MissConstrued]

LOL @ Ralph. It took me a minute, then I realized what happened to the rest of y



The stigma you create that countlees before us have battled to over come an have society for some what except us or merge into civil exceptance.

Wha...? I can't even figure out what this is supposed to mean. Other than the obvious fact that public schools are a dismal failure, of course.




OMG we all have been tossed backwards becuase of flaunted missdirected humans like you.

Malapropism: deadlier than plumber's crack.

Seriously, get the **** over yourself. You rant and rave over how society shouldn't be able to dictate your wardrobe choices, then you turn around and bash someone who does exactly what you don't have the balls to do.

To reference an old parable, Magickman is an eagle soaring high, and you're an insanely jealous turkey.

Speaking of poor examples, though, what do you suppose people think of someone who writes like a re

[Magickman]

It has become my job, to be the maverick here.

I do things differently, though not necessarily better. One thing I won't do is to get wrapped up in guilt and secrecy about my dressing style. If how I dress bothers a woman, then I'd rather get that out of the way immediately.

Usually, I dress up for social events. Dance parties, dates, singles events, shopping, and recreation all seem appropriate places.

Certainly, I know that a lot of women don't dig it, but that does not upset me. The ones who I want to know will be accepting and amused.

Besides, I have great legs. Women very frequently remark on that. "You look better in a skirt than I do," is something I hear often.

In a skirt, tights, and heels, I am a fun, outgoing guy, if that is not a contradiction in terms. Not a majority, but quite a few women seem to like me dressed up.

And I never worry about secrets.

[Jenny Brown]

Certainly, I know that a lot of women don't dig it, but that does not upset me. The ones who I want to know will be accepting and amused.

I think you probably have the amused part right. But they're not amused in a good way.