Second Opinion 4 Surgeries @ Leicester GIC 2Day!!!

[Felix]

Well its 5.20 AM and we are off to Leiceser GIC for my second opinion and referal for chest and other surgeries :/ I'm a little nervous but not too bad :) My appointment is at 10.30 so we have ample time to get there getting the first train out of Hull. As I did previously I have brought all documenation like my journal, change of name deed and letters supporting my real life experience plus other stuff. Well I'll catch you all up later with good news I hope! Plus I have the surgeons just waiting now for my referal and funding so fingers crossed xx Felix

[Ze]

:GD: I'm so excited for you! I'm sure everything will work out the way you want it to.

[DanielMacBride]

That's great news Felix - good luck! :) Keep us all posted on how it goes!

[SirTrey]

Yeah, Felix, let us know how that goes....we will be anxious to hear.....:thumbsup::drink:

[Felix]

Hi Guys :) Well after an all round trip of 12 and a half hours we finally arrived home exhausted. The appointment went well and the psychiatrist was very nice and helpful and was pleased with all my changes so far. He was impressed with the way I handled my family and especially my mother and how I am protecting her at this very sad time re my fathers death in January this year.

He asked me if I had told my father and I told him that while my Dad was was sedated I talked to him and told him everything and how one tear had fallen down his cheek so I knew he had heard me. He said I was brave to tell him but I said I wasn't and that I knew from conversations we had had that my Dad was aware of what was going on. Also I told him about the ring my father had left me that I had loved from being a child. It is a buckle ring, I told my dad I wanted one like this exactly like this when I was a child much to my Mums disgust as it was a mans ring but he had remembered this and left me it. I am so honoured :) I wear it with great pride always now. I said it was necessary to tell my father before he died and be honest with him, I didn't want him to go without me being totally open with him.

He wanted to know how the rest of my family are dealing and my school and the children there. I said all is going well on all these fronts. He was happy about that.

I showed him a picture of me when I was at University and he was like wow what a difference. He asked me if I wanted voice training I was like ermmm don't think I need that :) he laughed and was like me neither lol!! He thought my voice was coming along nicely :)

He asked about my name change and asked when I had changed from being Lesbian to Trans I said I came out three years ago but I have been Trans all my life I was just in denial of the fact plus the family back ground being strict Roman Catholics. He told me, not to let anyone stop my 'T' injections as I would need them for the rest of my life, lol no fear there Doctor ;) He was pleased that I was attending the gym too :)

Then he was like as far as I'm concerned I will be sending letters out to your GP, Leeds GIC and yourself to confirm referral for all surgeries to go ahead. I was so relieved and even though I know now I have to wait for the PCT in Hull to grant funding before I can see the surgeons, I have my recommendation, so that makes me very happy indeed :)

OK this was the good news, now some realities.

1. I had already had 2 psychiatric opinions from gender specialists here one in Hull and one in Leeds. This should have been ample according to the the HBI standards of care. But not to be I was sent for this 3rd so called independent opinion. Errrm it was still NHS so therefore not necessarily independent in the true sence of the word.

2. The cost of this appointment to ourselves was £140 all told for an appointment that only lasted HALF AN HOUR. It was rather costly for me but some peeps would not be able to afford this kind of expense. The question is why put us through this when it is unnecessary. We were told in lEEDS THAT IT WAS TO COVER THE BACKS OF THE DOCTORS :(

3. Helen my partner has attended every appointment with me, she has always been allowed into the room with me in her professional capacity not as my partner. On the referral letter she was described as a specialist the same as the nurse specialist.

4. The psychiatrist was quite clear when he called me he said, " I want to see Mr Fenlon on his own." Patient choice went out the window which is totally inappropriate. Helen will report this to the team she works with who enter and view premises on behalf of the public and report on standards of care in a view to change things where necessary. I will be reporting it to Leeds GIC when I next visit.

5. I did not like the hospital it was so typically psychiatric and as I'm not mentally ill I felt most uncomfortable there. Like I said I can't help it that I was born with the wrong body!!!!!!

So that's some of the harsh realities of the system and although I am happy with the way things are going generally for me I know this is not the case for many others who suffer at the hands of PCT's who are THE GATE KEEPERS and who cause much pain and anxiety and often death in the worse cases of dysphoria because they really have no concept of the trauma they cause by holding funding up for so many who just want to live normal lives in their true gender roles.

xx Felix :hugs:

[Ze]

I'm really happy things are (mainly) going your way, Felix! The gatekeeper dilemma always sucks, though. :( I'm not TS, but it's always really bothered me the way everything's always medicalized and scrutinized and considered a "privilege" rather than a right. As much trouble as they're trying to make it for you, at least you're still moving forward. I'm sure you're just venting or simply stating your thoughts right now, but remember anyway that we're here for ya and you're able to struggle forward regardless of the barriers. :)

Also, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. :( This happened before I joined here, obviously, but my thoughts are still with you and your family.

Not trying to hijack your thread or cross-post here, but I have a new thread in the writer's section on some of my college essays, and the first I've put up so far is a critique aimed at the HBSoC for TSs. You might like it, if only to hear somebody else vent. :hugs:

[Felix]

Thanx Ze and of course I don't mind you saying this. I was kind of venting but my main gripe is for all the others out there who are having a tougher time than me really it was for them :) I'll have a look at ya stuff :) xx Felix :hugs:

[Ze]

Yeah, some people are lucky enough to (sort of) have the money and time and support, while others obviously do not. :( It's great to see, though, that you're not some sort of "blue fog" guy passing judgment on other TS/TG people because they can't afford something. You're real and you know it. :) And that's awesome. (Sorry, I'm in this mood where I'm very touchy about hypocrisy.)

[Sandra]

That is good news Felix :hugs:

[Sheila]

Felix, you know how happy Debs and I are for you, & how proud we are to be able to call you and Helen friends :hugs:

[Deborah Jane]

Thats great news Felix, i'm so pleased for you my friend :hugs:

[Felix]

Hey Ze Hun no worries man seriously I know what ya mean :) I just really feel for anyone who is having problems around this sort of thing and I know there are many from other sites I visit. :hugs:

Thanx Sandra Hun :hugs:

Hey Sheila and Debs thanx to you both my friends for all ya help and support and back at ya we too are very proud to be your friends xx Felix :hugs:

[Sheila]

Just had a thought .............. does this mean surgery will be done for our Dec wedding when you being best man ?

[Shelly Preston]

Great News Felix

Another step on the journey completed :hugs:

[Majestyk's Lady]

Dear Felix..
I am so happy it went as well as it did for you..:thumbsup:
You are just way too cool...:battingeyelashes:
I remember your sadness about your Dad..but..you did right by telling him..no matter which way it was done..it's only right..he deserved the truth as you deserved to tell him about how you feel and to let him know just who Felix is.....I am glad he honored you with the Ring..

Phew..that's one more part done..now on to the next..remember "step High"..you have "earned" your right to happiness..

I have such admiration for your courage and how you face your obstacles head on..:daydreaming:
Thank you for sharing your Journey with us..
You are in my Heart, as well as Helen, your children and the rest of your family..:hugs:
Blessings on you Dear Friend..
Majestyk's Lady :love:

[Felix]

Thanx Majestyk's Lady and back at ya xx Blessed Be :hugs: Felix