Sometimes you all amaze me

[Nikki A.]

Haven't had much of a chance to write or reply to the threads lately, but I just want to say that some of you amaze me in your courage and convictions. While I have been out dressed, do my own shopping and say that it is for me, I have not had the courage to go to Loews in a skirt and heels, and the rest in drab although I wish I had the guts to do it.
Just want to commend you all that push the boundaries and show that we are all just looking to express ourselves and be who we are.

[Kathi Lake]

Searching,

You'll get there, hon! You just have to realize that the only person you need to impress is yourself. If you wouldn't actively seek a person's opinion, does it really matter to you what they say or think? Be comfortable in your own skin, love who you are and all will be well.

Kathi

[Sarah Doepner]

Like Kathi said, find your comfort zone and be happy. If that zone expands to other environments and includes other people, good for you. If it doesn't, stay happy within your own skin. That's what matters.

[rickie121x]

Comfort zone: There are those of us who fear "what might happen" should they venture into any public area - wow, that doesn't leave a very large comfort zone. There are those of us who will partially dress and drive around in our cars, but only at night - not a very large zone there either

There are those of us who simply live a whole life in female garb, going everywhere and doing everything... so they say, and many I believe. They have a large zone in which to be comfortable or partially comfortable

I would believe that most of us have chosen selective paths out into the "world" which provide us with a feeling of safety - where we will not be accosted by thuggish types, that a teenager will not poke fun at us, there will be no wry comments either in front of or behind our backs - where we will not be recognized by family or friends who "do not already know about our special needs."

Courage: I don't know if that word really applies here. I would think that the controlling emotion is usually fear. Well, I know that it is that for me. My fears can easily be quantified as far as certain of my neighbors are concerned. I am sure that and I am afraid that they will not like me if they should know the truth. Sadly I am not so secure that I could live comfortably without their support and friendship.... A serious question arises, do I really have a friend if they do no know the "true" me?

I actually expect that I will continue living in this dilemna to the end of my days - it is more comfortable that way.

[sissystephanie]

Kathi said it very well, The only person you have to impress, other than maybe your wife or SO, is yourself. The rest of the public doesn't count. I go everywhere wearing skirts and heels, but no makeup and no wig. Just a guy in a skirt! That is me, and I am happy that way.

You can do that, or some version, yourself. As has been said, impress yourself!!

To Rickie, it is not Courage that allows me to venture out in public dressed. It is self confidence!! I know what and who I am, and I don't really care what others think. I am sure my neighbors have seen me dressed, since I make no effort to hide it. But no one has ever mentioned anything to me about it! I guess that is what you call a true friend, they know and don't care! How I choose to dress is my business, and only mine! That attitude allows much more happiness, IMHO!

[Marisa_M]

Searching,

You'll get there, hon! You just have to realize that the only person you need to impress is yourself. If you wouldn't actively seek a person's opinion, does it really matter to you what they say or think? Be comfortable in your own skin, love who you are and all will be well.

Kathi

I agree with Kathi and the other girls.
The thing is to be happy being what you are and feeling what you feel.:hugs:

[sandra-leigh]

Some days it is even easier than putting on a pair of jeans, and other days it is gut-wrenching even just to put on a top that only someone who had seen the exact same top for sale would recognize as having come from the "women's" department.

I haven't dressed much lately. Last night at our club was "Spouse appreciation night", and my spouse has been un-appreciative of my dressing so much lately that the best I could manage to was drop in for 1/2 hour in complete drab, before heading home and hoping my spouse wasn't in too bad of a mood and would appreciate that for her sake I had restrained and not stayed out late. But she wasn't in a bad mood, she wondered why I hadn't felt comfortable going and hadn't stayed (this just two days after a very chilly remark she made about the meeting.) The mixed messages are driving me bonkers.

But that's these days... the rest of the time, it's sort of like going downhill skiing after you haven't been for a while: first you spend a while nervous and unsure of what you are doing and why you are doing it... and then before you know it, you're walking tall and proud, smiling, and even the people who "read" you in a glance treat you with respect and hold doors for you, because while you weren't looking, your femme self-confidence mugged your male insecurities and took over running the operation.

I am, by the way, speaking as someone who has, several times, gone grocery shopping as "a guy in a skirt" or gone out in public as "a guy in a dress". "Guy in a dress" is harder than "guy in a skirt", at least for me...

But sometimes it isn't "courage" but despairation or need -- sometimes not being yourself is much harder on you than going out and being you no matter what the neighbours say.

[Nikki A.]

As for myself, I have been out to various (mixed and private events) dressed up, and actually have been comfortable doing it with no problems.
Do I think that I pass? No. But if I choose to express myself this way so be it and if it bothers some people so be it. It's just that where I live and the job that I do if it became common knowledge I could have a problem with my job and career. Pa is an at will state and if the wrong people found out I could be out of a job and I do enjoy what I do. I choose who I tell and hope for the best, so far my instincts have been good.
Those of you who are freer I commend you and hope that you find a balance that makes you happy. Those of you who still hide it, if you are content with it good for you.