Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde?

[AllieSummers]

There a couple of threads floating around today that prompted me to post an interesting question.

Are you two different people? I mean do you act totally different as a guy or a girl?

I have a very close friend that is a CD. She is very masculine as a guy. She always says that it takes her three hours to get ready because she has to "wash the masculinity off". She transforms from being a rugged, masculine, macho man (pretty good looking one too) into a soft, fem, girly girl.

I on the other hand am pretty much the same person in guy or girl mode. I do have to make sure I don't cross the line as a guy but I do a lot of fem things. I wear two earrings (except when I have business meetings), work on my tan, shave my entire body, wear tight, bright clothes, love to dance, etc.

When I dress my fem side is magnified. I walk different, have more fem gentures, obviously wear women's clothing, etc. But I am really the same person, same personality, same voice (generally), etc.

I went out to a club with my daughter (22) a few weeks ago. She actually commented on how I am really the same person.

Isn't that what we all need to work towards? If we do then we will come to accept our dressing easier. Right? If we are working to keep these two sides at odds then we will always have internal conflct. Won't we?

I think this is why it wasn't a total shock to the people I've come out to. They always knew I was different, more fem. They came to know and love me for who I really am. The fact that I wear women's clothing sometimes doesn't make me a different person.

Just some things to think about.

What do you think?

Kisses,

Allie

[tricia_uktv]

Yes, I was. More and more though the two people are merging. Its actually because the more I accept Tricia, the closer I am to being her. Not sure if that makes much sense but it was I feel. Trish is at least part of the family now!

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I'm pretty much the same when in female mode, although I'll let out my fem side a little more when dressed. I still like my beer and sports and other male hobbies.



Felicity.

[kristinacd55]

Allie, wouldn't that be Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde??? Lol. Great point though!! :)

[Jean Ann S]

Nope two different people !
I try to keep the boy and girl stuff totally seperate
for me much more fun that way

Jean Ann

[Kathi Lake]

I am me, no matter which side of the closet I'm picking an outfit from. Yes, as a guy I am pretty darn girly. I make no excuses or apologies for that. I don't accentuate my girliness to extremes when I am in female mode, or my (admittedly paltry) masculinity when in guy mode. Heck, I'm just me!

Kathi

[AllieSummers]

I guess to clarify my question....

Kathi is hitting the nail on the head.

I am really talking more about personality than the physical side of it.

Is your personality the same or do you have two separate peronalities?

I think that is where the confusion within ourselves and with others might come from. If we are the same "person" as a man and a woman then we (and others) should be able to accept our dressing easier. Dressing is simply and external expression (possibly magnified) of the internal self.

When you have two totally separate personalities you are really two different people and you could easily have a lot of internal conflict because these two different people are fighting one another to win. You are always asking yourself who you really are...John or Joan. It is kinda like having a multiple personalty disorder.

Just like Kathi said, I am generally the same person no matter which side of the closet I'm picking my clothes from. The closer we can get to the same the more at peace we become.

Thoughts?

Kisses,

Allie

[Dekka]

I'm almost the same person when I'm in guy mode. In Dekka-mode I only relax my arms and open my hands when walking. Oh, and swear a little less...=)

[cdbethany]

i definatly am 2 different people when dressed and when im in guy mode cause im lasy heres what i put in one of my other posts
"as you may have noticed i refer to both male side and my dressed side bethany separately,this is because i view my crossdressing side as a individual,a split in my personality(like the mild mannered office clerk who becomes a serial killer in horror movies)i do beleive although me (benjamin) and bethany are the same person, we are 2 separate intertwined entertys(thats my anyway.)"

love bethany xxxxxx

[Kristen-Gaye]

I'm pretty much the same also but I can be a little submissive when dressed. It's been a bit of a revelation really. Maybe I've always been this way but my dressing has brought it to the fore. I must say that I don't mind feelling this way.
K.

[Teri Jean]

Allie,
I have to say I'm me no matter which clothes I'm wearing and that was expressed this afternoon when I came out to a ggf from work.

Teri

[paulaN]

I am just one. After my divorce last November I have been able to let my guard down a lot. I do not have to worry so much about the male image. A lot of people in my red neck paper mill work place, think that I am gay. Because I got my ears pierced, got divorced, let my guard down. ect. ect. It can be a struggle sometimes. But I need to be me and what the small minded redneck people think of me does not matter. Unless of course they try and hurt me. So I am just one and that one is free to be me now and I like it. It really scares me to death as to how far this girl in me might come out to everyone. But it is me and I am good inside and out.

[Charlena]

I am getting closer to being the same person, like Kathi said, I may be considered a bit girly. But the older I get, 50 this friday I am trying to be who I was born as, not who I was taught to be.

[MissConstrued]

Is your personality the same or do you have two separate peronalities?



My ego takes up too much room to allow for another personality. :hmph:

[Mistybtm]

Nope two different people !
I try to keep the boy and girl stuff totally seperate
for me much more fun that way

Jean Ann

I agree same for me

[sissystephanie]

I am me, no matter which side of the closet I'm picking an outfit from. Yes, as a guy I am pretty darn girly. I make no excuses or apologies for that. I don't accentuate my girliness to extremes when I am in female mode, or my (admittedly paltry) masculinity when in guy mode. Heck, I'm just me!

Kathi

Kathi, you described me perfectly. I am Me, no matter what I am wearing! Which many times is a little of both!

[TSchapes]

Not really, I'm pretty much the same, just prettier to look at, trust me...

-Tracy

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Allie,

How you describe yourself is fairly similar to how I am, as is what Kathi said. I'm a fairly girly guy and so act pretty much the same way in guy or girl mode. The only thing I would say that is different is that I'm a little bit less talkative in girl mode (especially when out dressed in public) :)

[Miranda09]

Hi Allie. Interesting question.. For me, it IS like having 2 different personalities, at least from my point of view. I feel when I'm dressed, I take on a very feminine persona, right down the jestures. Very different from my male side. :)

[Aubrey Green]

Yes, I (Aubrey) and my male counter life are two completely different people. Some of the like and dislikes are the same, minor stuff, but that's it. My male side is pretty quiet and really unafraid of daily life, while I am afraid I might break a nail (fake) or my hair or clothes might not be right, and as you can tell by my answer, am quite chatty! :daydreaming:

[curious_one]

First of all, let me say i'm new to crossdressing, I'm a very manly man, and i have very manly traits. (that i've very proud of). I am who i am. However, i have a totally seperate set of feelings on when i feel girly, fem and the need to be in panties, bright colors, and makeup. I feel the need to accessorise and look pretty all the time.

So, i guess i'm two different personalities of the same person. One i'm me, the other i'm acting out my deepest fantasy.

[Barbara B]

I think once you get behind the male image I am generally the same person, so much so most of the people that know both sides of me still refer to me by my male name. I have noticed life is lived more slowly when dressed and therefore Barbara is a good person to be part of my life whether seen as seperate or one.

[Georgia Rose]

I'm just me all the time. When dressed I act a bit more girly, I think, but like a few others here I've always had some girly-like gestures and actions. Didn't really think about those until I started dressing. When dressed I try to act more like a woman but underneath it's just the old me really.

[Angie G]

I'm preity much the same in either mode. Maybe few slight differences.:hugs:
Angie

[Trycia]

I'm very much two different people when dressed. I walk, act & talk differently trying to accentuate everything femme when Trycia is out

[AllieSummers]

Hi Girls,

This is some really good input.

So let me ask two more questions. There is no right and wrong answer. :)

For those of you that responded that you really have the same personality:
Are you comfortable with or struggling with the fact your personalities are the same?

For those of you that responded that you have two different personalities:
Are you comfortable with or struggling with the fact your personalities are different?

I talk with a lot of girls that are struggling with their crossdressing. I just want to know if part of becoming at peace with who and what you are is directly related to merging these two personalities and becoming one person that dresses differently at times.

For me at least, once I accepted that I am the same person, I accepted who and what I am and did feel a lot more comfortable and happy with my dressing and life in general.

Kisses,

Allie

[Sarah Doepner]

Oh my! Who am I really?

At the core I have the same values regardless of what or who I look like. I like the same things regardless, but am better able or freer to explore some depending on how I am dressed at the time. My behavior is different, since when dressed en femme I am attempting to experience life differently from how I do most of the time.

Getting my girl on is a treat and I treat those times as special. I don't have different personalities, but I do try to behave appropriate to my appearance.

[sarahNZ]

Complete oposites

man mode is a dominent provider that thinks about the consequenses and works hard to keep up the tough guy image, never show emotions cause they are a sign of weakness, doesn't care about fashion or much for what people think of me etc etc often described as a real man's man.

On the other hand... I am soft submissive and cuddley, a real girly girl I even bake, loves to look good, cares what other people think about me, and scared to tell because I have been treated badly so many times before.

Honestly if I could meet myself I think we would make the perfect couple,but the dishes still would never get done cause the cook doesn't clean in my house. :D

[Jessica_M]

It's interesting to think about... I've been working for years to act as a normal GG would act (a GG with character traits I admire)... I want to be like her and do things like her. I've found that my guy side has become softer and merging more towards my girl side. (Yea!!).. But I do find that in guy side, I find myself thinking about how I am acting and my mannerisims.... I'm really glad that as far as viewing people and situations, my girl side is dominant.... and I'm glad for it. I think it makes my guy side a much nicer person to anyone I meet.

The larger issue for me is not passing. When dressed, I would love to be out and about with people.... and I think I would like to spend some time with a "boyfriend"... The struggle is in being dressed in isolation... That to me is the biggest "split personality" problem.

Jessica_M

[Kathi Lake]

For those of you that responded that you really have the same personality:
Are you comfortable with or struggling with the fact your personalities are the sameI am so comfortable in my own skin that my wife sometimes feels that I am part exhibitionist. I don't mean to toodle around the house naked, it just seems right. :)

Seriously though, I have no issues whatsoever with my dressing, with my girly mannerisms, with who I am. I am me, and I like the person that I've become. Sure, there were some pretty crappy things that happened to me in my youth - body image problems and the like - but I like who I am now. As a result, I can't really think too badly about past events, can I?

On my personality, a past girlfriend once said something to me along the lines of "We are all a mixture of Yin and Yang - Male and Female, you just seem to have a lot more female than male in you." You know what? I'm good with that. :)

Kathi

[cindym5_04]

I'm almost like two different people, but still have some of the same traits at the same time. My interests generally are the same, like sports, music, etc. "Cindy" is much more outgoing, is attracted to both girls and guys, is willing to have some drinks and just "let go" in general- definitely more of a free-spirit. My normal male self is generally in a lot more control of the situation, analyzes outcomes, etc- just overall a lot more reserved.

[Ms Mira]

I am more or less the same person whether I am dressed or not.
I haven't been in any social situations dressed, but I'm sure I'd act the same.

There are subtle differences though. Dressing certainly does make me feel different...

[Melissa Rose]

I am the same person, but different parts of my personality become more prominent depending on whether I'm in male or female mode. I like many of my female personality traits over my male ones. Over time I have noticed my female personality traits have migrated, for the better, over to my male side, but rarely the converse. It is a conscious decision most of the time. At the risk of perpetuating stereotypes, I'm more nuturing, caring, empathic and a better listener than in the past. I'm more open to asking and receiving help without it bruising my ego. Also, I'm more aware and sensitive to gender double standards and sexism. While some of this could be attributed to wisdom gained through age and experience, I believe most of it comes from allowing and fostering my feminine side. I truly believe I am a better person and human because of it.

[Aubrey Green]

Hi Girls,

This is some really good input.



For those of you that responded that you have two different personalities:
Are you comfortable with or struggling with the fact your personalities are different?

I talk with a lot of girls that are struggling with their crossdressing. I just want to know if part of becoming at peace with who and what you are is directly related to merging these two personalities and becoming one person that dresses differently at times.



Kisses,

Allie

It is not just a day to day struggle, but a minute to minute struggle with who I really am. Aubrey wants her own life and wants to be in charge of it, to make her own decisions. Have her own failures and triumphs. It is a struggle to keep from doing what I know would make Aubrey complete, but it has been ongoing for 39 years.
:daydreaming:

[Valerie]

I sense that Allie believes it is better to have an integrated personalilty. It is a free country and she may be right. In my case, though, I am quite different, and I value very much being able to be different. I surprise myself. Still, I do understand that feeling the same can be serene and less troubling. Just not what happens to me.

Valerie

[AllieSummers]

Valerie,

I do believe that everyone is different. I am always respectful of other people's views. I find that questioning things helps me better understand myself.

I do feel that striking the proper harmony is the key to being at peace with your dressing.

I think that most people on here, not all, but most would love to be honest about their dressing. Most are in the closet. Most are really concerned about coming out because they don't feel their spouse will accept it.

I think the main reason my wife is very supportive is because she now knows that I am not that much different when I'm dressed. If I were totally different I know she would have more of a problem accepting it and definitely wouldn't participate in it.

I also know that I would have much more internal conflict if I were two totally different people.

To each their own. I am just presenting some things to think about. :)

Kisses,

Allie

[Melanie R]

I am usually the same person no matter how I am dressed. I do tend to be more passive when I am enfemme and more in charge in drab. I recall Halloween of 1988 when I spent the day at my office as Melanie. My secretary did tell me at the end of the day that this person (and all staff in the office called me Melanie that day even though I had not told them about Melanie) was so much nicer to work for today than working for Mel. She said why can't you come to the office like this every day. Yes, I wish I could have crossed that bridge but things were different 21 years ago.

Allie, I hope you and your wife will join us on the Halloween cruise.

[Miranda09]

Hi Girls,

This is some really good input.

So let me ask two more questions. There is no right and wrong answer. :)

For those of you that responded that you really have the same personality:
Are you comfortable with or struggling with the fact your personalities are the same?

For those of you that responded that you have two different personalities:
Are you comfortable with or struggling with the fact your personalities are different?

I talk with a lot of girls that are struggling with their crossdressing. I just want to know if part of becoming at peace with who and what you are is directly related to merging these two personalities and becoming one person that dresses differently at times.

For me at least, once I accepted that I am the same person, I accepted who and what I am and did feel a lot more comfortable and happy with my dressing and life in general.

Kisses,

Allie

As for me, I responded that my personalities are separate and I have no problems with it. There both easy to deal with because they're both me and I love them both. :)

[Fab Karen]

You're correct. As the old song goes,"I gotta be me"

[amandag]

two different feelings. As a woman I feel totally relaxed yet more youthful. I look at life in a more exciting way.

[Chrissie P]

I am a Gemini (twins). As a male I am not overly masculine, just normal I guess.

As a female my body language and expressions are feminine, but not overly so (as in the limp wrist). Since I usually dress for a few full days and nights my actions and feelings become more feminine. I have no problem mixing in as a woman because at that point I AM a woman in my appearance, gestures and demeanor, attitude and obviously clothing and my body.

With men I am a little demanding. I know that I am the subject of their desires and I find it interesting that I can control the situation. It's a neat feeling. :heehee:

[Evelyn]

Oh my! Who am I really?

At the core I have the same values regardless of what or who I look like. I like the same things regardless, but am better able or freer to explore some depending on how I am dressed at the time. My behavior is different, since when dressed en femme I am attempting to experience life differently from how I do most of the time.

Getting my girl on is a treat and I treat those times as special. I don't have different personalities, but I do try to behave appropriate to my appearance.

Beautifully put Sarah, I feel exactly the same way.

Your question 'Oh my! Who am I really?' is very poignant. If only we could all answer that with certainty and honesty, and then live out our lives having decided who we truly are in peace and contentment. Sheer bliss. xx