still unsure

[dottiep]

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:40 am Post subject: Still unsure

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I have been dressing for over 40 years and my wife has known about this side of me for at least 15 years.

She is supportive and often helps me with my female side - shopping, makeup, etc. I can spend evening with her fully dressed with no problems and we have also been intimate when I am Dottie.

Why then do I still feel uneasy dressing/undressing in front of her.

Why do I feel so awkward that I can't tell I would love to wear a nightie in bed.

Any advice is welocomed
_________________
Lots of Hugs
Dottie
xx

[Shari]

Dottie, if I had the answer to that, I'd share it in a heart beat.

My situation is the same as yours and I feel the same way.

After many years, I finally admitted to myself that dressing is what I do and I am a crossdresser.

Why I feel so much discomfort in front of my wife, I don't know. My recent dressing has been regulated to my alone times.

Damn the guilt. We shouldn't have to worry about that.

If you find the answer, please share. It's so frustrating being out and allowed, but now our own tiny brains won't allow us.

Sigh.

[Lori Robins]

I think we are all cursed :devil: I am in the same situation, my wife says I can wear whatever I want to bed but I still feel funny when I put on my nightie. Go figure!

[Misty G]

I for one can also dress with wife around and in front of her but I also wear a nightie to bed most nights. Sometimes on Sunday morn I might not shed my nightie until noon. I often wear my nightie while lounging around reading

[Shelly Preston]

I would suggest its a niggling fear about pushing the limits

Even though you have such wonderful times together, it is till there at the back of your mind. The guilt factor can be very strong.

Its not easy to overcome either but with time and effort and lots of reassurance from your partner you can become comfortable with the situation

:hugs:

[Angie G]

I wish i could answer that Dotti. It may be your a bit afraid she may not approve or something. Try to relax talk to her about what is bothering you that may help.:hugs:
Angie

[Sarah Doepner]

I agree with Angie G. Since your wife does know and you can dress around her, take the next opportunity to have a little talk, while you are dressed. Let her know how much you appreciate her support and then explain the conflict you feel despite that support. Ask her for some help and advice. Better than pushing the envelope on your own, you can define the limits of your crossdressing experience as a couple.

She might appreciate a reminder of how much you respect her opinion.

[Carly D.]

When I dressed up and went out this past spring I wasn't sure of myself while out this way.. I after all had been in the closet and hiding this aspect of my life for forever.. and it is hard to change that way of thinking.. the thinking process of making sure no one sees me dressed up.. and also I wasn't doing it to pass while in the house so suddenly I was worried about so many things.. passing was one of them..

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Why then do I still feel uneasy dressing/undressing in front of her.

Why do I feel so awkward that I can't tell I would love to wear a nightie in bed.

Because crossdressing is a social taboo that carries with it a pretty hefty stigma. That's the short answer, but pretty much it in a nutshell.

You're afraid to be yourself wholly because of all the lies you've been dished up all your life. Do not believe the lies. The truth is that there is nothing wrong in being who you are. Remove the social stigma and there would be no feelings of uncertainty in your mind at all. :)

For the record, I'm perfectly comfortable around my wife en femme. It felt funny from time to time while coming out to her (which was a process that took about a year for me to complete), but now I'm very comfortable in anything I wear around her. No weird feelings at all - just enjoy being myself. If I got here, you can too! :)

[jenna_woods]

I would say tell her your wishes, I did and my wife and I both wear matching nightgowns to bed, its wonderful.