Honestly, I don't want to be so glamorous

[jeanclaude]

When reading guides on how to dress and act on the Internet, or going through forums, all I have found so far is information about how to wear dresses and makeup and high heels, and how to move elegantly with much reference to "gliding."

It makes me feel sometimes like I'm the only one who feels more comfortable wearing things that aren't glamorous or don't draw attention to myself; I don't want people to look at me and think I'm pretty or elegant, I just want to be able to be looked at and perceived as female. Is this rare in MTF?

I'd also be curious to know, if you would indulge me, gentle Internet, if in your opinion it is easier to pass as female in clothing that covers more of your body and doesn't draw attention to any feminine features. On one hand, I'm sure people immediately associate a low-cut blouse with being a woman; but on the other, it may also draw too much attention to areas which, in some men, may not be able to pass as female. I tend to dress in the way some younger FTMs are known to dress, with baggier pants and hooded sweatshirts. Being a girly-girl really doesn't appeal to me, and so far it's given a lot people the impression that I'm a lesbian, but a female lesbian, at least, so I guess I'll take it. :worried: Is anyone else like this out there?

[Sarah Doepner]

Jeanclaude,

Honestly, I can't be glamorous, so I'm attracted to questions like yours.

I would suggest you take a look through some of the archives and you will find a number of threads similar to yours. The most recent one is buried back several pages but I thought it held a pretty good discussion of what level of presentation people want to achieve. go to

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111395

and see if that helps.

[Evelyn]

In my view, it's the easiest thing in the world to dress as a woman and go completely un-noticed.

Take a look at the women in your local supermarket who are doing the weekly food shop. It's a fair bet to say that a good percentage of them will be wearing
androgynous clothing,i.e., jeans, flat shoes/trainers, some sort of shapeless top or jacket.

Its only when you start looking at how women dress to do the ordinary daily things,that you realise they dont look very feminine at all, not in the way that a CD'er would try to do it.

Of course, shape and figure come into the equation, but you can address this with padding and forms. The only other obstacle is how you present yourself facially. Do you give it everything you've got or just keep it simple.

There are not many who can pass as a woman in broad daylight, or under shop lighting, so my advice is dont try too hard. Just be natural, even if you come over as a gay/effeminate man.

After all, in these times, where's the harm in that.

Stay safe x

[Melissa Rose]

jeanclaude, there is absolute nothing wrong with the way you are feeling and I suspect it is not unusual. Unless at a club, party or special event, most women do not dress extremely flashy or glamorous. Most are dressed for comfort and convenience - jeans/slacks or shorts; t-shirt, blouse or sweater; and sneakers or flats. Their makeup is usually minimal and their hair simply done. The ones over-dressed tend to stand out in those places. You do not have to be all glammed up to pass or look like a woman. If baggy pants and a hoodie feels right, go for it. Dress the way you feel like and not the way others think you should. Attitude is more important than the clothes. Find that place and you will be fine, hun.

[Sarah-RT]

Thats exactly how I feel aswell.

Im young, so dresses are a league ahead of me for the moment, i perceive CDing of my age to be strappy tops,skinny jeans, ug ( spelling? ) boots etc.

Sadly, the vast majority of CDing info is aimed at men in their 30's or 40's. im still a good bit away from that at the minute.

[jeanine38]

I totally agree!

I have no feminine features and trying to pass is just not something that I think I can pull off. I just like wearing women's clothes, and that's pretty much my goal. A basic blouse, jeans, sandles, purse, and the appropriate underwear would be perfect!

[TSchapes]

You can wear whatever you want! I don't see a big problem with wearing everyday clothes. I do that too. And yes, too much emphasis is spent on how you should look and walk. So help me the next person that tells me I have to walk with one foot in front of the other like runway models, I'll scream!

But, don't shun the glamor stuff all together though. It's fun from time to time to get all glammed up!

I enjoy both styles!

-Tracy

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Well, honey, some of us just can't effin help it.<Joni rolls around on the floor laffin her butt off.> That's a joke, girlfriend. Why worry about it? Real girls don't.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Jeanna]

A girl can never look too good!

[DinaMature]

Thats exactly how I feel aswell.

Im young, so dresses are a league ahead of me for the moment, i perceive CDing of my age to be strappy tops,skinny jeans, ug ( spelling? ) boots etc.

Sadly, the vast majority of CDing info is aimed at men in their 30's or 40's. im still a good bit away from that at the minute.

with the shoe on the other foot, I'm definitely mature (fiddy, as of last month) and my ambition is a no.glam or low.glam trip to the mall or maybe lunch at a diner. Dresses n skirts are nice but I think would be mostly out of place for my imagined outing.
I'm angling for nice pants, some flat or wedged shoes and probably a tunic top. I think bare shoulders or arms would be too strong a signal the wrong way for me to get away with.

I agree with the earlier remark that attention to the facial appearance is more key, especially in my case. I take comfort in the many "less than lovely" ladies I see shopping... I can do at least that well for myself, certainly better than some.

[Josie M]

No, definitely not a "rare" thing. I'd love to present an attractive female image but, given the choice, I'd rather be passable than glamorous.

[TGMarla]

Whereas I really like being "glamorous", I readily admit that this desire is likely a result of the fact that clothing like dresses, hosiery, heels, and all that frilly stuff is prohibited to men. That always has made me feel like I'm forced to miss out on one of life's great pleasures. So I indulge in it on my own. And even though I go in for all that stuff you say you aren't drawn to, I can easily see where you're coming from.

This gives you an edge that many of us don't have. You can dress down, do it comfortably, and still enjoy the feminine experience on your own terms. You asked if you should dress in clothing that covers more or covers less. Well, that depends on what you're willing to do to alter your outward appearance physically. Things like shaving your arms, armpits, chest and back (if necessary), legs, hands, and feet will help you to pass. Girls just don't normally have that much hair. And men's hair, like on their arms, is generally more coarse than women's. So the only answer is often to just get rid of it. If you do so, you can wear more revealing clothing and get away with it. Otherwise, it's long sleeves and long pants.

[Cheshire Gummi]

To be honest with ya, jeanclaude, I know how you feel and I am exactly the same.

I am not delicate and I don't know the first thing about gliding. I know a lot about powerslides, though, if you're interested. I love comfy, minimalistic skirts, a sorta-girly(tm...?) tees, and frankly I hate shoes. All kinds. 'Specially heels. My feet don't deserve those tortures. Make up is fun, but not that heavily layered stuff. I just don't care to look like a fifties starlet.

I think you know what I mean, eh?

The common notions that are passed down to the public at large might not fit that image, since you're not strutting around in 4 inch heels, being all catty and what have, but their perceptions are w-r-o-n-g.

I have a girlfriend, too. She likes me better as a woman than a man.

So there you have it. Kindred spirit all the way. : D